1 00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:22,315 Give him up. 2 00:00:22,398 --> 00:00:23,691 I'll never betray the man I love. 3 00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:25,610 Even after he disgraced your family? 4 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,653 On a podcast! 5 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:31,282 He shot my friend. 6 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,317 Now tell me where he is. 7 00:00:33,342 --> 00:00:35,344 I'm an ER Nurse. 8 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,804 You'll have to kill me, bitch. 9 00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:39,707 I was hoping you'd say that. 10 00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,044 Get out of our house, clown. 11 00:00:43,169 --> 00:00:44,545 You don't wanna do this. 12 00:00:44,629 --> 00:00:45,671 Try me. 13 00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,971 Uh, fuck. 14 00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:56,391 Bravo! Threatening children. 15 00:00:56,516 --> 00:01:00,019 It's certainly a new color of heroism for the Bat family. 16 00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:02,688 I'm not in the Bat family anymore. 17 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,948 Hope my favorite patient's hungry. 18 00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,282 Three pillows? 19 00:01:13,408 --> 00:01:14,742 Come on, LeAnne. 20 00:01:14,826 --> 00:01:16,387 That is some shabby service. 21 00:01:16,411 --> 00:01:17,721 I said I'd call you when I'm discharged. 22 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,414 I thought maybe your phone was stolen. 23 00:01:19,539 --> 00:01:21,707 Medical facilities are infamous for electronics theft. 24 00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:25,294 I asked for space to adjust to being paralyzed from the waist down 25 00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:27,422 and you keep filling my room with casseroles. 26 00:01:27,547 --> 00:01:28,965 Who do you think washes all these? 27 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,718 I assume LeAnne. Not like she's doing anything else. 28 00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,740 Dude, I only have four minutes before shift change 29 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,099 to hack into the billing system. 30 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:39,641 So, thanks for stopping by. 31 00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:44,105 I think she's on her period. 32 00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:46,941 Oh, Fates, release your grasp. 33 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,609 Take me instead. 34 00:01:48,735 --> 00:01:52,572 When I find the monster responsible for shooting my Babsy, 35 00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:56,784 these old tuna cans are going to tear him limb from limb, 36 00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:58,661 eat the very flesh from his bones, 37 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:01,205 then make a soothing broth with his carcass 38 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,332 to use as a base in stews. 39 00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:05,752 Then I'm going to learn how to make a stew. 40 00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:09,046 Look, I totally feel you, and I wish I could help, 41 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:13,009 but I'm taking some me time away from hero-ing. 42 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:16,137 My first time was in the back of my mom's station wagon. 43 00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:18,389 I did it with 20 other people. 44 00:02:18,473 --> 00:02:19,640 I was the only woman. 45 00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:22,018 Mine was on my wedding night. 46 00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,561 My husband's still mad. 47 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,105 But you never forget your first corporate takedown. 48 00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,982 To Ivy. 49 00:02:28,066 --> 00:02:29,442 Aw, thanks. 50 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:32,070 But, you know, it still feels very unresolved. 51 00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:34,322 Like... Like, nothing's changed. 52 00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:35,531 Change? 53 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,449 Honey, we're trying to get paid. 54 00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:39,160 On to more pressing topics, 55 00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:42,497 Lex's birthday party on the moon. 56 00:02:42,622 --> 00:02:46,334 You... Lex as in Lex Luthor or... 57 00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:48,669 He's turning 40 for the 16th time. 58 00:02:48,753 --> 00:02:52,048 Guys, we just cheers-ed to me defeating him. 59 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:55,509 Last year, he rode in on the back of the JFK car 60 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,387 in Jackie's pink suit. 61 00:02:57,512 --> 00:02:58,763 It was so funny. 62 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,517 Wait, wait, wait. With Lex gone, 63 00:03:02,642 --> 00:03:05,853 we now have the ability to create something new. 64 00:03:05,937 --> 00:03:08,981 Like a... Like an all-female LOD. 65 00:03:09,065 --> 00:03:12,693 We could really do some socially conscious evil. 66 00:03:12,819 --> 00:03:13,736 Right? 67 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,780 Aw, you were serious about that? 68 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:20,201 That's why I took the job. To make real change. 69 00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:22,203 Ivy, you know how it works. 70 00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,372 We win, we lose, we go to parties. 71 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,124 It's business. Don't make it so personal. 72 00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,959 Now, in honor of your big day, 73 00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:30,670 which of these sad, flaccid businessmen 74 00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:33,589 do you wanna throw spoiled fruit at? 75 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,722 Ugh, oh. 76 00:03:40,805 --> 00:03:43,516 Is this because I lied about killing Nightwing? 77 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:46,436 See, I had to shoot Batgirl to make up for it. 78 00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:49,063 Now my comeback's double squashed. 79 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:53,443 I have 1,000 "Joker shot Batgirl" T-shirts sitting at the printer. 80 00:03:53,568 --> 00:03:55,485 I'm going to lose my deposit. 81 00:03:55,570 --> 00:03:57,071 Order up. 82 00:04:00,158 --> 00:04:01,325 Oh, Harley. Come on. 83 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:02,910 We both know this is not how I die. 84 00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:05,413 Right, this is gonna be too quick with hyenas. 85 00:04:05,538 --> 00:04:07,498 I'm gonna lose the meat juice. 86 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:13,004 How many times must we do this dance? 87 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,065 No, no, no. I'm just debating the perfect way to kill you 88 00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:17,257 that won't offend my friend who hates killing. 89 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,594 I know killer's block when I see it. 90 00:04:19,719 --> 00:04:22,388 How'd you like me to hook jumper cables up to your 'nads? 91 00:04:22,472 --> 00:04:23,848 Jumper cables? 92 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:27,101 You've seen too many shitty A24 horror movies. 93 00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:29,520 - You're allergic to peanuts, right? - Shellfish. 94 00:04:29,604 --> 00:04:31,731 If you were bad, you would have done it by now. 95 00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:34,275 And if you were good, I'd be in jail. 96 00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:35,860 So which is it, Harley? 97 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,489 Are you good or bad? 98 00:04:39,614 --> 00:04:42,408 Maybe I'm neither. Maybe I'm in the middle. 99 00:04:42,492 --> 00:04:44,786 You know who's in the middle? 100 00:04:44,911 --> 00:04:46,871 Normies. Uggos. 101 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:50,458 That forgettable drip I send my itemized receipts to. 102 00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:51,793 You want vengeance? 103 00:04:51,918 --> 00:04:54,045 Come at me, dawg. 104 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,048 Oh, my business goddess needs me. 105 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,550 Damn. How did she even get the camera to that angle? 106 00:04:59,634 --> 00:05:01,844 Another stall. 107 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,471 Wait. Can I get some trail mix? 108 00:05:03,596 --> 00:05:05,890 My blood sugar is crashing. 109 00:05:09,811 --> 00:05:11,813 Fucking, what the dick? 110 00:05:11,938 --> 00:05:14,107 All these one-percenters and butlers of one-percenters 111 00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:17,652 wouldn't know accountability if it stopped up their golden shitters. 112 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,463 Are we not still happy that you took Lex down? 113 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:22,240 I mean, it's never enough for you moguls. You're insatiable. 114 00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:23,908 I didn't take him down. 115 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,494 He just basically relocated to the moon. 116 00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:30,289 Oh, oh. You know what makes me feel better when I can't destroy my enemies? 117 00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,500 Dry humping in the closet. 118 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,419 What are these bags? 119 00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:36,337 They're from the EWBC lunches. Ugh! 120 00:05:36,421 --> 00:05:38,506 Those business tote-cunts. 121 00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:41,592 Is that a typo? 122 00:05:42,677 --> 00:05:44,303 You know what? I have an idea. 123 00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:46,472 Wanna be my plus-one to a birthday party on the moon? 124 00:05:46,556 --> 00:05:47,991 Do I have time to shave my legs? 125 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,726 Fuck it, yes! Rip out Lex's fillers 126 00:05:49,851 --> 00:05:52,478 and show everyone I am a very decisive revenger, 127 00:05:52,562 --> 00:05:53,855 not a staller. 128 00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:55,815 So, you... Wait, you haven't killed Joker yet? 129 00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:57,692 I'm so sorry to make your thing my thing. 130 00:05:57,775 --> 00:05:59,527 Boss Bitch Level Infinity. 131 00:05:59,652 --> 00:06:00,671 Okay, this one's kind of cute. 132 00:06:00,695 --> 00:06:03,281 No, I know. Let's bring it. 133 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:10,079 The mother box. 134 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:14,375 My favorite means of intergalactic travel and body part. Wink. 135 00:06:14,459 --> 00:06:15,877 Harls, focus. 136 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,254 I can't wait to see those EWBC turncoats' faces 137 00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:21,466 when I fucking destroy that little birthday boy. 138 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:24,177 Ivy? Oh, you've come to your senses. 139 00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:26,763 Yep. That's what I've done. 140 00:06:26,888 --> 00:06:29,891 And you brought your hag. Wonderful. 141 00:06:30,016 --> 00:06:30,725 Talia al Ghul. 142 00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:32,393 We've met countless times. 143 00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:34,312 Smells like... 144 00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:37,899 corporate espionage and Gotham Lady Perfume. 145 00:06:38,024 --> 00:06:40,985 Are we at Lex's b-day party? 146 00:06:41,069 --> 00:06:43,071 You're not a guest. You're luggage. 147 00:06:43,196 --> 00:06:46,699 Everyone knows if you don't kill a hostage in the first 24 days, 148 00:06:46,783 --> 00:06:48,618 it's never gonna happen. 149 00:06:50,036 --> 00:06:52,330 Ooh, good to see you, girl. 150 00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:53,873 I just had my ass done 151 00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:56,375 and if I pop a stitch, I'm out of pocket for touch-ups. 152 00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,753 Love your leash. 153 00:06:58,878 --> 00:07:00,588 Did you copy it from me? 154 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:03,591 Oh. Ooh, Harley, come join the plus-ones. 155 00:07:03,716 --> 00:07:05,343 Ooh, 156 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:07,237 playing a little five-card stud with your wives' purse money? 157 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,906 Well, we do like to stir up trouble 158 00:07:08,930 --> 00:07:10,640 while our ladies talk shop. 159 00:07:10,765 --> 00:07:13,851 You know, being an evil She-EO's plus-one is harder than it looks. 160 00:07:13,935 --> 00:07:15,770 Can't wear socks with loafers anymore. 161 00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:18,606 Hmm. That must be a challenge for those of you with feminine ankles. 162 00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:20,149 Wit. You are funny. 163 00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:22,193 We have been looking for a funny plus-one. 164 00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:26,447 Any of you cucks know where I can take a wiz? 165 00:07:26,572 --> 00:07:28,116 Girlfriend, no. 166 00:07:28,199 --> 00:07:30,094 Guests of guests aren't allowed to use Lex's bathrooms. 167 00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:32,096 You'll need to go next door, which requires finding a valet, 168 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:33,663 and then take a moon buggy, and then... 169 00:07:33,788 --> 00:07:35,248 Yeah, I'll figure it out. 170 00:07:35,331 --> 00:07:36,707 Thanks. 171 00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:38,750 So, now that you've proven to be sound of mind, 172 00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:40,420 I'd love to let you in on my plans 173 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:42,272 for Lazaru and the Hot Springs. 174 00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:45,425 We're taking anti-aging science to the brink of legality. 175 00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:48,970 Edging with the legal system is my love language. 176 00:07:49,053 --> 00:07:50,596 Cheers! 177 00:07:51,723 --> 00:07:54,142 Still waiting on that trail mix. 178 00:07:54,225 --> 00:07:57,520 I'll take baby pretzels at this point, Jesus. 179 00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:00,940 You're lucky I don't feed you to the dark void of space. 180 00:08:07,739 --> 00:08:09,490 Ugh, no ladies room on the moon. 181 00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,450 Fucking figures. 182 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,124 Help me. Harley! 183 00:08:20,168 --> 00:08:21,478 Superman? 184 00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,087 No. No photos. 185 00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:24,922 Okay. Do you know where the bathroom is? 186 00:08:25,006 --> 00:08:27,884 Quick! That button turns off the kryptonite force field. 187 00:08:28,009 --> 00:08:29,886 Uh... I don't wanna get involved. 188 00:08:30,011 --> 00:08:31,763 What? What about the hero code? 189 00:08:31,846 --> 00:08:34,182 Okay, I am a neutral third party these days, hello! 190 00:08:34,307 --> 00:08:35,933 Here for the free drinks and mingling. 191 00:08:36,017 --> 00:08:37,745 Oh, and, of course, to support my bae killing Lex 192 00:08:37,769 --> 00:08:39,996 due to their business, but also personal strifes, you know. 193 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,856 She won't be able to defeat Lex. 194 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,859 He's become too powerful. 195 00:08:47,278 --> 00:08:50,156 Where's that over the hill hosebeast? 196 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,033 Welcome! 197 00:08:52,116 --> 00:08:55,870 Our gracious host, Lex Luthor, has planned a night of treats for his 40th. 198 00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:59,040 We've got poppers, crypto scratch-offs, 199 00:08:59,165 --> 00:09:03,544 and now, a performance by Clayface. 200 00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,713 I planned to join in person, 201 00:09:05,797 --> 00:09:08,383 but those monsters at moon customs denied 202 00:09:08,466 --> 00:09:10,843 my emotional support capybara. 203 00:09:12,887 --> 00:09:15,139 [singing] ♪ Happy birth... ♪ 204 00:09:15,223 --> 00:09:18,142 'Tis I! SuperLex Man. 205 00:09:21,437 --> 00:09:23,106 Okay. 206 00:09:23,231 --> 00:09:27,568 He used the ozone laser to block the sun until I was weak enough. 207 00:09:27,652 --> 00:09:30,696 I'm the most powerful man alive. 208 00:09:30,780 --> 00:09:32,532 Then he took me prisoner, 209 00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:35,284 took my cape, drained my powers... 210 00:09:35,410 --> 00:09:37,745 absorbed him physically and mentally. 211 00:09:37,829 --> 00:09:38,913 and worst of all, 212 00:09:39,038 --> 00:09:40,540 - he has my hair! - I have his hair. 213 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,417 Oh, fuck. Ivy! 214 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,585 Hey, what about me? 215 00:09:44,711 --> 00:09:47,880 ♪ Happy Birthday ♪ 216 00:09:47,964 --> 00:09:50,341 - ♪ To you ♪ - Ivy, how big of you to come. 217 00:09:50,425 --> 00:09:52,677 Sadly, the caterers didn't plan for crashers. 218 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,345 Oh, I'm not here to eat. 219 00:09:54,429 --> 00:09:56,806 I'm here to kill you and then wear your skin as a trophy. 220 00:10:04,105 --> 00:10:07,734 Oh! 221 00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:12,655 How does it feel to be less powerful than me in every way? 222 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,992 You have always underestimated me. 223 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:21,748 I think I estimated you accurately. 224 00:10:21,831 --> 00:10:25,084 Some light compliments, a gorgeous PR team... 225 00:10:25,168 --> 00:10:29,213 - and you became a perfectly ineffective puppet... - Ah! 226 00:10:29,297 --> 00:10:32,967 to warm my seat at the LOD while I built this. 227 00:10:33,092 --> 00:10:35,470 Oh, I... I... I'll show you who's a puppet. 228 00:10:51,027 --> 00:10:52,570 This is why I don't do private gigs. 229 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:55,907 I should have learned my lesson at Cher's Easter brunch. 230 00:10:55,990 --> 00:10:58,117 I saw Tony Robbins do this in Miami. 231 00:10:58,201 --> 00:11:00,369 Then he ate my gooch on the sundeck for three hours. 232 00:11:00,495 --> 00:11:01,662 Ugh! 233 00:11:01,788 --> 00:11:03,498 Oh, you think this is a party trick? 234 00:11:03,623 --> 00:11:06,042 Wake up! Don't you see how dangerous he is? 235 00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:08,169 Fighting Lex at his own party? 236 00:11:08,294 --> 00:11:09,545 Such a bad look. 237 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:12,340 Powerful businesswomen take an L and move on. 238 00:11:12,423 --> 00:11:14,801 I thought you would understand that from my mentoring. 239 00:11:14,884 --> 00:11:17,845 Lose my number and my real number. 240 00:11:20,056 --> 00:11:22,809 Screw this. I don't need friends. 241 00:11:22,892 --> 00:11:25,478 I... I'm a powerful businesswoman. 242 00:11:27,105 --> 00:11:31,401 Lady trees, socially conscious evil, splashy words. 243 00:11:31,526 --> 00:11:34,529 But ultimately, you accomplish nothing. 244 00:11:37,323 --> 00:11:39,450 Nobody pins Ivy in the corner. 245 00:11:46,916 --> 00:11:48,876 I get better workouts digesting dairy. 246 00:11:56,718 --> 00:11:58,720 This is so embarrassing. 247 00:11:58,845 --> 00:12:00,805 I just feel like nobody... 248 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,682 Nobody takes me seriously. 249 00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:06,060 It... It's almost like you can't change the system from the inside. 250 00:12:06,185 --> 00:12:07,687 We both tried and look what happened. 251 00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:11,023 Wow, you really went through it with the plus-ones, huh? 252 00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:12,608 I actually meant the Bat family. 253 00:12:12,734 --> 00:12:13,901 Screw those narcs. 254 00:12:14,026 --> 00:12:15,903 I mean, you work so hard. 255 00:12:15,987 --> 00:12:19,741 I was basically the Bat family's hot stepmom no one trusted. 256 00:12:19,824 --> 00:12:21,200 Well, that's bullshit. 257 00:12:21,284 --> 00:12:22,845 And by the way, you'd be the hottest stepmom. 258 00:12:22,869 --> 00:12:25,538 Plus, you and I both know it's the kids you can't trust. 259 00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:28,166 I wonder if Princess Ladyfingers still exists, 260 00:12:28,249 --> 00:12:30,251 since, you know, we stopped the apocalypse, 261 00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:32,420 and, like, changed the whole course of history. 262 00:12:32,545 --> 00:12:33,963 We did do that, didn't we? 263 00:12:34,088 --> 00:12:35,008 You know what? Fuck it. 264 00:12:35,089 --> 00:12:36,841 We are so powerful. 265 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,760 Even if none of these assholes can see it, 266 00:12:38,843 --> 00:12:40,344 we're gonna show them anyway. 267 00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:42,548 Oh, I miss seeing that destructive glimmer in your eye. 268 00:12:42,597 --> 00:12:43,765 Let's do this! 269 00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:45,975 For our daughter, who may or may not exist 270 00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,518 and may or may not try to kill us. 271 00:12:47,602 --> 00:12:48,770 But wait, what are we doing? 272 00:12:48,895 --> 00:12:51,105 We're gonna make the world a better place. 273 00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:53,941 Now, let's go find that dumb ozone laser. 274 00:13:02,116 --> 00:13:04,577 Gotcha, bitch. Gotcha, bitch. 275 00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:07,997 Jeffrey, you are a trip. 276 00:13:08,122 --> 00:13:10,166 It's funny 'cause I don't even eat cake. 277 00:13:10,291 --> 00:13:12,502 Seriously, someone take this... 278 00:13:19,884 --> 00:13:22,053 Every woman in STEM knows 279 00:13:22,136 --> 00:13:24,138 that lasers have three functions. 280 00:13:24,222 --> 00:13:27,850 The task they're designed for, removing hair follicles, 281 00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,894 and blowing shit the fuck up. 282 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,289 And that's the function we'll be using. 283 00:13:32,313 --> 00:13:34,607 Ugh, God, Batgirl will be so great at this 284 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:35,900 breaking into the laser thing. 285 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,610 She loves codes and typing and shit. 286 00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:38,653 Too bad she's mad at me. 287 00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:40,071 Shit. 288 00:13:40,154 --> 00:13:41,882 All right. Lex is following us. Call Batgirl. 289 00:13:41,906 --> 00:13:43,449 No, no, no. Listen. 290 00:13:43,533 --> 00:13:45,511 She needs to focus on her recovery, okay? 291 00:13:45,535 --> 00:13:47,471 Besides, I can't feed into this computer obsession. 292 00:13:47,495 --> 00:13:48,895 She might become one of those people 293 00:13:48,955 --> 00:13:50,581 who gets addicted to her online life, 294 00:13:50,665 --> 00:13:53,083 and then forgets to eat anything but salt and vinegar chips 295 00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:54,377 and dies of scurvy. 296 00:14:05,805 --> 00:14:06,889 Fucking call her, Harls. 297 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,850 Fine. Ugh! 298 00:14:10,351 --> 00:14:12,520 It's me, Harley. Don't hang up. 299 00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:14,331 I'm sure you're busy eating powdered applesauce glaring at LeAnne, but... 300 00:14:14,355 --> 00:14:16,190 Stop treating me like a victim. 301 00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:18,067 I get enough from my dad, my doctors, 302 00:14:18,192 --> 00:14:21,237 the old lady who comes in here and thinks I'm her dead husband. 303 00:14:21,362 --> 00:14:23,781 Uh... Didn't know you felt that way. But, uh, yeah. 304 00:14:23,865 --> 00:14:25,968 I'm calling you for serious world saving help. 305 00:14:25,992 --> 00:14:27,352 Ivy's here. You're on speakerphone. 306 00:14:27,410 --> 00:14:29,203 Hi, Ivy. 307 00:14:29,287 --> 00:14:33,541 Hi. Um, so can you, like, hack into a moon buggy? 308 00:14:33,666 --> 00:14:35,543 Easy. Hit me with the model number. 309 00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:41,132 It's printed above the left bumper. 310 00:14:41,215 --> 00:14:42,550 M as in motherfucker, 311 00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:43,718 B as in bitch, 312 00:14:43,843 --> 00:14:45,678 dash, 0, 5, 6, 7. 313 00:14:45,762 --> 00:14:48,389 And, listen. Take it slow. If you can't do it... 314 00:14:48,514 --> 00:14:49,390 I'm in. 315 00:14:51,309 --> 00:14:53,061 My buggy's busted. 316 00:14:53,144 --> 00:14:55,304 The destination has been rerouted. 317 00:15:09,327 --> 00:15:11,245 I demand to talk to whoever's in charge. 318 00:15:11,329 --> 00:15:12,580 Perhaps your male superior? 319 00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:16,375 This is a one-woman operation, asshole. 320 00:15:18,086 --> 00:15:19,754 Batgirl did it! We're in. 321 00:15:19,879 --> 00:15:21,672 What... What are you doing? 322 00:15:21,756 --> 00:15:25,051 Mowing down tech, oil, and cosmetic pharmaceutical companies 323 00:15:25,134 --> 00:15:27,512 in the name of socially conscious evil. 324 00:15:27,595 --> 00:15:30,681 Oh, I love the plan, very emotionally cool, obvs, 325 00:15:30,765 --> 00:15:32,975 but maybe first, let's evacuate the buildings, huh? 326 00:15:33,101 --> 00:15:35,186 I mean, do we really have to, or... 327 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:37,438 I just remotely pulled all the fire alarms in Gotham. 328 00:15:37,563 --> 00:15:39,440 Okay, now you're just showing off. 329 00:15:39,565 --> 00:15:42,068 Who we gonna blow up first, hot stuff? 330 00:15:42,151 --> 00:15:44,445 Let's rain fire on EWBC! 331 00:15:49,951 --> 00:15:52,870 Veronica Cale's company, boom! 332 00:15:52,954 --> 00:15:55,790 Talia's Wayne shit, boom! 333 00:15:55,873 --> 00:16:00,294 That overpriced oyster place that isn't even good, boom! 334 00:16:01,963 --> 00:16:03,214 What the zuck? 335 00:16:07,719 --> 00:16:09,011 What the fuck? 336 00:16:11,389 --> 00:16:12,950 Evacuate the building immediately. 337 00:16:12,974 --> 00:16:14,684 Drats! Bankrupt again. 338 00:16:14,809 --> 00:16:18,646 Curse you, White Collar Wine. 339 00:16:25,987 --> 00:16:28,823 The world needs Batman again. 340 00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:33,161 Do it. Call Judge Chase. 341 00:16:33,286 --> 00:16:36,831 Tell him his stepdaughter got an internship at WayneTone Records. 342 00:16:36,956 --> 00:16:39,792 I'll have you out by lunch. 343 00:16:43,046 --> 00:16:44,964 I love when we're in sync like this. 344 00:16:45,048 --> 00:16:46,549 Yeah, like back in '53, 345 00:16:46,674 --> 00:16:49,761 when Dizzy Gillespie horned it up with Charles Mingus. 346 00:16:49,844 --> 00:16:52,805 Turn that thing off. You're gonna break the moon. 347 00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:56,684 Yeah, and for my motherfucking encore, 348 00:16:56,809 --> 00:16:58,770 the Legion of Kaboom! 349 00:16:58,853 --> 00:17:00,063 What? Ivy, are you sure? 350 00:17:00,188 --> 00:17:01,898 What about everything you've built? 351 00:17:02,023 --> 00:17:03,900 I didn't build anything, Harls. 352 00:17:04,025 --> 00:17:06,777 I was just part of the problem. 353 00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:17,029 Evacuate the building immediately. 354 00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:21,542 So do we work from home now? Or... 355 00:17:21,626 --> 00:17:22,709 Gotcha, bitch. 356 00:17:22,794 --> 00:17:24,545 Hey, this is kind of weird for me to say, 357 00:17:24,629 --> 00:17:27,632 but your occasional willingness to help people 358 00:17:27,715 --> 00:17:31,052 even while blowing the shit out of them is inspiring to me. 359 00:17:31,135 --> 00:17:34,013 Like, tote bag level-inspiring. 360 00:17:34,097 --> 00:17:35,556 Aw, thanks, Ive. 361 00:17:35,681 --> 00:17:37,284 But it's a real pain in the ass being in the middle. 362 00:17:37,308 --> 00:17:39,268 Baby, you're not in the middle. 363 00:17:39,394 --> 00:17:40,728 You're on the outside. 364 00:17:40,812 --> 00:17:42,688 And that's what I love about you. I mean, 365 00:17:42,772 --> 00:17:45,566 it's your... It's your superpower. 366 00:17:52,532 --> 00:17:54,784 Steppenwolf! You came? 367 00:17:54,909 --> 00:17:56,369 No RSVP, no problem. 368 00:17:56,452 --> 00:17:58,204 The caterers planned for crashers. 369 00:17:59,372 --> 00:18:00,540 Thanks, Steppy. 370 00:18:01,249 --> 00:18:02,792 No, wait! 371 00:18:02,917 --> 00:18:05,211 I thought we were business bros. 372 00:18:08,589 --> 00:18:09,882 We gotta get out of here. 373 00:18:15,763 --> 00:18:19,267 Oh, shit. Hold my leash. 374 00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:21,110 What... What happened? You forget your purse? 375 00:18:25,565 --> 00:18:29,193 You gonna tell all the hoes in the Justice League a normie saved you? 376 00:18:29,277 --> 00:18:31,112 I always knew you were a hero. 377 00:18:31,237 --> 00:18:32,780 I'm better than a hero. 378 00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:34,741 I'm Harley fucking Quinn. 379 00:18:50,882 --> 00:18:53,676 I started a Fortune 500 company just to commit a crime 380 00:18:53,801 --> 00:18:55,803 worthy enough to land me in Blackgate. 381 00:18:55,928 --> 00:18:58,681 The food is good, but not that good. 382 00:18:58,765 --> 00:19:00,433 Oh. No. 383 00:19:00,516 --> 00:19:02,828 While I'm intrigued to dine at Dominique Crenn's commissary pop-up, 384 00:19:02,852 --> 00:19:05,688 - I actually did it all to be reunited with... - 385 00:19:05,813 --> 00:19:07,148 Master Bruce. 386 00:19:07,273 --> 00:19:09,442 Hey, Alfred. Got my own ride. Thanks. 387 00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:11,819 I'll see you at the Manor. 388 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:19,786 Oh, shitstick. Did I forget my own birthday again? 389 00:19:19,869 --> 00:19:22,246 What? 390 00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:24,582 You and me are gonna have some fun... 391 00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:27,210 A24 horror movie style. 392 00:19:27,293 --> 00:19:28,812 My daughter turned me on to those films. 393 00:19:28,836 --> 00:19:30,588 I don't get them, but I do understand 394 00:19:30,671 --> 00:19:34,050 what jumper cables can do to a man's 'nads. 395 00:19:34,175 --> 00:19:36,135 Someone just shoot me already. 396 00:19:36,219 --> 00:19:40,014 Or at least take me to the printers to pick up my T-shirts. 397 00:19:52,443 --> 00:19:53,903 God, longest pee ever. 398 00:19:54,028 --> 00:19:57,073 I just had to pay my respects to the GOAT. 399 00:19:57,198 --> 00:20:00,243 Hey, so what's next for a couple of outsiders like us? 400 00:20:00,368 --> 00:20:01,411 I don't know. 401 00:20:01,536 --> 00:20:02,776 But, we're gonna do it together. 402 00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:03,830 Right, peanut? 403 00:20:05,248 --> 00:20:07,166 Wow, that is messed up. 404 00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:08,459 Oh, come on. 405 00:20:08,543 --> 00:20:10,086 My hands weren't even in her pants yet. 406 00:20:10,211 --> 00:20:13,172 I was talking about the moon. 407 00:20:13,256 --> 00:20:15,842 Thanks for your help up there, by the way. You did good. 408 00:20:15,925 --> 00:20:18,553 I wouldn't be here without you, you little nerd. 409 00:20:18,678 --> 00:20:21,097 Well, I'm glad you called me. 410 00:20:21,222 --> 00:20:24,225 It felt good to do something that matters with people I care about. 411 00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:28,229 Even if you did end up blowing up half of Gotham with a laser, you B. 412 00:20:28,312 --> 00:20:29,564 Fuck the rules. 413 00:20:29,647 --> 00:20:31,357 F the rules indeed, 414 00:20:31,441 --> 00:20:34,694 That's why I can't stay in the Bat family. 415 00:20:34,777 --> 00:20:35,737 I quit, too. 416 00:20:35,862 --> 00:20:37,113 Shit, yeah, dog! 417 00:20:37,238 --> 00:20:39,240 Wait. 418 00:20:39,323 --> 00:20:42,177 So is that why you called us out here to the cemetery in the middle of the night? 419 00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:43,911 I thought you guys invited me here. 420 00:20:43,995 --> 00:20:47,415 Mm, sorry for the late-night theatrics, ladies. 421 00:20:47,540 --> 00:20:51,461 Oh, wow. I mean, hey. It's you. 422 00:20:51,586 --> 00:20:55,048 There you are. Where you been, girl? 423 00:20:55,131 --> 00:20:56,340 Yikes. 424 00:20:56,424 --> 00:20:58,217 I'm all right. I'm good. 425 00:20:58,301 --> 00:21:02,096 I... I am standing on a casket, which is, you know, not awesome. 426 00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:04,932 But I was just doing a little light grave robbing 427 00:21:05,058 --> 00:21:09,020 when I stumbled on some missing booty I thought my interest you. 428 00:21:09,103 --> 00:21:10,688 Someone dug up Nightwing. 429 00:21:10,772 --> 00:21:13,566 And they left the custom casket? 430 00:21:13,649 --> 00:21:15,085 That was very expensive. 431 00:21:15,109 --> 00:21:18,613 Selina, I'm sorry. Are you looking out for us? 432 00:21:18,696 --> 00:21:21,949 Aren't you supposed to be on some art heist in Monaco? 433 00:21:22,075 --> 00:21:26,287 Maybe the call of the Gotham City sirens was just too seductive. 434 00:21:26,412 --> 00:21:27,789 Pinch my fucking nips! 435 00:21:27,914 --> 00:21:30,291 The Gotham City Sirens is a good nickname for us. 436 00:21:30,416 --> 00:21:33,920 Well, I... I don't know if it's, like, better than the Cobb squad, 437 00:21:34,003 --> 00:21:35,773 but, yeah, you know... 438 00:21:35,797 --> 00:21:38,966 Um, what about the birds of prey? 439 00:21:39,050 --> 00:21:40,968 - No. - I'm not a bird, you know what I mean? 440 00:21:41,052 --> 00:21:42,321 - There's no flying, really. - None of us are even bird-themed. 441 00:21:42,345 --> 00:21:44,097 Well, that settles what's next. 442 00:21:44,180 --> 00:21:47,975 The Gotham City Sirens are gonna find out who stole Nightwing. 443 00:21:48,101 --> 00:21:50,269 I mean, we'll obviously take the weekend off. 444 00:21:50,353 --> 00:21:51,705 What's the worst thing that can happen? 445 00:21:51,729 --> 00:21:52,980 He's already dead. 446 00:21:55,233 --> 00:21:56,418 It's not that funny. 447 00:21:58,277 --> 00:22:00,530 Now, Damian, don't be alarmed. 448 00:22:00,613 --> 00:22:03,533 Your friend will be a little different, but better. 449 00:22:09,997 --> 00:22:13,209 Where the fuck is Harley Quinn?