1 00:00:11,791 --> 00:00:14,195 - How can you say that? - Pretty easily. 2 00:00:14,228 --> 00:00:16,132 I push the air out of my throat into words. 3 00:00:16,165 --> 00:00:17,669 Is that how talking works? 4 00:00:17,702 --> 00:00:20,174 Hello. 5 00:00:20,207 --> 00:00:22,311 Huh, it is just pushing out air! 6 00:00:22,344 --> 00:00:24,482 All I'm saying is, wearing that suit looks like 7 00:00:24,516 --> 00:00:26,520 you're always wearing a little costume to work. 8 00:00:26,553 --> 00:00:27,823 - Little? - Yeah. 9 00:00:27,856 --> 00:00:29,760 Like those kids that wear capes to school. 10 00:00:29,793 --> 00:00:31,229 Do you know how much this costs? 11 00:00:31,262 --> 00:00:32,431 Ugh. I mean, I feel like 12 00:00:32,464 --> 00:00:33,877 I'm paying for it with this conversation. 13 00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,404 Okay, you know what? Meeting over! 14 00:00:35,437 --> 00:00:37,275 Or meeting not over, 15 00:00:37,308 --> 00:00:38,854 since the meeting isn't even about that. 16 00:00:38,878 --> 00:00:41,383 - It is now! - It is not. 17 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,561 This is the... 18 00:00:42,585 --> 00:00:44,222 The party house that I suggested we buy? 19 00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:45,558 Finally! 20 00:00:45,591 --> 00:00:47,663 No, and please don't guess again. 21 00:00:47,696 --> 00:00:50,234 This is the English museum that just hired us. 22 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,706 This artifact, one of the 13 Golden Plaques, 23 00:00:52,739 --> 00:00:54,710 is being transferred between museums. 24 00:00:54,743 --> 00:00:56,313 We've been hired to protect it. 25 00:00:56,346 --> 00:00:57,683 From who, highwaymen? 26 00:00:57,716 --> 00:00:59,428 There have been some museum thefts recently, 27 00:00:59,452 --> 00:01:01,691 so this is an easy chance for us to be the good guys 28 00:01:01,724 --> 00:01:03,327 and get paid doing it. 29 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,230 And perfect timing to use the accent 30 00:01:05,263 --> 00:01:06,499 Zara's helped me work on. 31 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:07,712 Hold on, is that why you've been 32 00:01:07,736 --> 00:01:09,448 shouting things at me in a bad English accent? 33 00:01:09,472 --> 00:01:10,742 "Bad"? 34 00:01:10,775 --> 00:01:12,253 Cup of tea, guvnor! 35 00:01:12,277 --> 00:01:13,648 Bit of a sticky wicket! 36 00:01:13,681 --> 00:01:15,217 Fish and chips and all that. 37 00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:17,355 Offensive. You're lucky I like you. 38 00:01:17,388 --> 00:01:18,734 Otherwise, that would be the last air 39 00:01:18,758 --> 00:01:19,836 your throat ever pushed out. 40 00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:21,329 It doesn't count as offensive 41 00:01:21,362 --> 00:01:22,775 when it's from a really white country. 42 00:01:22,799 --> 00:01:25,638 You... don't get to decide that. 43 00:01:25,671 --> 00:01:27,283 What if I talked like this 44 00:01:27,307 --> 00:01:30,180 'bout burgers and fries on the farm with Uncle Cletus? 45 00:01:30,213 --> 00:01:31,751 Wait, you know Pam's Uncle Cletus? 46 00:01:31,784 --> 00:01:33,320 I'm from Wisconsin. 47 00:01:33,353 --> 00:01:34,723 But he does sound like that. 48 00:01:34,756 --> 00:01:36,627 Massive "anyway," it doesn't matter, 49 00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:37,696 because Pam's not going. 50 00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:39,265 What? Why not? 51 00:01:39,298 --> 00:01:41,369 Because you have to stay here to do the 3490s. 52 00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:43,473 Ha! Pam has to clean the bathrooms. 53 00:01:43,507 --> 00:01:45,879 No, they're assessment forms. 54 00:01:45,912 --> 00:01:48,283 For the new employees. 55 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:49,887 Your HR duties? 56 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,291 Because you said you could balance both jobs? 57 00:01:52,324 --> 00:01:53,661 Damn it. I knew my own words 58 00:01:53,694 --> 00:01:54,730 would be used against me. 59 00:01:54,763 --> 00:01:56,232 So I'll be going. 60 00:01:56,265 --> 00:01:57,435 Hmm. Sure you're ready, Lana? 61 00:01:57,468 --> 00:01:58,580 You've been out of the field 62 00:01:58,604 --> 00:01:59,873 for, what, three whole minutes? 63 00:01:59,906 --> 00:02:01,811 Yes, and also, shut up. 64 00:02:01,844 --> 00:02:04,583 We don't need a chaperone, and I speak for Zara too. 65 00:02:04,616 --> 00:02:06,419 Firstly, I wouldn't even let you speak for me 66 00:02:06,452 --> 00:02:07,689 if I had a stroke and you were 67 00:02:07,722 --> 00:02:09,760 the only person who could translate my blinks. 68 00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:10,929 Good call. 69 00:02:10,962 --> 00:02:12,566 He wouldn't get your accent right. 70 00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:14,435 Secondly, I don't mind Ms. Kane going. 71 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,672 I thrive being in the field 72 00:02:15,705 --> 00:02:17,341 with other strong female agents. 73 00:02:17,374 --> 00:02:18,845 Wow, that self-adulation 74 00:02:18,878 --> 00:02:20,791 just blended right in with the sucking up, didn't it? 75 00:02:20,815 --> 00:02:22,828 Sort of how your chlamydia blends in with your syphilis. 76 00:02:22,852 --> 00:02:24,355 Look, I'll just be coming along 77 00:02:24,388 --> 00:02:26,335 to show the museum how seriously we take this job. 78 00:02:26,359 --> 00:02:27,437 And because 79 00:02:27,461 --> 00:02:29,265 the museum curator is on the board 80 00:02:29,298 --> 00:02:32,238 of that fancy private school you want AJ to get into! 81 00:02:32,271 --> 00:02:33,741 Thank you, Cheryl. 82 00:02:33,774 --> 00:02:36,312 You're welcome! 83 00:03:17,461 --> 00:03:18,698 Jesus, all of this 84 00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,434 for an artifact I could fit into my pants? 85 00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,271 Why is that your unit of measurement? 86 00:03:22,304 --> 00:03:23,741 Better than the metric system. 87 00:03:23,774 --> 00:03:26,246 The museum takes artifact protection very seriously, 88 00:03:26,279 --> 00:03:27,849 hence us being paid to be here. 89 00:03:27,882 --> 00:03:30,454 Apparently they're losing a ton of stuff in transit because... 90 00:03:30,487 --> 00:03:31,791 Huh, it doesn't say why. 91 00:03:31,824 --> 00:03:33,260 But anyway, that's why we're here. 92 00:03:33,293 --> 00:03:34,696 She said, not finding it suspicious 93 00:03:34,729 --> 00:03:35,969 that a government-funded museum 94 00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:37,636 is keeping secrets about the artifacts. 95 00:03:37,669 --> 00:03:39,673 I assure you this museum transfer 96 00:03:39,706 --> 00:03:41,744 is all very legitimate. 97 00:03:41,777 --> 00:03:43,881 I'm Clarissa, the museum curator. 98 00:03:43,914 --> 00:03:45,317 I'll be driving the truck 99 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,696 to accompany you with the artifact, 100 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,925 and I'll be right with you. 101 00:03:48,958 --> 00:03:50,360 What a snob. 102 00:03:50,393 --> 00:03:51,897 Did you see the way she spoke to me? 103 00:03:51,930 --> 00:03:53,668 She was hitting that posh accent so hard 104 00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:54,703 it should file charges. 105 00:03:54,736 --> 00:03:56,005 Yeah, I feel like that's not 106 00:03:56,038 --> 00:03:57,809 what just happened in those three sentences. 107 00:03:57,842 --> 00:03:59,412 And aren't your accents the same? 108 00:03:59,445 --> 00:04:00,915 They sound exactly the same, right? 109 00:04:00,948 --> 00:04:02,652 No, they don't! 110 00:04:02,685 --> 00:04:03,988 We shouldn't bring her. 111 00:04:04,021 --> 00:04:05,625 She'll mess up everything, 112 00:04:05,658 --> 00:04:07,662 then blame it on her taxes being too high. 113 00:04:07,695 --> 00:04:08,940 I don't know, take off her glasses 114 00:04:08,964 --> 00:04:10,568 and she's a British eight, 115 00:04:10,601 --> 00:04:13,406 which is an American five but a Canadian ten. 116 00:04:13,439 --> 00:04:15,512 She knows about the artifact, which is an asset, 117 00:04:15,545 --> 00:04:17,616 and she'll see up close how good we are at our jobs. 118 00:04:17,649 --> 00:04:19,318 Since parents who do well have 119 00:04:19,351 --> 00:04:20,788 Abernathy kids who do even better! 120 00:04:20,821 --> 00:04:23,561 Oh, I'm grateful for your help, Lana. 121 00:04:23,594 --> 00:04:26,466 And the Abernathy board will love this. 122 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:28,003 Well, that's a nice bonus 123 00:04:28,036 --> 00:04:29,973 but, of course, not why we do this. 124 00:04:30,006 --> 00:04:31,944 I don't love this side of you. 125 00:04:31,977 --> 00:04:35,685 The Golden Plaques have been on museum display for years. 126 00:04:35,718 --> 00:04:40,460 But this one being transported is believed to be cursed. 127 00:04:40,493 --> 00:04:41,897 Curse? What kind of curse? 128 00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:43,366 Probably the dumb, made-up kind 129 00:04:43,399 --> 00:04:45,037 since curses are dumb and made up. 130 00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:46,674 Don't make fun of a curse, Archer. 131 00:04:46,707 --> 00:04:49,412 Oh, my God, Zara believes in curses! 132 00:04:49,445 --> 00:04:51,517 Wait, you hired us to protect you from a curse? 133 00:04:51,550 --> 00:04:53,119 No, no. 134 00:04:53,152 --> 00:04:56,059 But the plaque is not meant to be touched with bare hands. 135 00:04:56,092 --> 00:04:57,428 Classic curse rules. 136 00:04:57,461 --> 00:04:58,907 I can't believe you made fun of my suits 137 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:00,835 when this is way stupider. 138 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,608 The plaque is being moved to off-site storage, 139 00:05:03,641 --> 00:05:07,515 and items have been stolen from museums recently, 140 00:05:07,548 --> 00:05:11,122 likely the work of a smuggler, Ibadan Peters. 141 00:05:11,155 --> 00:05:14,095 So cursed or not, we want to keep it in safe hands. 142 00:05:14,128 --> 00:05:15,932 I want it on record I don't like curses. 143 00:05:15,965 --> 00:05:17,569 Or ghosts. Or hoodoo. 144 00:05:17,602 --> 00:05:19,907 Oh, God, you're one of those. 145 00:05:19,940 --> 00:05:21,877 Such a Capricorn thing to say. 146 00:05:21,910 --> 00:05:25,685 Ugh, you guys are making a great team. 147 00:05:25,718 --> 00:05:27,522 Starting the old HR duties again 148 00:05:27,555 --> 00:05:28,824 is kinda getting me excited. 149 00:05:28,857 --> 00:05:30,628 You mean the head of HR job 150 00:05:30,661 --> 00:05:33,066 that you were supposed to be doing this whole time? 151 00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:35,538 Come on, who even knows who's supposed to do what? 152 00:05:35,571 --> 00:05:37,474 You, as the head of HR! 153 00:05:37,508 --> 00:05:40,080 Here are the employees to assess. 154 00:05:40,113 --> 00:05:42,919 Ah, shitsnacks. When did we get so many? 155 00:05:42,952 --> 00:05:45,725 Again, something you should know! 156 00:05:45,758 --> 00:05:47,596 If it helps, I did my own personal assessment 157 00:05:47,629 --> 00:05:50,501 based on who'd be most useful in an apocalypse. 158 00:05:50,534 --> 00:05:52,606 - They'd all be food. - Great start! 159 00:05:52,639 --> 00:05:54,442 Everybody gets five points for being edible. 160 00:05:54,475 --> 00:05:56,412 It's not about free points. 161 00:05:56,445 --> 00:05:57,949 All the employees deserve a chance 162 00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,094 to improve their performance, 163 00:05:59,118 --> 00:06:01,089 so you need to assess them honestly. 164 00:06:01,122 --> 00:06:03,193 Okay, well, Cyril gets an F. 165 00:06:03,226 --> 00:06:04,930 Oh, my God, that's how I marked him! 166 00:06:04,963 --> 00:06:07,535 F, for food. 167 00:06:13,446 --> 00:06:15,618 Think about it: if I said I was done drinking, 168 00:06:15,651 --> 00:06:17,054 then started drinking a week later, 169 00:06:17,087 --> 00:06:18,591 what would that make me? 170 00:06:18,624 --> 00:06:19,869 A more functioning alcoholic? 171 00:06:19,893 --> 00:06:22,131 That's right, a hypocrite. 172 00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:23,601 That's what you are, Lana. 173 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:24,945 Could you not say that next to the woman 174 00:06:24,969 --> 00:06:26,649 who could get our daughter into one of America's 175 00:06:26,673 --> 00:06:28,143 - top prep schools? - Fine. 176 00:06:28,176 --> 00:06:30,848 I can talk about Miss Zara "Anything for the Mission" 177 00:06:30,881 --> 00:06:32,519 Whatever-Her-Last-Name-Is. 178 00:06:32,552 --> 00:06:34,723 Why start that kind of insult if you don't know 179 00:06:34,756 --> 00:06:36,092 - my last name? - I don't know. 180 00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:37,829 Why are you so afraid of a fake curse? 181 00:06:37,862 --> 00:06:39,633 We'll see who's laughing 182 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:40,802 when you cough up blood. 183 00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:42,739 Uh, pretty sure it will still be me. 184 00:06:42,772 --> 00:06:43,975 Wait, can you laugh 185 00:06:44,008 --> 00:06:45,186 and cough up blood at the same time? 186 00:06:45,210 --> 00:06:47,615 You know, many of the staff members 187 00:06:47,648 --> 00:06:49,519 at the museum believe in the curse. 188 00:06:49,552 --> 00:06:51,022 In the same way this country believes 189 00:06:51,055 --> 00:06:52,959 it was part of winning World War II? 190 00:06:52,992 --> 00:06:54,061 Archer. 191 00:06:54,094 --> 00:06:55,965 Actually, I find it refreshing 192 00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:58,470 to meet someone who isn't afraid of superstitions 193 00:06:58,504 --> 00:07:00,073 and fantasies. 194 00:07:00,106 --> 00:07:02,244 Oh, I'm not afraid of much, but that doesn't mean 195 00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:04,783 I don't believe in other kinds of fantasies. 196 00:07:04,816 --> 00:07:06,620 - Archer! - I mean, truck sex isn't 197 00:07:06,653 --> 00:07:08,533 really one of them, but if the windows are tinted, 198 00:07:08,557 --> 00:07:10,027 I don't mind, mm, you know... 199 00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:11,663 Jesus, Archer, shut up! 200 00:07:11,696 --> 00:07:13,042 Someone is on the roof of the truck. 201 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,836 There are highwaymen! 202 00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,148 No, it must be the smuggler! 203 00:07:16,172 --> 00:07:17,776 But I can't stop the truck. 204 00:07:17,809 --> 00:07:19,178 We're right along the cliff's edge. 205 00:07:19,211 --> 00:07:21,482 Zara, let's get onto the truck. 206 00:07:24,556 --> 00:07:26,527 Good lord, that was incredible! 207 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:27,771 Did you see what they just did? 208 00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:30,167 Okay, take it easy. It was fine. 209 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,541 Incredible would be climbing out of this non-tinted window 210 00:07:33,574 --> 00:07:34,943 and onto the top of the truck. 211 00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:37,081 So are you going to... 212 00:07:37,114 --> 00:07:38,951 Well, yeah. I guess I have to now. 213 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:46,567 This does not belong in a museum. 214 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,635 Whoa! 215 00:07:49,572 --> 00:07:51,586 Really thinking this route might not have been worth it. 216 00:07:51,610 --> 00:07:53,155 - Oi! - Oh. Hey there, little... 217 00:07:54,549 --> 00:07:56,085 Oh, come on. 218 00:07:56,118 --> 00:07:58,022 I just climbed all the way up there. 219 00:07:58,055 --> 00:07:59,860 And how is that little kid so strong? 220 00:07:59,893 --> 00:08:01,295 Good job, Half-Pint. 221 00:08:01,328 --> 00:08:02,632 Quick, grab the kid! 222 00:08:02,665 --> 00:08:03,934 Wait, we can't fight a kid. 223 00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:05,137 Then get the plaque. 224 00:08:05,170 --> 00:08:07,074 So are you agreeing or... 225 00:08:08,677 --> 00:08:10,147 Could she drive a little smoother? 226 00:08:10,180 --> 00:08:11,282 It's not her fault. 227 00:08:11,315 --> 00:08:12,619 It's the wrong side of the road. 228 00:08:12,652 --> 00:08:14,556 Not for her! 229 00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:21,202 U, yeah, not fighting him. 230 00:08:24,208 --> 00:08:25,978 Does this even count as a fight? 231 00:08:26,011 --> 00:08:27,081 Can you not remember 232 00:08:27,114 --> 00:08:28,784 from your field work last month? 233 00:08:28,817 --> 00:08:30,655 Is now the time? 234 00:08:30,688 --> 00:08:32,825 I don't know, Lana. It might be. 235 00:08:35,363 --> 00:08:36,867 Wait, wait, wait! You can't touch it. 236 00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:38,336 For the last time, curses aren't... 237 00:08:39,939 --> 00:08:41,910 Ow! What the hell just happened? 238 00:08:41,943 --> 00:08:43,780 Was this kid crouching? Who does that? 239 00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:58,076 I really don't think bolas are supposed to work like that. 240 00:08:58,109 --> 00:09:00,180 What the hell kind of smuggler was that? 241 00:09:00,213 --> 00:09:01,358 Did he dislocate your shoulder? 242 00:09:01,382 --> 00:09:02,351 No! 243 00:09:02,384 --> 00:09:03,353 Was it the curse? 244 00:09:03,386 --> 00:09:04,856 Again, no. 245 00:09:06,158 --> 00:09:08,028 It was the child. 246 00:09:13,807 --> 00:09:15,812 Oh, this is so exciting! 247 00:09:15,845 --> 00:09:18,984 A truck fight while I was driving! 248 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,855 That is one word for what you were doing. 249 00:09:20,888 --> 00:09:22,792 I feel so powerful. 250 00:09:22,825 --> 00:09:26,365 This might be the first time I've ever felt alive. 251 00:09:26,398 --> 00:09:29,171 Museum curation and being on a children's school board 252 00:09:29,204 --> 00:09:30,808 isn't as glamorous as you might think. 253 00:09:30,841 --> 00:09:32,779 Luckily, the plaque is still in safe hands 254 00:09:32,812 --> 00:09:34,649 or safe pants. 255 00:09:34,682 --> 00:09:35,952 You're proud you put 256 00:09:35,985 --> 00:09:37,922 a centuries-old cursed artifact in your pants? 257 00:09:37,955 --> 00:09:39,191 I'm not not proud. 258 00:09:39,224 --> 00:09:41,329 About that bad guy, Peters doesn't seem 259 00:09:41,362 --> 00:09:42,732 to fit the classic profile. 260 00:09:42,765 --> 00:09:44,201 And the kid was weird, right? 261 00:09:44,234 --> 00:09:46,405 I know! Who has a child sidekick? 262 00:09:46,438 --> 00:09:47,709 And where can I get one? 263 00:09:47,742 --> 00:09:49,813 - AJ! - No. 264 00:09:49,846 --> 00:09:51,950 Did I not mention all the artifacts 265 00:09:51,983 --> 00:09:54,255 Ibadan Peters wants are from Nigeria? 266 00:09:54,288 --> 00:09:55,858 And that he takes issue 267 00:09:55,891 --> 00:09:58,964 with them not being returned to his country? 268 00:09:58,997 --> 00:10:00,367 But you said this was all legit. 269 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,703 It is. 270 00:10:01,736 --> 00:10:03,841 Those artifacts belong to us now. 271 00:10:03,874 --> 00:10:05,210 For goodness' sake, 272 00:10:05,243 --> 00:10:06,947 we've had them for generations. 273 00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:09,719 Ah, yes, the law of finders keepers. 274 00:10:09,752 --> 00:10:10,955 Wait, is that the law here? 275 00:10:10,988 --> 00:10:13,827 Because I just found this beer, and... 276 00:10:13,860 --> 00:10:15,998 It's warm! 277 00:10:16,031 --> 00:10:17,835 Regardless of his intent, 278 00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:20,741 Ibadan Peters was stealing museum property, 279 00:10:20,774 --> 00:10:23,313 and you kept the plaque safe. 280 00:10:23,346 --> 00:10:27,989 And we love to see cooperation within an Abernathy family. 281 00:10:28,022 --> 00:10:29,859 Right, right, right, right. Of course. 282 00:10:29,892 --> 00:10:31,162 We can wait here 283 00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:33,199 for the museum to send a new truck. 284 00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:36,138 And in the meantime, I'd love to speak with you privately 285 00:10:36,171 --> 00:10:38,978 on the danger of your exciting work. 286 00:10:39,011 --> 00:10:40,715 I mean, yeah. Sure. 287 00:10:40,748 --> 00:10:42,126 You think that's the first time I've climbed 288 00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:44,255 out of a moving truck and fought a child? 289 00:10:44,288 --> 00:10:46,325 - Actually, it might be. - Maybe you could take me 290 00:10:46,358 --> 00:10:49,064 to one of the rooms above the pub and tell me more. 291 00:10:49,097 --> 00:10:50,801 Or show me. 292 00:10:50,834 --> 00:10:53,741 Wait, you're saying there are rooms above bars here? 293 00:10:53,774 --> 00:10:55,152 I thought that was just a myth. 294 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,949 Are Hobbits real? 295 00:10:57,982 --> 00:10:59,351 - Huh? - I was thinking, 296 00:10:59,384 --> 00:11:00,755 it seems unfair of me 297 00:11:00,788 --> 00:11:03,059 to not let you as senior employees 298 00:11:03,092 --> 00:11:04,370 also have a say in these assessments. 299 00:11:04,394 --> 00:11:06,299 Pam! You haven't started? 300 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,871 I started to start, but it's so boring 301 00:11:08,904 --> 00:11:10,173 compared to fieldwork. 302 00:11:10,206 --> 00:11:11,777 Come on, Cyril, you're the one 303 00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:14,014 that's all wet for being a good employer. 304 00:11:14,047 --> 00:11:15,885 Oh, please don't say it like that. 305 00:11:15,918 --> 00:11:18,222 Cheryl, you love judging people. 306 00:11:18,255 --> 00:11:19,960 You would think that. 307 00:11:19,993 --> 00:11:21,228 And Krieger, I mean, 308 00:11:21,261 --> 00:11:22,966 what are you even doing right now? 309 00:11:22,999 --> 00:11:24,335 Shh! Look, if I don't tell you, 310 00:11:24,368 --> 00:11:25,337 then he can't hurt you. 311 00:11:25,370 --> 00:11:27,107 I mean, it can't hurt you. 312 00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:29,078 - I mean, nothing! - Great. 313 00:11:29,111 --> 00:11:32,283 Then we can split these up so I won't blow my brains out. 314 00:11:34,254 --> 00:11:36,793 All I wanted was to get my daughter into a good school, 315 00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:38,797 and now Archer's upstairs probably ruining 316 00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:40,868 the whole reason I took this stupid job. 317 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,914 I thought you took this job for us to "be the good guys." 318 00:11:42,938 --> 00:11:45,343 Yeah, I did. It was both. 319 00:11:45,376 --> 00:11:47,347 But now we're obviously on the side of the... 320 00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:48,951 Stuff-takers. 321 00:11:48,984 --> 00:11:50,353 You can say "colonizers." 322 00:11:50,386 --> 00:11:52,066 And you must've known that when you took the job 323 00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:53,527 working for an English museum. 324 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:55,931 We almost exclusively have things from other countries. 325 00:11:55,964 --> 00:11:57,267 Okay, I knew 326 00:11:57,300 --> 00:12:00,006 but kinda wanted to pretend I didn't. 327 00:12:00,039 --> 00:12:01,810 I mean, it's just how the world works. 328 00:12:01,843 --> 00:12:04,481 - But does it have to? - No, not have to, but... 329 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:07,254 Pays you to and gives you New York private school perks? 330 00:12:07,287 --> 00:12:09,425 - Huh. - Can I speak frankly with you? 331 00:12:09,458 --> 00:12:11,997 - Have you not already been? - Here's where you messed up. 332 00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:13,442 You took this job for personal benefit 333 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,805 but chose to ignore an obvious morality issue, 334 00:12:15,838 --> 00:12:18,076 you let an unhinged rich idiot come along 335 00:12:18,109 --> 00:12:19,521 and gave her the power to tell us what to do, 336 00:12:19,545 --> 00:12:21,415 and we're dealing with some kind of curse 337 00:12:21,448 --> 00:12:24,355 likely eating our insides away as we speak. 338 00:12:24,388 --> 00:12:26,359 - Um... - And really, this was all 339 00:12:26,392 --> 00:12:28,363 to get something you wanted. 340 00:12:28,396 --> 00:12:30,534 No, not for me. For my daughter. 341 00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:32,572 So you're saying that despite trying to run 342 00:12:32,605 --> 00:12:34,843 a morally good agency, I'm morally bankrupt. 343 00:12:34,876 --> 00:12:36,847 What? No! I'm saying I wish 344 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,517 Skanky Poppins up there would just... 345 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,588 Stop! Wait. There has to be an explanation. 346 00:12:40,621 --> 00:12:42,057 This never happens. 347 00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:44,562 - I'm sure it doesn't. - Lana, tell her. 348 00:12:44,595 --> 00:12:46,933 Tell her I'm never not able to perform. 349 00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:50,240 Uh, yeah, I would, but no part of me wants to. 350 00:12:50,273 --> 00:12:51,977 You're touching the plaque with your hands. 351 00:12:52,010 --> 00:12:53,179 - You're cursed! - Yes! 352 00:12:53,212 --> 00:12:54,983 Oh, thank God. It's the curse. 353 00:12:55,016 --> 00:12:56,385 So I'll just get rid of this thing, 354 00:12:56,418 --> 00:12:58,222 and we go back upstairs and, you know... 355 00:12:59,157 --> 00:13:00,561 You idiot! 356 00:13:00,594 --> 00:13:02,565 Why would you... hold on. 357 00:13:02,598 --> 00:13:04,134 Where's the museum tag? 358 00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:06,005 It was attached when we packed it. 359 00:13:06,038 --> 00:13:07,407 The curse must've burned it away. 360 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,544 Oh, my God, Archer, 361 00:13:08,577 --> 00:13:10,080 that's not even how curses work. 362 00:13:10,113 --> 00:13:11,324 Don't make fun of the curse, Zara! 363 00:13:11,348 --> 00:13:12,552 - It's real. - Wait. 364 00:13:12,585 --> 00:13:14,455 The gold doesn't go all the way through. 365 00:13:14,488 --> 00:13:17,160 - It's paint. - And no museum tags means... 366 00:13:17,193 --> 00:13:20,233 The curse causes flaccidity and fake gold. 367 00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,003 No, it means Ibadan must've 368 00:13:22,036 --> 00:13:23,483 swapped the plaque out with a replica. 369 00:13:23,507 --> 00:13:25,911 - He's got the real one. - Oh, God! 370 00:13:25,944 --> 00:13:28,316 But this one can still be cursed too, right? 371 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:29,985 Right? 372 00:13:34,461 --> 00:13:36,007 I can't believe you let this happen! 373 00:13:36,031 --> 00:13:38,570 Ibadan Peters got away with the real plaque! 374 00:13:38,603 --> 00:13:39,873 I don't understand. 375 00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,275 You believe in something so much, 376 00:13:41,308 --> 00:13:42,912 and then it lets you down. 377 00:13:42,945 --> 00:13:44,549 Then it all feels like a lie. 378 00:13:44,582 --> 00:13:46,060 - Is he talking about... - Not the plaque 379 00:13:46,084 --> 00:13:47,922 and instead his un-erect dick? 380 00:13:47,955 --> 00:13:49,158 Hey, too soon, Lana. 381 00:13:49,191 --> 00:13:51,362 You have to find Ibadan Peters! 382 00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:54,334 He's likely at the nearest port escaping with the plaque. 383 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:57,274 Get there now and arrest him! 384 00:13:57,307 --> 00:13:59,178 Uh, okay, we don't arrest people 385 00:13:59,211 --> 00:14:01,449 because we're technically not law enforcement. 386 00:14:01,482 --> 00:14:03,419 Or nontechnically, technically. 387 00:14:03,452 --> 00:14:05,356 Plus, we were hired to protect the plaque. 388 00:14:05,389 --> 00:14:07,069 It seems like this guy wants the same thing 389 00:14:07,093 --> 00:14:08,573 but just disagrees with you on the how. 390 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:10,968 And after this little snafu, 391 00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:14,341 you apprehending Ibadan will look really good to the museum 392 00:14:14,374 --> 00:14:15,644 and the school board. 393 00:14:15,677 --> 00:14:17,347 Do you understand what I mean? 394 00:14:17,380 --> 00:14:19,586 Well, you're pretty much just directly saying it, 395 00:14:19,619 --> 00:14:21,355 so yes, if you catch my drift. 396 00:14:21,388 --> 00:14:22,457 - Good. - Wait! 397 00:14:22,490 --> 00:14:24,228 You should come with us, since you like 398 00:14:24,261 --> 00:14:25,372 all the danger and excitement. 399 00:14:25,396 --> 00:14:26,633 There might be another fight. 400 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,369 A really sexy fight. 401 00:14:28,402 --> 00:14:30,473 Oh! This is so sad. 402 00:14:30,507 --> 00:14:32,621 And then you and me can just try this whole thing again 403 00:14:32,645 --> 00:14:34,649 so you can see that it was all just the curse. 404 00:14:34,682 --> 00:14:37,522 Definitely just the curse. Not me. 405 00:14:37,555 --> 00:14:40,126 I'm all right. 406 00:14:40,159 --> 00:14:42,097 There's no reason to be nervous, man. 407 00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:43,275 These assessments are just a way 408 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:44,636 to help you with your goals. 409 00:14:44,669 --> 00:14:46,272 So what exactly are your goals? 410 00:14:46,305 --> 00:14:48,376 - Oh, um... - They could be anything. 411 00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:49,979 Not just office shit. 412 00:14:50,012 --> 00:14:51,983 Like, I used to really want to be in the field. 413 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,956 I mean, HR is great, but when you're out there, 414 00:14:54,989 --> 00:14:56,392 something else takes over. 415 00:14:56,425 --> 00:14:58,296 And when you're wailing on somebody, 416 00:14:58,329 --> 00:15:01,402 there's nothing quite like bashing their head in 417 00:15:01,435 --> 00:15:05,210 and seeing parts of their brain scatter across the floor! 418 00:15:05,243 --> 00:15:08,149 Now that's how you get inside someone's head! 419 00:15:10,554 --> 00:15:11,999 I feel like I'm not describing it right. 420 00:15:12,023 --> 00:15:13,660 Hold on. I'll draw you a picture. 421 00:15:13,693 --> 00:15:16,533 All your data entry here is up-to-date. 422 00:15:16,566 --> 00:15:19,137 Ah? Get it? Date-ah? 423 00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:22,377 You'll come to know me as the office jokester. 424 00:15:22,410 --> 00:15:24,448 This is going really well, huh? 425 00:15:24,481 --> 00:15:25,985 It is, right? 426 00:15:26,018 --> 00:15:28,022 'Cause you can say if it's not because... 427 00:15:28,055 --> 00:15:30,035 Look, I'm not saying he'll definitely hurt everyone. 428 00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:33,132 I'm just saying that this agency cutting my budget 429 00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:35,003 will only hurt the entire office 430 00:15:35,036 --> 00:15:37,007 in ways you won't even comprehend 431 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,646 until it's too late. 432 00:15:40,614 --> 00:15:42,284 Aww, don't be afraid. 433 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,720 He will smell that. 434 00:15:43,753 --> 00:15:47,294 Anyway, you're interested in science division! 435 00:15:47,327 --> 00:15:49,464 So do you just wanna be a lab rat, 436 00:15:49,497 --> 00:15:52,037 or do you aspire to more things? 437 00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:54,542 Do you do anything other than answer phones, 438 00:15:54,575 --> 00:15:57,314 not exercise, and only eat meats and cheeses? 439 00:15:57,347 --> 00:16:00,053 Then you get a D for delicious! 440 00:16:00,086 --> 00:16:02,424 All right. We've been at it for a while. 441 00:16:02,457 --> 00:16:05,598 I mean, we've gotta be about done, right? 442 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,002 Why is this stack so big 443 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,306 and the ones we've done is so small? 444 00:16:10,339 --> 00:16:13,045 Did we only do one each? 445 00:16:13,078 --> 00:16:15,718 Technically, mine fainted, so I'm still at zero. 446 00:16:15,751 --> 00:16:17,722 But it's been two hours? 447 00:16:17,755 --> 00:16:19,191 How is that possible? 448 00:16:19,224 --> 00:16:21,061 Oh, my God! 449 00:16:21,094 --> 00:16:22,598 Does that mean I can go home? 450 00:16:27,106 --> 00:16:28,075 There they are 451 00:16:28,108 --> 00:16:29,077 So are we tying them up 452 00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:30,079 or killing them or... 453 00:16:30,112 --> 00:16:31,215 Jesus, Zara! 454 00:16:31,248 --> 00:16:33,452 Oh, now you have a moral red line. 455 00:16:33,485 --> 00:16:35,356 Working for a museum is way different 456 00:16:35,389 --> 00:16:37,127 - than killing kids. - Which part? 457 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,496 The part where you kill a kid! 458 00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:39,766 We're not killing them. 459 00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,603 We might need them to break the curse 460 00:16:41,636 --> 00:16:43,607 that's been unceremoniously put on me. 461 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,385 And also, neither of them are really that bad, 462 00:16:45,409 --> 00:16:47,113 and one's a child. 463 00:16:47,146 --> 00:16:49,017 Sure. Yeah. We've all got reasons. 464 00:16:50,821 --> 00:16:52,324 Jesus. 465 00:16:52,357 --> 00:16:53,459 Where was this kid trained? 466 00:16:54,762 --> 00:16:56,465 Stop. We're not doing that. 467 00:16:56,498 --> 00:16:58,468 This curse has already taken too much. 468 00:17:00,774 --> 00:17:02,110 Voles? 469 00:17:02,143 --> 00:17:03,780 Why'd it have to be voles? 470 00:17:03,813 --> 00:17:06,218 Is that something you run into a lot? 471 00:17:06,251 --> 00:17:07,387 Museum tags and all. 472 00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:08,666 I sent our location to Clarissa, 473 00:17:08,690 --> 00:17:10,259 and the police should be here soon. 474 00:17:10,292 --> 00:17:13,232 Stop, stop, stop. You don't understand. 475 00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:16,506 The museum will keep the plaque locked away in storage 476 00:17:16,539 --> 00:17:18,777 rather than return it to my country. 477 00:17:18,810 --> 00:17:20,514 I'm just doing what is right. 478 00:17:20,547 --> 00:17:22,284 Really? You clearly kidnapped 479 00:17:22,317 --> 00:17:24,522 this poor child and forced him into a life of crime. 480 00:17:24,555 --> 00:17:26,358 I weren't kidnapped, Miss! 481 00:17:26,391 --> 00:17:28,830 Ibadan adopted me from a life on the streets 482 00:17:28,863 --> 00:17:30,433 and taught me about the importance 483 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,437 of a country's culture. 484 00:17:32,470 --> 00:17:34,575 Huh. That's kinda noble. 485 00:17:34,608 --> 00:17:36,245 So we're just skating over 486 00:17:36,278 --> 00:17:38,282 this kid constantly being in harm's way? 487 00:17:38,315 --> 00:17:39,552 I mean, I can drop it. 488 00:17:39,585 --> 00:17:40,596 I just don't know where the line is. 489 00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:42,157 Neither do I, Zara! 490 00:17:42,190 --> 00:17:44,662 More importantly, you need to remove the curse 491 00:17:44,695 --> 00:17:45,831 from any... 492 00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:47,434 Body parts it may have impacted. 493 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:48,804 The curse of the plaque? 494 00:17:48,837 --> 00:17:51,275 It will be broken when the plaque is returned 495 00:17:51,308 --> 00:17:53,680 to Nigeria, which I want to do. 496 00:17:53,713 --> 00:17:55,158 Great, so we're letting him go, right? 497 00:17:55,182 --> 00:17:56,786 We're all agreed? And done. 498 00:17:56,819 --> 00:17:58,255 Whoa, hey. Wait a minute. 499 00:17:58,288 --> 00:17:59,559 Lana, this is bigger than you! 500 00:17:59,592 --> 00:18:01,428 And I've gotta say, I don't love the idea 501 00:18:01,461 --> 00:18:03,299 of this adorable urchin going to jail. 502 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:05,838 I mean, yes, the plaque should be returned to Nigeria. 503 00:18:05,871 --> 00:18:07,675 With the curse! Whoo-hoo-hoo! 504 00:18:07,708 --> 00:18:10,179 - But you did steal it. - Oh, please. 505 00:18:10,212 --> 00:18:12,585 You know, you Americans, you like to take your time 506 00:18:12,618 --> 00:18:14,321 sitting on the fence, don't you? 507 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:15,566 Will you shut up? I'm trying to help you. 508 00:18:15,590 --> 00:18:17,360 Or you are wasting time 509 00:18:17,393 --> 00:18:19,498 before the cops come to arrest me. 510 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,301 - Is that what you're doing? - No! 511 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,738 Hey, there's no time for this. 512 00:18:22,771 --> 00:18:25,343 He's probably the reason our organs are shriveling away. 513 00:18:25,376 --> 00:18:27,313 - What? - So we are killing them? 514 00:18:27,346 --> 00:18:28,550 Ugh, I can't believe 515 00:18:28,583 --> 00:18:30,587 I actually miss the office right now. 516 00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:32,767 All right, team, here we go. Everybody listen up, okay? 517 00:18:32,791 --> 00:18:33,894 Do not include me in this. 518 00:18:33,927 --> 00:18:35,898 We realized that it's unfair of us... 519 00:18:35,931 --> 00:18:37,233 I'm not part of this. 520 00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:38,737 To judge and assess all of you. 521 00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:40,574 It doesn't make us good bosses. 522 00:18:40,607 --> 00:18:41,776 Oh, God. 523 00:18:41,809 --> 00:18:44,481 So we all decided the best judge is... 524 00:18:44,515 --> 00:18:45,617 yourself! 525 00:18:45,650 --> 00:18:47,487 So you'll self-evaluate. 526 00:18:47,521 --> 00:18:49,726 But sign my name at the bottom to make clear 527 00:18:49,759 --> 00:18:51,730 that you're also your own HR rep. 528 00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:54,367 You're all your own me! 529 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,606 And you're all getting raises. 530 00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,712 What the hell, Pam? 531 00:18:59,745 --> 00:19:03,185 Lana just gave everyone raises. We can't afford to do it again. 532 00:19:03,218 --> 00:19:05,356 Oh, well, it's probably someone's job 533 00:19:05,389 --> 00:19:07,227 to let everyone know that bummer news, right? 534 00:19:07,260 --> 00:19:09,732 Yes, it's the head of HR's job. 535 00:19:09,765 --> 00:19:12,505 Oh, look! It's Beauregard. 536 00:19:12,538 --> 00:19:14,241 Hey, buddy. You have something to say? 537 00:19:14,274 --> 00:19:16,211 Cyril's got a tiny squid's dick. 538 00:19:17,681 --> 00:19:19,217 Beauregard! 539 00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:21,556 Sorry. He's going through some stuff. 540 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,770 And that's for the curse! 541 00:19:28,803 --> 00:19:31,776 This is meant to be a fake fight. 542 00:19:31,809 --> 00:19:33,245 Yeah, but it has to look real. 543 00:19:33,278 --> 00:19:34,782 I'm cursed, not anemic. 544 00:19:34,815 --> 00:19:37,755 Oh, that was better! 545 00:19:37,788 --> 00:19:39,525 Wait, wait, wait, that is a lot of police. 546 00:19:39,558 --> 00:19:41,361 What if they shoot? It'll ruin the plan. 547 00:19:41,394 --> 00:19:42,674 Oh, the UK police don't carry... 548 00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:45,403 What the hell? 549 00:19:45,436 --> 00:19:47,407 Well, 90% of UK police 550 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,286 don't carry guns, and it looks like there's ten of them, 551 00:19:49,310 --> 00:19:51,583 so numbers-wise, one would have a gun. 552 00:19:51,616 --> 00:19:53,553 Oops! Uh, sorry. 553 00:19:53,586 --> 00:19:54,956 I was aiming for the bad guy. 554 00:19:54,989 --> 00:19:56,693 Sure. 555 00:19:56,726 --> 00:19:57,828 Not the time! 556 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,936 That was you trying to knock me out? 557 00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:04,575 Come on, there's only so much performance I can give here. 558 00:20:04,608 --> 00:20:06,946 I was not trying to knock you out. 559 00:20:06,979 --> 00:20:09,685 I just needed you in position. 560 00:20:09,718 --> 00:20:10,921 Ow! 561 00:20:10,954 --> 00:20:12,691 Ha! He got me again. 562 00:20:12,724 --> 00:20:14,427 That kid is a damn genius. 563 00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,939 Oh, you can laugh and cough up blood at the same time. 564 00:20:19,972 --> 00:20:20,941 Ow! 565 00:20:20,974 --> 00:20:22,578 I knew it. 566 00:20:27,386 --> 00:20:28,824 Wait! I have the plaque. 567 00:20:28,857 --> 00:20:30,694 And he'll pay for stealing it! 568 00:20:30,727 --> 00:20:32,330 Arrest him! 569 00:20:36,706 --> 00:20:38,486 Wait, you're not supposed to be the one driving. 570 00:20:38,510 --> 00:20:40,446 You're a kid! 571 00:20:42,918 --> 00:20:44,488 Hit the gas, Half-Pint! 572 00:20:46,659 --> 00:20:49,364 No, no, no! Did he escape? 573 00:20:49,397 --> 00:20:51,001 You should go after him! 574 00:20:51,034 --> 00:20:52,605 Looks like he's gone through, innit? 575 00:20:52,638 --> 00:20:53,974 Eh, get him next time. 576 00:20:54,007 --> 00:20:55,878 Fish and chips and all that. 577 00:20:55,911 --> 00:20:57,748 I believe our job was to keep the plaque safe, 578 00:20:57,781 --> 00:20:58,884 and now it is. 579 00:20:58,917 --> 00:21:00,319 My team and I can go after Ibadan 580 00:21:00,352 --> 00:21:01,498 if that's what the museum wants. 581 00:21:01,522 --> 00:21:03,894 No, no, you did your job. Thank you. 582 00:21:03,927 --> 00:21:06,733 I suppose this adventure got me a little carried away. 583 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,870 There are perhaps certain parts of this 584 00:21:08,903 --> 00:21:10,908 that could stay between us. 585 00:21:10,941 --> 00:21:13,312 Like you trying to turn this into a capture mission 586 00:21:13,345 --> 00:21:14,849 or like you trying to bang a guy 587 00:21:14,882 --> 00:21:16,619 who side-piped an artifact? 588 00:21:16,652 --> 00:21:17,621 Right. 589 00:21:17,654 --> 00:21:19,391 Completely unrelated, 590 00:21:19,424 --> 00:21:21,461 I do look forward to welcoming AJ 591 00:21:21,494 --> 00:21:22,932 to Abernathy in the autumn. 592 00:21:22,965 --> 00:21:24,502 Seems like a fair trade-off. 593 00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:27,040 There are very few things America does well, 594 00:21:27,073 --> 00:21:31,081 but the Abernathy school is one of them. 595 00:21:31,114 --> 00:21:33,753 Huh. She is patronizing. 596 00:21:35,857 --> 00:21:38,028 Good thing Ibadan had another reproduction. 597 00:21:38,061 --> 00:21:40,934 That one gets locked away, and the real one goes home. 598 00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,905 You made the right call. The curse is broken 599 00:21:42,938 --> 00:21:45,343 thanks to two strong female agents 600 00:21:45,376 --> 00:21:46,813 working together to overcome 601 00:21:46,846 --> 00:21:49,050 one agent's willful moral blindness. 602 00:21:49,083 --> 00:21:50,520 Wait a second. 603 00:21:50,553 --> 00:21:51,956 No, thank you. 604 00:21:51,989 --> 00:21:53,067 You know, thinking about it, 605 00:21:53,091 --> 00:21:54,929 that guy probably made up the curse 606 00:21:54,962 --> 00:21:57,668 so he could get to the plaque, which means I was right, 607 00:21:57,701 --> 00:21:59,371 which means curses aren't real! 608 00:21:59,404 --> 00:22:00,908 Ha! 609 00:22:00,941 --> 00:22:04,949 Which means you're impotent. 610 00:22:04,982 --> 00:22:07,688 Never mind. 611 00:22:26,692 --> 00:22:29,531 Made in Georgia.