1 00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,031 I'm gonna get 2 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:35,382 a big tattoo of a rusty chain that goes from my leg 3 00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:37,471 and wraps around up my neck. 4 00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:39,560 You can't just get a tattoo of a chain. 5 00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:42,171 - You've got to earn it. - I will when I take over a ship. 6 00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:45,131 Come on, Risik. 7 00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:47,481 We deliver fuel and supplies to real pirates. 8 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,135 We're, like, pirate adjacent. 9 00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:50,788 Right now I'm just a plunder sorter, 10 00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:52,834 but I'm capable of way more. 11 00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:55,576 Sure you are. Trash barrel. 12 00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:56,925 Hey, did you guys see that Maleer got 13 00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:59,449 big pieces of metal attached to her head? 14 00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:01,495 - No way. - They look awesome. 15 00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:03,540 She shaved off her hair and now she has these, like, 16 00:01:03,541 --> 00:01:04,846 gnarly bolts sticking out. 17 00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:06,935 Whoa! Maybe I'll get some of those, too. 18 00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:09,068 How about you get an original idea for once? 19 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,157 I'm stealing. Pirates steal. 20 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,550 I think that makes you more of an Orion plagiarist. 21 00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:26,868 Hailing frequency's open, Captain. 22 00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:29,088 Small vessel, power down your engines 23 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,090 and we will board you without violence. 24 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,353 We have dilithium to deliver. 25 00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:35,442 - This will put us behind. - Hush, Z'oto. 26 00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:38,532 Let's have some fun for once. They're right there. 27 00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:39,707 Captain, the vessel's speed 28 00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,100 - is decreasing. - See? 29 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,667 This'll be a quick pillage. 30 00:01:45,801 --> 00:01:47,845 - They're powering weapons! - Raise shields. 31 00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:49,195 Power relays are failing! 32 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,197 - Get them back online. - Trying to reroute power. 33 00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:53,287 How did they access our system? 34 00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:11,712 And... 35 00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:14,018 done! All the diseases blocked by 36 00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,020 the transporter biofilter after last week's shore leave 37 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:17,500 have been cataloged. 38 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:20,634 Next up is... nothing? 39 00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:21,549 That can't be right. 40 00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:22,766 There's always something to do. 41 00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:23,767 Well, one of the great things 42 00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:25,334 about being a lieutenant JG 43 00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:27,641 is it's actually possible to finish your work. 44 00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:29,643 We should do something fun! 45 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:32,341 Celebrating a lack of purpose is illogical. 46 00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:33,777 Hey, Ma. What up? 47 00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:36,693 I have exciting news for Lieutenant Tendi. 48 00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:39,827 You've been granted leave to visit your family on Orion, 49 00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:41,350 effective immediately. 50 00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:44,048 Wow. My family. 51 00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:46,660 Apparently, your sister is getting married. 52 00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:49,706 - Congratulations. - Wait, wedding, sister, parents? 53 00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,230 Tendi, I-I'm sorry, I'm freaking out... 54 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,883 This is more backstory than I have ever been able 55 00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:54,711 - to get out of you. - That's okay, 56 00:03:54,712 --> 00:03:56,365 Captain Freeman. I don't need to go. I mean, 57 00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:57,801 there's so much work to catch up on. 58 00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,934 Starfleet is eager 59 00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:01,544 to demonstrate goodwill 60 00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:04,243 after the recent disappearance of an Orion ship. 61 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,593 Right. If it's to help Starfleet, 62 00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:08,290 I-I guess I could go. 63 00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:09,813 Thank you, Lieutenant. 64 00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:13,600 Hey, you okay, D? 65 00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:16,994 Yeah, I-I just haven't been home in so long. 66 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,692 Plus, they want me to be in the ceremony, 67 00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:20,737 which means writing a speech. 68 00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:22,565 And of course they'll want photos of all of us 69 00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:24,132 in our belly dancer outfits. 70 00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:27,396 It is rare for outsiders to observe Orion rituals. 71 00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:29,050 May I accompany you on this mission? 72 00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:30,921 The High Council would find my report enlightening. 73 00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:33,010 What? No! I mean, 74 00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:35,665 it's going to be super unenlightening, actually. 75 00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:37,145 Come on, dude, T'Lyn's right. I mean, 76 00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:39,321 nobody knows anything about your culture. 77 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,583 I have put my foot in my mouth enough 78 00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:42,063 when it comes to Orion stuff. 79 00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,543 We want to learn about the real you. 80 00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:44,718 But the real me is just gonna be doing 81 00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,328 a bunch of boring traditions. 82 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:47,895 Sounds awesome. Plus, I'm sorry, I just... 83 00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:49,723 I have to get away from Boims and Rutherford. 84 00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:50,941 Ever since they moved in together, they're, like, 85 00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:52,378 finishing each other's sentences. 86 00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,684 Their emotional closeness is unpleasant. 87 00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:56,425 - I don't know. - Please. 88 00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:58,732 Let me support my number one Orion amiga. 89 00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,734 Okay, sure. Why not? 90 00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,170 Maybe it'll be good for you guys to see 91 00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,606 what my homeworld is actually like. 92 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:06,130 Hell yeah. Triple threat girls' trip. 93 00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:08,350 I hope we will be allowed to view their aquifers. 94 00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:11,702 Ooh, okay. T'Lyn getting rowdy. 95 00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:17,577 Ooh, love the new bedspread, roomie. 96 00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:19,579 - Andorian linen? - You know it, roomie. 97 00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:21,320 - So breathable. - So breathable. 98 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,017 It's like grandmama Boimler used to say: 99 00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:25,759 "A cool duvet keeps the raisin rats away." 100 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,151 Speaking of sleep, is there anything 101 00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:28,414 I can do to improve yours? 102 00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,719 I know sometimes I shift around 103 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,460 when I'm engineering in my dreams. 104 00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:32,679 Your squirming is so gentle. 105 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,811 It actually lulls me to sleep faster. 106 00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:37,814 Aw, roomie, your presence comforts me, too. 107 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,729 I'm so glad we ended up bunking together. 108 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:42,471 - Nothing can stop Brutherford! - Brutherford! 109 00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:46,910 Whoopsie-doopsie. 110 00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:49,478 I was just gonna give our bonsai here a little spritz. 111 00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:51,219 I was, too. Lil Boney loves 112 00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:52,786 a little watery hug in the morning. 113 00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:54,614 I've got an algorithm which tells me exactly 114 00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,833 how many ounces Lil Boney needs for optimal health. 115 00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,487 Yeah, but I've got a green thumb 116 00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:00,359 from growing up on a vineyard. You can't trust 117 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,925 an algorithm for everything, right? 118 00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:02,926 - Give me the mister. - Nope. 119 00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:04,493 - Give it to me. - No! 120 00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:07,192 - Give it to me! - I said no, Mr. Rutherford! 121 00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:30,040 I'm sorry. What? 122 00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:33,827 You grew up in a castle, like friggin' Billups? 123 00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:35,481 Just a regular old Orion upbringing. 124 00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:37,178 - No fancy stuff. - Halt! 125 00:06:37,179 --> 00:06:39,049 Hiyah! 126 00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:40,877 Get in the shuttle. 127 00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:42,718 I'll hold them off while you guys get airborne. 128 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:46,230 Greetings, Mistress. May we take your bags? 129 00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:48,102 Hi, Syraa. Yes, please. 130 00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:51,235 Ooh, I am sorry about that. 131 00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:52,498 I think we can skip the sedan, if that's... 132 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,891 Whoop! 133 00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:58,460 All right, we're getting lugged by the big boys. 134 00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:00,462 - Tendi, I'm sorry, are you loaded? - No. 135 00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:03,117 We're barely the fifth-largest family in the Syndicate. 136 00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:04,510 Orions downplay their wealth 137 00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,816 while simultaneously making a spectacle of it. 138 00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:08,296 I mean, you don't 139 00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:10,167 have to put that in your report, do you? 140 00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:11,691 Look, I am from a post-scarcity world, 141 00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:13,910 and this is still impressive. 142 00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:15,216 Look at that big-ass gate! 143 00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:17,045 N... I mean, it's not that big. 144 00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:23,355 D'Vana, my light in the dark. Welcome home. 145 00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:27,489 Mwah. Mwah. 146 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:29,491 Mariner, T'Lyn, meet my parents, 147 00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:32,407 the Warrior Queen Shona and B'Rt. 148 00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:35,018 So, you do have Starfleet friends. 149 00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:38,021 I would say I've heard so much about you, but, well, 150 00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:40,023 Orions don't lie. 151 00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:42,330 - You don't? - No, we do all the time. 152 00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:44,027 I can't stay silent any longer. 153 00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:46,290 D'Vana, D'Erika's been kidnapped. 154 00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:48,031 What? No way. 155 00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:50,469 Bridal kidnappings are an Orion rite of passage. 156 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,166 Interesting. 157 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:55,038 I'm sure the rival family will make their demands soon enough. 158 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:57,998 Brides are only abducted after save-the-dates 159 00:07:57,999 --> 00:07:59,913 and before the invitations. 160 00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:01,523 This is far too late. 161 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,220 Mom, you're overreacting. 162 00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:04,744 As prime daughter it's up to you 163 00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:06,310 to rescue your sister. 164 00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:07,747 What is a prime? 165 00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:09,792 I don't know, but it sounds cool as hell. 166 00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:11,011 I concur. 167 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:13,187 You've turned your back on our traditions. 168 00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:15,145 So this wasn't an invitation. 169 00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:16,843 You just wanted me to rescue D'Erika. 170 00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:20,368 Don't be dramatic. Of course it's nice to see you. 171 00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,804 There's also a box of stuff 172 00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:23,066 we want you to get out of the garage. 173 00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,547 You have to save your sister. 174 00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:27,027 Because you love her or because this wedding's 175 00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:28,594 just an excuse to merge our house 176 00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:29,986 with another Syndicate family? 177 00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:31,161 Obviously both. 178 00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,946 Fine. 179 00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:35,557 I knew we could count on you. 180 00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:38,081 To the oil baths. 181 00:08:38,082 --> 00:08:39,779 Wow, everyone here really loves 182 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:41,563 getting carried around on platters. 183 00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,304 Who's ready for a very standard, 184 00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:45,480 borderline boring Orion rescue mission? 185 00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:48,004 Let's do it. And then after, 186 00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:50,138 maybe we do those oil baths I keep hearing about. 187 00:08:51,879 --> 00:08:53,314 I've never asked you for anything! 188 00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:55,490 I've never asked you for anything, too. 189 00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:56,883 Aah! 190 00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,362 You misted me. 191 00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:00,364 It just went off in my hand. 192 00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:02,192 We have the holodeck reserved. 193 00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:04,325 How about we go have some fun, and then after, 194 00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:07,416 maybe we'll get along better. 195 00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:16,946 What in the Sam Hill are you a-wearing? 196 00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:19,035 I thought I was supposed to be Twain. 197 00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:21,472 - I - say you are incorrect, sir. 198 00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:24,127 I believe we decided I would be Twain. 199 00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:26,913 Twin Twains? That dog won't hunt. 200 00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:28,305 Mr. Clemens? 201 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:30,264 - That's me. - No, I'm Twain. 202 00:09:30,265 --> 00:09:32,962 Switch costumes, you ignominious pretender. 203 00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:35,095 You're more stubborn than a senate mule. 204 00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:37,010 - Grits, grits, grits! - Tarnation! 205 00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:39,709 - Fancy pants, big-city lawyer. - I say you are incorrect, sir. 206 00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:45,322 I fail to understand why we must wear this attire 207 00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:47,324 when we are clearly not Orions. 208 00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:49,152 The material is inefficient. 209 00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:50,850 I know the uniform is more comfortable, 210 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:53,113 but Slit Throat has a dress code. 211 00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,289 You know, got to respect that they didn't even pretend 212 00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:56,464 to add a pun in there. 213 00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,074 It shows strength. I like it. 214 00:09:58,075 --> 00:09:59,989 We're just gonna grab some info and be on our way. 215 00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:02,470 Sure, but how the hell are we getting in there? 216 00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:06,430 - Let us in. - Get in line. 217 00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:07,954 Mistress of the Winter Constellations! 218 00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:10,260 I didn't realize! Please don't flay me. 219 00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:13,089 H-he's just kidding. I would never flay. 220 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:15,265 I owe you an eternal debt of gratitude. 221 00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:17,180 My grandchildren will sing of this day. 222 00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:19,356 Tendi. 223 00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:22,490 Shame on you for not bringing me here before now. 224 00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:27,713 Are we gonna talk about how everyone's in awe of Tendi? 225 00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,063 She does command an unexpected gravitas 226 00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:31,631 for someone so excitable. 227 00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,678 It's on the house, Mistress. 228 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,072 And that is from the Madame. 229 00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:40,595 Mariner! 230 00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:42,423 All good. 231 00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:45,034 I love it, actually. All part of the ambience. 232 00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:48,559 Here for payback, D'Vana? 233 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,431 I don't know what you're talking about, Madame G. 234 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:52,607 I'm just here looking for my sister. 235 00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:55,654 Bridal kidnappings are so gaudy. 236 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,307 I thought the Tendis had class. 237 00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:59,570 I don't care what you think, just what you know. 238 00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,050 I've heard some whispers, 239 00:11:01,051 --> 00:11:02,836 but you'll have to earn them. 240 00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:06,013 Please, can we not? 241 00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:25,641 Has Starfleet softened you? 242 00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:30,253 Yes. I love being soft. 243 00:11:30,254 --> 00:11:32,691 Tendi, how are you so good at the murder-bug drinking game? 244 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,388 I don't know. It's my first time. 245 00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:35,564 Guess I'm just a natural. 246 00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:40,133 Nya'al is still in love with D'Erika. 247 00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,178 Everyone knows it. 248 00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,355 So you're saying he's to blame? 249 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:52,536 Bridenappings are for show. But if it was Nya'al, 250 00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,103 D'Erika could really be in trouble. 251 00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:56,018 - Let's get moving. - Let's get brunch 252 00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:58,194 - while you're in town, girl. - For sure. 253 00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,849 There is no way I'm calling her. 254 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:08,204 And you, sir, are as clever 255 00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:10,119 as an alley cat on his tenth life. 256 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,468 - I - am but a humble crumb 257 00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:13,688 on the biscuit of your wit, sir. 258 00:12:15,256 --> 00:12:18,693 I say, I can't believe two charming devils 259 00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:21,565 such as ourselves were ever at odds, 260 00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,567 my identical friend. 261 00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:25,439 Yeah. For some reason, when we're both Mark Twain, 262 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,223 we seem to be able to really find common ground 263 00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:29,356 without any lingering resentment. 264 00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:31,097 I mean, 265 00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:33,839 to paraphrase the old rail-splitter, 266 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:37,146 a house divided in Twain cannot stand. 267 00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:38,582 Okeydokey. 268 00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:41,847 It would be my honor if you would mist the bonsai 269 00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:45,154 on odd stardates, my doppleganging devil. 270 00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:47,767 And you, sir, shall have the evens. 271 00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:50,769 Lieutenants Boimler and Rutherford 272 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:51,857 report to the bridge. 273 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,859 I say, we're on the way, sir. 274 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,775 Computer, arch. 275 00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:59,039 Why are vests so complicated? 276 00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:02,345 So, Tendi, would you like to talk 277 00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:04,695 about how you totally whupped ass back there? 278 00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,262 Yeah, sorry about that. 279 00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:08,743 High school friendships always age weird, you know? 280 00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:10,484 This next place will be way more chill. 281 00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:13,400 Fascinating. Orions attend secondary education. 282 00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:15,837 Yeah. I wasn't going to get into Starfleet Academy 283 00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:17,230 because I can tie a lot of knots. 284 00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:18,927 How many knots can you tie? 285 00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,104 Hey, I, who cares? We've all tied some knots. 286 00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:23,410 Knots are fun. 287 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,718 Ooh, pretty nice hump dungeon. 288 00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,285 I think they have one of these in New Seattle. 289 00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:31,287 These are pretty common on Orion. 290 00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:32,811 The males appear to be under some sort 291 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,203 of chemical manipulation, 292 00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:36,292 perhaps controlled by pheromones. 293 00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:38,164 - Don't log that. - Yeah, Tendi's made it clear 294 00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:39,861 that Starfleet made those pheromones up. 295 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,297 I mean, they had to explain why a captain 296 00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,256 would get taken out by some Orion showgirls. 297 00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:44,692 Yeah, that's the stuff. 298 00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:46,955 Blast me with more 'mones. 299 00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:51,307 Technically, I said that not all Orions 300 00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,483 control men with pheromones. Some of us definitely do, 301 00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:54,877 just not me. 302 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,663 Nya'al! 303 00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,274 Get back here! 304 00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,623 Nya'al's got some speed for being 305 00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:04,277 a big ol' hunk of ham steak. 306 00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,019 He is aesthetically pleasing. 307 00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:09,586 Mistress, 308 00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:10,936 I swear I know nothing. 309 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,328 I'm just a 'monehead. 310 00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:14,765 I spend all day and night hopped up on the stink. 311 00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:18,769 So what's gonna spill first... Your mouth or your guts? 312 00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:20,162 I heard that in a holo-movie. 313 00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,816 D'Vana? 314 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:25,472 Why are you threatening one of my most obedient boys? 315 00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:29,302 Relax, have a drink, get lascivious. 316 00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:32,435 I'm not interested in any of the sexy nonsense, Ingreeta. 317 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,220 I'm here for D'Erika's ex. 318 00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:36,613 Pity. The D'Vana I know 319 00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:39,355 would never turn down a cage shower. 320 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:41,488 She's kidding. Tell them you're kidding. 321 00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:43,359 It never mattered that she didn't have the pheromones. 322 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,665 She didn't need it. 323 00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:48,147 Men would simply fall at her feet, stricken. 324 00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:49,670 You stricked people? 325 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:52,238 Are all pheromonal Orions naturally manipulative 326 00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:53,935 or is it specific to this woman? 327 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:56,807 How dare you judge me, Vulcan? 328 00:14:58,375 --> 00:14:59,767 What are the odds? 329 00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:01,464 Are-Are you seeing this? 330 00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:04,380 You can't come into my scentuary and insult me. 331 00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,948 Prepare to face my thrall. Kill her. 332 00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:08,776 Tendi, look out for the hunks! 333 00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:14,651 Man, another pheromone dungeon? 334 00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:17,002 Wh-What did you do to him? 335 00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:18,612 Just a little compound I mixed up 336 00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:20,570 to counteract the effects of the pheromone. 337 00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:23,486 Would be a pity if I dispersed the whole bottle in here. 338 00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:26,228 Don't! All I have is my stink. 339 00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:28,709 Nya'al, tell her what you know. 340 00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:30,972 I've been a mess since D'Erika got engaged, 341 00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:33,844 but all I did was give myself over to the 'mones. 342 00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:37,544 Sometimes I follow her and watch wistfully from a distance. 343 00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:39,372 Last time, she was just wandering around 344 00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:40,851 the ship graveyard. 345 00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:42,897 All right, that makes sense. You're a good guy, Nya'al. 346 00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:43,985 You should go home. 347 00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,552 I will. 348 00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:46,988 Stop groveling. 349 00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:49,208 - Lick my foot. - Yes, ma'am. 350 00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:52,428 Dude, your 'stache. 351 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,215 With all due respect, Coqqor, 352 00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:57,868 you have no claim to this sector. 353 00:15:57,869 --> 00:16:00,262 That nebula is ours to scan. 354 00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:04,266 No. Your vessel will interfere with our data gathering. 355 00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:07,052 We can power down systems or share the data... 356 00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:08,923 We don't trust Starfleet data. 357 00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:11,447 - It's too nuanced and thorough. - I'm sorry, 358 00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:14,015 but analyzing that nebula is my mission. 359 00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,626 Are you willing to die for it? 360 00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:20,021 If we can't resolve this the nebula will phase shift 361 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,936 and neither of us will get to scan it. 362 00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:24,025 Then so it shall be! 363 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:25,548 Close channel. 364 00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:27,855 This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance 365 00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:29,596 to scan an oscillating nebula. 366 00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:32,686 There has to be something we can do to find common ground 367 00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:35,080 without any lingering resentment. 368 00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:36,342 Captain? 369 00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:38,474 There is one thing. 370 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:39,693 What? 371 00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:44,437 Why am I wearing this itchy hair hat? 372 00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:45,655 Is this it? 373 00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:47,875 No. You have to talk to each other. 374 00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,920 Thank you, Captain, 375 00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:52,445 for agreeing to do... this. 376 00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,490 No, you have to do the accent. 377 00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,754 I say, 378 00:16:57,755 --> 00:16:59,887 my-my good creature, 379 00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:03,369 the moral arc of history is a m... 380 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:06,067 What the hell am I supposed to say, Lieutenant? 381 00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,938 Homespun aphorisms about compromise. 382 00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:12,726 Okay, maybe you try that in a Southern accent. 383 00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:15,511 I am from South Chalnoth. 384 00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:17,122 That was a Southern accent. 385 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,039 Whoa! 386 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,868 What the hell made you two think 387 00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:26,392 - this would work? - We-we were arguing a lot 388 00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:27,828 and we both dressed like Mark Twain. 389 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:29,177 Something about us talking old-timey 390 00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:31,440 helped us figure out who should water our bonsai. 391 00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:34,575 What is bonsai? 392 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:40,928 Watch out. 393 00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:42,408 There's a loose panel over there. 394 00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:45,106 Curious. You seem familiar with this location, 395 00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,978 yet it appears to be abandoned. 396 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,590 D'Erika and I used to sneak away here when we were little. 397 00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:54,073 There! That was one of our favorites. 398 00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:59,120 I loved pretending I was off-planet, exploring space. 399 00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,688 Doing anything other than pirating. 400 00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:08,434 Guys, I have to come clean about something. 401 00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:12,133 I wasn't just a regular Orion teenager. 402 00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:14,092 - I was trained to be a Syndicate assassin. - Tendi, yeah, 403 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,397 we know, girl. You can't just say 404 00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:17,225 you're joking around when you kick-flip a knife 405 00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:20,054 - out of the air. - Your upbringing was quite obvious. 406 00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:22,883 I just hate that you guys had to see the real me. 407 00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:25,059 Tends, the real you is the one 408 00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:27,409 who geeks out about science on the Cerritos. 409 00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:30,717 But I'm a prime, you know? A... a trained assassin. 410 00:18:30,718 --> 00:18:33,241 It's-it's the most piratey someone can be. 411 00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:35,504 Incorrect. You are who you choose to be. 412 00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:38,638 A Starfleet lieutenant and a loyal friend. 413 00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:40,509 Don't worry, we know you're a big nerd 414 00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:43,033 and not some hot assassin. 415 00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:44,644 That is the nicest thing 416 00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:47,387 anyone's ever said to me. 417 00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,389 It's so weird to be here. 418 00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:53,000 This is where I told my sister that I was joining Starfleet. 419 00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:55,917 More like where you decided to abandon your family. 420 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,007 D'Erika?! 421 00:19:04,055 --> 00:19:06,579 - Hey, we did it. Case closed. - You kidnapped yourself. 422 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:09,495 Wow, did Starfleet teach you those amazing detective skills? 423 00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:11,410 Was this just to get me to show up for the wedding? 424 00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:12,628 I would have just come. 425 00:19:12,629 --> 00:19:13,629 Classic D'Vana... 426 00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,501 Always assuming it's about you. 427 00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:21,594 Ha, ha. Nope. I'm gonna stand way over here. 428 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:22,943 Fascinating. Orions primarily 429 00:19:22,944 --> 00:19:24,640 resolve disputes through violence. 430 00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:26,076 No, no, that is not true. 431 00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:28,905 D'Erika, please, can we just talk about this? 432 00:19:28,906 --> 00:19:30,604 I'll let my blade do the talking. 433 00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:34,128 Come on! 434 00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,912 D'Erika, don't stab my friends. 435 00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:37,653 What are you gonna do about it? 436 00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:41,180 Teach you how to respect your prime. 437 00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:46,488 Yes, yes. Beautiful. 438 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,621 We love it, too. Super hard to raise. 439 00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:49,796 Yeah, he's basically a son to us. 440 00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:51,145 Every day we have to make sure 441 00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:53,060 he gets just the right amount of... 442 00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:56,716 Now I'm thirsty for mist. 443 00:19:58,066 --> 00:20:01,111 I'm sated. You may inspect the nebula. 444 00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:03,897 But pray I don't change my mind. 445 00:20:03,898 --> 00:20:07,248 Yes, yes, you are very intimidating. 446 00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,425 Thank you. 447 00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:13,036 - Lil Boney. - Lil Boney. 448 00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:15,604 I don't get it. 449 00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:17,519 Why do this? Why kidnap yourself? 450 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,260 Because I knew it was the only way 451 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:20,522 to get you to come home. 452 00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:22,220 You didn't invite me. 453 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,743 Would you have even come? 454 00:20:23,744 --> 00:20:25,527 You haven't been home once since you left. 455 00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:28,008 Yeah, I've kind of been busy. Hiyah! 456 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,012 With what... scanning? 457 00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:34,275 Why is Starfleet so obsessed with scanning? 458 00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:35,537 To learn stuff! 459 00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:38,801 You abandoned me for science. 460 00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,935 Don't. 461 00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:44,720 You were trained from birth 462 00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,287 to be the Tip of the Moonlit Blade, 463 00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:48,681 the greatest duty of the Mistress 464 00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:51,031 of the Winter Constellations. 465 00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:53,207 I didn't ask for that. 466 00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:55,166 Neither did I. 467 00:20:57,952 --> 00:20:59,996 You forced this on me without asking. 468 00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:02,608 Running to Starfleet was your choice, 469 00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:04,653 but it meant all your duties fell on me. 470 00:21:04,654 --> 00:21:06,916 I had to train, I had to be the Mistress. 471 00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:09,223 I had to drop my whole life to become the new prime. 472 00:21:09,224 --> 00:21:12,661 You're right. I should have talked to you before I left 473 00:21:12,662 --> 00:21:15,708 instead of just assuming you'd want to take my place. 474 00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:17,014 I'm sorry. 475 00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:24,325 Of course I wanted to take your place. 476 00:21:24,326 --> 00:21:25,935 But I'm no D'Vana Tendi. 477 00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,589 Once I'm married, people are going to see 478 00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:29,330 that I'm a pale comparison. 479 00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:30,679 Are you kidding me? 480 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,420 The only reason I felt comfortable leaving 481 00:21:32,421 --> 00:21:35,118 was because I knew you would be better at it than me. 482 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:38,165 You just kicked my butt. You're an amazing prime. 483 00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:41,299 I guess I did kick it a little bit. 484 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,865 A lot a bit. 485 00:21:42,866 --> 00:21:45,303 D'Erika, I always loved science. 486 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,087 That was my path. 487 00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:48,654 This is yours. 488 00:21:48,655 --> 00:21:50,612 Yeah, lady, if you're worried about not being a badass, 489 00:21:50,613 --> 00:21:52,310 I have some good news for you. 490 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,834 I, too, was alarmed by your combat abilities. 491 00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:56,401 You really think I can do this? 492 00:21:56,402 --> 00:21:58,794 You absolutely belong on the Crime Throne. 493 00:21:58,795 --> 00:22:01,667 That means a lot. What time is it? 494 00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:03,190 The bridal procession is scheduled to begin 495 00:22:03,191 --> 00:22:04,409 in under two hours. 496 00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:06,193 We are never going to make it back in time. 497 00:22:06,194 --> 00:22:07,890 I might not be a pirate, 498 00:22:07,891 --> 00:22:10,632 but I've rerouted my fair share of EPS conduits. 499 00:22:10,633 --> 00:22:12,982 Who wants to hotwire a stolen ship? 500 00:22:12,983 --> 00:22:15,508 - I do not. - Stop, stop, stop. We're in. 501 00:22:23,516 --> 00:22:24,994 See? 502 00:22:24,995 --> 00:22:27,997 Sometimes being an Orion pirate isn't so bad. 503 00:22:27,998 --> 00:22:30,348 Yeah, it does come in handy. 504 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:32,785 I know you're turning in your observations 505 00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:34,830 to the High Council but maybe could you leave off 506 00:22:34,831 --> 00:22:36,223 some of the stabbings? 507 00:22:36,224 --> 00:22:39,706 Curious. My report appears to have been damaged. 508 00:22:41,838 --> 00:22:43,883 Orion culture will have to remain undocumented. 509 00:22:43,884 --> 00:22:45,101 But why? 510 00:22:45,102 --> 00:22:46,886 A report without the subject's consent 511 00:22:46,887 --> 00:22:49,106 would be unethical. 512 00:22:50,064 --> 00:22:52,500 - No! - I think the plasma manifold just ruptured. 513 00:22:52,501 --> 00:22:54,416 We're losing altitude. 514 00:22:55,896 --> 00:22:58,202 The goddess chooses our fates now! 515 00:23:03,121 --> 00:23:04,860 Mom, Dad, found her! 516 00:23:04,861 --> 00:23:06,602 Sorry, sorry, had to steal a ship. 517 00:23:07,864 --> 00:23:10,300 My special girls. 518 00:23:10,301 --> 00:23:12,260 Accomplices. 519 00:23:17,047 --> 00:23:20,399 He looks radiant. 520 00:23:25,969 --> 00:23:27,753 That's when I got stabbed in the shoulder 521 00:23:27,754 --> 00:23:29,755 during the daddy-daughter dagger dance. 522 00:23:29,756 --> 00:23:31,147 This is when we encountered a priest 523 00:23:31,148 --> 00:23:32,671 - with an eight-pack. - Ooh, ooh, ooh! 524 00:23:32,672 --> 00:23:34,194 And, this is when D'Erika 525 00:23:34,195 --> 00:23:36,544 swung her husband across the threshold. 526 00:23:36,545 --> 00:23:39,373 Yeah, well, our bonsai got gobbled up by a Chalnoth. 527 00:23:39,374 --> 00:23:41,331 Yeah, yeah, a-and the captain forbid us 528 00:23:41,332 --> 00:23:43,116 from playing Mark Twain on the holodeck. 529 00:23:43,117 --> 00:23:47,686 Are you guys jealous? It was just a wedding. 530 00:23:47,687 --> 00:23:49,949 Why would we ever want to go to an awesome pirate wedding 531 00:23:49,950 --> 00:23:52,473 on a planet nobody ever gets to see?! 532 00:23:52,474 --> 00:23:54,040 Aw, sorry you can't release some of this anger 533 00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:55,607 with Mr. Clemens. 534 00:23:55,608 --> 00:23:57,870 Shockingly, it's not the universal problem solver 535 00:23:57,871 --> 00:24:00,350 - we thought it was. - Yeah, but we've got it covered. 536 00:24:00,351 --> 00:24:01,961 Ooh, like, today we were arguing about whether 537 00:24:01,962 --> 00:24:03,789 to hang an oil painting of the Enterprise-D 538 00:24:03,790 --> 00:24:05,486 or watercolor of the Enterprise-D. 539 00:24:05,487 --> 00:24:06,661 Well, you guys just talked about your feelings 540 00:24:06,662 --> 00:24:07,836 with honesty, right? 541 00:24:07,837 --> 00:24:10,839 Yeah, I guess we could try that. 542 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,755 Shall we go with an acrylic of the D, Mozart? 543 00:24:13,756 --> 00:24:16,758 An exceptional compromise, Mozart. 544 00:24:16,759 --> 00:24:19,457 Then let us tickle the ivories. 545 00:24:24,898 --> 00:24:27,900 Dang, this thing is really hard to play. 546 00:25:26,350 --> 00:25:27,350 Chirp. 547 00:25:27,374 --> 00:25:29,374 >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org