1 00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:34,903 Ugh, why do we always get cleanup duty 2 00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,383 when they've tortured a Reman? 3 00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,864 They leave behind the biggest mess. 4 00:00:38,907 --> 00:00:42,041 Sub-Commander Vrek takes pleasure in our misery. 5 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:44,348 Hopefully, he doesn't get too comfortable, 6 00:00:44,391 --> 00:00:47,046 for soon my plans will come to fruition 7 00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:49,614 and his life will be disrupted. 8 00:00:49,657 --> 00:00:52,834 You are betraying Sub-Commander Vrek? 9 00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,358 That is a pity 10 00:00:54,401 --> 00:00:57,448 because I am already betraying him 11 00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:01,147 and my plans will come to fruition first. 12 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:03,889 Oh, please, don't make me scoff. 13 00:01:03,932 --> 00:01:05,717 Your plans are barely even schemes. 14 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,763 You wouldn't know a scheme from a conspiracy. 15 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,548 Ooh, an alert. 16 00:01:10,591 --> 00:01:12,680 Our sinister plans will have to wait. 17 00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:17,207 Ugh, Reman juice never comes out. 18 00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:18,338 Status report. 19 00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,384 An unknown ship seems to have 20 00:01:20,427 --> 00:01:21,907 intentionally blocked our path. 21 00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:23,474 How did they detect us? 22 00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:27,433 Assassination plots against me are one thing, but sabotage? 23 00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:29,741 Is this your doing, Malok? 24 00:01:29,784 --> 00:01:31,308 How dare you. 25 00:01:31,351 --> 00:01:34,049 Of course I crave your demise, but not like... 26 00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:36,356 Silence. I've been stabbing commanders in the back 27 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,229 since before your mother killed her first traitor. 28 00:01:39,272 --> 00:01:40,403 Wipe this crumb 29 00:01:40,447 --> 00:01:41,883 from our path so I can focus 30 00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:43,581 on being suspicious. 31 00:01:43,624 --> 00:01:46,453 Commander, our systems... They're not responding! 32 00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:48,412 That's impossible. Fire disruptors! 33 00:01:48,455 --> 00:01:50,979 No, it's true. Our shields are deactivating. 34 00:01:51,022 --> 00:01:52,198 Go to cloak! 35 00:03:19,372 --> 00:03:21,026 Let me die! 36 00:03:21,069 --> 00:03:24,508 No, no, no. Stay with me, Shaxs. You're gonna get through this. 37 00:03:24,551 --> 00:03:26,205 We're exploring the galactic frontier, 38 00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:27,815 we need to stay flexible. 39 00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:30,340 Wow, you're really tight today. 40 00:03:30,383 --> 00:03:32,037 What's got you so tense, amigo? 41 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,866 One minute, T'Ana's all over me, 42 00:03:34,909 --> 00:03:36,824 the next, she says I'm too clingy 43 00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,454 and she won't come out from under the bed. 44 00:03:38,478 --> 00:03:40,891 Have you tried scratching your fingers on the covers and going 45 00:03:40,915 --> 00:03:42,371 - "pss-pss-pss-pss"? - Of course I have! 46 00:03:42,395 --> 00:03:45,093 How's it going with the new lieutenants? 47 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,226 Good, except for Mariner. 48 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,359 - Mm-hmm. - I've got her right where I want her. 49 00:03:49,402 --> 00:03:51,317 She thinks she knows the score, but trust me, 50 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,406 she won't be my problem for long. 51 00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:58,150 - Hot fudge sundaes after this? - Oh, yeah. 52 00:03:58,193 --> 00:04:00,065 Cheat day. 53 00:04:03,416 --> 00:04:06,158 We put a lot of light-years on these orange slabs. 54 00:04:06,201 --> 00:04:08,552 I promised myself I wouldn't get emotional. 55 00:04:08,595 --> 00:04:09,988 Aw, how could you not? 56 00:04:10,031 --> 00:04:11,642 We spent so much time hanging out, 57 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,122 staying up late ranking captains by cuteness, 58 00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,560 swapping bodies because of those cosmic rays. 59 00:04:16,603 --> 00:04:18,865 We learned too much about each other that day. 60 00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:21,173 I'm even gonna miss the dent I made from all the times 61 00:04:21,216 --> 00:04:23,567 I slammed my head on the ceiling during a red alert. 62 00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:25,351 Goodbye, Denty. 63 00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:26,807 You okay, Mariner? Need any help packing? 64 00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,572 No thanks. 65 00:04:28,615 --> 00:04:30,027 Ransom's just gonna knock me back down to ensign anyway. 66 00:04:30,051 --> 00:04:31,662 He promoted you last week. 67 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,770 I just heard him bragging to Shaxs that he's messing with me. 68 00:04:33,794 --> 00:04:35,492 - What? Why? - I mean, who knows. His brain 69 00:04:35,535 --> 00:04:37,644 is, like, the only part of his body he doesn't work out. 70 00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:39,931 But didn't he say he was going to support you? 71 00:04:39,974 --> 00:04:42,542 No, they always do, and then the second I speak my mind? Bam. 72 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:44,152 Right back to being an ensign. 73 00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:46,217 They always think it's, like, a learning experience. 74 00:04:46,241 --> 00:04:47,895 Wait, is he dumb or playing mind games? 75 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:49,767 Well, who cares. I'm not falling for it. 76 00:04:49,810 --> 00:04:52,596 Ransom's just waiting for me to mess up, huh? Fine. 77 00:04:52,639 --> 00:04:54,598 I'm gonna become an insubordination supernova 78 00:04:54,641 --> 00:04:56,034 and control my own fate. 79 00:04:56,077 --> 00:04:58,601 But you're not actually gonna blow anything up, right? 80 00:04:58,645 --> 00:05:00,778 No. I'm gonna talk back, break the rules, 81 00:05:00,821 --> 00:05:02,886 crack some inappropriate jokes in front of an ambassador. 82 00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:06,566 When I get demoted, it'll be because I earned it. 83 00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:08,065 Well, that should prove to be a disaster. 84 00:05:08,089 --> 00:05:09,153 Should we go check out our rooms? 85 00:05:09,177 --> 00:05:11,397 Yeah, come on Rutherfor... Oh, right. 86 00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:12,616 I'm sorry. 87 00:05:12,659 --> 00:05:15,140 You guys go ahead. I'm still a lowly ensign. 88 00:05:15,183 --> 00:05:17,447 Ugh, I totally forgot you didn't get promoted with us. 89 00:05:17,490 --> 00:05:19,536 You exude lieutenant junior grade energy. 90 00:05:19,579 --> 00:05:21,189 I don't know if I'm going to like 91 00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:23,298 not bunking five feet away from you. I mean, how will I sleep 92 00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:25,455 without someone muttering about the warp threshold? 93 00:05:25,498 --> 00:05:26,978 Aw, Tendi, don't worry, 94 00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:28,956 I'll just get a promotion today so I can join you guys. 95 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:31,591 I... don't know if it's that easy. 96 00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:33,550 I just have to do some amazing engineering. 97 00:05:33,593 --> 00:05:35,116 How hard could it be? 98 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,423 Oof. What I would give for his confidence. 99 00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:39,867 Huh. Maybe you'd have it if you didn't hit your head so much. 100 00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:42,428 Don't say stuff like that in front of Denty. 101 00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:54,005 What up, nerds? 102 00:05:54,048 --> 00:05:55,025 Who's ready to get mission-y? 103 00:05:55,049 --> 00:05:56,834 Almost on time, Mariner. Well done. 104 00:05:56,877 --> 00:05:58,879 This is Ensign Gary's first away mission, 105 00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:01,447 so I'd like you to take him under your wing. You know, 106 00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,101 once you change into your uniform. 107 00:06:03,144 --> 00:06:05,495 No, you know, I thought I'd keep it "caszh" today. 108 00:06:05,538 --> 00:06:08,106 Simple mission, simple outfit. This guy gets it. 109 00:06:08,149 --> 00:06:10,978 Okay. Speaking of the mission, 110 00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:13,546 please fill Ensign Gary in on the particulars. 111 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,374 Can do, hoss. Boom. 112 00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,681 Today we're dealing with a classic "menage." 113 00:06:17,724 --> 00:06:19,509 - "Menage"? - A menagerie. 114 00:06:19,552 --> 00:06:21,772 Well, it's basically just a big-ass alien zoo 115 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,556 full of aliens run by another alien. 116 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,186 This one scooped up a couple of humans... 117 00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:26,994 "by accident," so 118 00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:28,407 we got to bust them the out. 119 00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,607 Oh, I-I didn't know it would be dangerous. 120 00:06:30,650 --> 00:06:34,349 It's not. And this place has a strict no-weapons policy. 121 00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:36,264 Eh, menageries are always capturing humans 122 00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:38,092 then turning them back over to Starfleet. 123 00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:41,095 We'll be in and out, no biggie. Right, Jack? 124 00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:42,706 Let's just get in the shuttle. 125 00:06:42,749 --> 00:06:44,534 Wait, when you're a lieutenant JG 126 00:06:44,577 --> 00:06:46,231 you can call him Jack? 127 00:06:46,274 --> 00:06:47,556 I always call him Jack because, you know, 128 00:06:47,580 --> 00:06:48,973 socially, we're equals. 129 00:06:49,016 --> 00:06:50,409 Right, Jack? 130 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:51,889 We're leaving now. 131 00:06:51,932 --> 00:06:53,717 Oh, boy, 132 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,738 Mirror Universe Archer, you're gonna love our new room. 133 00:06:55,762 --> 00:06:57,721 Aah... 134 00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,029 The nacelle is right there? 135 00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:03,727 Okay, 136 00:07:03,770 --> 00:07:05,598 not the best view, 137 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,948 but I'm sure I'll get used to it. 138 00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:10,037 Aah! Lil' Archer! Ah... 139 00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,389 Take her in nice and easy. 140 00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:18,045 Aye aye, sir. Nice and easy. 141 00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:21,329 - What are you doing?! - Slow down, slow down, 142 00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:22,180 slow down! 143 00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,402 I don't want to die! 144 00:07:31,711 --> 00:07:34,409 - Was that nice and easy enough? - That... 145 00:07:34,452 --> 00:07:37,282 was some great piloting. Let's get to work. 146 00:07:37,325 --> 00:07:41,025 I need to replicate some new pants. 147 00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,811 Oh-ho, greetings. 148 00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:46,334 Narj is happy to welcome you 149 00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:49,773 to Narj's Miraculous Menagerarium, 150 00:07:49,816 --> 00:07:51,775 recently voted one of the top thousand menageries 151 00:07:51,818 --> 00:07:52,993 in the quadrant. 152 00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:54,997 Narj will be sad to lose the humans. 153 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:56,736 They're incredibly popular. 154 00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,584 How did they even get locked up here in the first place? 155 00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,740 Accidentally scooped up with a shipment of bipedals. 156 00:08:02,089 --> 00:08:04,831 Narj has to admit that Narj does have a hard time 157 00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,398 telling non-botanical creatures apart. 158 00:08:06,441 --> 00:08:07,834 Happens all the time. 159 00:08:07,878 --> 00:08:09,923 Humans are always getting stuck in menageries. 160 00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:12,012 But don't worry, I brought my best team with me. 161 00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:14,972 We'll be out of your leaves lickity split. 162 00:08:15,015 --> 00:08:17,278 His best team? What the hell is that supposed to mean? 163 00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,106 I guess the commander likes us. 164 00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:21,500 What? No, he doesn't. He's messing with me. 165 00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:22,980 He's setting me up for humiliation 166 00:08:23,023 --> 00:08:24,087 when he comes down on me later. 167 00:08:24,111 --> 00:08:26,723 Are you guys breaking up or something? 168 00:08:26,766 --> 00:08:28,855 Yeah, we are, as coworkers. 169 00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,465 And we're gonna force it right now. 170 00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:31,815 I'm having a little trouble 171 00:08:31,858 --> 00:08:32,879 decoding the dynamic here, 172 00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:35,340 but I'd really like to be left out of it. 173 00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:40,866 Hey, Narj. 174 00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:42,652 What got you in the prison business, huh? 175 00:08:42,695 --> 00:08:44,654 Just a cruel weirdo who loves locking people up? 176 00:08:44,697 --> 00:08:47,091 A prison is a place for criminals. 177 00:08:47,134 --> 00:08:50,311 - I've given these sweet creatures a safe home. - What about this little guy? 178 00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:52,618 He doesn't deserve to be in your -up hobby. 179 00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:54,664 Hobby? The Moopsy is Narj's favorite. 180 00:08:54,707 --> 00:08:56,056 Moopsy. 181 00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,500 Do you imprison everything you like? 182 00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:59,756 - Of course. - Mariner, 183 00:08:59,799 --> 00:09:01,888 it's not our place to judge the menagerie. 184 00:09:01,932 --> 00:09:03,716 We're just here to collect the humans. 185 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,109 No, you're here to collect humans. 186 00:09:05,152 --> 00:09:07,154 I'm here to behuman, 187 00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:09,069 which means calling bull when I see it. 188 00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:10,636 Narj does not understand. 189 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,769 Narj abides by Federation law. 190 00:09:12,812 --> 00:09:15,075 Don't worry about it. She's a firebrand, 191 00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:16,990 but I trust her with my life. 192 00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:18,731 No, you're not getting in my head. 193 00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,603 Moopsy. 194 00:09:27,914 --> 00:09:29,718 And I can't wait until we're the same rank again because then 195 00:09:29,742 --> 00:09:31,918 we can get back to praising people behind their backs. 196 00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:34,921 I think Boimler's gonna be a great lieutenant. 197 00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,725 I don't want you to pressure yourself to get a promotion 198 00:09:36,749 --> 00:09:39,056 just so we can hang out. It can take years. 199 00:09:39,099 --> 00:09:41,972 Don't worry, I've been working on something pretty impressive. 200 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:43,451 Billups is gonna love it. 201 00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:45,932 Commander Billups. Can I run something by you, sir? 202 00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:47,804 Of course, Mr. Rutherford. What's up? 203 00:09:47,847 --> 00:09:49,247 For the past year, I've been working 204 00:09:49,283 --> 00:09:50,981 to decrease vibration in the warp manifold 205 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:53,244 by a factor of .05. 206 00:09:53,287 --> 00:09:55,159 .05? That can't be right. 207 00:09:55,202 --> 00:09:57,683 Well, it wasn't easy, but with a little ingenuity... 208 00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:59,008 No, I mean it can't be right 209 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,947 because, a few minutes ago, Ensign Livik 210 00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:03,689 decreased the vibration by a factor of .06. 211 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,125 Ensign Livik? Who's that? 212 00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:06,407 The new guy. 213 00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:07,954 Livik! Livik! 214 00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:09,564 Livik! Livik! 215 00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:10,740 Livik. 216 00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:19,879 Ha! Stupid bussard light. 217 00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:21,359 You ain't so tough now. 218 00:10:21,402 --> 00:10:22,969 I'll tell you, if Livik keeps this up, 219 00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:24,294 he'll have a promotion in no time. 220 00:10:24,318 --> 00:10:25,600 Let's fire up his protocol right now. 221 00:10:25,624 --> 00:10:27,887 I want to see that .06 in action. 222 00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:32,849 Help. 223 00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:38,158 And right this way. 224 00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:40,073 Hello, humans. 225 00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:42,597 Narj hopes you have enjoyed your stay in the "menage." 226 00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:45,818 Now, it is time for you to return to your natural habitat. 227 00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,777 I know you're taking a hit losing these guys. 228 00:10:47,820 --> 00:10:49,189 We appreciate the positive attitude. 229 00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:51,824 Not to worry. My real moneymakers 230 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,957 are the Pyrithian Swamp Gobblers over there. 231 00:10:57,612 --> 00:10:58,918 Moopsy. 232 00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:00,267 Hm? 233 00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:02,008 Oh, ! The Moopsy is free! 234 00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:04,010 Oh, no, your cuddliest prisoner is loose. 235 00:11:04,054 --> 00:11:05,403 Whatever shall we do? 236 00:11:05,446 --> 00:11:07,013 You don't understand. 237 00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:08,623 Everything here is incredibly dangerous. 238 00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:09,973 Moopsy. 239 00:11:10,016 --> 00:11:11,602 Can't be worse than the Swamp Gobblers. 240 00:11:11,626 --> 00:11:14,499 Of course it's worse! They only gobble you. 241 00:11:14,542 --> 00:11:16,240 The Moopsy drinks your bones! 242 00:11:16,283 --> 00:11:17,981 How does something drink bones? 243 00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:22,942 Holy! 244 00:11:22,986 --> 00:11:24,639 Run! Run for your lives! 245 00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:34,345 Moopsy. 246 00:11:34,388 --> 00:11:36,410 Come on, come on, come on, show me that sweet 247 00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:37,957 incremental improvement. 248 00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:39,263 Yes! 249 00:11:39,306 --> 00:11:41,308 Commander Billups? You might want to sit down. 250 00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:43,049 I increased the power output 251 00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:45,704 of the Tucker Tubes by seven pico-cochrans. 252 00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:47,314 That's great, Rutherford. 253 00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,336 I just hope those adjustments can apply to the Billups Tubes. 254 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,404 The what now? 255 00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:52,363 Ensign Livik figured out how to add 256 00:11:52,406 --> 00:11:55,018 a third tube without triggering a Heisenberg collapse. 257 00:11:55,061 --> 00:11:56,236 A third tube? 258 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,022 Yeah, and he named it the Billups Tubes. 259 00:11:59,065 --> 00:12:00,588 Classic Livik. 260 00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:02,044 I-I don't even know what we use these for, - 261 00:12:02,068 --> 00:12:02,982 but I love them. 262 00:12:03,026 --> 00:12:04,854 - Livik! Livik! - Livik. 263 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,641 Wow, so close to the holodecks. This is gonna be awesome. 264 00:12:09,684 --> 00:12:12,905 That's more like it. 265 00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:14,994 Thanks for helping me get my new quarters, sir. 266 00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,648 Happy to help, baby bear. 267 00:12:16,691 --> 00:12:19,172 Well, have fun getting settled in. I've got to run. 268 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,740 Dr. T'Ana and I have a date on the holodeck. 269 00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,176 Have fun. 270 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,526 You ready to get disgusting? 271 00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:28,225 Has that ever stopped you before? 272 00:12:31,271 --> 00:12:33,534 Computer, activate T'Ana program 35. 273 00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:37,016 Uh, how thin are these walls? 274 00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,254 With me, my merry men. 275 00:12:38,278 --> 00:12:39,976 We must make haste to the castle 276 00:12:40,019 --> 00:12:41,760 to save the Maid Marion. 277 00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,501 Ow! What are you doing? 278 00:12:43,544 --> 00:12:46,112 Shut your face. I'm Robin Hood now. 279 00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:48,636 Toodley doo! Shaxs, hold him down. 280 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,421 You've already hurt him pretty bad. 281 00:12:50,464 --> 00:12:52,858 - Kick his head! - Help! A cat 282 00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:56,296 has stolen my hat and arrows. 283 00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:58,646 Can't we just do the program as intended for once? 284 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,431 Oh! 285 00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:05,088 And now that I am president 286 00:13:05,131 --> 00:13:06,524 of all Starfleet, - 287 00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:08,134 allow me to present 288 00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:10,920 my inaugural scatting. 289 00:13:10,963 --> 00:13:13,661 Why is there a room between two holodecks? 290 00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,291 Don't make me arrow you! 291 00:13:15,315 --> 00:13:16,534 Ow! Stop that. 292 00:13:16,577 --> 00:13:18,275 - Make me! - Ow! 293 00:13:18,318 --> 00:13:20,122 I steal from the and give to my! 294 00:13:26,326 --> 00:13:27,980 Moopsy. 295 00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:39,774 So much... for these new pants. 296 00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:40,969 Uh, no-weapons policy 297 00:13:40,993 --> 00:13:42,995 in a death-trap zoo? genius. 298 00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:46,042 - What's your problem? - Do I really have to say it? 299 00:13:46,085 --> 00:13:47,739 Wait, you think I let that thing out? 300 00:13:47,782 --> 00:13:49,456 You've been pulling insubordinate crap all day. 301 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,611 Oh, that is rich. 302 00:13:50,655 --> 00:13:51,656 You're the one who let 303 00:13:51,699 --> 00:13:53,266 a bone-eating monster out of its cage. 304 00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:54,591 Uh, Narj will make sure the Moopsy 305 00:13:54,615 --> 00:13:56,139 is still attacking the door. 306 00:13:56,182 --> 00:13:57,551 Yeah, I've been pushing your buttons, because 307 00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:59,379 I knew you were looking for a reason to demote me, 308 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,120 and of course it's for something I didn't even do. 309 00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:02,623 Wait, why would I want to demote you? 310 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:05,757 Gee, I don't know, how about our entire working relationship? 311 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,237 What? I'm a good boss. 312 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,120 You stabbed me in the foot with a battle blade, 313 00:14:09,152 --> 00:14:12,329 you-you turned into a giant head and tried to eat me, 314 00:14:12,372 --> 00:14:13,784 you tried to trick me into messing up 315 00:14:13,808 --> 00:14:15,569 - on that space elevator... - That was an orbital lift. 316 00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:17,856 And then, after you promised you would believe in me, 317 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,094 I heard you tell Shaxs in the gym 318 00:14:19,118 --> 00:14:20,946 that I wasn't gonna be your problem anymore. 319 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,079 W-What? The gym? You heard that? 320 00:14:23,122 --> 00:14:24,602 Ha! You admit it. 321 00:14:24,645 --> 00:14:27,170 All I meant is that you're not gonna be my problem 322 00:14:27,213 --> 00:14:29,452 because I'm not gonna take the bait with your insubordination. 323 00:14:29,476 --> 00:14:31,217 Bait? What-what are you talking about? 324 00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:32,281 Ugh, it's all in your file. 325 00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:34,046 You've been promoted a dozen times, 326 00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:36,179 then you always get demoted for acting out. 327 00:14:36,222 --> 00:14:38,113 - Yeah, 'cause I'm a, you know, I'm a free spirt. - No. 328 00:14:38,137 --> 00:14:40,444 Because you're manipulating your commanding officers. 329 00:14:40,487 --> 00:14:42,465 I'm gonna be the first one who doesn't fall for it. 330 00:14:42,489 --> 00:14:44,013 Trust me, it's not easy. 331 00:14:44,056 --> 00:14:46,450 I do not try to get demoted. 332 00:14:46,493 --> 00:14:48,452 What have you been doing all day? 333 00:14:48,495 --> 00:14:50,454 No. I... I was... You... 334 00:14:50,497 --> 00:14:52,412 Uh... Okay, fine, that was just today. 335 00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:54,806 - You always do. - No, I don't. I... 336 00:14:54,849 --> 00:14:57,156 Shut up. 337 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,158 - Why would I do that? - I don't know. 338 00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:02,074 But I'm sorry to say you still have my unwavering support, 339 00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:03,641 no matter how hard you make it. 340 00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:06,861 I didn't let the Moopsy out. 341 00:15:06,905 --> 00:15:08,602 I believe you. 342 00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:10,561 Okay. Thank you. 343 00:15:10,604 --> 00:15:12,911 I'm glad you two worked your whole thing out, 344 00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:15,305 but can we maybe focus on the bone-drinking monster 345 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,350 this plant guy probably set loose? 346 00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:19,570 You accuse Narj of Moopsy freeing? 347 00:15:19,613 --> 00:15:21,311 Narj would never do such a thing. 348 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:24,227 Not even if we got killed and you kept your valuable humans? 349 00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:26,551 Plus, you're a tree... you probably don't even have bones. 350 00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:29,014 Ridiculous! Narj is ossified. Narj... 351 00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,146 Hm? 352 00:15:30,189 --> 00:15:32,278 Moopsy. 353 00:15:34,454 --> 00:15:37,240 It's chugging him! 354 00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,722 Wait, the door. 355 00:15:43,289 --> 00:15:45,509 Phew, no ladders. 356 00:15:45,552 --> 00:15:47,182 Now it can't get back through those vents. 357 00:15:47,206 --> 00:15:49,817 Yeah. Now it's trapped in the... 358 00:15:49,861 --> 00:15:52,907 station's main control room. 359 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:55,998 Moopsy. 360 00:16:09,228 --> 00:16:10,795 Ah, this is perfect. 361 00:16:10,838 --> 00:16:12,884 A nice, dark Jefferies Tube 362 00:16:12,927 --> 00:16:15,713 where we can't hear anyone decapitate Peter Pan. 363 00:16:15,756 --> 00:16:17,932 Ah, this is much better than the bunks. 364 00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:19,282 - Hey, Boimler. - Aah! 365 00:16:19,325 --> 00:16:20,283 What you doing in here? 366 00:16:20,326 --> 00:16:21,588 Hey, Rutherford. 367 00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:25,288 Uh, I live here now. You doing a systems check? 368 00:16:25,331 --> 00:16:26,917 Nah, I'm trying to find a way to diffuse heat conduction 369 00:16:26,941 --> 00:16:28,291 by a few nanojoules. 370 00:16:28,334 --> 00:16:30,423 Oh, some ensign just came through here 371 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:32,425 doing the exact same thing. 372 00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:34,186 Seemed like a real wunderkind. I was impressed. 373 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:35,559 Livik. 374 00:16:35,602 --> 00:16:38,475 Leave some minor improvements for the rest of us, guy! 375 00:16:38,518 --> 00:16:40,085 - Dinner later? - Sure. 376 00:16:43,784 --> 00:16:45,308 Hey, calm down. 377 00:16:45,351 --> 00:16:47,919 You calm down! If you two hadn't been bickering, 378 00:16:47,962 --> 00:16:50,356 we wouldn't be falling into a planet! 379 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:51,966 Nobody's dying today 380 00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:54,330 because I'm gonna crawl through the vents, unlock the door, 381 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,468 and get the Moopsy to chase me out, 382 00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:56,773 so you two can rush in and stabilize 383 00:16:56,797 --> 00:16:58,625 the orbit while it drinks my bones. 384 00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,323 Stand down, Mariner. 385 00:17:00,366 --> 00:17:01,498 Jack, we are plummeting. 386 00:17:01,541 --> 00:17:03,500 Even if this works, we'll only stop re-entry 387 00:17:03,543 --> 00:17:05,241 by the skin of our teeth. 388 00:17:05,284 --> 00:17:07,765 Wait, that's it. Mariner, 389 00:17:07,808 --> 00:17:09,071 punch me in the face. 390 00:17:10,027 --> 00:17:11,420 That's an order, Lieutenant. 391 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:12,987 Okay. 392 00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,381 Come on, as hard as you can. 393 00:17:17,382 --> 00:17:18,708 That thing wants bones? 394 00:17:18,732 --> 00:17:19,863 We'll give it bones. 395 00:17:19,907 --> 00:17:21,343 Oh, you're a genius. 396 00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:28,219 I should have been an outpost scientist. 397 00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:30,353 Wait, Rutherford, 398 00:17:30,396 --> 00:17:31,939 you've been working yourself to death all day. 399 00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,704 - You don't have to do this. - No. 400 00:17:33,747 --> 00:17:35,358 This time I nailed it. 401 00:17:35,401 --> 00:17:37,205 I sped up the replicators by nine whole femtoseconds. 402 00:17:37,229 --> 00:17:38,926 I'm definitely getting a promotion now. 403 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:41,494 You and I'll be the same rank and stay friends forever. 404 00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:42,993 Billups. Whew. It took an unbelievable 405 00:17:43,017 --> 00:17:44,845 amount of engineering, but I finally 406 00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:46,780 managed... - I'm sure whatever you did is great, Mr. Rutherford, 407 00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:49,372 - but it'll have to wait until after the pip ceremony. - Huh? 408 00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:53,898 Livik! 409 00:17:56,422 --> 00:17:58,424 I'm sorry, Tendi. 410 00:17:58,468 --> 00:18:00,731 I let you down. 411 00:18:00,774 --> 00:18:03,299 - Mr. Rutherford, stand at attention. - What? 412 00:18:03,342 --> 00:18:05,779 I am your superior, Ensign. Do it. 413 00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:07,694 We'll be friends no matter what our ranks are. 414 00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:09,455 We're going to spend tons of time hanging out 415 00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:11,674 and talking about science and telling jokes and, you know, 416 00:18:11,698 --> 00:18:13,874 do all the things we used to do. And that's an order. 417 00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:16,486 Yes, ma'am. 418 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,401 Oh, my gosh, I just gave my first order. 419 00:18:18,444 --> 00:18:20,968 - Oh. - Man, now I wish 420 00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:23,623 I hadn't turned down all those promotions. 421 00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:24,668 Sorry, what? 422 00:18:24,711 --> 00:18:26,104 You know, for saving the Cerritos 423 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:27,279 from the Pakleds 424 00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:28,952 and the Rubidoux from the space jellyfish, 425 00:18:28,976 --> 00:18:29,977 stuff like that. 426 00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:32,066 Wait, why did you turn them all down? 427 00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:34,678 Because I didn't want my own room 428 00:18:34,721 --> 00:18:36,245 where I wouldn't be near you. 429 00:18:36,288 --> 00:18:39,857 Aw, Rutherford, but can't you just go accept one right now? 430 00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:42,294 Nah, they took it really seriously in engineering. 431 00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:44,446 - You have to earn it with a scientific... - Hey, Billups! 432 00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:45,491 Can Rutherford have his promotion 433 00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:47,299 for that time he removed the hull? 434 00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:50,737 Oh, sure. Ah, sorry, Livik, maybe next time. 435 00:18:52,783 --> 00:18:55,481 Wait, I can just ask for stuff I deserve? 436 00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:58,702 - I guess. - Rutherford! Rutherford! 437 00:18:58,745 --> 00:19:01,879 Hooray! Thanks, everyone. 438 00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:04,490 Rutherford. 439 00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:06,449 And also Tendi. 440 00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:13,456 Moopsy. 441 00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:24,554 Moopsy. 442 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:27,644 Got you, you cuddly little murderer. 443 00:19:27,687 --> 00:19:30,864 We say-bih-eye da say-sa orbih! 444 00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:32,518 What's that, Gummy? 445 00:19:32,562 --> 00:19:34,303 We stabilized the station's orbit. 446 00:19:34,346 --> 00:19:37,610 Oh, man, victory really is that much sweeter 447 00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,308 when you almost got killed. 448 00:19:39,351 --> 00:19:40,676 I just wish we could have figured out 449 00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:42,746 how this little guy got out in the first place. 450 00:19:42,789 --> 00:19:45,028 I mean, it clearly wasn't Narj, dude was brimming with bones. 451 00:19:45,052 --> 00:19:46,445 Let's get these humans 452 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,578 out of here. Starfleet security can figure it out. 453 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,841 Well, at least it wasn't our fault. 454 00:19:50,884 --> 00:19:52,669 You know, humans are always being blamed 455 00:19:52,712 --> 00:19:55,759 for being dangerous, but we don't have claws or fangs 456 00:19:55,802 --> 00:19:57,064 - or... - Hey, that umbrella 457 00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:58,675 is upside down, yeah? 458 00:20:03,897 --> 00:20:06,117 Did you rewire the Moopsy door? 459 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,206 - You could've got us all killed. - Wow. 460 00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:11,383 I guess humans really are the most dangerous game. 461 00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:13,342 Damn it. 462 00:20:15,213 --> 00:20:17,171 Lieutenant junior grade's log.. 463 00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:20,044 Nope, no, too weird. Uh, let's go with 464 00:20:20,087 --> 00:20:22,960 Mariner's log. So, yeah, of course 465 00:20:23,003 --> 00:20:24,353 it was the humans in the menagerie 466 00:20:24,396 --> 00:20:26,006 that set the Moopsy free. 467 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,115 They'd seen how profitable they were as an attraction, 468 00:20:28,139 --> 00:20:31,229 so they wanted to kill Narj and keep the station for themselve. 469 00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,536 Humans... we really are the worst. 470 00:20:33,579 --> 00:20:34,928 So, anyway, 471 00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:37,409 instead of bringing them to theCerritos, we left them 472 00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,977 in the menagerie until somebody else has time to pick them up. 473 00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:41,370 Could take a while. 474 00:20:41,413 --> 00:20:43,546 As for Ransom, it took some doing, 475 00:20:43,589 --> 00:20:45,548 but Dr. T'Ana was able to fix him up 476 00:20:45,591 --> 00:20:46,940 with a new set of chompers. 477 00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:48,657 Just don't eat any hard stuff for a few days 478 00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:51,162 while the veneers set. Now, if you'll excuse me, 479 00:20:51,205 --> 00:20:53,077 I have to go kill the sheriff of Nottingham 480 00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:54,470 for being a little face. 481 00:20:55,775 --> 00:20:58,038 So, uh, sorry I knocked all your teeth out. 482 00:20:58,082 --> 00:20:59,779 I ended up only needing, like, ten of them. 483 00:20:59,823 --> 00:21:02,173 I was just happy you were following my orders. 484 00:21:02,216 --> 00:21:04,218 I'm sorry I doubted you, sir. 485 00:21:04,262 --> 00:21:06,371 I haven't always been the most supportive over the years, 486 00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:08,416 but at least now you know I'm definitely not gonna let you 487 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:09,963 self-sabotage anymore. 488 00:21:10,007 --> 00:21:12,401 So, maybe we can cool it on the reign of terror. 489 00:21:12,444 --> 00:21:15,099 Yeah. Yeah. That'll be, uh, interesting. 490 00:21:15,142 --> 00:21:16,187 Trust me, Mariner, 491 00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:18,189 you're gonna be a great officer. 492 00:21:18,232 --> 00:21:19,930 Just like me. 493 00:21:22,672 --> 00:21:24,258 - Congrats on the promotion, man. - Thanks. 494 00:21:24,282 --> 00:21:25,849 And great call on us being roommates. 495 00:21:25,892 --> 00:21:28,044 We're gonna get even better quarters than if we were alone. 496 00:21:28,068 --> 00:21:30,593 Oh, really? No way. 497 00:21:30,636 --> 00:21:31,811 Aah! 498 00:21:31,855 --> 00:21:34,248 No! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, this can't be happening. 499 00:21:34,292 --> 00:21:35,511 Whoa! That's bright. 500 00:21:35,554 --> 00:21:38,252 Just got to dim the view ports, 501 00:21:38,296 --> 00:21:40,211 and we're all set. 502 00:21:41,908 --> 00:21:44,258 Hope you don't mind me tinkering on projects all night. Ow! 503 00:21:44,302 --> 00:21:47,174 If you see any sparks, just stamp them out. 504 00:21:48,437 --> 00:21:50,177 Ooh! Ah... 505 00:21:52,615 --> 00:21:53,964 Huh. 506 00:21:54,007 --> 00:21:55,313 You know what? 507 00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:57,968 This is already starting to feel like home. 508 00:22:00,710 --> 00:22:03,408 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 509 00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,295 Chirp.