1
00:00:13,561 --> 00:00:16,399
Hey, dude, I don't remember
the password. Let me in.
2
00:00:16,432 --> 00:00:17,672
I think someone's following me.
3
00:00:17,702 --> 00:00:19,439
Who?
4
00:00:19,472 --> 00:00:21,176
Get in here.
It's the doc crew.
5
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:24,617
You, too. Come on.
6
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,186
When I ran away from Nandor,
7
00:00:26,219 --> 00:00:27,430
I didn't really
know where to go.
8
00:00:27,454 --> 00:00:30,294
Guillermo!
9
00:00:30,327 --> 00:00:33,801
So I just
flew for hours and hours.
10
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,404
Which was a little cool because
11
00:00:35,437 --> 00:00:37,208
that was the longest
I've ever stayed a bat.
12
00:00:37,241 --> 00:00:38,511
But also not cool
13
00:00:38,544 --> 00:00:40,214
because I knew Nandor was trying
14
00:00:40,247 --> 00:00:41,651
to track me down to kill me.
15
00:00:41,684 --> 00:00:43,788
Eventually, I just went
to Derek because...
16
00:00:43,821 --> 00:00:45,124
I had no one else to turn to.
17
00:00:45,157 --> 00:00:47,261
I've just been laying low,
18
00:00:47,294 --> 00:00:49,398
hiding for who knows how long.
19
00:00:50,768 --> 00:00:53,407
I wish they had Bravo here.
20
00:01:29,746 --> 00:01:31,291
I think there was a van
tailing me, they may have been
21
00:01:31,315 --> 00:01:32,284
- tailing you, too.
- Derek, that was them.
22
00:01:32,317 --> 00:01:33,921
Whoa.
23
00:01:33,954 --> 00:01:35,734
- You guys are good. Respect.
- Derek, just promise me
24
00:01:35,758 --> 00:01:37,562
you haven't told
anyone else that I'm here.
25
00:01:37,595 --> 00:01:39,509
Guillermo, who would I tell?
Literally. My neighbor Chad?
26
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,469
Because... yes,
actually, I did tell Chad.
27
00:01:41,503 --> 00:01:42,839
This is serious, okay?
28
00:01:42,872 --> 00:01:44,317
My master is actively
trying to kill me.
29
00:01:44,341 --> 00:01:45,712
Did you bring my meat?
30
00:01:45,745 --> 00:01:47,649
Yes, burgers, extra
rare, just like you asked.
31
00:01:47,682 --> 00:01:49,829
I tried hypnosis on the cashier
so I could get them for free.
32
00:01:49,853 --> 00:01:51,524
Turns out, I'm bad at it.
33
00:01:51,557 --> 00:01:52,835
So, um, I don't know
if you use Venmo
34
00:01:52,859 --> 00:01:53,937
or maybe you're a Zelle guy...
35
00:01:53,961 --> 00:01:56,399
These are not raw.
36
00:01:56,432 --> 00:01:58,352
I can taste that they've
kissed the grill, Derek.
37
00:02:06,954 --> 00:02:08,700
- Sup, bitch?
- What the hell are you doing here?
38
00:02:08,724 --> 00:02:10,227
Did anyone see you? Get inside.
39
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:11,405
No, and it wouldn't
matter if they did
40
00:02:11,429 --> 00:02:13,935
because, hello, I'm in disguise.
41
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,170
Stop dancing, get inside.
42
00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:16,607
How did you find me?
43
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,352
Your friend Derek told
me where you were hiding.
44
00:02:18,376 --> 00:02:19,622
I paid him a little visit
45
00:02:19,646 --> 00:02:21,483
earlier today, see?
46
00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:22,719
So, that was you.
47
00:02:22,752 --> 00:02:24,288
Who did you think it was?
48
00:02:24,321 --> 00:02:26,359
She told me her name
was Detective Policeman.
49
00:02:26,392 --> 00:02:28,339
- That's funny.
- I'm gonna need you to do me a favor, buddy.
50
00:02:28,363 --> 00:02:32,672
Can you go to the market
and get me some raw, raw meat
51
00:02:32,705 --> 00:02:34,619
and make sure you don't
tell anyone where I'm at.
52
00:02:34,643 --> 00:02:35,854
- Can you do that?
- Can do, can do.
53
00:02:35,878 --> 00:02:37,549
- Thank you, buddy.
- Okay, great.
54
00:02:37,582 --> 00:02:38,794
- Okay. Thanks so much.
- See you guys in a minute.
55
00:02:38,818 --> 00:02:40,522
Idiot.
56
00:02:40,555 --> 00:02:42,893
Guillermo. Sit.
57
00:02:42,926 --> 00:02:46,466
You simply cannot talk to
the vampire who turned you
58
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,303
with such disrespect.
59
00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:50,340
That is a sacred relationship.
60
00:02:50,373 --> 00:02:51,844
You have to protect him.
61
00:02:51,877 --> 00:02:53,815
Like we protect the
Baron and the Sire.
62
00:02:53,848 --> 00:02:56,453
If anything was to
happen to that stupid man,
63
00:02:56,486 --> 00:02:58,958
the effects for you, my
friend, would be catastrophic.
64
00:02:58,991 --> 00:03:00,762
Yes.
65
00:03:00,795 --> 00:03:02,608
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have
spoken to Derek like that.
66
00:03:02,632 --> 00:03:04,745
I'm just a little bit on edge
with the whole, you know...
67
00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:06,306
Nandor trying to kill you thing.
68
00:03:06,339 --> 00:03:08,511
- Awkward.
- Which, by the way, um...
69
00:03:08,544 --> 00:03:09,713
Any progress on that end?
70
00:03:09,746 --> 00:03:11,817
Yeah, um, a little.
71
00:03:11,850 --> 00:03:12,819
- You talked to him?
- Yeah.
72
00:03:12,852 --> 00:03:14,255
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
73
00:03:14,288 --> 00:03:15,390
What'd he say?
74
00:03:15,423 --> 00:03:17,495
Nandor, come on.
75
00:03:17,529 --> 00:03:18,831
I'm gonna murder him!
76
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,504
Maybe if I write him a letter...
77
00:03:21,537 --> 00:03:24,242
Yeah, like if you wrote
him a suicide note,
78
00:03:24,275 --> 00:03:25,879
and actually
followed through on it,
79
00:03:25,912 --> 00:03:28,751
then that would
probably cool him down.
80
00:03:31,857 --> 00:03:34,596
Wow. They're really
going at it, aren't they?
81
00:03:35,765 --> 00:03:37,936
Why did I do this?
82
00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:39,807
Look, relationships evolve.
83
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,753
Like me and those Antipaxon
people who work at the diner.
84
00:03:41,777 --> 00:03:45,518
At first, I was just using
them to get rid of my hex.
85
00:03:45,551 --> 00:03:47,454
But then it turned out...
86
00:03:47,487 --> 00:03:49,560
I really like hanging
out with those guys.
87
00:03:49,593 --> 00:03:51,296
I know you didn't mean...
88
00:03:51,329 --> 00:03:52,708
I know you didn't mean
89
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,068
for things to turn out this way,
90
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:56,005
but I think it's time
91
00:03:56,038 --> 00:03:57,441
you need to accept...
You know what?
92
00:03:57,474 --> 00:03:59,278
Hang on, I cannot
take this anymore!
93
00:03:59,311 --> 00:04:00,748
Yeah!
94
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,489
It's hard, you know.
95
00:04:04,523 --> 00:04:05,934
To
Know that you've done something,
96
00:04:05,958 --> 00:04:08,664
that you messed
up but you can't...
97
00:04:08,697 --> 00:04:10,802
fix it and...
98
00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:13,039
And she's joined them.
99
00:04:14,543 --> 00:04:18,316
Night after night, I hunt.
100
00:04:18,349 --> 00:04:22,692
I cannot rest until Guillermo
has taken his last breath
101
00:04:22,725 --> 00:04:25,632
and I feel his bones
crunch under my boots.
102
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,736
So I've been
watching the one place
103
00:04:27,769 --> 00:04:30,909
I know he will
return to eventually...
104
00:04:30,942 --> 00:04:32,979
Panera Bread.
105
00:04:33,012 --> 00:04:34,983
I've got you now.
106
00:04:35,016 --> 00:04:36,720
He can run,
107
00:04:36,753 --> 00:04:38,524
but he cannot run far.
108
00:04:38,557 --> 00:04:40,661
Because he has very short legs.
109
00:04:43,099 --> 00:04:45,838
Guillermo, now you will die.
110
00:04:45,871 --> 00:04:48,043
I-I didn't do anything.
111
00:04:48,076 --> 00:04:51,784
Those that betray me will pay
the ultimate price, Guillermo.
112
00:04:51,817 --> 00:04:53,119
And this disguise
113
00:04:53,152 --> 00:04:54,823
that has slightly
altered your appearance
114
00:04:54,856 --> 00:04:56,125
does not fool me.
115
00:04:56,158 --> 00:04:57,862
I'm not Guillermo!
I'm not Guillermo!
116
00:04:57,895 --> 00:05:00,067
I'm Patton Oswalt. I'm an actor.
117
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,037
- Patton Oswalt?
- Yeah.
118
00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:03,507
- An actor?
- Yes!
119
00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:04,877
What would I know you from?
120
00:05:04,910 --> 00:05:06,680
- I was in Ratatouille.
- Is that a movie?
121
00:05:06,713 --> 00:05:08,584
It's... It was animated.
122
00:05:08,617 --> 00:05:09,786
I was the voice of a rat.
123
00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:12,091
I prefer live action.
124
00:05:12,124 --> 00:05:13,694
Do you know John Slattery?
125
00:05:13,727 --> 00:05:15,531
I don't know him
personally, I know of him.
126
00:05:15,564 --> 00:05:17,535
- He seems really cool.
- He is.
127
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:20,040
Yes, I-I'm gonna pass out...
128
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:27,154
My apologies, Patton Oswalt.
129
00:05:27,187 --> 00:05:29,458
You are respectful,
unlike Guillermo.
130
00:05:29,491 --> 00:05:30,962
I have been lying
in wait for him
131
00:05:30,995 --> 00:05:32,899
on the top of that
building there.
132
00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:34,035
It's only a matter of time
133
00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:36,072
before he returns
to Panera Bread,
134
00:05:36,105 --> 00:05:38,410
like a gazelle to
his watering hole.
135
00:05:38,443 --> 00:05:41,850
And when he does, I will strike.
136
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,921
Are you sure it's
that Panera Bread?
137
00:05:43,954 --> 00:05:45,601
- What do you mean?
- There's a lot of Panera Breads.
138
00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:47,562
They're... They're
all over the city.
139
00:05:47,595 --> 00:05:48,630
Shit.
140
00:05:52,939 --> 00:05:54,576
- -Who is it?
- Gigi?
141
00:05:54,609 --> 00:05:56,580
- Hello.
- What are you doing here?
142
00:05:56,613 --> 00:05:58,149
- How did you find me?
- I just...
143
00:05:58,182 --> 00:06:01,624
took a map of Staten
Island and laid it over a grid
144
00:06:01,657 --> 00:06:03,168
and looked for any
motel that shared a square
145
00:06:03,192 --> 00:06:05,865
with an Arby's, a party
store or a sweater shop.
146
00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:07,736
Well, I'm not near
any of those things.
147
00:06:07,769 --> 00:06:09,773
Yeah, I know, so
I just asked Nadja.
148
00:06:09,806 --> 00:06:11,977
Great. What do you want?
149
00:06:12,010 --> 00:06:14,148
First off, I just want
to wish you good luck.
150
00:06:14,181 --> 00:06:17,154
You're a nice enough
guy caught in a bad sitch.
151
00:06:17,187 --> 00:06:20,127
I-I don't think any of us were
hoping for this outcome for you.
152
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,864
Thank you.
153
00:06:21,897 --> 00:06:26,005
Secondly, I am here to
conduct your exit interview,
154
00:06:26,038 --> 00:06:28,143
from your job as a familiar.
155
00:06:28,176 --> 00:06:30,748
And also your life, so...
156
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:34,155
Have a seat. I don't want to
take up too much of your time,
157
00:06:34,188 --> 00:06:36,894
I know it's valuable.
158
00:06:36,927 --> 00:06:39,498
Because there's
so little of it left.
159
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:40,702
Okay.
160
00:06:40,735 --> 00:06:44,208
Familiar exit
interview, 10:47 p.m.,
161
00:06:44,241 --> 00:06:47,014
Colin Robinson
conducting interview.
162
00:06:47,047 --> 00:06:48,551
Um, Mr. de la "Cruzz,"
163
00:06:48,584 --> 00:06:51,890
what's prompting
you to leave your job?
164
00:06:51,923 --> 00:06:53,561
Nandor trying to kill me.
165
00:06:53,594 --> 00:06:56,800
And... what was your
salary as a familiar?
166
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,537
I don't get paid.
167
00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:01,643
No, but
honestly, for this to work,
168
00:07:01,676 --> 00:07:03,681
I kind of need
a ballpark figure.
169
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,183
$500, $550 a week?
170
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,787
I don't get paid.
171
00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:08,557
And do you think
we can get away with
172
00:07:08,590 --> 00:07:10,528
not paying the next person?
173
00:07:10,561 --> 00:07:12,799
Okay. This interview's over.
174
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,972
Interview concluded by subject
175
00:07:16,005 --> 00:07:19,713
who was cooperative and
at times almost articulate.
176
00:07:19,746 --> 00:07:21,058
Okay, thank you.
177
00:07:21,082 --> 00:07:23,086
This is just from me.
178
00:07:23,119 --> 00:07:25,525
It was nice having
you in the house.
179
00:07:25,558 --> 00:07:26,960
Thanks, Colin.
180
00:07:26,993 --> 00:07:30,601
"Jay Sturkel, Quarter
Four Sales Leader, 1977."
181
00:07:30,634 --> 00:07:34,509
I got it at estate sale,
but y-you get the drift.
182
00:07:35,845 --> 00:07:37,915
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
183
00:07:39,017 --> 00:07:42,726
I think what bugs me the most
184
00:07:42,759 --> 00:07:44,896
is that I have given
Guillermo my friendship.
185
00:07:44,929 --> 00:07:47,836
This is a gift I do not
give to just anyone.
186
00:07:47,869 --> 00:07:51,543
You know, friendship
has to be... earned.
187
00:07:51,576 --> 00:07:53,113
How is your, um...
188
00:07:53,146 --> 00:07:54,616
- Turkey Bacon Bravo.
- Yes.
189
00:07:54,649 --> 00:07:56,018
It is, it's good.
190
00:07:56,051 --> 00:07:57,230
And I usually get the
bread bowls here...
191
00:07:57,254 --> 00:07:58,958
I think what it is
192
00:07:58,991 --> 00:08:02,063
is that I thought
Guillermo had earned it.
193
00:08:03,801 --> 00:08:06,707
You are a good
listener, Patton Oswalt.
194
00:08:06,740 --> 00:08:08,318
You know, it's funny
because something like this
195
00:08:08,342 --> 00:08:10,848
happened with me a couple
years ago with my manager, we...
196
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:12,986
Shh. Just listen.
197
00:08:13,019 --> 00:08:15,290
We are not talking
about you right now,
198
00:08:15,323 --> 00:08:17,027
are we, Patton Oswalt?
199
00:08:17,060 --> 00:08:18,864
No, we're not.
200
00:08:18,897 --> 00:08:21,035
- So, go on.
- Thank you.
201
00:08:27,782 --> 00:08:29,586
Who is it?
202
00:08:29,619 --> 00:08:31,255
Housekeeping.
203
00:08:31,288 --> 00:08:33,268
-I should ask how you
found out where... -Shh, shh.
204
00:08:33,292 --> 00:08:34,294
What?
205
00:08:35,798 --> 00:08:38,002
I'm guessing you're
content with your...
206
00:08:38,035 --> 00:08:39,773
toilet paper situation?
207
00:08:39,806 --> 00:08:41,209
Yes, thank you.
208
00:08:41,242 --> 00:08:43,012
All right.
209
00:08:43,045 --> 00:08:44,749
Then I will...
210
00:08:44,782 --> 00:08:47,354
leave you to watch the
television for the evening.
211
00:08:47,387 --> 00:08:50,160
And I will say... goodbye.
212
00:08:50,193 --> 00:08:51,897
- Sit down.
- What's going on?
213
00:08:51,930 --> 00:08:54,870
I must apologize, Gizmo,
I feel like I've let you down.
214
00:08:54,903 --> 00:08:56,205
All those science experiments,
215
00:08:56,238 --> 00:08:57,876
they were nothing
but a blind alley.
216
00:08:57,909 --> 00:08:59,679
Laszlo, you tried your best.
217
00:08:59,712 --> 00:09:01,282
No, there's been something I...
218
00:09:01,315 --> 00:09:02,886
You-you should
probably put something on
219
00:09:02,919 --> 00:09:04,288
that's a bit louder than this.
220
00:09:04,321 --> 00:09:06,292
Otherwise, it won't
drown our voices out.
221
00:09:06,325 --> 00:09:08,029
That's better.
222
00:09:08,062 --> 00:09:11,169
I've known you since
you were a young familiar.
223
00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:13,039
And I may have been
hard on you in the past,
224
00:09:13,072 --> 00:09:15,177
and...
225
00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:16,780
Could you put something that...
226
00:09:16,813 --> 00:09:18,784
is as loud but less percussive?
227
00:09:18,817 --> 00:09:20,262
Sport, yes, that's better.
228
00:09:20,286 --> 00:09:22,224
And I say, does
that thing have any...
229
00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,629
programs of the adult variety?
230
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,201
I suppose, yeah.
231
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,706
There you go.
232
00:09:29,739 --> 00:09:31,944
You were saying?
233
00:09:31,977 --> 00:09:33,046
Sorry?
234
00:09:33,079 --> 00:09:34,315
- You were saying?
- Yes.
235
00:09:34,348 --> 00:09:35,918
I was saying...
236
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,657
I've known you since you were...
237
00:09:38,690 --> 00:09:40,327
a young fa...
238
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,064
What do you think
they're gonna do?
239
00:09:42,097 --> 00:09:43,667
- Yeah, Laszlo...
- Yes, yes,
240
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:46,272
s-sorry, since you
were a young familiar.
241
00:09:46,305 --> 00:09:48,978
And, I'm about to
tell you something now
242
00:09:49,011 --> 00:09:50,748
that I've never told
anyone else before.
243
00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:54,723
- L-Laszlo?
- Good grief.
244
00:09:54,756 --> 00:09:56,292
You were going to
tell me something
245
00:09:56,325 --> 00:09:58,363
- you never told anyone before...?
- Shh.
246
00:09:58,396 --> 00:10:00,000
You might have to
give me a minute.
247
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,803
So, yeah, even Laszlo came by.
248
00:10:01,836 --> 00:10:03,339
If I would've known how...
249
00:10:03,372 --> 00:10:05,010
my last couple of
days would play out,
250
00:10:05,043 --> 00:10:06,713
how the last couple of months...
251
00:10:06,746 --> 00:10:08,225
I would've never
asked Derek to turn me.
252
00:10:08,249 --> 00:10:10,120
It's not that I
don't want to die,
253
00:10:10,153 --> 00:10:11,999
and trust me, I really,
really don't want to die,
254
00:10:12,023 --> 00:10:15,698
but I'm just more afraid
of losing the vampires.
255
00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:17,100
My friends.
256
00:10:17,133 --> 00:10:18,880
I always figured if I got
turned into a vampire
257
00:10:18,904 --> 00:10:21,442
that it would... bring
me closer to them.
258
00:10:21,475 --> 00:10:24,414
But it's just left me feeling
more alone than ever.
259
00:10:25,183 --> 00:10:27,989
Nandor, can I ask
you a question?
260
00:10:28,022 --> 00:10:29,759
Yes, Patton Oswalt.
261
00:10:29,792 --> 00:10:33,166
Your friendship with
Guillermo is very special, right?
262
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,370
I thought it was.
263
00:10:35,403 --> 00:10:38,109
And I bet...
264
00:10:38,142 --> 00:10:40,748
killing a friend...
265
00:10:40,781 --> 00:10:42,184
would really hurt.
266
00:10:42,217 --> 00:10:44,388
I imagine it would be
one of the worst feelings
267
00:10:44,421 --> 00:10:46,158
a person could have.
268
00:10:46,191 --> 00:10:48,396
So, what if you...
269
00:10:48,429 --> 00:10:50,400
repair the friendship?
270
00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:52,137
- You repair it...
- So you're saying
271
00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:55,143
that I should not
kill my former friend?
272
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,414
- Yes, you-you...
- This is your suggestion?
273
00:10:57,447 --> 00:10:59,084
Well, you know, you rebuild...
274
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:01,757
After hearing my tale
of deceit and betrayal?
275
00:11:01,790 --> 00:11:05,230
All that betray me
must be destroyed.
276
00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:07,234
-Wait, wait... -Goodbye,
Patton Oswalt.
277
00:11:12,077 --> 00:11:14,247
He does make a
good point, though.
278
00:11:18,824 --> 00:11:20,984
arm, and a
block of... -
279
00:11:21,963 --> 00:11:23,366
Of course.
280
00:11:23,399 --> 00:11:27,775
Hi. I just came by to
pay you my condolences.
281
00:11:27,808 --> 00:11:31,182
"Sorry for your
loss of your life."
282
00:11:31,215 --> 00:11:33,754
Is there anyone who
doesn't know that I'm here?
283
00:11:33,787 --> 00:11:36,158
Well, I'm usually the last
one to know, so probably not.
284
00:11:36,191 --> 00:11:37,461
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
285
00:11:37,494 --> 00:11:39,131
And then I also
brought some friends
286
00:11:39,164 --> 00:11:40,768
who wanted to say goodbye.
287
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,337
Hiya, Daddy.
288
00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:44,375
- Hey.
- Guide lady said you're going off
289
00:11:44,408 --> 00:11:45,452
- to a big, beautiful...
- Hey, big guy.
290
00:11:45,476 --> 00:11:47,447
Farm in the sky.
291
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,285
Can we come?
292
00:11:49,318 --> 00:11:50,888
- No, buddy.
- Aw.
293
00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:55,063
There's no room at the farm.
294
00:11:55,096 --> 00:11:56,867
"In the death of a good man,
295
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:59,004
eternity is seen
looking through time."
296
00:11:59,037 --> 00:12:00,841
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
297
00:12:00,874 --> 00:12:03,212
Okay.
298
00:12:03,245 --> 00:12:04,949
So...
299
00:12:04,982 --> 00:12:06,052
Sorry.
300
00:12:06,085 --> 00:12:07,889
Hola, Ma.
301
00:12:07,922 --> 00:12:09,859
Hello, Guillermo.
302
00:12:09,892 --> 00:12:11,897
I've been looking for you.
303
00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:13,567
Where are you?
304
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,873
I'm right here having a nice
conversation with your mother.
305
00:12:16,906 --> 00:12:19,445
In her apartment.
Where she lives.
306
00:12:19,478 --> 00:12:21,015
My mother has
nothing to do with this.
307
00:12:21,048 --> 00:12:22,518
If you touch her, I swear...
308
00:12:25,891 --> 00:12:27,571
Well, you know where I am.
Why don't you come over here
309
00:12:27,595 --> 00:12:29,365
and we can discuss
what happens next.
310
00:12:30,534 --> 00:12:32,404
- I have to go.
- Bye, Daddy.
311
00:12:32,437 --> 00:12:34,050
Have you checked out already?
Or is it okay if we hang here?
312
00:12:34,074 --> 00:12:35,811
He's not coming back.
313
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,217
Come on, you stupid...
314
00:12:42,390 --> 00:12:44,529
- Get away from her.
- Guillermo.
315
00:12:48,603 --> 00:12:49,839
I'll be back, okay?
316
00:12:49,872 --> 00:12:50,908
¿Cómo está, mijo?
317
00:12:50,941 --> 00:12:52,879
- Hey, Mami.
- Mwah.
318
00:12:52,912 --> 00:12:54,582
Don't be long, Sylvia.
319
00:12:54,615 --> 00:12:56,419
Still want to see the
photographs of Guillermo
320
00:12:56,452 --> 00:12:58,423
in this gotico phase.
321
00:12:58,456 --> 00:12:59,859
You can kill me if you want,
322
00:12:59,892 --> 00:13:01,004
but you leave her
out of this, okay?
323
00:13:01,028 --> 00:13:02,431
I know I could kill you.
324
00:13:02,464 --> 00:13:04,334
And you'd deserve it.
325
00:13:09,545 --> 00:13:12,484
But I have decided not to.
326
00:13:12,518 --> 00:13:14,021
Yeah, well, I don't believe you.
327
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:16,358
No, of course you don't.
328
00:13:16,391 --> 00:13:19,398
But something
happened recently and...
329
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:21,202
it's made me change my mind.
330
00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:24,509
- Yeah? What?
- My friend Patton Oswalt.
331
00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:27,515
He passed away quite
suddenly. And, um...
332
00:13:27,548 --> 00:13:31,021
it didn't feel good
losing a friend.
333
00:13:31,054 --> 00:13:33,059
How do I know
you're telling the truth?
334
00:13:33,092 --> 00:13:34,863
Because I give you
my word as a vampire.
335
00:13:34,896 --> 00:13:38,637
- Not good enough.
- Then I give you my word...
336
00:13:38,670 --> 00:13:40,206
as a warrior.
337
00:13:46,986 --> 00:13:49,324
Translation:
338
00:13:49,357 --> 00:13:51,161
"If I'm lying...
339
00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:54,502
then kill me now."
340
00:14:04,354 --> 00:14:05,490
Then it is settled.
341
00:14:05,524 --> 00:14:07,494
You'll come home with me, alive.
342
00:14:07,528 --> 00:14:08,630
Mami, no!
343
00:14:11,335 --> 00:14:12,471
Wow, that worked.
344
00:14:15,677 --> 00:14:17,147
We return with news.
345
00:14:17,180 --> 00:14:19,686
I no longer plan
to kill Guillermo.
346
00:14:19,719 --> 00:14:21,222
- Yay.
- Yay.
347
00:14:21,255 --> 00:14:22,601
He will live here in
this house, with us,
348
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:24,394
as an equal.
349
00:14:24,427 --> 00:14:26,098
As a vampire.
350
00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:29,138
- Boo.
- Where once we were four, we are now five.
351
00:14:29,171 --> 00:14:30,541
I think your math is off.
352
00:14:30,574 --> 00:14:32,578
If I had known Gizmo
was going to stay with us,
353
00:14:32,611 --> 00:14:34,949
I would've said just kill
him and be done with it.
354
00:14:34,982 --> 00:14:36,586
Where is he going to sit?
355
00:14:36,619 --> 00:14:38,431
I-I'm not giving up my seat.
So where is he going to sit?
356
00:14:38,455 --> 00:14:42,030
Hold on a second. Gizmo
cannot fully become a vampire
357
00:14:42,063 --> 00:14:43,667
due to his Van Helsing blood.
358
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:45,270
Laszlo, Laszlo,
359
00:14:45,303 --> 00:14:47,407
with all your experiments
and your notetaking,
360
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,679
and your weird-ass,
hybrid freaks,
361
00:14:49,712 --> 00:14:52,217
you never thought of
the simplest solution.
362
00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:55,724
- Which is?
- You never got Guillermo to drink human blood.
363
00:14:55,757 --> 00:15:00,132
- Wait. Y-You never thought of that?
- Shut up.
364
00:15:01,503 --> 00:15:03,640
- I don't think I can do this.
- You must.
365
00:15:03,673 --> 00:15:05,243
Or else you'll be
eternally frozen
366
00:15:05,276 --> 00:15:07,581
in this painful, unending
limbo. Now drink.
367
00:15:09,017 --> 00:15:10,453
Come on, Guillermo.
368
00:15:10,486 --> 00:15:12,233
- Drink, bitch.
- Yeah, drink it, bitch.
369
00:15:12,257 --> 00:15:14,203
- Yes. -Drink it.
- Swallow it all.
370
00:15:14,227 --> 00:15:15,673
- Drink. Drink.
- Suck on it, baby. Come on, drink!
371
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,568
- Swallow it.
- Drink. Drink. -Oi, drink.
372
00:15:17,601 --> 00:15:19,761
- Drink. Drink.
- Drink it. Take it like a man.
373
00:15:21,609 --> 00:15:23,246
Fangs.
374
00:15:23,279 --> 00:15:25,718
Wow.
375
00:15:25,751 --> 00:15:27,354
I've never felt more alive.
376
00:15:27,387 --> 00:15:29,258
I really should've
thought of that.
377
00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:30,393
I'm a vampire.
378
00:15:30,426 --> 00:15:31,696
I'm a vampire!
379
00:15:31,729 --> 00:15:35,170
- I'm a vampire!
- Yahoo.
380
00:15:35,203 --> 00:15:36,238
Yep.
381
00:15:36,271 --> 00:15:37,742
Nicely done.
382
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:44,154
One sip of blood and he's
like Cornholio over here.
383
00:15:44,187 --> 00:15:45,356
Yes.
384
00:15:45,389 --> 00:15:46,526
He likes that.
385
00:15:46,559 --> 00:15:48,229
Ooh.
386
00:15:48,262 --> 00:15:51,202
Behold what I've become.
387
00:15:51,235 --> 00:15:53,306
Yes, yes, we've all been there.
388
00:15:53,339 --> 00:15:55,076
Why are we all
sitting on our asses?
389
00:15:55,109 --> 00:15:56,746
Let's do something!
What do we do next?
390
00:15:56,779 --> 00:15:57,782
Get a broom.
391
00:15:57,815 --> 00:15:59,752
Now, we hunt!
392
00:15:59,785 --> 00:16:02,558
I'm sorry, Mommy needs to eat.
393
00:16:02,591 --> 00:16:04,294
Hunt, hunt, hunt!
394
00:16:04,327 --> 00:16:05,496
Hunt, hunt!
395
00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:07,266
FOMO.
396
00:16:12,443 --> 00:16:14,014
Which reminds me,
397
00:16:14,047 --> 00:16:16,653
what's the fastest way
to become a millionaire?
398
00:16:16,686 --> 00:16:20,460
You start as a billionaire
and buy a winery.
399
00:16:20,493 --> 00:16:23,099
Just a little
wine humor for you.
400
00:16:24,467 --> 00:16:25,680
Sommeliers are a dying breed...
401
00:16:25,704 --> 00:16:28,309
I've eaten too
much. I feel sick.
402
00:16:28,342 --> 00:16:29,746
Go on, Guillermo.
403
00:16:29,779 --> 00:16:32,785
I bonked this one on
the head just for you.
404
00:16:32,818 --> 00:16:34,454
They're much
easier to drain and kill
405
00:16:34,487 --> 00:16:36,225
when they're not
wriggling around.
406
00:16:36,258 --> 00:16:38,296
No, I-I'm actually
not that hungry.
407
00:16:38,329 --> 00:16:41,068
Okay, well, FYI, if you leave
them hanging around too long
408
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:44,742
when they're unconscious,
their blood, it loses its zing.
409
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,351
I've never killed anyone before.
410
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:52,157
I mean, I guess
dozens of vampires.
411
00:16:52,190 --> 00:16:53,760
And I did bring humans
412
00:16:53,793 --> 00:16:55,598
to the vampires so
they could kill them.
413
00:16:55,631 --> 00:16:56,833
And I've dismembered,
414
00:16:56,866 --> 00:16:58,704
like, a ton of dead bodies.
415
00:16:58,737 --> 00:17:01,275
But back at the restaurant,
that was a real living person.
416
00:17:01,308 --> 00:17:03,513
And when I leaned in to take...
417
00:17:03,546 --> 00:17:04,515
I could...
418
00:17:04,548 --> 00:17:07,220
smell their shampoo
419
00:17:07,253 --> 00:17:09,157
and all I kept thinking was
420
00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:10,561
this guy was at CVS
421
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:12,497
just sniffing away
all these shampoos
422
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,434
and says, "I
think I'll get this one
423
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,907
because it reminds me of where
I used to go camping as a kid."
424
00:17:18,242 --> 00:17:20,113
I can't do this, I'm
sorry. Could we...
425
00:17:20,146 --> 00:17:22,316
I can't...
426
00:17:34,542 --> 00:17:36,646
Just as I feared.
427
00:17:38,148 --> 00:17:41,555
Guillermo is not cut
out to be a vampire.
428
00:17:42,658 --> 00:17:45,129
I will fix.
429
00:17:50,139 --> 00:17:51,308
You summoned me?
430
00:17:51,341 --> 00:17:53,379
Yes, I wish for Guillermo...
431
00:17:53,412 --> 00:17:56,118
You ran out of
wishes a long time ago.
432
00:17:56,151 --> 00:17:57,597
Have you just been
carrying me around?
433
00:17:57,621 --> 00:17:59,291
Maybe.
434
00:17:59,324 --> 00:18:00,728
Yeah.
435
00:18:00,761 --> 00:18:02,230
Okay, well...
436
00:18:02,263 --> 00:18:04,535
Nice to see you
again. You can...
437
00:18:04,568 --> 00:18:06,271
Can't I stretch
my legs a little?
438
00:18:06,304 --> 00:18:08,342
I wish I could help you, but...
439
00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:10,379
- That's very funny.
- Get in the fucking lamp.
440
00:18:14,855 --> 00:18:17,427
I didn't even know there
was a special ceremony for...
441
00:18:17,460 --> 00:18:19,565
Wait, what was the
ceremony called again?
442
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:22,370
The Ceremony of
Vampiric Transmogrification.
443
00:18:22,403 --> 00:18:23,472
Don't be nervous,
444
00:18:23,506 --> 00:18:24,742
we have all been through it.
445
00:18:24,775 --> 00:18:26,880
Well, is it scary?
446
00:18:26,913 --> 00:18:28,884
Nothing you cannot handle.
447
00:18:28,917 --> 00:18:31,589
The ancient ceremony will
help hasten you along your path.
448
00:18:34,695 --> 00:18:35,931
It is time.
449
00:18:35,964 --> 00:18:37,601
Are you ready?
450
00:18:37,634 --> 00:18:39,437
I am.
451
00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:44,949
Hey.
452
00:18:44,982 --> 00:18:46,653
Derek is here, too?
453
00:18:46,686 --> 00:18:48,957
Yes. Fucking guy.
454
00:18:48,990 --> 00:18:52,230
But ancient ritual dictates
that he must be present.
455
00:18:52,263 --> 00:18:54,702
- Come on.
- Hey, everyone.
456
00:18:54,735 --> 00:18:56,472
Hello.
457
00:18:56,506 --> 00:18:57,641
- Derek.
- Hey.
458
00:19:00,881 --> 00:19:04,555
Vampires all, gather we
here in the dark of night?
459
00:19:04,588 --> 00:19:05,824
We do.
460
00:19:05,857 --> 00:19:08,429
We have made of
ourselves a circle?
461
00:19:08,462 --> 00:19:10,275
- The circle... -The circle unbroken.
- Unbroken.
462
00:19:10,299 --> 00:19:12,872
We gather
here in a circle unbroken
463
00:19:12,905 --> 00:19:15,410
at the crossroads
between life and death.
464
00:19:15,443 --> 00:19:18,984
Guillermo de la Cruz,
are you prepared?
465
00:19:19,017 --> 00:19:20,621
I am.
466
00:19:20,654 --> 00:19:23,459
Guillermo de la Cruz,
are you of sound mind
467
00:19:23,492 --> 00:19:24,896
and strong of body?
468
00:19:24,929 --> 00:19:26,398
I am.
469
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:27,701
A choice will be made.
470
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,972
This choice can
only be made by you.
471
00:19:30,005 --> 00:19:33,279
We vampires here
are only witnesses.
472
00:19:33,312 --> 00:19:36,351
Mistress of Ceremony,
prepare the flames.
473
00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:37,821
That's me.
474
00:19:38,923 --> 00:19:40,694
Nicely done.
475
00:19:40,727 --> 00:19:44,702
Guillermo de la Cruz, I will
now ask you one question.
476
00:19:44,735 --> 00:19:47,608
The answer must
come from your heart.
477
00:19:47,641 --> 00:19:49,545
For this is the last time
478
00:19:49,578 --> 00:19:51,583
you get to make
this final choice.
479
00:19:51,616 --> 00:19:53,687
Do I make myself clear?
480
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:57,661
Would you rather be a human...
481
00:19:59,430 --> 00:20:01,000
or vampire?
482
00:20:09,685 --> 00:20:11,287
A human.
483
00:20:14,962 --> 00:20:16,566
As I predicted.
484
00:20:16,599 --> 00:20:17,877
It's not that I don't
want to be a vampire,
485
00:20:17,901 --> 00:20:19,337
- I really, really do.
- Sure.
486
00:20:19,370 --> 00:20:20,741
It's all the killing.
487
00:20:20,774 --> 00:20:22,443
You can spare us
the details, it's fine.
488
00:20:22,476 --> 00:20:24,615
You want to be a human,
there's no shame in that.
489
00:20:24,648 --> 00:20:26,060
- We're gonna make it happen.
- Wait, what?
490
00:20:26,084 --> 00:20:29,692
Mistress of Ceremony,
distribute the hoods.
491
00:20:29,725 --> 00:20:31,328
That's me again.
492
00:20:31,361 --> 00:20:34,434
- You're doing a great job.
- Thank you, Derek.
493
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,047
- Can I get a smaller...
- They're unisex.
494
00:20:36,071 --> 00:20:37,817
- It's a one size fits all situation? Okay.
- Yep.
495
00:20:37,841 --> 00:20:39,779
Do I get a hood, or...
496
00:20:39,812 --> 00:20:40,781
- Hurry it up.
- I have one for you, too.
497
00:20:40,814 --> 00:20:42,383
Thank you.
498
00:20:42,416 --> 00:20:45,657
We blind ourselves
that none may witness.
499
00:20:45,690 --> 00:20:47,460
Hoods on, everyone.
500
00:20:55,610 --> 00:20:58,315
Very nice.
Proceed to position two.
501
00:20:59,852 --> 00:21:01,364
I'm sorry,
w-what's position two?
502
00:21:01,388 --> 00:21:02,791
Just as you are,
Derek, that's fine.
503
00:21:02,824 --> 00:21:05,564
- Wait, what?
- It is the only way, Guillermo.
504
00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:07,601
- W-Won't I die, too?
- No.
505
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:09,805
You'll go back to how you
were when you were turned.
506
00:21:09,838 --> 00:21:12,410
You'll just get a month
older really quickly.
507
00:21:12,443 --> 00:21:13,813
There's got to be another way.
508
00:21:13,846 --> 00:21:15,751
There's no other way.
509
00:21:15,784 --> 00:21:17,921
It is the only way.
510
00:21:38,495 --> 00:21:40,099
- I can't do this.
- Knew it.
511
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,045
I'm sorry, can't do
what? What am I missing?
512
00:21:42,069 --> 00:21:43,038
Just keep that hood
on, Derek. You're doing great.
513
00:21:43,071 --> 00:21:44,040
Thank you.
514
00:21:44,073 --> 00:21:46,010
You want me to do it?
515
00:21:47,948 --> 00:21:50,119
- I don't know.
- I do.
516
00:21:50,152 --> 00:21:51,722
Give me that.
517
00:21:55,764 --> 00:21:58,837
Guillermo, you okay?
518
00:21:58,870 --> 00:22:00,616
- Whoa! Um...
- Shit.
519
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,443
Everything's kind of blurry.
520
00:22:02,476 --> 00:22:04,013
I think I need my old glasses.
521
00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:07,487
- Here.
- Thank you.
522
00:22:07,521 --> 00:22:08,957
Well, that was fun.
523
00:22:08,990 --> 00:22:10,603
Can we turn the regular
lights on now, please?
524
00:22:10,627 --> 00:22:12,865
Sure. Can somebody
help me pick up all these
525
00:22:12,898 --> 00:22:15,002
hoods and robes?
526
00:22:15,035 --> 00:22:16,915
Just leave them.
Garfield will pick 'em up later.
527
00:22:16,939 --> 00:22:20,112
I must say, the, the
banners are a lovely touch.
528
00:22:20,145 --> 00:22:21,583
You know, I like them, too.
529
00:22:21,616 --> 00:22:22,851
What do they mean?
530
00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:24,622
I don't know, to
be honest, Baron.
531
00:22:24,655 --> 00:22:26,926
I just wanted something
that looked cool and creepy.
532
00:22:26,959 --> 00:22:28,462
Very nice, yes.
533
00:22:30,165 --> 00:22:32,504
We have a sitter waiting at
home, so we're gonna head out.
534
00:22:32,537 --> 00:22:34,116
- Good evening.
- Kalinychta. - Bye.
535
00:22:34,140 --> 00:22:36,613
Anyone up
for a game of parcheesi?
536
00:22:36,646 --> 00:22:38,082
Maybe a movie.
537
00:22:38,115 --> 00:22:39,527
- I'm zonked.
- The Brothers McMullin?
538
00:22:39,551 --> 00:22:40,830
That wasn't even a
real ceremony, was it?
539
00:22:40,854 --> 00:22:42,558
No.
540
00:22:42,591 --> 00:22:45,631
I found the robes in a
box in the attic and...
541
00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:48,034
the candles I think we
got from a Home Depot?
542
00:22:50,674 --> 00:22:52,578
I'm sorry, Guillermo.
543
00:22:52,611 --> 00:22:53,889
It was the only way
for you to figure out
544
00:22:53,913 --> 00:22:55,717
what you actually wanted.
545
00:22:55,750 --> 00:22:58,489
It was a horrible
and hard decision.
546
00:22:58,523 --> 00:23:00,058
I think you made
the right choice.
547
00:23:01,629 --> 00:23:03,198
I know.
548
00:23:03,231 --> 00:23:05,111
Now, if you wouldn't mind
clearing up Derek's corpse
549
00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:07,874
before sunrise,
that would be great.
550
00:23:14,521 --> 00:23:17,528
Its alright i"ll
give you a hand.
551
00:23:17,561 --> 00:23:18,929
Thanks, Laszlo.
552
00:23:26,044 --> 00:23:28,182
- You take the bag, I'll take Derek.
- Okay.
553
00:23:28,215 --> 00:23:30,486
Come on, old chap.
You better get the door.
554
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:31,631
Mr. Necromancer?
555
00:23:34,661 --> 00:23:36,833
And you have the
necessary items required
556
00:23:36,866 --> 00:23:38,503
for the procedure to succeed?
557
00:23:38,536 --> 00:23:40,540
He means the cash.
558
00:23:40,573 --> 00:23:41,952
Yeah, it was almost
all the money I gave Derek
559
00:23:41,976 --> 00:23:43,913
to turn me into a vampire.
560
00:23:43,946 --> 00:23:46,853
He only spent like $270
on "vampire clothes"
561
00:23:46,886 --> 00:23:49,190
that he got from Hot Topic.
562
00:23:49,223 --> 00:23:52,196
You don't need to count it.
It's all there, necromancer.
563
00:23:52,229 --> 00:23:53,666
I should trust you
564
00:23:53,699 --> 00:23:55,504
when you when you
show me no respect for me
565
00:23:55,537 --> 00:23:57,541
or my beguiling powers?
566
00:23:57,574 --> 00:23:58,943
Respect? For a fraud?
567
00:23:58,976 --> 00:24:01,114
But you've seen my
methods succeed.
568
00:24:01,147 --> 00:24:03,853
I've seen your magic.
It has a fraudulent vibe.
569
00:24:03,886 --> 00:24:05,590
Okay, okay. Boys,
why don't we focus?
570
00:24:10,099 --> 00:24:12,871
He's doing his scatting shit.
571
00:24:22,791 --> 00:24:25,262
Yah!
572
00:24:25,295 --> 00:24:27,166
Get in, you dirty bastard!
573
00:24:30,172 --> 00:24:31,274
Derek...
574
00:24:33,646 --> 00:24:35,817
What's up, dude?
575
00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:37,688
All right. Begone with ya.
576
00:24:37,721 --> 00:24:39,224
He's all yours.
577
00:24:39,257 --> 00:24:41,696
But, if you're worried
about taking care of him,
578
00:24:41,729 --> 00:24:43,098
we do have a new offer.
579
00:24:43,131 --> 00:24:44,602
Of course you do.
580
00:24:44,635 --> 00:24:45,913
- For a nominal fee...
- Here he goes.
581
00:24:45,937 --> 00:24:47,273
A rehousing option.
582
00:24:47,306 --> 00:24:48,743
- Topher!
- No.
583
00:24:50,345 --> 00:24:51,716
What the fuck?
584
00:24:51,749 --> 00:24:55,022
Who calls... Topher?
585
00:24:55,055 --> 00:24:56,659
What's this "Thriller" shit?
586
00:24:59,330 --> 00:25:00,867
JK.
587
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,045
It's that guy.
588
00:25:02,069 --> 00:25:04,274
- Topher!
- Yeah, baby. Sup, guys?
589
00:25:04,307 --> 00:25:05,911
How you doing, Guillermo?
590
00:25:05,944 --> 00:25:07,748
Topher, you look...
591
00:25:07,781 --> 00:25:09,326
- You look like shit.
- Well, I'm au naturel, babe.
592
00:25:09,350 --> 00:25:11,021
I've had some work done.
593
00:25:11,054 --> 00:25:12,591
You know, I'm still undead,
594
00:25:12,624 --> 00:25:14,127
but I'm making
the most of it, man.
595
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:15,997
Once you get used
to the zombie body,
596
00:25:16,030 --> 00:25:18,168
you can actually learn
to talk normal again.
597
00:25:18,201 --> 00:25:20,172
Like this. Pretty cool?
598
00:25:20,205 --> 00:25:21,952
- He just does the accent for the tourists.
- You know.
599
00:25:21,976 --> 00:25:23,680
Take 'em for an arm and a leg.
600
00:25:23,713 --> 00:25:25,282
Yeah, man.
601
00:25:25,315 --> 00:25:26,752
Who we got here?
602
00:25:26,785 --> 00:25:28,957
- Der. Ek.
- Hey, look at that.
603
00:25:28,990 --> 00:25:30,694
Yeah, he's trying.
604
00:25:30,727 --> 00:25:32,072
It's gonna take him
a couple months
605
00:25:32,096 --> 00:25:33,666
to learn how to use
the ol' mouth again.
606
00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:35,670
But in the meantime,
the more the merrier.
607
00:25:35,703 --> 00:25:38,142
Hey, Derek. How would
you like to join a gang
608
00:25:38,175 --> 00:25:40,212
of crazy motherfuckers
just like yourself?
609
00:25:40,245 --> 00:25:41,949
There's always
room for a new friend.
610
00:25:41,982 --> 00:25:44,354
- Friend?
- Yeah. Friend!
611
00:25:44,387 --> 00:25:46,091
High five!
612
00:25:46,124 --> 00:25:47,895
Yeah, takes a second.
613
00:25:47,928 --> 00:25:49,297
- Come on, buddy.
- Whoa!
614
00:25:49,330 --> 00:25:51,368
Easy, Derek.
615
00:25:51,401 --> 00:25:54,809
Hey, boys, set a place at the
table for our new friend Derek!
616
00:25:56,377 --> 00:25:58,115
Hey, you like
eating human flesh?
617
00:25:58,148 --> 00:26:00,654
You will.
618
00:26:00,687 --> 00:26:02,056
Very... cool.
619
00:26:02,089 --> 00:26:04,394
- Bye, Derek.
- Bye, Derek.
620
00:26:16,084 --> 00:26:17,654
Do you take Venmo?
621
00:26:17,687 --> 00:26:20,794
Venmo? I take cash,
hard cash or gold coin.
622
00:26:20,827 --> 00:26:22,063
Or Zelle.
623
00:27:07,754 --> 00:27:11,257
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