1 00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:16,142 - Decoy? Decoy? - I did warn you. 2 00:00:16,175 --> 00:00:17,846 After you threw me off the bike. 3 00:00:17,879 --> 00:00:20,250 So less a warning than an assignment. 4 00:00:20,283 --> 00:00:22,421 God, I've always wanted to throw him off something. 5 00:00:22,454 --> 00:00:24,291 - What's it like? - Surprisingly easy. 6 00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:26,630 You're easy! Wait, no. 7 00:00:26,663 --> 00:00:28,868 You're whatever's sexually undesirable 8 00:00:28,901 --> 00:00:30,638 due to untrustworthiness. 9 00:00:30,671 --> 00:00:32,909 Like my tennis coach who, turns out, is married. 10 00:00:32,942 --> 00:00:34,178 I don't see the problem. 11 00:00:34,211 --> 00:00:35,782 You still got away from the police. 12 00:00:35,815 --> 00:00:38,219 And then got tranqed by the international jewel thieves 13 00:00:38,252 --> 00:00:39,790 we're supposed to be taking down. 14 00:00:39,823 --> 00:00:42,194 Yeah, and they didn't use the good stuff either. 15 00:00:42,227 --> 00:00:45,200 My point is, this is all part of the plan. 16 00:00:46,502 --> 00:00:49,275 Yeah, and, um, what part of the plan comes 17 00:00:49,308 --> 00:00:51,708 after being chained by our feet to the ceiling of a sea cave? 18 00:00:53,416 --> 00:00:54,518 The fun part. 19 00:01:37,003 --> 00:01:38,607 Easy, Lillian Leitzel. 20 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,312 Excuse me for not wanting to die dangling. 21 00:01:41,345 --> 00:01:42,882 Oh, yeah, much better to die 22 00:01:42,915 --> 00:01:45,722 swinging back and forth like a rummy old piñata. 23 00:01:45,755 --> 00:01:48,460 No one's going to die! 24 00:01:48,493 --> 00:01:50,932 But we will drown if we're not free in a few minutes. 25 00:01:50,965 --> 00:01:53,838 So, Zara, what exactly is your plan? 26 00:01:53,871 --> 00:01:55,908 Because so far, it's... 27 00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,946 Rob a probably innocent man, 28 00:01:57,979 --> 00:02:00,250 then rob a definitely innocent museum... 29 00:02:00,283 --> 00:02:01,787 Get tranquilized, 30 00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:04,425 then hang upside down in a cave. 31 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,637 The plan's actually too intense 32 00:02:05,661 --> 00:02:07,006 for your aging brain to understand, 33 00:02:07,030 --> 00:02:08,768 but we're waiting on step 3 of 12. 34 00:02:08,801 --> 00:02:10,571 14, if they have guard dogs. 35 00:02:10,604 --> 00:02:11,807 Seriously? 36 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,476 - Seriously? - Problem? 37 00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,615 "I have a plan, but I can't share it," 38 00:02:15,648 --> 00:02:18,253 is exactly what people say when they don't have a plan 39 00:02:18,286 --> 00:02:19,488 and hope it all works out. 40 00:02:19,521 --> 00:02:20,558 Wonder why you know that. 41 00:02:20,591 --> 00:02:22,227 We all know why I know that! 42 00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:24,498 The difference is, I actually have a plan. 43 00:02:24,531 --> 00:02:26,002 - Trust me. - I don't. 44 00:02:26,035 --> 00:02:27,504 You're a loose cannon. 45 00:02:27,537 --> 00:02:29,709 You're kind of also a loose cannon, bud. 46 00:02:29,742 --> 00:02:32,448 Exactly, and you can't have two loose cannons on one ship. 47 00:02:32,481 --> 00:02:33,651 They'd smash everything. 48 00:02:33,684 --> 00:02:35,387 Yeah, as opposed to one loose cannon. 49 00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:38,661 I feel like "loose cannon" is never used as a positive. 50 00:02:38,694 --> 00:02:40,473 Really? Because people call me one all the time. 51 00:02:40,497 --> 00:02:42,000 And you think that's a compliment. 52 00:02:42,033 --> 00:02:43,536 Obviously. 53 00:02:43,570 --> 00:02:45,373 And now we know you're not the subtext cannon. 54 00:02:45,406 --> 00:02:46,944 Said the stupid cannon. 55 00:02:46,977 --> 00:02:49,515 New plan, and I can share it. 56 00:02:49,549 --> 00:02:50,751 I'm saving the day. 57 00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:54,759 "And why does that require you to be barefoot?" 58 00:02:54,792 --> 00:02:56,529 she asked, barely caring. 59 00:02:56,563 --> 00:02:58,801 It's not my feet. It's my shoe. 60 00:02:58,834 --> 00:03:01,372 I made Krieger install an emergency phone 61 00:03:01,405 --> 00:03:03,644 - the week I joined the agency. - Ugh. Why? 62 00:03:03,677 --> 00:03:05,681 Because it felt like something a spy would have! 63 00:03:05,714 --> 00:03:08,319 And guess what. It is. 64 00:03:08,352 --> 00:03:09,856 Because I have it. 65 00:03:12,562 --> 00:03:14,532 Well, you're finally using the shoe phone. 66 00:03:14,566 --> 00:03:16,737 It's about time. Does it stink? 67 00:03:16,770 --> 00:03:18,641 Shut up, Krieger. Listen, trace my call. 68 00:03:18,674 --> 00:03:21,312 The moron Interpol agent got us captured. 69 00:03:21,345 --> 00:03:24,653 Well, according to your shoe, you're on an island in Greece. 70 00:03:24,686 --> 00:03:26,455 Ooh, also according to your shoe, 71 00:03:26,488 --> 00:03:27,725 you're pigeon-toed. 72 00:03:27,758 --> 00:03:29,596 - We're in Greece? - Jelly. 73 00:03:29,629 --> 00:03:30,765 So anything else? 74 00:03:30,798 --> 00:03:32,401 Organize a rescue, God damn it! 75 00:03:32,434 --> 00:03:33,637 Oh, shit. 76 00:03:33,670 --> 00:03:36,810 Congratulations on your daring robberies. 77 00:03:36,843 --> 00:03:39,348 You have the attention of the Vanguard. 78 00:03:39,381 --> 00:03:41,553 But we only need one new member, 79 00:03:41,586 --> 00:03:44,826 so we will let the tide decide. 80 00:03:44,859 --> 00:03:47,030 I'll be back in an hour. 81 00:03:47,063 --> 00:03:48,868 You forgot to say, "Any questions?" 82 00:03:48,901 --> 00:03:50,503 To which I would say, "Lots." 83 00:03:50,536 --> 00:03:52,709 Like, do you wash these chains between guests? 84 00:03:52,742 --> 00:03:55,948 Because salt water isn't enough to get them clean. 85 00:03:55,981 --> 00:03:59,388 Oh, please, salt water works fine on blood. 86 00:03:59,421 --> 00:04:01,560 It's rust you gotta worry about. 87 00:04:04,632 --> 00:04:06,703 - Ahh. - Damn. 88 00:04:06,736 --> 00:04:08,106 Way to go, Zara. 89 00:04:08,139 --> 00:04:09,609 Ah! 90 00:04:09,642 --> 00:04:11,021 You couldn't have done that earlier? 91 00:04:11,045 --> 00:04:12,882 Like before I got this inversion erection? 92 00:04:12,915 --> 00:04:14,060 I don't think that's a thing. 93 00:04:14,084 --> 00:04:16,122 Then explain why I have one! 94 00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:18,393 Step three was waiting for them to leave us alone 95 00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:20,598 so we'd have more time to infiltrate the facility. 96 00:04:20,631 --> 00:04:22,635 There was a step three! 97 00:04:22,668 --> 00:04:24,038 No, there wasn't! 98 00:04:24,071 --> 00:04:26,375 She's just doing things and calling them steps. 99 00:04:26,408 --> 00:04:28,012 - Says the guy doing nothing. - Am I? 100 00:04:28,045 --> 00:04:30,116 Or am I on step one of kicking your ass? 101 00:04:30,149 --> 00:04:31,787 Eh, still looks like nothing. 102 00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:32,931 Do you want me to get you down? 103 00:04:32,955 --> 00:04:34,391 No. Like my erection, 104 00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:35,895 I will handle this myself. 105 00:04:35,928 --> 00:04:38,032 Look, our goal is to take down the Vanguard leader, 106 00:04:38,065 --> 00:04:40,771 but he never leaves Vanguard's secret island headquarters, 107 00:04:40,804 --> 00:04:43,142 and the only way to get here was to be recruited. 108 00:04:43,175 --> 00:04:45,146 But now we're locked in a quickly flooding cave. 109 00:04:45,179 --> 00:04:47,150 Are we? 110 00:04:47,183 --> 00:04:48,486 Was that... 111 00:04:48,519 --> 00:04:50,725 - Step four, baby. - Not a step. 112 00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:52,169 See you after we accomplish the mission! 113 00:04:52,193 --> 00:04:53,797 Not if I see you first 114 00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:56,937 but after I accomplish the mission with my plan. 115 00:04:56,970 --> 00:04:57,981 Yeah, good luck with that. 116 00:04:58,005 --> 00:05:01,045 She said with obvious jealousy. 117 00:05:01,078 --> 00:05:03,016 Okay, my plan. 118 00:05:03,049 --> 00:05:05,086 My plan, 119 00:05:05,119 --> 00:05:09,829 of which step one is... 120 00:05:09,862 --> 00:05:12,869 Utilize a friendly turtle! 121 00:05:12,902 --> 00:05:15,507 Which takes us to step two. 122 00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:17,177 Thoughts? 123 00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:18,914 I've got good news and bad news, people. 124 00:05:18,947 --> 00:05:21,185 What about spooky news? 125 00:05:21,218 --> 00:05:23,657 Ooh, you never hear about spooky news. 126 00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:25,962 - Right? - Ugh, tell me the bad news. 127 00:05:25,995 --> 00:05:28,166 Well, the good news is, the shoe phone worked great. 128 00:05:28,199 --> 00:05:30,136 And it gives me hope for my next invention, 129 00:05:30,169 --> 00:05:31,907 the brain parasite phone. 130 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,610 Krieger, the bad news. 131 00:05:33,643 --> 00:05:35,080 - The team was captured. - What? 132 00:05:35,113 --> 00:05:36,850 Oh, wait, there's more good news. 133 00:05:36,883 --> 00:05:38,086 They're in Greece. 134 00:05:38,119 --> 00:05:39,756 How is that good news? 135 00:05:39,789 --> 00:05:41,593 Duh. It's olive season. 136 00:05:41,626 --> 00:05:42,829 Okay, we have to rescue them. 137 00:05:42,862 --> 00:05:44,007 You're all back on field duty. 138 00:05:44,031 --> 00:05:45,801 Aww. Okay. 139 00:05:45,834 --> 00:05:47,839 Ugh, I guess I'll get my knives. 140 00:05:47,872 --> 00:05:50,010 Wait, how are we gonna get there on such short notice? 141 00:05:50,043 --> 00:05:51,880 You gave away the private plane. 142 00:05:51,913 --> 00:05:54,184 I gave away Robert's plane because we don't need it 143 00:05:54,217 --> 00:05:56,188 or him or his stupid money. 144 00:05:56,221 --> 00:05:58,159 There are other ways to travel. 145 00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,497 Four to Athens, please. 146 00:06:00,530 --> 00:06:02,034 No, I don't wanna check my knives. 147 00:06:02,067 --> 00:06:05,206 I wanna carry them on the plane like a normal person! 148 00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:07,645 Hey, Cyril, they still allow 149 00:06:07,678 --> 00:06:09,949 biological weapons on planes, right? 150 00:06:09,982 --> 00:06:11,653 What? No! 151 00:06:11,686 --> 00:06:13,189 Oh, really? 152 00:06:13,222 --> 00:06:14,693 Well, I'll be right back. 153 00:06:17,932 --> 00:06:19,168 I gotta say, Shelly, 154 00:06:19,201 --> 00:06:20,971 for a slow, inevitable death jail, 155 00:06:21,004 --> 00:06:22,775 this sea cave is pretty peaceful. 156 00:06:24,077 --> 00:06:25,648 But a way out would be nice. 157 00:06:25,681 --> 00:06:26,950 Where are the others? 158 00:06:26,983 --> 00:06:28,119 Sharks? 159 00:06:28,152 --> 00:06:29,956 There are no sharks in Greece. 160 00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:31,593 There's sharks in the ocean. 161 00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:33,062 All the oceans are connected. 162 00:06:33,095 --> 00:06:34,775 You're telling me a shark couldn't get to Greece? 163 00:06:34,799 --> 00:06:37,972 And get into this particular sea cave? 164 00:06:38,005 --> 00:06:39,676 Yeah, you've got a point there. 165 00:06:44,017 --> 00:06:45,654 Relax. I'm just trying to get your keys. 166 00:06:45,687 --> 00:06:47,558 But if you keep struggling... 167 00:06:49,762 --> 00:06:51,767 Hang on. Did you already drown? 168 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,036 It's been, like, ten seconds. 169 00:06:53,069 --> 00:06:54,873 Uh, note to Vanguard: 170 00:06:54,906 --> 00:06:56,652 the guy guarding the water jail should probably have 171 00:06:56,676 --> 00:06:57,756 bigger lungs than a canary. 172 00:06:59,047 --> 00:07:00,651 Take care, Shelly. 173 00:07:00,684 --> 00:07:03,757 And sorry for killing that guy in your cave. 174 00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:08,199 Vanguard leader, come out to play! 175 00:07:08,232 --> 00:07:09,602 Move, asshole. 176 00:07:09,635 --> 00:07:11,238 Oh, hey! You didn't drown. 177 00:07:11,271 --> 00:07:13,076 And I drowned someone else. 178 00:07:13,109 --> 00:07:15,815 It's called going above and beyond, Zara. 179 00:07:15,848 --> 00:07:17,618 Well, we're on step eight. 180 00:07:17,651 --> 00:07:19,589 See this guy's face? Step seven. 181 00:07:19,622 --> 00:07:21,660 Well, call me Saul of Tarsus. 182 00:07:21,693 --> 00:07:23,697 Why, are you blinding magicians now? 183 00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:25,768 No, you I'm a convert! 184 00:07:25,801 --> 00:07:27,070 This woman has a plan. 185 00:07:27,103 --> 00:07:28,874 She's like you, Archer, 186 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,880 if all the chaos and explosions and deaths were intentional. 187 00:07:31,913 --> 00:07:33,550 Everything I do is intentional. 188 00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:34,862 Remember when I crashed a space shuttle 189 00:07:34,886 --> 00:07:36,021 and Ray was paralyzed? 190 00:07:36,054 --> 00:07:37,792 - Vaguely. - Exactly. 191 00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,027 "Exactly" what? 192 00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:41,098 - He's even better now. - Says who? 193 00:07:41,131 --> 00:07:42,944 Well, if you're not, you should've said something. 194 00:07:42,968 --> 00:07:45,674 I complain literally all the time! 195 00:07:45,707 --> 00:07:47,879 Anyway, I'm gonna keep going on with the mission. 196 00:07:47,912 --> 00:07:49,047 Ha! 197 00:07:50,851 --> 00:07:52,254 Tell me where your boss is, 198 00:07:52,287 --> 00:07:54,826 or I will give you a bright idea. 199 00:07:54,859 --> 00:07:56,730 Because of the light bulb in his brain. 200 00:07:56,763 --> 00:07:58,934 - Nice. - What boss? 201 00:07:58,967 --> 00:08:01,105 Your boss. The leader. 202 00:08:01,138 --> 00:08:02,909 Of the Vanguard. 203 00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,879 The Vanguard has no leader. 204 00:08:04,912 --> 00:08:06,650 What step is learning 205 00:08:06,683 --> 00:08:07,818 your plan doesn't work? 206 00:08:09,287 --> 00:08:11,291 But obviously, this is bad for the mission. 207 00:08:15,801 --> 00:08:17,170 Uh, getting dark in here. 208 00:08:17,203 --> 00:08:19,642 Yeah, two ways. 209 00:08:19,675 --> 00:08:21,613 What do you mean the Vanguard has no leader? 210 00:08:21,646 --> 00:08:23,617 We're nonhierarchical. 211 00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:24,886 Everyone is the leader. 212 00:08:24,919 --> 00:08:26,255 To wipe out the Vanguard, 213 00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:28,760 you have to kill all 61 members. 214 00:08:28,793 --> 00:08:31,298 Technically 60. I accidentally drowned a guy. 215 00:08:31,331 --> 00:08:33,770 Maybe you know him? Bald? Lungs like a baby bird? 216 00:08:36,776 --> 00:08:39,148 Damn! And damn. 217 00:08:39,181 --> 00:08:41,786 - 59. So we're tied. - Not for long. 218 00:08:41,819 --> 00:08:43,991 - It's not a contest! - But it could be. 219 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,928 We've got a lot of Vanguard to take out. 220 00:08:45,961 --> 00:08:48,399 And an odd number. You know, to avoid ties. 221 00:08:48,432 --> 00:08:50,203 Yeah, 'cause that's the most important thing 222 00:08:50,236 --> 00:08:51,673 in a murder contest. 223 00:08:51,706 --> 00:08:53,677 The murders were accidents, Ray. 224 00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:56,182 - This will be more like... - A concussion contest. 225 00:08:56,215 --> 00:08:58,319 Exactly, but never finish my sentence again. 226 00:08:58,352 --> 00:08:59,756 It's on. 227 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,067 Whoever knocks out the most guards 228 00:09:01,091 --> 00:09:02,762 is officially the loosest cannon. 229 00:09:02,795 --> 00:09:04,766 - Loser is... - A normal lady cannon? 230 00:09:04,799 --> 00:09:06,335 If that's the label you prefer. 231 00:09:08,439 --> 00:09:09,909 Wait, you're okay? 232 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,084 Nope. So that's two me, and... 233 00:09:14,117 --> 00:09:15,688 All the rest me! 234 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:18,092 Oh, good, another mission based on spite. 235 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,896 I know! 236 00:09:19,929 --> 00:09:21,432 Wait, was that sarcasm? 237 00:09:21,465 --> 00:09:22,835 I'm thrilled. 238 00:09:22,868 --> 00:09:24,839 A rescue mission on a commercial plane 239 00:09:24,872 --> 00:09:26,108 with checked guns 240 00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:27,678 to save agents who failed to accomplish 241 00:09:27,711 --> 00:09:29,214 our first mission for Interpol, 242 00:09:29,247 --> 00:09:31,887 thus putting the entire future of this agency in jeopardy. 243 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,422 Also, the moron in front of me 244 00:09:33,455 --> 00:09:35,326 leaned his seat all the way back! 245 00:09:35,359 --> 00:09:38,165 Hey, I'm just exercising my right to recline. 246 00:09:38,198 --> 00:09:40,069 And your right to suck. 247 00:09:40,102 --> 00:09:41,773 I am calling the flight attendant. 248 00:09:41,806 --> 00:09:44,378 Fine, go crying to your sky mom. 249 00:09:44,411 --> 00:09:46,124 I just wanted to do things differently, you know, 250 00:09:46,148 --> 00:09:47,393 be the steady hand in the office, 251 00:09:47,417 --> 00:09:48,820 but instead, here I am, 252 00:09:48,853 --> 00:09:50,198 first mission in charge, back in the field. 253 00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:51,458 Maybe I can't leave. 254 00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:53,204 I mean, Archer doesn't work well on his own. 255 00:09:53,228 --> 00:09:54,966 - Are you okay? - No. 256 00:09:54,999 --> 00:09:57,137 My submarine has bigger seats than this! 257 00:09:57,170 --> 00:09:59,976 I asked you to charter us a private plane. 258 00:10:00,009 --> 00:10:02,214 And I thought flying commercial would be funny! 259 00:10:02,247 --> 00:10:04,218 They actually give you peanuts. 260 00:10:04,251 --> 00:10:06,255 I thought that was some kind of weird joke. 261 00:10:06,288 --> 00:10:08,392 Five perfectly good bioweapons 262 00:10:08,425 --> 00:10:10,129 thrown in a public trash can. 263 00:10:10,162 --> 00:10:12,735 They should be in a terrorist's trash can! 264 00:10:12,768 --> 00:10:15,340 Stop saying those words on a plane. 265 00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:17,077 Sir, I'm gonna need you 266 00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:19,014 to come with me to the back of the plane. 267 00:10:19,047 --> 00:10:20,951 Ooh, upgrade. 268 00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:25,894 I'll save your peanuts for later. 269 00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:31,038 Oh, I'm sorry. Were you gonna knock him out? 270 00:10:31,071 --> 00:10:32,440 No. 271 00:10:32,473 --> 00:10:34,511 I was going to knock him out. 272 00:10:34,545 --> 00:10:36,215 So you won't mind if I go after... 273 00:10:39,054 --> 00:10:41,225 The slowest, sickest guard on some future mission? 274 00:10:41,258 --> 00:10:43,897 Not at all. 275 00:10:43,930 --> 00:10:46,302 You know, in a weird, accidental way, 276 00:10:46,335 --> 00:10:47,872 they're kind of a good team. 277 00:11:00,363 --> 00:11:03,336 Yeah, they're a regular Farrell and Balanchine. 278 00:11:03,369 --> 00:11:05,473 Yeah, including the awkward age gap. 279 00:11:06,976 --> 00:11:09,181 Call it a tie? 280 00:11:09,214 --> 00:11:11,018 Hey, he was already unconscious! 281 00:11:11,051 --> 00:11:12,922 And excessive force is the tiebreaker. 282 00:11:12,955 --> 00:11:15,460 Point Archer, which means... 283 00:11:15,493 --> 00:11:18,767 I'm winning. 284 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:22,140 Damn, you guys have a cafeteria? 285 00:11:22,173 --> 00:11:24,946 We have to pay for our meals. 286 00:11:24,979 --> 00:11:27,083 I'm just saying, if the choice was between 287 00:11:27,116 --> 00:11:29,555 eating this meal and the plane crashing, 288 00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:31,826 I would choose the plane crash. 289 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:35,500 The chicken is very good. My compliments to the chef. 290 00:11:35,533 --> 00:11:37,972 Any chance the captain could speed this flight up? 291 00:11:38,005 --> 00:11:39,307 We're in a bit of a rush. 292 00:11:41,144 --> 00:11:43,449 Maybe stepping up to run the agency was the wrong move. 293 00:11:43,482 --> 00:11:45,062 I mean, I thought being in the office would be 294 00:11:45,086 --> 00:11:46,556 better for AJ, but not if I end up 295 00:11:46,589 --> 00:11:49,094 in the field every mission, and Cheryl, I need you to stop. 296 00:11:49,127 --> 00:11:51,165 I need more room! 297 00:11:51,198 --> 00:11:52,935 This is like a plane for bugs! 298 00:11:52,968 --> 00:11:54,839 Ma'am, just a reminder 299 00:11:54,872 --> 00:11:57,177 that the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. 300 00:11:57,210 --> 00:11:59,381 Just a reminder that I don't care. 301 00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,586 Ma'am, I need you to calm down. 302 00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:03,990 You are alarming the other passengers. 303 00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:05,193 Well, they should be alarmed, 304 00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:06,204 because I'm gonna buy this plane 305 00:12:06,228 --> 00:12:07,339 and crash it into the ground 306 00:12:07,363 --> 00:12:09,101 where all the other poor people live. 307 00:12:09,134 --> 00:12:12,006 The sky is for the rich, you fucking bugs! 308 00:12:24,264 --> 00:12:26,068 25. 309 00:12:26,101 --> 00:12:27,270 21. 310 00:12:27,303 --> 00:12:29,341 26 and 27. 311 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,345 Ugh, 21 again. 312 00:12:31,378 --> 00:12:34,017 Get your own. 313 00:12:34,050 --> 00:12:36,890 I'm not the one who needs to lay off the carbs. 314 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,027 Ha! Oh, now we're body-shaming? 315 00:12:39,060 --> 00:12:42,033 Call it body-constructive criticism. 316 00:12:42,066 --> 00:12:44,504 Same side, assholes! 317 00:12:46,341 --> 00:12:47,845 - Pam, stop. - What? 318 00:12:47,878 --> 00:12:49,090 We need an odd number of guards. 319 00:12:49,114 --> 00:12:51,251 If you knock one out, Zara and I might tie. 320 00:12:51,284 --> 00:12:53,857 Come on. Seriously? 321 00:12:56,061 --> 00:12:58,900 Hey, uh, before we do this, one question. 322 00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:00,536 Is anyone out sick today? 323 00:13:04,678 --> 00:13:07,383 What is happening? We landed an hour ago. 324 00:13:07,416 --> 00:13:08,519 Excuse me. 325 00:13:08,553 --> 00:13:10,289 Lana, we're not supposed 326 00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:12,460 to take off our seat belts until we're at the gate. 327 00:13:12,493 --> 00:13:13,930 And the gate is right there. 328 00:13:13,963 --> 00:13:15,543 Do they not know this is a rescue mission? 329 00:13:15,567 --> 00:13:18,339 On a commercial flight? Huh. How would they not? 330 00:13:18,372 --> 00:13:19,609 Are they leaving? 331 00:13:19,642 --> 00:13:21,478 Hey! Hey! 332 00:13:21,511 --> 00:13:23,583 You have a plane full of people here! 333 00:13:23,616 --> 00:13:26,121 Ma'am, it's not yet safe to stand. 334 00:13:26,154 --> 00:13:28,192 Oh, not safe? Why? 335 00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:30,931 Are we in danger of running into one of the zero employees 336 00:13:30,964 --> 00:13:32,167 currently helping out there? 337 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,672 - Ma'am... - Oh, do not "ma'am" me. 338 00:13:34,705 --> 00:13:36,943 I have jumped out of planes over war zones 339 00:13:36,976 --> 00:13:38,914 with a parachute made from a negligee. 340 00:13:38,947 --> 00:13:40,459 I think I'll be fine crossing the tarmac 341 00:13:40,483 --> 00:13:42,420 at Baklava International Airport. 342 00:13:42,453 --> 00:13:43,966 Don't you dare come at me with that ta... 343 00:13:50,002 --> 00:13:52,708 Ah, will you look at that? An eye massager. 344 00:13:52,741 --> 00:13:55,547 What'll they think of next? 345 00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:05,166 How many is that? 346 00:14:05,199 --> 00:14:07,237 Uh, little busy avoiding death 347 00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:08,607 and not being able to fight back. 348 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,579 Well, I count 30! 349 00:14:11,612 --> 00:14:12,948 Same. 350 00:14:14,417 --> 00:14:15,988 Ah! Damn it! 351 00:14:17,658 --> 00:14:20,196 - Seriously? - That face belongs to my fist! 352 00:14:20,229 --> 00:14:21,465 I could also just leave. 353 00:14:21,498 --> 00:14:22,500 No! 354 00:14:27,276 --> 00:14:30,316 50 on Archer, but 20 on Zara to break one of his arms. 355 00:14:30,349 --> 00:14:32,621 Ugh, who puts olives in lasagna? 356 00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:33,657 They are in season. 357 00:14:37,698 --> 00:14:39,367 Enough. 358 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,071 Uh, can whatever this is wait 359 00:14:41,104 --> 00:14:43,008 until I knock out this terrified man? 360 00:14:43,041 --> 00:14:44,545 I'm afraid not. 361 00:14:44,578 --> 00:14:47,383 I'm the Warden, leader of the Vanguard. 362 00:14:47,416 --> 00:14:49,154 - Wha... - Ugh! 363 00:14:49,187 --> 00:14:51,158 Sorry, it's not you. 364 00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,596 It's just, now there is an even number. 365 00:14:58,338 --> 00:15:01,411 Look at us. Tied with our own zips. 366 00:15:01,444 --> 00:15:03,583 Ugh, don't remind me... of the tie. 367 00:15:03,616 --> 00:15:05,286 It's 30 to 30. 368 00:15:05,319 --> 00:15:07,432 Is that seriously what you're thinking about right now? 369 00:15:07,456 --> 00:15:09,327 I mean... yes? 370 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,198 You know, I'm beginning to think 371 00:15:11,231 --> 00:15:14,037 you're not aspiring new recruits. 372 00:15:14,070 --> 00:15:16,141 We are, but she's a spy. 373 00:15:16,174 --> 00:15:18,078 Ugh, we're all spies. 374 00:15:18,111 --> 00:15:19,414 Is this still part of your plan? 375 00:15:19,447 --> 00:15:21,553 "Plan" in massive air quotes. 376 00:15:21,586 --> 00:15:24,291 Pretty sure y'all's little competition derailed the plan. 377 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,028 - Or did it? - It did. 378 00:15:26,061 --> 00:15:27,463 - I derailed you. - Ha! 379 00:15:27,496 --> 00:15:29,467 So you admit there was a plan to derail. 380 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,238 No! Uh, shit. Hang on, I... 381 00:15:33,075 --> 00:15:34,511 Do I have your attention? 382 00:15:34,545 --> 00:15:35,581 Not really, no. 383 00:15:37,049 --> 00:15:38,194 Have you ever heard that you catch 384 00:15:38,218 --> 00:15:39,555 more flies with honey? 385 00:15:39,588 --> 00:15:41,593 Oh, right in the same hole! 386 00:15:41,626 --> 00:15:43,329 Probably just luck. 387 00:15:43,362 --> 00:15:44,431 Oh! 388 00:15:44,464 --> 00:15:46,201 It's not luck. 389 00:15:46,234 --> 00:15:48,472 Same hole again. This guy's good. 390 00:15:48,505 --> 00:15:50,509 Okay. You have his attention. 391 00:15:50,542 --> 00:15:53,115 Still can't believe you're not nonhierarchical. 392 00:15:53,148 --> 00:15:55,186 A lie for my protection. 393 00:15:55,219 --> 00:15:57,323 If no one believes there's a leader, 394 00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:59,494 there's no leader to find. 395 00:15:59,527 --> 00:16:01,365 But, you know, someone has to write the checks 396 00:16:01,398 --> 00:16:03,135 and decide which holidays to take off. 397 00:16:03,168 --> 00:16:04,672 Oh, we've got someone like that. 398 00:16:04,705 --> 00:16:06,375 She's, uh, new at the job, 399 00:16:06,408 --> 00:16:08,479 but feel confident saying she's bad at it. 400 00:16:08,512 --> 00:16:10,584 It's certainly not going to help 401 00:16:10,617 --> 00:16:13,355 that she's lost an entire team. 402 00:16:13,388 --> 00:16:15,661 What? What? What? What? 403 00:16:15,694 --> 00:16:18,365 Why tie us up if you're just gonna shoot us right way? 404 00:16:18,398 --> 00:16:20,771 Why give 60 men concussions? 405 00:16:20,804 --> 00:16:23,810 You have your process, and I have mine. 406 00:16:23,843 --> 00:16:26,348 Wait! Are you really the leader of the Vanguard? 407 00:16:26,381 --> 00:16:27,685 - Yes. - But really? 408 00:16:27,718 --> 00:16:28,820 Really, really? 409 00:16:28,853 --> 00:16:30,657 - Yes. - Great. 410 00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:33,563 What the hell just happened? 411 00:16:33,596 --> 00:16:35,533 - Is that... - Step 12. 412 00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:36,836 Archer has a shoe phone. 413 00:16:36,869 --> 00:16:38,305 I have a shoe gun. 414 00:16:38,338 --> 00:16:39,642 Seems more useful. 415 00:16:39,675 --> 00:16:43,382 Oh, also, that's 31 to 30, so I win. 416 00:16:43,415 --> 00:16:44,785 Step 12? 417 00:16:44,818 --> 00:16:47,791 I thought we were still on step nine! 418 00:16:47,824 --> 00:16:50,831 Zara, I'm gonna tell you what I told the dry cleaner 419 00:16:50,864 --> 00:16:53,168 who got yuzu off my yukata: 420 00:16:53,201 --> 00:16:54,404 you might be a genius. 421 00:16:54,437 --> 00:16:55,807 Yeah, you might... 422 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,319 Warden down. 423 00:16:57,343 --> 00:17:00,817 Vanguard base to self-destruct in five minutes. 424 00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:03,857 The base explodes if the Warden dies? 425 00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:07,196 Does the new leader have to build a completely new base? 426 00:17:07,229 --> 00:17:08,600 I'm a little more concerned 427 00:17:08,633 --> 00:17:10,436 about how we're all tied to chairs 428 00:17:10,469 --> 00:17:12,574 in a building that's about to explode. 429 00:17:12,607 --> 00:17:14,812 So, genius, what part of the plan is this? 430 00:17:14,845 --> 00:17:16,281 Technically, the plan only went up 431 00:17:16,314 --> 00:17:17,818 to killing the leader of the Vanguard, 432 00:17:17,851 --> 00:17:21,291 so I guess the plan is to blow up in five minutes. 433 00:17:21,324 --> 00:17:22,561 New plan. 434 00:17:22,594 --> 00:17:24,665 Hope that the shoe phones are waterproof. 435 00:17:27,436 --> 00:17:28,873 - Archer. - You'll have to speak up. 436 00:17:28,906 --> 00:17:31,311 I'm calling on a long-distance shoe. 437 00:17:31,344 --> 00:17:32,590 We'll be there in five minutes. 438 00:17:32,614 --> 00:17:33,859 Although, full disclosure, 439 00:17:33,883 --> 00:17:35,453 the airline lost our bags, 440 00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:37,891 so we don't have any weapons or beach clothes. 441 00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,762 Uh, additional full disclosure, 442 00:17:39,795 --> 00:17:41,465 we're blowing up in four minutes. 443 00:17:41,498 --> 00:17:42,500 - What? - Okay, tell them 444 00:17:42,533 --> 00:17:43,737 we have one knife. 445 00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:45,306 Oh, where did you get that? 446 00:17:45,339 --> 00:17:47,377 - Uh, I brought it? - On the plane? 447 00:17:47,410 --> 00:17:48,580 It's ceramic. 448 00:17:48,613 --> 00:17:50,349 Lana, in case we explode, 449 00:17:50,382 --> 00:17:52,721 I want you to know, I've never respected... 450 00:17:52,754 --> 00:17:54,324 Archer? Archer. 451 00:17:54,357 --> 00:17:55,727 The battery must be dead. 452 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,865 I told him I could've fit more batteries 453 00:17:57,898 --> 00:17:59,568 in a kitten heel. 454 00:18:00,336 --> 00:18:02,574 On the bright side, now that we're tied to chairs 455 00:18:02,607 --> 00:18:04,177 instead of a cave ceiling, 456 00:18:04,210 --> 00:18:06,883 I can move close enough to do this. 457 00:18:06,916 --> 00:18:09,487 Do what? Kick the air near me? 458 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,857 You know that wasn't my intent! 459 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,360 Fight toward an exit. 460 00:18:12,393 --> 00:18:14,197 We've got three minutes. 461 00:18:15,499 --> 00:18:17,236 All you'd have to do is sit here, 462 00:18:17,269 --> 00:18:20,644 and you'd never have to deal with any of them ever again. 463 00:18:22,379 --> 00:18:24,451 And miss all that good TV? 464 00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:25,921 No. 465 00:18:29,427 --> 00:18:31,264 Whoa! 466 00:18:49,735 --> 00:18:51,238 Just let me go first! 467 00:18:51,271 --> 00:18:52,708 I'd rather die. 468 00:18:52,741 --> 00:18:53,910 You're about to. 469 00:18:53,943 --> 00:18:55,814 You don't know my explosion tolerance! 470 00:18:55,847 --> 00:18:57,617 Grudge later, you dicks. 471 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,694 Oh, thank God. I'm so glad to see you. 472 00:19:04,832 --> 00:19:07,503 31! We tied. 473 00:19:09,675 --> 00:19:11,813 Oh, thank God. We're not too late. 474 00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:16,589 Not too late for what, s'mores? 475 00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:18,459 Oh, my God. 476 00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:20,429 They're... they're gone. 477 00:19:20,462 --> 00:19:22,300 They're... they're really gone. 478 00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:24,437 If we can find even a shred of DNA, 479 00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:26,408 I can bring them back. 480 00:19:26,441 --> 00:19:27,878 In the bodies of dogs. 481 00:19:27,911 --> 00:19:29,514 Any dog you want. 482 00:19:29,548 --> 00:19:31,686 Collies, Labradors, pugs. 483 00:19:31,719 --> 00:19:32,855 Look! 484 00:19:43,576 --> 00:19:45,412 How do I keep forgetting I can do that? 485 00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:46,625 Because you don't want to admit to yourself 486 00:19:46,649 --> 00:19:47,885 that you're an abomination? 487 00:19:47,918 --> 00:19:49,955 Oh, there it is. 488 00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:51,959 - Lana Kane. - Zara Kahn. 489 00:19:51,992 --> 00:19:53,830 So the leader of the Vanguard is dead. 490 00:19:53,863 --> 00:19:55,466 Their facility is destroyed. 491 00:19:55,499 --> 00:19:56,778 I believe Interpol would consider that 492 00:19:56,802 --> 00:19:57,905 a mission accomplished. 493 00:19:57,938 --> 00:19:59,575 Congratulations. 494 00:19:59,608 --> 00:20:02,548 And better luck next time, lady cannon. 495 00:20:02,581 --> 00:20:04,819 Uh, more like same luck this time. 496 00:20:04,852 --> 00:20:05,996 I got the final guard on the way out, 497 00:20:06,020 --> 00:20:07,991 which means we tied. What do you say to that? 498 00:20:08,024 --> 00:20:10,564 Step 5B: provide a metaphorical fig leaf 499 00:20:10,597 --> 00:20:12,568 for your limp, wilting ego. 500 00:20:12,601 --> 00:20:15,306 There were sub-steps? 501 00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,376 There were sub-steps. 502 00:20:17,409 --> 00:20:19,480 Uh, what's happening on this mission? 503 00:20:19,513 --> 00:20:22,019 A commercial airline made a powerful enemy. 504 00:20:22,052 --> 00:20:23,756 Your attitude was tanking the mission, 505 00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:25,459 so I gave you a goal to get you in line. 506 00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:26,929 It's not a contest! 507 00:20:26,962 --> 00:20:28,766 But it could be. 508 00:20:28,799 --> 00:20:30,879 You thought you were proving you were a loose cannon. 509 00:20:30,904 --> 00:20:33,776 I had you tied down the whole time. 510 00:20:33,809 --> 00:20:36,481 No, that's... I... this doesn't make you the loose cannon! 511 00:20:36,514 --> 00:20:37,985 Oh, I'm not a loose cannon. 512 00:20:38,018 --> 00:20:41,057 I'm more a shotgun filled with scalpels. 513 00:20:41,090 --> 00:20:42,460 Ooh, I'm getting one of those. 514 00:20:42,493 --> 00:20:44,899 How have I not made one of those? 515 00:20:44,932 --> 00:20:48,472 Hmm, maybe I don't need to go back in the field after all. 516 00:20:48,505 --> 00:20:49,651 How would you like a new job? 517 00:20:49,675 --> 00:20:50,877 Would I have to relocate? 518 00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:52,781 - I'm based in Europe. - Oh. Uh... 519 00:20:52,814 --> 00:20:54,952 And if I do relocate, is there a moving stipend? 520 00:20:54,985 --> 00:20:56,756 Also, am I under a fixed contract? 521 00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,492 Who deals with my migration status? 522 00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,362 And if I quit, do I get to keep the stipend? 523 00:21:00,395 --> 00:21:01,899 Uh, sure that we can do, um... 524 00:21:01,932 --> 00:21:04,370 No! I'm fucking with you. 525 00:21:04,403 --> 00:21:05,907 I've been looking for a new challenge, 526 00:21:05,940 --> 00:21:08,120 and you seem like a better boss than those Interpol pricks. 527 00:21:08,144 --> 00:21:10,684 But I want what Archer makes, plus $1. 528 00:21:10,717 --> 00:21:12,520 Wha... on what basis? 529 00:21:12,554 --> 00:21:14,524 On the basis that I was the best at Interpol. 530 00:21:14,558 --> 00:21:16,829 I'll be the best at whatever you guys are. 531 00:21:16,862 --> 00:21:19,802 - Deal. You are hired. - What? 532 00:21:19,835 --> 00:21:21,706 You know, I sort of liked flying commercial. 533 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,576 There was more bondage than I expected. 534 00:21:23,609 --> 00:21:24,912 What just happened? 535 00:21:24,945 --> 00:21:26,949 I think you just got a new partner 536 00:21:26,982 --> 00:21:29,387 who technically makes more than you. 537 00:21:29,420 --> 00:21:30,690 Like I care. 538 00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:32,102 Cyril, do you think she knows I don't care? 539 00:21:32,126 --> 00:21:33,095 I don't know. 540 00:21:33,128 --> 00:21:34,097 Well, she needs to, 541 00:21:34,130 --> 00:21:36,569 because I don't. 542 00:21:36,602 --> 00:21:38,105 Zara? 543 00:21:38,138 --> 00:21:39,808 Zara? 544 00:21:39,841 --> 00:21:41,812 Zara! 545 00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:06,527 Made in Georgia.