1
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:20,588
Says here that sour cream is
on sale over at Shop Mart.
2
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,089
Shut up, Colin Robinson.
3
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:23,457
Knock, knock.
4
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:26,427
Guillermo, there's someone
at the door.
5
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,362
No, that was me
6
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:29,797
just saying, "Knock, knock."
7
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,800
Guillermo, never
mind. It was nobody.
8
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:36,604
I just came
by to remind everyone
9
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:39,607
that tonight is my
big art gallery opening
10
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,243
- of all the paintings I've been working on.
- Paintings?
11
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:45,646
The intoxicating elixir
to the weary mind.
12
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:47,047
Who is the artist?
13
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,481
I am.
14
00:00:49,282 --> 00:00:52,152
- Tell me more about the sour cream sale, Colin Robinson.
- Wait.
15
00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:55,756
You're all coming, right?
'Cause you did RSVP yes.
16
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,525
Sort of hard to
shuffle things around
17
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:02,129
at this late stage,
but let us think on it.
18
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:05,298
This is a really
good book, so...
19
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,669
Okey doke.
20
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,206
You received
21
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:14,241
a message in the post
22
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:16,744
from a Perdita Morrigan?
23
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,312
Perdita Morrigan?
24
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:21,181
- Yeah.
- The Perdita Morrigan?
25
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:22,549
Who's Perdita Morrigan?
26
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,418
Could you read the note?
27
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:26,195
- Hurry it up. Let's hear it.
- All right.
28
00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:29,523
"Mrs. Morrigan requests
the pleasure of your company
29
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:34,128
for a weekend at her
ancestral state Morrigan Manor."
30
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,596
Morrigan Manor, my love!
31
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:37,731
Perdita Morrigan
32
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,566
is the grand dame of
33
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:42,770
vampiric high society
in the New World.
34
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:44,238
Yeah. She's the
matriarch of one of
35
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,606
America's first
vampiric families.
36
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,241
She came over on the Mayflower.
37
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,276
She was there at
the Plymouth Colonies
38
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:51,645
during the first winter,
when 45 men died.
39
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,581
And 23 of those were murders
40
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,215
committed by Perdita herself.
41
00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:56,717
She just did it...
42
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:59,687
very quietly, and then
blamed it on the cold weather.
43
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:04,058
Perdita Morrigan holds
a Met Ball after-party
44
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:05,759
that is so exclusive,
45
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,228
no one is invited.
46
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:09,430
I mean, I get it.
47
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,432
This Perdita is some big shot,
48
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,701
but my vampires know how hard
49
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,369
I've been working
on these paintings.
50
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,071
I think they will make
the right decision.
51
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:21,675
Guillermo, bring the car
around. We are out of here.
52
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,287
All right, here we are.
53
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,355
Wakey-wakey.
54
00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:10,057
Wow, look at this place.
55
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,191
Fan-cy.
56
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,093
I need to realign my chakras.
57
00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:16,463
Oops. Yeah.
58
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,065
That's gonna happen.
59
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:22,503
It means you're doing it right.
60
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,438
What's with this silly shit?
61
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:26,073
Is that stuck on?
62
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,442
No, I-I thought I'd grow
it out for the weekend.
63
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,244
Really?
64
00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:31,688
- You can grow a mustache that fast?
- Yeah.
65
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,681
No, I have to shave,
like, three times a day.
66
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,282
Not just my face either.
67
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:38,319
- Okay.
- Undercarriage, chest, balls...
68
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,220
Ooh! We made it.
69
00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:42,790
Yes, sorry
you had to fly the whole way.
70
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,458
It's just there wasn't really
71
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,226
- any room in the car.
- Yeah.
72
00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:47,661
I think it was almost 200 miles.
73
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,105
- About that.
- Over 200.
74
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,631
I have a treat for you.
75
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,366
I brought the paintings.
76
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,735
I figured if you all couldn't
come to the art opening,
77
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:58,205
then the art opening
can come to you guys.
78
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,474
Guys?
79
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:03,677
I get it, you want to
look at them inside. Okay.
80
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,247
Ooh.
81
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,249
Hello?
82
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,284
Perdita? Hello?
83
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,152
A little dingy.
84
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:15,623
Are you sure the invitation
was for this weekend?
85
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:19,059
- Yes! She left us a note.
- A note?
86
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,394
It says, "Dear Guests..."
87
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,428
That's us.
88
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,397
"Welcome to Morrigan Manor.
89
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:27,301
"So sorry not to greet you
in person, but please repair
90
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:29,403
"to the drawing
room, where I have left
91
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:32,072
a more personal
message for you."
92
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,441
Well, hello,
93
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:37,111
my darling guests,
and also greetings.
94
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:40,247
I beg you, please
excuse my absence,
95
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,283
- but something has come up...
- What?
96
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,386
and I won't be
joining you this weekend.
97
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,554
- Shit.
- But please, do enjoy
98
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:49,390
all the amenities
99
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,191
my home has to offer...
100
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,793
The fencing gymnasium,
101
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,637
the hunting grounds,
the historic bell tower...
102
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:57,231
Is it me or is this
chick hella boring?
103
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:59,533
and of course,
the board games room.
104
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,802
But be warned...
105
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:04,772
Morrigan Manor can
be a treacherous place.
106
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,641
You must
all watch out for one another,
107
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,176
and take care of each other.
108
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:10,644
- Yeah.
- You must operate
109
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,213
as the family that you are,
110
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,749
- not as six individuals...
- Six?
111
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,393
who only
look out for themselves.
112
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:19,153
So, good luck
113
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,355
and ciao-ciao for now.
114
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,123
What a big fat bummer.
115
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:26,660
But she is known for her
extremely busy social schedule.
116
00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:28,495
Is anyone concerned
about that last part?
117
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:31,131
About Morrigan Manor
being treacherous?
118
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,700
Not in the slightest. However...
119
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,502
sunrise is approaching.
Perhaps we should slumber
120
00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:37,137
and worry about it later.
121
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,772
Good? -Now you're talking.
122
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:42,209
- Except for the luggage.
- Good night.
123
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:45,179
I was kind of hoping you'd
get it unloaded and unpacked,
124
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,214
if you don't mind. ASAP.
125
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,783
- Thank you.
- I should probably get my paintings from the car.
126
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,052
That's okay. I can
grab them for you.
127
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,054
Thank you, Guillermo.
You're so kind.
128
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,767
My first
thought was to "parry."
129
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,435
My second
intention, to "riposte."
130
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,070
It's just my "point-in-line."
131
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,740
That's fencing humor.
You'll get used to it.
132
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:17,311
- I see you're enjoying the gymnasium?
- Yes.
133
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,513
- What a well-appointed one it is at that.
- Indeed.
134
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:22,082
Care to go a few
rounds, my friend?
135
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:25,719
En garde!
136
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,129
What's wrong?
137
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,797
Afraid of a little
friendly competition?
138
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,199
No. I prefer to
practice on my dummy.
139
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,734
Are you sure?
140
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:41,802
Quite sure.
141
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,071
Okay. Um...
142
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,573
- All right. Have fun.
- Ta-ta.
143
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,645
Where did you come from?
144
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:56,283
Well, I see sportsmanship
is not your forte.
145
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,619
You need to be taught a lesson.
146
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,688
And then there were two.
147
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:03,257
Well, I've always been
partial to a threesome.
148
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:05,191
Shall we dance?
149
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:11,265
Hey, Laszlo, I thought you
didn't want a fencing partner.
150
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:15,102
Sorry, can't talk
right now. I have my hands full.
151
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,503
Here, you forgot this.
152
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:18,772
And you're certain
you don't need my help?
153
00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:20,441
No, I'm in the zone
with these chaps.
154
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,476
Now, where were we?
155
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:23,477
Yes.
156
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,412
En garde!
157
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:27,714
Take that!
158
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,484
And that. Ha!
159
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:33,120
And... that.
160
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:35,155
Like that, do you?
161
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:38,091
Ménage à quatre. Why not?
162
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,496
Ho!
163
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,600
A bit of the
rope-a-dope! To here.
164
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,335
Come on, chaps,
this is too easy.
165
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:49,703
Ha ha!
166
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:53,173
Is that all you've got?
167
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,608
You what?
168
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,211
Well, I suppose this gives you
169
00:07:57,244 --> 00:08:00,581
what we gentlemen
call a sporting chance.
170
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,182
Watch your fingers.
171
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,416
I learned that in Germany.
172
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,720
That, in Afghanistan.
173
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,395
Yes.
174
00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:16,663
Lovely.
175
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,315
Shit.
176
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,525
So...
177
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:49,363
the horsies can go
up two and over one?
178
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,764
I don't know how
to play this shit.
179
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,267
I thought you'd know
how to play this shit.
180
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,668
- That's fun.
- -Eesh!
181
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,737
Shades of Bacchus.
182
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,340
Guess what? We got another
message from our hostess.
183
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:02,276
"My staff has prepared
a traditional hunt
184
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:05,613
for all of you shortly
after moonrise."
185
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,381
- Ooh.
- "In the meantime,
186
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:10,150
"please enjoy this art show
187
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:13,520
of recent oil paintings."
188
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,789
- Perdita wrote that?
- Well,
189
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,825
I added that last bit.
190
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,494
- But I do think you will love these.
- No, I won't...
191
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:23,530
because I have never
worn those glasses in my life.
192
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,500
Has anyone seen
Laszlo? I can't find him anywhere.
193
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,736
And it's really not like him.
194
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:31,205
- Laszlo's missing?
- Yeah.
195
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,507
The game is afoot.
196
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:37,745
You know, this house does
have a belfry filled with local bats.
197
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,280
Maybe Laszlo went up there.
198
00:09:39,313 --> 00:09:42,349
So like my darling
perverted husband,
199
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:44,285
to sniff out the local bordello
200
00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:46,153
immediately upon arrival.
201
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,655
Could you take me to the belfry?
202
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:50,691
Of course I can. And
also, before we go,
203
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,694
- would you like to take in?
- You know?
204
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,663
I saw some art last
year. So I'm good.
205
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,364
- This way?
- Okay.
206
00:09:57,397 --> 00:10:00,301
- Your move.
- Yes.
207
00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:02,403
Two at once.
208
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,104
Inspired.
209
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:07,808
This is the belfry, and
where there's a belfry,
210
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,510
- there's bound to be...
- Bats.
211
00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:11,645
Yes, that is so like my Laszlo.
212
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:14,281
Laszlo is so lucky to
have someone like you.
213
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,092
Someone who cares about him
214
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,352
and worries about
his well-being.
215
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,521
Well, yes, Laszlo is
not just my husband,
216
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:24,491
or my number one fuckbuddy,
but he is also my best friend.
217
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:25,492
Must be nice.
218
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,227
Laszlo, you little pervert,
219
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,096
here I come.
220
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,166
What the fuck is
behind that door?
221
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,335
Let me go first,
to keep you safe.
222
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:35,569
Be careful.
223
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,675
Nadja, help!
224
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,510
- Yes, I'm coming.
- Help!
225
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,646
Here I come. I'm coming to he...
226
00:10:53,587 --> 00:10:55,289
It was just my eyes
playing tricks on me.
227
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,490
It's nothing.
228
00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,426
Nadja, come back up!
229
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,461
Let's look for Laszl...
230
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,632
No.
231
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,433
Hurry, Guillermo.
232
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,668
That horn signifies
233
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,203
the release of the humans.
234
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:11,472
They're getting a
head start on us.
235
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:13,340
They must be college athletes.
236
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:16,176
The most challenging prey.
237
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:18,545
Did you catch their scent?
238
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:19,747
- What?
- Lead me.
239
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,348
No. I'm not a bloodhound.
240
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:24,418
Here. You can catch
their scent from this.
241
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,220
No, I'm not gonna touch that.
242
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,231
Just get your muzzle in
there and get a nice big whiff.
243
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:29,499
- No.
- You can track them with this.
244
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:30,491
You know what? How about this?
245
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,092
You wait here,
246
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,770
and I'm gonna go and
you wait for my signal.
247
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,496
- Okay?
- Signal?
248
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,364
Yeah. You wait for it, okay?
249
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,242
- What's the signal?
- You'll see!
250
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,768
Look at him go.
251
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:44,071
Guy like that catches a
whiff of something musky,
252
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,740
he absolutely will not stop.
253
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,351
Yeah.
254
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,644
I just ran into the woods
and then circled back in
255
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:52,146
when Nandor wasn't looking.
256
00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,087
The key to hunting humans
257
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,423
is to divide and then crush.
258
00:12:02,456 --> 00:12:06,126
If the humans begin
operating in a pack,
259
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,128
they can be very formidable.
260
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,130
But they're usually
too dumb for that
261
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,832
and end up just scattering.
262
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,535
Guillermo?
263
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,337
What have you found?
264
00:12:16,370 --> 00:12:18,105
What a good boy!
265
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,140
I just don't have the
heart to, like, hunt humans.
266
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,408
Yet.
267
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,210
I know I'll have
to do it eventually,
268
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,646
but... I'm just not feeling it.
269
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:27,648
Guillermo!
270
00:12:27,681 --> 00:12:28,816
Here, boy.
271
00:12:30,384 --> 00:12:33,087
- What the fuck?
- I'm not going to lie.
272
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,356
This is as bad as it looks.
273
00:12:35,389 --> 00:12:36,824
It looks pretty bad.
274
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:39,360
What are you even
doing all the way out here?
275
00:12:39,393 --> 00:12:40,628
I was looking for you.
276
00:12:40,661 --> 00:12:42,696
Nadja and Laszlo
have disappeared.
277
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:45,099
You're worrying
about nothing. It's fine.
278
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,500
Okay, let me find a stick,
279
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,469
and I will pry your
leg from the trap.
280
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:50,671
- A stick, stick, stick, stick, stick.
- No.
281
00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:53,140
- What?
- They're coming.
282
00:12:54,508 --> 00:12:57,077
And they seem to
be working as a team.
283
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,613
Nandor, if you must
leave me behind...
284
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:00,748
I must. See you.
285
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,249
Bye.
286
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:05,386
Guillermo! I am in
need of your help!
287
00:13:05,419 --> 00:13:07,621
Guillermo...
288
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,692
Where is everyone?
289
00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:13,794
An intriguing question.
290
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:19,433
But perhaps one I should
be asking you, no, monsieur?
291
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,634
What are you talking about?
292
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:24,805
Quite the "predict-ament"
293
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,474
we find ourselves
in here tonight,
294
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,243
no, Guillermo?
295
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:33,113
Not a soul in sight.
Just you and me.
296
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,715
"And then there were two."
297
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,219
Again, what are
you talking about?
298
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,488
I know it was you, Guillermo.
299
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:44,491
I know it was you
who lured us all here
300
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,126
under false pretenses.
301
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,495
And it's you who's
making everyone disappear
302
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:52,099
- one by one.
- What?
303
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,068
That's bananas. Why
would I even do that?
304
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:56,804
Because you know that Nandor
is eventually gonna find out
305
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,340
that you went and got
yourself turned into a vampire
306
00:13:59,373 --> 00:14:01,475
- by someone other than him.
- Okay.
307
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,210
So, then why not
just kill Nandor?
308
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:04,345
Why kill everyone else?
309
00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,282
Um, because...
310
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:09,750
we all know your secret.
311
00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:12,219
Okay, so then I kill everyone
312
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,788
because I want to keep
the secret from Nandor,
313
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:17,091
but then I still
kill Nandor, too?
314
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,631
Well, maybe I missed a clue.
315
00:14:23,664 --> 00:14:26,767
Is it something
where the last person alive
316
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,469
inherits the house?
317
00:14:28,502 --> 00:14:30,504
- No.
- Yeah, well, even when I was saying that,
318
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,739
that didn't really make sense.
319
00:14:34,508 --> 00:14:35,743
Zut alors!
320
00:14:35,776 --> 00:14:37,778
- What happened?
- Now Nandor is gone.
321
00:14:37,811 --> 00:14:41,482
I was caught in a trap and I
told him to leave me behind.
322
00:14:41,515 --> 00:14:44,218
And he did. Like,
really quickly.
323
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:46,086
Like you would
think he would say,
324
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,821
"No, I'm not going
to leave you behind,"
325
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:50,491
just to be nice,
but he took off.
326
00:14:50,524 --> 00:14:53,160
And then he got
swooped up into the trees
327
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,361
and I couldn't find him.
328
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,430
And then there were three.
329
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:57,798
Can I take a look?
330
00:14:57,831 --> 00:15:00,134
It's all right, Guillermo.
I'm a vampire.
331
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,336
- It'll heal by tomorrow.
- You sure?
332
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,138
- Does it hurt?
- Not much.
333
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:05,748
Let's at least level it up,
see what we're dealing with.
334
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,012
- Careful. Careful.
- All right.
335
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,109
That's a lot of blood.
336
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:10,611
Thank you for caring.
337
00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:13,514
You know, a small act of
kindness can mean so much.
338
00:15:13,547 --> 00:15:16,383
And every day, we're
given so many opportunities
339
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,118
to be kind to someone else.
340
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,154
You know, to make
them feel included,
341
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:22,623
to make them feel like
they're part of the old gang.
342
00:15:22,656 --> 00:15:24,558
Doesn't seem like much to ask.
343
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,527
But for some people, I guess
344
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,762
it's just something
they won't do,
345
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,397
even though they should know
346
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,766
it would mean the world
to some other people.
347
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,636
Do you know what
it's like to know
348
00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:39,740
there's a whole group of buddies
and no matter what you do,
349
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:42,743
they will never see you
as part of that group?
350
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,411
I do.
351
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,280
For all those years,
I was just a familiar.
352
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:47,657
- I always felt like I...
- I'm sorry, Guillermo.
353
00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:50,517
I wasn't asking you.
I was asking him.
354
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,622
The Celtics won. Noice.
355
00:15:54,655 --> 00:15:56,557
- Colin.
- Yeah.
356
00:15:56,590 --> 00:15:59,360
What? Were you saying something?
357
00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:01,261
Fuck it. These
can't all be clever.
358
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,475
- This way.
- [Nandor
359
00:16:14,508 --> 00:16:16,277
What the hell?
360
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:18,479
Finally. Quickly.
361
00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:20,748
Someone or something
has imprisoned all of us.
362
00:16:20,781 --> 00:16:23,484
No, you fucking
doughnut. It's her that did it.
363
00:16:23,517 --> 00:16:25,486
- Guilty as charged.
- What?
364
00:16:25,519 --> 00:16:27,087
Tee-hee.
365
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,089
And I see
you're all taking nicely
366
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,557
to your new homes, yes?
367
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,293
Solid silver.
368
00:16:32,326 --> 00:16:33,761
Ay, fucking silver.
369
00:16:33,794 --> 00:16:35,596
Careful.
370
00:16:35,629 --> 00:16:38,365
Well, I'm immune to silver,
so good luck keeping me in.
371
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,634
- Do you have the key?
- Touché.
372
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,604
What is this despicable
torture that you have concocted?
373
00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:46,574
But I like to think of
it as a lesson, really.
374
00:16:46,607 --> 00:16:47,741
An education.
375
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,443
Did Perdita put you up to this?
376
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,612
Perdita?
377
00:16:51,645 --> 00:16:52,813
You mean...
378
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,281
Morrigan Manor
379
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,558
can be a treacherous place...
380
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,451
et
cetera, et cetera?
381
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,553
- You mean that Perdita?
- Witch.
382
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,555
- Well done.
- It was me the whole time.
383
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,057
Yeah, no doy.
384
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,292
I-I knew when you
shot me from my chair.
385
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,628
- Good.
- Quite a glass onion.
386
00:17:07,661 --> 00:17:09,205
I think Perdita Morrigan
387
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:11,432
is pretending to be The Guide.
388
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:13,100
No, you fucking idiot.
389
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,402
She just said that it
was her that was doing it.
390
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,271
- Who?
- Fucking hell.
391
00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:18,681
- Let me just say this slowly.
- I wouldn't bother.
392
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:19,673
- I'd just carry on.
- Should I not?
393
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,208
No. - Yeah.
394
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:22,452
I know that Perdita
spends the offseason
395
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,278
at her chalet in Gstaad,
396
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,080
and that her mansion
would be empty.
397
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:28,215
And the perfect
place to teach you all
398
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,217
a valuable lesson
399
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,720
about the importance
of being nice to people
400
00:17:32,753 --> 00:17:35,322
who maybe aren't
part of your core group
401
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,291
but who have done a
lot of nice things for you
402
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,493
and yet you still
treat them like shit.
403
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,829
Wait, you did all of this
404
00:17:41,862 --> 00:17:43,497
instead of just asking us
405
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,633
to have a short conversation
about your feelings?
406
00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:48,478
- Yeah, I guess I did.
- Okay, I think you taught them a lesson,
407
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,280
- so now we just get them...
- No, Guillermo.
408
00:17:50,304 --> 00:17:52,306
My lesson has but only begun.
409
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:53,807
You will each
410
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,077
spend the rest of
your eternal lives here.
411
00:17:57,110 --> 00:18:01,081
Close to each other
yet kept at a distance.
412
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:05,452
So you will know how you have
made me feel this whole time.
413
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,354
Always on the outside.
414
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,423
And every time
I try to get close,
415
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,558
- I get burned.
- I thought
416
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,360
you really liked us.
417
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:14,361
I did.
418
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,096
Deeply and desperately.
419
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,732
And all I wanted
was for you to like me.
420
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,435
Instead, you treated me like...
421
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,337
an afterthought.
422
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:28,609
I have got absolutely no really
close female friends anymore.
423
00:18:28,642 --> 00:18:29,543
An annoyance.
424
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,478
Nice going, dipshit.
425
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,080
A hanger-on.
426
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,424
Stand over there and
just pretend not to listen.
427
00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:35,449
I can do that.
428
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:36,617
An inconvenience.
429
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:38,619
You did R-S-veep "yes."
430
00:18:38,652 --> 00:18:42,423
Sort of had to shuffle things
around at this late stage.
431
00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:45,559
So this is basically
a clip show now?
432
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:46,827
Are we Golden Girls?
433
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,295
You know, I'm starting to think
434
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:50,764
that this might
be all of my fault.
435
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:54,201
This is the hex that I
have been cursed with.
436
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:57,338
My dear Mistress Nadja.
437
00:18:57,371 --> 00:18:59,406
I have good news.
438
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,141
There is no hex.
439
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:03,043
There never was a hex.
440
00:19:03,076 --> 00:19:04,354
I just made you think
441
00:19:04,378 --> 00:19:06,313
- there was a hex.
- What?
442
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:07,624
- Witch!
- Did not have that
443
00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:10,584
on my 2023 bingo card.
444
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,820
- Why?!
- So that I could try to help you.
445
00:19:12,853 --> 00:19:15,823
So that you
would, I don't know, see me as a friend,
446
00:19:15,856 --> 00:19:17,825
treat me as a friend.
447
00:19:17,858 --> 00:19:20,094
I did say thank you for
your help with the hex.
448
00:19:20,127 --> 00:19:21,629
- Not once.
- I meant to?
449
00:19:21,662 --> 00:19:24,331
- You didn't.
- Thank you so much.
450
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,466
Too late!
451
00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:27,067
Even to the bitter end,
452
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,736
hoping against hope,
453
00:19:28,769 --> 00:19:32,206
I gave each of you one
last chance to show me
454
00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:35,209
the smallest amount of kindness.
455
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:36,744
And even that was beyond you!
456
00:19:36,777 --> 00:19:40,147
No one told
us it was a fucking test.
457
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:42,358
W-Wait, why isn't Gumball in here with us?
458
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:45,352
Because Guillermo is the
only one out of all of you
459
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,488
that has ever shown
me any kindness.
460
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,356
- Brownnoser.
- And yet you all
461
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,325
treat him so shabbily
462
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:54,228
that even after all this
time of waiting to become
463
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:55,429
one of you...
464
00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:56,764
he's forced to give up
465
00:19:56,797 --> 00:19:59,065
and take matters
into his own hands.
466
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,069
Sorry, what?
467
00:20:02,102 --> 00:20:03,413
Well, I think, y-you know,
468
00:20:03,437 --> 00:20:05,172
I don't think they
mean to exclude you.
469
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,416
- Guillermo, do not stick up for them.
- I'm not...
470
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:07,684
Circling back to "taking matters
471
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:09,343
into his own hands..."
472
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,445
Well, I don't think that's
the point. The point is,
473
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:12,722
- those paintings are very important.
- Well, it kind of is the point.
474
00:20:12,746 --> 00:20:14,214
Is anyone else
curious about this?
475
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,282
Laszlo?
476
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:16,684
Nadja? Curiosity there at all?
477
00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:18,419
I-I like this cage.
478
00:20:18,452 --> 00:20:20,588
- Colin Robinson? Any...
- No, sir.
479
00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:22,332
Okay, you
know, it kind of feels like
480
00:20:22,356 --> 00:20:24,725
there's something going
on and everyone knows
481
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:26,627
what it is except me.
482
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,062
Awkward.
483
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:32,199
Master.
484
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,700
Yes?
485
00:20:34,635 --> 00:20:36,136
I...
486
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:37,271
Spit it out.
487
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,406
I made a-a big mistake.
488
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:42,543
And I didn't want to tell you
because I didn't want to hurt...
489
00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:44,078
you.
490
00:20:44,111 --> 00:20:45,822
I had someone else turn me
491
00:20:45,846 --> 00:20:47,481
into a vampire.
492
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:49,283
I-I asked them to do it.
493
00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:50,426
Fuck.
494
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,058
You asked...
495
00:20:58,859 --> 00:21:00,560
someone else?
496
00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:04,664
A vampire who was not me?
497
00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:08,135
I felt like I had
no other choice.
498
00:21:08,168 --> 00:21:09,403
You could have asked me.
499
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:11,205
Are you fucking kidding me?
500
00:21:11,238 --> 00:21:13,707
I asked you
repeatedly for 13 years.
501
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,477
Yes, and I was
gonna get round to it.
502
00:21:16,510 --> 00:21:18,412
I've had a lot on my
plate at the moment!
503
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,148
- Who?
- What?
504
00:21:21,181 --> 00:21:22,349
Who was it?
505
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:24,084
I don't think that's
really relevant.
506
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:25,695
- It's relevant to me.
- It's just, what's done is done.
507
00:21:25,719 --> 00:21:27,053
- Guillermo!
- Derek.
508
00:21:28,322 --> 00:21:29,823
Okay.
509
00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:31,825
Well, thank you for
being honest with me.
510
00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:33,494
- Okay.
- I appreciate it.
511
00:21:33,527 --> 00:21:36,063
Now I'm going to
be honest with you.
512
00:21:36,096 --> 00:21:37,164
This is good.
513
00:21:37,197 --> 00:21:38,365
I...
514
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:39,500
am going...
515
00:21:39,533 --> 00:21:40,768
to kill you,
516
00:21:40,801 --> 00:21:42,303
Guillermo.
517
00:21:42,336 --> 00:21:44,071
And then quite possibly myself.
518
00:21:44,104 --> 00:21:45,406
It all depends
519
00:21:45,439 --> 00:21:47,041
on whether I'm still completely
520
00:21:47,074 --> 00:21:49,176
and utterly humiliated
521
00:21:49,209 --> 00:21:50,444
after I'm done killing you!
522
00:21:52,179 --> 00:21:54,223
Whoa-whoa-whoa,
if it makes you feel any better,
523
00:21:54,247 --> 00:21:55,583
he's only a half-baked vampire.
524
00:21:55,616 --> 00:21:58,052
Yes, I know. He has
Van Helsing blood.
525
00:21:58,085 --> 00:21:59,753
His vampire-killer cells
526
00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:02,423
are fighting off his vampire
cells with all their might.
527
00:22:02,456 --> 00:22:06,093
- Okay. That's what's going on.
- Shit.
528
00:22:06,126 --> 00:22:08,162
- Fuck.
- Another mystery solved.
529
00:22:08,195 --> 00:22:09,475
Well, you live and learn, right?
530
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:13,067
Master, if you would
just let me talk...
531
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:14,535
You're a dead man!
532
00:22:24,278 --> 00:22:26,046
Stay back there.
And in the meantime,
533
00:22:26,079 --> 00:22:28,249
where are the
documentarians? Behind me?
534
00:22:28,282 --> 00:22:29,617
There you are. I say,
535
00:22:29,650 --> 00:22:32,086
could you find the tapes
536
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:36,423
from November the 21st, 2022?
537
00:22:38,258 --> 00:22:42,096
Yeah. I know she
doesn't have, like, a last name
538
00:22:42,129 --> 00:22:44,331
or a first name,
for that matter,
539
00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:47,735
but I-I just think that
The Guide is really nice.
540
00:22:47,768 --> 00:22:49,112
I'd say she's more
than nice, Colin Robinson.
541
00:22:49,136 --> 00:22:50,671
She has a tremendous wit
542
00:22:50,704 --> 00:22:52,640
and a fantastic backside.
543
00:22:52,673 --> 00:22:54,484
That would usually
make me very jealous,
544
00:22:54,508 --> 00:22:56,777
if I didn't completely agree!
545
00:22:56,810 --> 00:22:59,580
And, you know, she's
also a very good listener.
546
00:22:59,613 --> 00:23:01,482
And once you get
used to that voice,
547
00:23:01,515 --> 00:23:04,184
she has some very
interesting things to say.
548
00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:06,296
I have often thought,
as I've searched for a wife,
549
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,290
that the answer might
just be here under my nose
550
00:23:09,323 --> 00:23:10,591
the whole time.
551
00:23:10,624 --> 00:23:12,192
I think that's enough now, Ryan.
552
00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:13,436
You can turn that
off. She gets the point.
553
00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:15,129
Thank you.
554
00:23:15,162 --> 00:23:16,797
That was so lovely.
555
00:23:16,830 --> 00:23:20,167
But how come none of you
ever said any of this to me?
556
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,303
Because we're vampires,
557
00:23:22,336 --> 00:23:24,505
my squeaky-voiced,
558
00:23:24,538 --> 00:23:27,608
fucking berserk,
nutjob, idiot friend.
559
00:23:27,641 --> 00:23:31,345
And sometimes we're not
too good with the old niceties
560
00:23:31,378 --> 00:23:33,514
and kindness towards
those we care about.
561
00:23:33,547 --> 00:23:35,316
But our hearts...
562
00:23:35,349 --> 00:23:37,151
are full of love.
563
00:23:37,184 --> 00:23:39,319
He's not wrong.
564
00:23:42,656 --> 00:23:44,158
I am so embarrassed.
565
00:23:45,626 --> 00:23:47,494
Don't sweat it, girly.
We all make mistakes.
566
00:23:47,527 --> 00:23:49,229
Now let-let me out now.
567
00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:50,573
- Okay. -Come on.
- Here we are.
568
00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:52,466
Forgive and forget,
that's what I say.
569
00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:55,269
Now let me out of this
cage so I can kill Guillermo.
570
00:23:55,302 --> 00:23:57,171
Guess I kind of got in my head
571
00:23:57,204 --> 00:23:58,781
- a little bit. -Yes.
- Yes,
572
00:23:58,805 --> 00:24:00,641
I think you did.
573
00:24:00,674 --> 00:24:02,476
- -Ooh!
- Fuck.
574
00:24:02,509 --> 00:24:03,753
I've never been able to do that.
575
00:24:03,777 --> 00:24:04,745
Now you're just rubbing it in.
576
00:24:04,778 --> 00:24:06,546
Very Derek.
577
00:24:07,681 --> 00:24:09,650
Master, if I let you
out of this cage,
578
00:24:09,683 --> 00:24:11,251
do you promise not to kill me?
579
00:24:12,686 --> 00:24:14,154
I promise.
580
00:24:14,187 --> 00:24:15,456
You mean it?
581
00:24:15,489 --> 00:24:16,724
No!
582
00:24:16,757 --> 00:24:18,325
What are you doing?
583
00:24:18,358 --> 00:24:19,636
I'm giving you a head
start, you knob lord.
584
00:24:19,660 --> 00:24:20,737
Laszlo, let me out of this cage
585
00:24:20,761 --> 00:24:22,596
so I can kill Guillermo!
586
00:24:22,629 --> 00:24:23,764
Give me that key!
587
00:24:23,797 --> 00:24:24,665
If I were you, I'd run.
588
00:24:24,698 --> 00:24:26,566
Run, boy, run!
589
00:24:27,367 --> 00:24:29,803
Guillermo...!
590
00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:44,752
I have often thought, as
I've searched for a wife,
591
00:24:44,785 --> 00:24:47,554
that the answer might
just be here under my nose
592
00:24:47,587 --> 00:24:49,256
- the whole time.
- I know.
593
00:24:49,289 --> 00:24:50,791
She also has such great style.
594
00:24:50,824 --> 00:24:52,793
All those blacks and grays.
595
00:24:52,826 --> 00:24:54,628
I see.
596
00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:57,298
I get it. You guys are...
597
00:24:57,331 --> 00:24:59,700
trying to get me
to hook up with her
598
00:24:59,733 --> 00:25:01,602
and so we become a couple
599
00:25:01,635 --> 00:25:04,805
and I eventually move out
and leave you guys alone.
600
00:25:04,838 --> 00:25:07,041
- I get it. -What?
- What?
601
00:25:07,074 --> 00:25:09,152
- We would never do that.
- Of course not!
602
00:25:53,787 --> 00:25:59,059
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