1 00:00:17,812 --> 00:00:19,583 - Forward to HR. 2 00:00:19,616 --> 00:00:20,885 Hmm, not quite. 3 00:00:20,918 --> 00:00:22,589 Fix section two and bring it to my office. 4 00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:24,693 Open door policy. 5 00:00:24,726 --> 00:00:27,565 Tell them no, and swear a lot. 6 00:00:27,598 --> 00:00:30,203 I expect foulness and creativity. 7 00:00:33,376 --> 00:00:35,247 - Hey, how was your weekend? Do not care. 8 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:36,224 Where's the booze? 9 00:00:36,248 --> 00:00:37,418 I'm sure you're capable 10 00:00:37,451 --> 00:00:38,691 of finding a drink on your own. 11 00:00:38,721 --> 00:00:41,359 - Come on. Where would I find... 12 00:00:41,392 --> 00:00:43,631 I'll consider this an apology. 13 00:00:43,664 --> 00:00:45,367 - Wow, you guys actually look pretty good. 14 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:46,469 - Thank you for noticing. 15 00:00:46,502 --> 00:00:48,440 I am on a new fitness regimen. 16 00:00:48,473 --> 00:00:50,578 - I've been practicing on the range. 17 00:00:52,214 --> 00:00:53,718 Didn't practice the spinning, though, 18 00:00:53,751 --> 00:00:55,320 which I thought would be easier. 19 00:00:55,353 --> 00:00:57,291 - And I feel like there's only a 10% chance 20 00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:58,526 I'll attack my coworkers' eyes 21 00:00:58,560 --> 00:00:59,930 with stainless steel kebab skewers. 22 00:00:59,963 --> 00:01:01,800 - I mean, you should really be at zero. 23 00:01:02,969 --> 00:01:04,606 - Now it's up to 20. - Ah! 24 00:01:04,639 --> 00:01:05,684 Lana: Eh, still pretty good. 25 00:01:05,708 --> 00:01:07,177 All right, back to basics here. 26 00:01:07,210 --> 00:01:08,513 Missions that make us money 27 00:01:08,547 --> 00:01:09,825 and make the world a better place. 28 00:01:09,849 --> 00:01:11,486 No muss, no waste. 29 00:01:11,519 --> 00:01:13,657 - That certainly explains these guys. 30 00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:15,460 - You, uh, ready for us to start? 31 00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:16,830 - Yep, we're all about efficiency, 32 00:01:16,863 --> 00:01:18,500 so you can start now. 33 00:01:19,903 --> 00:01:22,474 - So this "no waste" thing, Lana. 34 00:01:22,507 --> 00:01:25,480 How does that jive with your office remodel? 35 00:01:25,513 --> 00:01:28,386 - It's part of my new philosophy, true transparency. 36 00:01:28,419 --> 00:01:30,658 The walls of my office will be glass. 37 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:33,229 - Isn't it a contradiction for a spy agency 38 00:01:33,262 --> 00:01:34,866 to be so transparent? 39 00:01:34,899 --> 00:01:36,335 - No! - Why not? 40 00:01:36,368 --> 00:01:38,506 Because shut up! 41 00:01:38,539 --> 00:01:41,747 I mean, that's not really constructive right now, Cyril. 42 00:01:41,780 --> 00:01:42,849 - Nice save. 43 00:01:42,882 --> 00:01:44,285 I don't think anyone noticed. 44 00:01:44,318 --> 00:01:45,688 - Could you keep it... 45 00:01:46,757 --> 00:01:48,694 Down for just a minute 46 00:01:48,727 --> 00:01:50,598 until the briefing is over? 47 00:01:52,635 --> 00:01:54,673 Mission one of our new era. 48 00:01:54,706 --> 00:01:56,877 The Vanguard is a crew of international jewel thieves. 49 00:01:56,910 --> 00:01:57,979 Ex-Special Forces. 50 00:01:58,012 --> 00:01:59,315 Highly organized. 51 00:01:59,348 --> 00:02:00,918 They have stolen billions. 52 00:02:00,951 --> 00:02:02,622 - Who cares about shiny rocks? 53 00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:03,924 Unless... 54 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,563 Are we working for magpies? - Ray? 55 00:02:06,596 --> 00:02:08,901 - Y'all, this is our trial to work with Interpol. 56 00:02:08,934 --> 00:02:11,272 One of their agents is asking us for the assist. 57 00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:12,474 Both: Wow. Cheryl: Interpol! 58 00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:13,887 - This could really put us on the map, 59 00:02:13,911 --> 00:02:15,982 and that map is of Paris, France, Europe. 60 00:02:16,015 --> 00:02:17,685 - Nice! Who thinks I can eat 61 00:02:17,718 --> 00:02:19,422 a whole baguette without chewing? 62 00:02:19,455 --> 00:02:20,567 Bets on the table. Odds are two to one. 63 00:02:20,591 --> 00:02:21,627 - Nah. - Pass. 64 00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:22,729 - No. - Obviously you can. 65 00:02:22,762 --> 00:02:24,265 - Oh, right, you guys saw that one. 66 00:02:24,298 --> 00:02:25,835 - Pretty impressive, and it did make 67 00:02:25,868 --> 00:02:27,404 for an entertaining funeral brunch. 68 00:02:27,437 --> 00:02:28,974 - Pam, with all the new hires, 69 00:02:29,007 --> 00:02:30,912 I need you here to keep an eye on HR. 70 00:02:30,945 --> 00:02:33,016 - But Paris! And... 71 00:02:34,451 --> 00:02:35,997 Sorry, thought I had it. Didn't have it. 72 00:02:36,021 --> 00:02:37,291 But come on! 73 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,794 I can do both at the same time. 74 00:02:38,827 --> 00:02:40,540 - Just like solemnly paying your last respects 75 00:02:40,564 --> 00:02:42,434 and inhaling carbs. 76 00:02:42,467 --> 00:02:44,472 - Exactly. Thank you. 77 00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:46,542 I'll do HR stuff from the phone over there. 78 00:02:46,576 --> 00:02:47,846 - Ugh, all right. 79 00:02:47,879 --> 00:02:49,281 Pam, you'll go with Archer and Ray. 80 00:02:49,314 --> 00:02:50,952 - Uh, I like Paris. 81 00:02:50,985 --> 00:02:53,591 - Yeah, I need you here to get Accounting up to speed. 82 00:02:53,624 --> 00:02:54,826 - Pam gets to go. 83 00:02:54,859 --> 00:02:56,362 - Yeah, but we like her. 84 00:02:56,395 --> 00:02:57,899 - Okay. We get this right, 85 00:02:57,932 --> 00:02:59,836 and we'll have all the Interpol work we can eat. 86 00:02:59,869 --> 00:03:01,506 It's all a part of our new beginning. 87 00:03:01,539 --> 00:03:04,345 And with that, continue. 88 00:03:09,622 --> 00:03:11,894 And in the interest of new beginnings, 89 00:03:11,927 --> 00:03:13,931 maybe we keep this to ourselves. 90 00:03:15,466 --> 00:03:16,970 Don't worry, Lana. 91 00:03:17,003 --> 00:03:19,375 He was probably just gasping at your progressive leadership. 92 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:20,878 - B-b-b-body! 93 00:03:20,911 --> 00:03:22,748 - No, it was the body. 94 00:04:04,031 --> 00:04:05,400 - Why does everyone stand up? 95 00:04:05,433 --> 00:04:06,646 It's not like we're going anywhere. 96 00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:07,672 - You're standing up. 97 00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:09,809 - Otherwise, I'll lose my spot. 98 00:04:10,878 --> 00:04:12,047 - Look at me like that again, 99 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,651 and I'll slap you like a Huguenot. 100 00:04:13,684 --> 00:04:15,353 - Dude, you need to chill. 101 00:04:15,386 --> 00:04:18,426 The wine they have in France is l'amazing. 102 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,430 - Uh, yeah, this stuff's from Quebec, 103 00:04:20,463 --> 00:04:22,635 and I think it's made from beaver squeezins. 104 00:04:22,668 --> 00:04:24,573 - Ah, the French. 105 00:04:24,606 --> 00:04:26,442 - Where's the romance, the intrigue? 106 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,012 Spies do not fly coach! 107 00:04:28,045 --> 00:04:30,952 - But they do apparently yell about how they're spies. 108 00:04:30,985 --> 00:04:33,022 - Misdirection, everyone! 109 00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:35,060 - Who's this Interpol douche anyway? 110 00:04:35,093 --> 00:04:37,097 - All it said was "Agent Z." 111 00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:38,667 - Probably some washed-up hack, 112 00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:40,571 a bureaucratic mushroom feeding 113 00:04:40,604 --> 00:04:42,107 on the decaying corpse of Europe, 114 00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:44,378 giving come-hither looks to his... 115 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:50,992 - Shotgun! - Shotgun! 116 00:04:51,025 --> 00:04:52,494 Ah, damn it! 117 00:04:56,535 --> 00:04:58,106 - Zara Khan, Interpol. 118 00:04:58,139 --> 00:05:01,178 - We weren't expecting someone with your profile 119 00:05:01,211 --> 00:05:02,582 or bone structure. 120 00:05:02,615 --> 00:05:04,118 - Well, it's a blessing and a curse. 121 00:05:04,151 --> 00:05:05,655 - Uh, what's the curse? 122 00:05:05,688 --> 00:05:06,599 - Pretending there's a curse part. 123 00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:08,026 - L'zing. 124 00:05:08,059 --> 00:05:10,163 - So you are officially independent consultants 125 00:05:10,196 --> 00:05:12,034 joining me on a fact-finding mission. 126 00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:13,704 - And unofficially? 127 00:05:13,737 --> 00:05:16,042 - Unofficially, I'd recommend a more modern hairstyle. 128 00:05:16,075 --> 00:05:17,144 - Double zing! 129 00:05:17,177 --> 00:05:18,747 - I would, but I'd be arrested 130 00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:19,916 by the U.S. Park Service 131 00:05:19,949 --> 00:05:22,020 for desecrating a national treasure. 132 00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,095 Uh, you in a hurry here? 133 00:05:27,732 --> 00:05:29,068 - Always. 134 00:05:32,007 --> 00:05:33,518 Wait, what are we doing? 135 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:34,913 - Like I said, fact-finding. 136 00:05:34,946 --> 00:05:36,091 We're just chasing down a lead. 137 00:05:36,115 --> 00:05:37,952 Ah! 138 00:05:37,985 --> 00:05:40,591 - Jesus. Um, was it in that guy's skull? 139 00:05:40,624 --> 00:05:41,793 - Doesn't look like it, 140 00:05:41,826 --> 00:05:44,899 but I bet there are more skulls in here. 141 00:05:44,932 --> 00:05:46,111 Krieger: Well, it's not one of mine. 142 00:05:46,135 --> 00:05:47,839 - Wait, what do you mean, "one of yours"? 143 00:05:47,872 --> 00:05:50,176 - Well, this one has the "right" number of heads, 144 00:05:50,209 --> 00:05:51,647 and look at those hands. 145 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:52,749 Oh! 146 00:05:52,782 --> 00:05:54,653 Zero embedded poison sacs. 147 00:05:54,686 --> 00:05:55,697 Cheryl: Well, we're in luck. 148 00:05:55,721 --> 00:05:57,491 The teeth are well-preserved. 149 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,638 - Okay, cross-reference those with our dental records. 150 00:05:59,662 --> 00:06:00,874 - I don't know what that means. 151 00:06:00,898 --> 00:06:02,467 I just think teeth are neat. 152 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:04,639 "Hey, bones, get back inside!" 153 00:06:04,672 --> 00:06:05,841 "No!" 154 00:06:05,874 --> 00:06:07,712 - So we're calling the police, right, 155 00:06:07,745 --> 00:06:09,783 since we're so above board now? 156 00:06:09,816 --> 00:06:12,755 - Yeah, this is an internal matter. 157 00:06:12,788 --> 00:06:15,861 - Internal, like my fingers in this dead guy's mouth. 158 00:06:15,894 --> 00:06:17,239 - Internal like I'm going to gently convince 159 00:06:17,263 --> 00:06:18,801 and/or threaten the guy that saw this 160 00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:20,103 so he forgets all about it. 161 00:06:20,136 --> 00:06:21,740 Go get him. 162 00:06:21,773 --> 00:06:25,213 I think he just walked in. 163 00:06:25,246 --> 00:06:27,919 - Well, that saves time. 164 00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:29,565 - Tell me where the Eye of the Serpent is! 165 00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,693 - Are we straight up robbing this guy? 166 00:06:31,726 --> 00:06:33,038 - He doesn't look like a cat burglar. 167 00:06:33,062 --> 00:06:34,273 - Because he's clearly a dog person. 168 00:06:34,297 --> 00:06:35,643 - Don't say dog person! - Boom, got it in. 169 00:06:35,667 --> 00:06:36,603 - No, you did not. 170 00:06:36,636 --> 00:06:38,506 - Whoa, uh, guys. 171 00:06:38,539 --> 00:06:41,078 - If you don't tell me, it's your pinky or your pug. 172 00:06:41,111 --> 00:06:42,047 Owner: Oh, Muffin! 173 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,784 Zara: Your choice. 174 00:06:43,817 --> 00:06:46,188 - I... I... I can't choose. 175 00:06:46,221 --> 00:06:47,725 - Guess it's both. 176 00:06:47,758 --> 00:06:49,629 - 3, 2... - Oh, no! Oh, no! No! 177 00:06:49,662 --> 00:06:52,000 - I'll tell. I'll tell! 178 00:06:55,607 --> 00:06:56,943 - I wouldn't have shot the dog. 179 00:06:56,976 --> 00:06:58,146 - And the finger? 180 00:06:58,179 --> 00:06:59,883 - I've always thought ten is a lot. 181 00:06:59,916 --> 00:07:02,054 Oh, mints. 182 00:07:05,193 --> 00:07:07,230 - This is a real roller coaster. 183 00:07:07,263 --> 00:07:09,702 - She knows how to handle herself, though. 184 00:07:09,735 --> 00:07:11,314 - I don't trust her. This whole thing is designed 185 00:07:11,338 --> 00:07:13,610 to bond us to her through intense emotion. 186 00:07:13,643 --> 00:07:14,846 You gotta fight it. 187 00:07:14,879 --> 00:07:17,084 - Jesus Christ, you worry too much. 188 00:07:17,117 --> 00:07:19,154 - That is famously not my problem. 189 00:07:19,187 --> 00:07:20,591 Tell her! 190 00:07:20,624 --> 00:07:22,595 - He gets shot, like, all the time. 191 00:07:22,628 --> 00:07:24,899 - And safe sex? Forget it. 192 00:07:24,932 --> 00:07:28,072 He is absolutely riddled with God knows what. 193 00:07:28,105 --> 00:07:29,676 The doctors sure don't. 194 00:07:29,709 --> 00:07:30,745 - Good to know. 195 00:07:30,778 --> 00:07:31,722 - Do you think she likes me? 196 00:07:31,746 --> 00:07:32,749 - You're pathetic. 197 00:07:33,784 --> 00:07:35,654 owner: I've done all I can. 198 00:07:35,687 --> 00:07:37,792 That's 3-inch glass that can only be opened 199 00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,061 by the insurance company. 200 00:07:39,094 --> 00:07:40,330 - Bollocks. 201 00:07:40,363 --> 00:07:42,033 Guess we should probably just give up. 202 00:07:42,066 --> 00:07:45,140 Unless... did anyone bring a hypersonic punch? 203 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:46,175 Huh? What? Huh? 204 00:07:46,208 --> 00:07:47,812 I guess I did! 205 00:07:50,016 --> 00:07:51,294 You'll want to get behind something. 206 00:07:57,363 --> 00:07:59,636 - Is there any practical difference between 207 00:07:59,669 --> 00:08:01,573 what we just did and blatant crime? 208 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,844 - Mm, it's more the attitude. 209 00:08:03,877 --> 00:08:05,046 - Uh, spl... 210 00:08:05,079 --> 00:08:06,549 - Do not say it. I forbid it. 211 00:08:08,319 --> 00:08:09,321 Sploosh. 212 00:08:09,354 --> 00:08:11,192 Archer: I heard that! 213 00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:14,331 - And I am sorry you were privy to that internal discussion. 214 00:08:14,364 --> 00:08:16,202 We try to keep things lighthearted. 215 00:08:16,235 --> 00:08:19,107 - Not a problem, though I have already informed everyone 216 00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:20,911 about the body because of our stated values 217 00:08:20,944 --> 00:08:22,982 of openness and transparency. 218 00:08:23,015 --> 00:08:24,118 - Cheryl! 219 00:08:24,151 --> 00:08:25,988 Go get me some staples, please. 220 00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:27,725 - Oh! Wait, you're right. 221 00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:29,896 Those will totally hurt more. 222 00:08:29,929 --> 00:08:31,265 - Thank you, Kurt. 223 00:08:31,298 --> 00:08:32,935 I'm glad to hear you did that. 224 00:08:32,968 --> 00:08:34,271 - You are? 225 00:08:34,304 --> 00:08:36,308 - Obviously, because I'd already scheduled 226 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,680 a town hall where I'll be very happy 227 00:08:38,713 --> 00:08:40,250 to hear everyone's concerns. 228 00:08:40,283 --> 00:08:42,020 - Uh-huh. 229 00:08:42,053 --> 00:08:43,657 - Does it bother you that Cheryl has 230 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,160 a kebab skewer holster? 231 00:08:45,193 --> 00:08:48,065 - Mm, not as much as it should. 232 00:08:51,104 --> 00:08:52,651 - All right, you need to tell us what's going on, 233 00:08:52,675 --> 00:08:54,111 like, now, because... 234 00:08:54,144 --> 00:08:56,282 - Oh, she's got a little slide show. 235 00:08:56,315 --> 00:08:58,186 - Last week, the Vanguard stole a sculpture 236 00:08:58,219 --> 00:09:00,958 called the Golden Dragon from a private collector. 237 00:09:00,991 --> 00:09:02,662 This, the emerald we stole today, 238 00:09:02,695 --> 00:09:04,364 was originally one of its eyes. 239 00:09:04,397 --> 00:09:06,736 We steal the second tomorrow from the National Gallery. 240 00:09:06,769 --> 00:09:08,239 Questions? 241 00:09:08,272 --> 00:09:10,778 - Um, feels more like a crime spree. 242 00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:12,882 How does this get us to the Vanguard? 243 00:09:12,915 --> 00:09:14,193 - I've chased these guys for years. 244 00:09:14,217 --> 00:09:15,688 They're impenetrable. 245 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,132 The only time they interact with outsiders 246 00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:18,927 is when they recruit new members. 247 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,432 - So we're basically rushing the Vanguard's fraternity? 248 00:09:21,465 --> 00:09:23,035 - No, thanks. 249 00:09:23,068 --> 00:09:25,206 My doctor says I have to cut down on getting paddled, 250 00:09:25,239 --> 00:09:28,111 or I'll develop something called "dead ass." 251 00:09:28,947 --> 00:09:30,149 What? 252 00:09:30,182 --> 00:09:32,087 Sorry my life's cooler than yours. 253 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,891 - And Interpol is fine with this? 254 00:09:33,924 --> 00:09:35,728 - In theory. - That means no. 255 00:09:35,761 --> 00:09:37,965 - Every time I've gotten close to these guys, they bolt. 256 00:09:37,998 --> 00:09:39,334 We're pretty sure we have a mole, 257 00:09:39,367 --> 00:09:40,771 which is why we hired you guys. 258 00:09:41,839 --> 00:09:43,810 Let's all get some rest. 259 00:09:43,843 --> 00:09:47,117 Today you were just back-up, but tomorrow is the real deal. 260 00:09:48,954 --> 00:09:50,958 - So we're turning her in to the cops, right? 261 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:52,427 If the French have cops 262 00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:54,699 and not mimes with invisible guns. 263 00:09:54,732 --> 00:09:55,935 - What are you talking about? 264 00:09:55,968 --> 00:09:57,103 - Stealing jewels, 265 00:09:57,136 --> 00:09:58,481 pretending there's a mole in Interpol 266 00:09:58,505 --> 00:09:59,909 so we don't contact them. 267 00:09:59,942 --> 00:10:01,780 She's obviously part of Vanguard 268 00:10:01,813 --> 00:10:04,151 and even more obviously gonna double-cross us. 269 00:10:04,184 --> 00:10:06,856 - Okay, and you're sure you're not just saying that 270 00:10:06,889 --> 00:10:08,927 because you're intimidated by her? 271 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,931 - And she is not at all into you? 272 00:10:10,964 --> 00:10:12,768 - One, she's obviously into me, 273 00:10:12,801 --> 00:10:16,242 because I can read the subtle art of reverse body language. 274 00:10:16,275 --> 00:10:18,346 And two, I'm not into her. 275 00:10:18,379 --> 00:10:20,450 - You seem pretty worked up, bud. 276 00:10:20,483 --> 00:10:22,955 Things will look better if you go have a glass of wine, 277 00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:26,028 meditate, then gaze down at the Paris streets 278 00:10:26,061 --> 00:10:27,364 while you rub one out. 279 00:10:27,397 --> 00:10:29,034 That's what this gal is gonna do. 280 00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:30,470 - I mean, I wasn't gonna do that, 281 00:10:30,503 --> 00:10:32,474 but I think I have new plans. 282 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,411 - Yeah, you guys are probably right. 283 00:10:34,444 --> 00:10:36,282 Maybe I am overreacting. 284 00:10:36,315 --> 00:10:37,918 I'll just call it a night. 285 00:10:41,893 --> 00:10:43,429 Misdirection. 286 00:10:45,499 --> 00:10:47,404 God, I hate being right all the time. 287 00:10:47,437 --> 00:10:49,007 Wait, no, I don't. 288 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,411 It's the best. 289 00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:02,500 - Ah, the perfect place to meet up 290 00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:05,139 with your Vanguard buddies. 291 00:11:05,172 --> 00:11:07,110 Mmm, mmm, wow. 292 00:11:07,143 --> 00:11:08,446 Mmm, that's pretty good. 293 00:11:08,479 --> 00:11:10,483 You should order that again. 294 00:11:11,853 --> 00:11:13,757 Ah, the perfect place to... 295 00:11:15,059 --> 00:11:16,763 Be backstabbed by your friends! 296 00:11:16,796 --> 00:11:17,965 - You what? 297 00:11:17,998 --> 00:11:19,043 - I said the first part over there. 298 00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:20,069 - Come on. 299 00:11:20,102 --> 00:11:21,171 We're just hanging out. 300 00:11:21,204 --> 00:11:22,240 - Monsieur, une chaise? 301 00:11:22,273 --> 00:11:23,376 - Make it two, pal. 302 00:11:23,409 --> 00:11:25,814 - Wow, going pretty hard, huh? 303 00:11:25,847 --> 00:11:28,252 - Oh, you haven't seen me go hard. 304 00:11:28,285 --> 00:11:30,132 - I think a lot of ladies haven't seen you go hard. 305 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,195 Also, you just ordered two chairs. 306 00:11:33,228 --> 00:11:34,999 - Can you please keep it down? 307 00:11:35,032 --> 00:11:37,003 Everybody's looking at us. 308 00:11:37,036 --> 00:11:39,408 - Look, Archer, you seemed pretty steamed, 309 00:11:39,441 --> 00:11:41,512 so I figured I'd let you cool off. 310 00:11:41,546 --> 00:11:43,291 But I just want to get to know you guys better. 311 00:11:43,315 --> 00:11:45,453 - Yeah, probably to probe for weaknesses. 312 00:11:45,486 --> 00:11:47,090 - Sure it's not about something else? 313 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,492 - Yeah, they told me how someone 314 00:11:48,525 --> 00:11:50,964 posing as an Interpol liaison kidnapped your child. 315 00:11:50,997 --> 00:11:52,300 That must have been really hard. 316 00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:54,839 - Well, I guess it was diff... Wait a second! 317 00:11:54,872 --> 00:11:57,377 Why are you giving her information about my family? 318 00:11:57,410 --> 00:12:00,149 And don't try to plumb my psychological depths, 319 00:12:00,182 --> 00:12:02,955 because I assure you, I don't have any. 320 00:12:02,988 --> 00:12:04,559 Pam, you're in contact with Lana. 321 00:12:04,592 --> 00:12:05,961 What does she think of all this? 322 00:12:05,994 --> 00:12:07,932 - Um, I actually turned my phone off 323 00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:08,976 to concentrate on the mission, 324 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,269 because I'm a professional. 325 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,475 Oh, boy. 326 00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:17,217 - HR won't respond to our complaints. 327 00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:20,056 - All we're asking is a simple workplace safety question. 328 00:12:20,089 --> 00:12:22,093 How did the body get in the wall? 329 00:12:22,126 --> 00:12:23,238 - And how long has it been there? 330 00:12:23,262 --> 00:12:24,431 - Glad you asked. 331 00:12:24,464 --> 00:12:25,934 Well, our working theory is 332 00:12:25,967 --> 00:12:27,607 that the person in question was rehearsing 333 00:12:27,638 --> 00:12:30,543 a one-man show of "The Cask of Amontillado" 334 00:12:30,577 --> 00:12:32,213 that, hmm, got a little out of hand. 335 00:12:32,246 --> 00:12:34,484 - What? No, that is not what... 336 00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:37,925 - Or it was someone annoying we needed to get rid of. 337 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,036 Seriously? 338 00:12:39,060 --> 00:12:40,864 - For the love of God, Cheryl. 339 00:12:40,897 --> 00:12:43,937 - Yes, right, for the love of God. 340 00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:45,941 - Look, in the spirit of openness, 341 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,145 we don't know how the body got in the wall. 342 00:12:48,178 --> 00:12:50,551 But you all signed a non-disclosure agreement 343 00:12:50,584 --> 00:12:52,220 and a declaration that you might see 344 00:12:52,253 --> 00:12:53,590 disturbing things at this job. 345 00:12:53,623 --> 00:12:56,028 So let's all get back to work, okay? 346 00:12:56,061 --> 00:13:00,303 - ♪ Who wants vegan protein mini muffins ♪ 347 00:13:00,336 --> 00:13:01,639 - Screw you. - Ugh. 348 00:13:01,672 --> 00:13:03,175 - Come on. 349 00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:05,455 Archer: Cyril, I need you to do 350 00:13:05,479 --> 00:13:06,457 a thorough background check 351 00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:08,419 on Interpol agent Zara Khan. 352 00:13:08,452 --> 00:13:09,889 I think she's a mole. 353 00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:10,967 Cyril: I'm kind of busy, Archer. 354 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:12,293 - Oh, I'm sorry. 355 00:13:12,326 --> 00:13:14,131 Well, in that case, do it anyway! 356 00:13:17,336 --> 00:13:19,074 Damn it, I said get the same one! 357 00:13:19,107 --> 00:13:21,980 Now no one gets it. 358 00:13:22,013 --> 00:13:24,451 So we're really following this obvious turncoat 359 00:13:24,484 --> 00:13:26,990 into a situation that will probably get us killed? 360 00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:29,194 - And we're really gonna sit here and listen 361 00:13:29,227 --> 00:13:30,631 to rhetorical questions? 362 00:13:30,664 --> 00:13:32,167 - It wasn't rhetorical. 363 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,202 - Or was it? 364 00:13:33,235 --> 00:13:34,538 - Yeah, who's to say? 365 00:13:34,572 --> 00:13:36,141 - Look, if you're so worked up about it, 366 00:13:36,174 --> 00:13:37,978 just run a background check on her. 367 00:13:38,011 --> 00:13:39,314 - Well, in fact, I did, 368 00:13:39,347 --> 00:13:41,318 and she has a perfect record of arrests 369 00:13:41,351 --> 00:13:44,458 on every case she's done, which is the perfect cover. 370 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,295 I say we kill her. 371 00:13:46,328 --> 00:13:47,598 Come on. Let's go. 372 00:13:49,434 --> 00:13:51,071 - Sorry, hate to question you, 373 00:13:51,104 --> 00:13:53,643 but should we maybe wait till it's closed? 374 00:13:53,676 --> 00:13:55,012 - It is. Private event. 375 00:13:55,045 --> 00:13:56,448 So more security. 376 00:13:56,481 --> 00:13:58,920 Just means more chances for us to make them look silly. 377 00:13:58,953 --> 00:14:01,024 - Gotta love that moxie. - I'm a little rusty. 378 00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,995 Moxie is French for "terrible decision," right? 379 00:14:03,028 --> 00:14:04,240 - Spoken like a man with moxie. 380 00:14:04,264 --> 00:14:05,634 - It's not called moxie in men. 381 00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:08,038 It's called just being a man. 382 00:14:08,071 --> 00:14:10,109 - Oh, so it's called "double standard." 383 00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:13,215 - Pff, no, you don't call it that. 384 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,676 Man, what a shit show. 385 00:14:26,709 --> 00:14:28,713 Who was this for, Gertrude Ederle? 386 00:14:28,746 --> 00:14:30,651 Because I am swimming in this. 387 00:14:30,684 --> 00:14:32,287 - I mean, mine fits great. 388 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,124 - Yours is okay. Mine is amazing. 389 00:14:34,157 --> 00:14:35,526 - I'm sorry, Archer. 390 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,731 I was just going by memory, and I guess in my mind... 391 00:14:37,764 --> 00:14:39,401 - Here it comes. - You have a gut. 392 00:14:39,434 --> 00:14:41,338 - You call this a gut? - Quiet! 393 00:14:41,371 --> 00:14:43,042 And no! Honestly, 394 00:14:43,075 --> 00:14:45,146 it's really impressive for someone your age. 395 00:14:45,179 --> 00:14:46,381 Ray, Pam, 396 00:14:46,414 --> 00:14:47,985 go to the rotunda and cause a diversion. 397 00:14:48,018 --> 00:14:49,054 A big one. 398 00:14:49,087 --> 00:14:51,626 - Uh, in front of everybody? 399 00:14:51,659 --> 00:14:53,529 - Archer, come with me, and stay close 400 00:14:53,563 --> 00:14:55,032 so I don't double-cross you. 401 00:14:55,065 --> 00:14:56,435 - Oh, sure, joke about the thing 402 00:14:56,468 --> 00:14:58,038 you're actually gonna do. 403 00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:00,176 That's convincing everybody. 404 00:15:00,209 --> 00:15:02,380 - Uh, looking a little green there, buddy. 405 00:15:02,413 --> 00:15:03,759 - I kind of have a thing about looking silly 406 00:15:03,783 --> 00:15:05,419 in front of fancy people. 407 00:15:05,452 --> 00:15:06,598 In high school, I was a waiter 408 00:15:06,622 --> 00:15:08,425 at the nicest restaurant in town, 409 00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:10,396 and it wasn't great. 410 00:15:15,774 --> 00:15:18,078 - Boy, you're never gonna amount to nothing, 411 00:15:18,111 --> 00:15:20,584 you stay a fool. 412 00:15:20,617 --> 00:15:23,188 - Thank you, Mr. Mayor. 413 00:15:23,221 --> 00:15:25,526 - That was the nicest restaurant? 414 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,332 - Well, it was a small, very shitty town. 415 00:15:28,365 --> 00:15:30,211 - Well, now you can purge yourself of your fear. 416 00:15:30,235 --> 00:15:31,739 Embrace the chaos. 417 00:15:31,772 --> 00:15:34,745 - Well, whatever this is, at least it won't be... 418 00:15:34,778 --> 00:15:38,152 the wedding reception of an archduke and a movie star! 419 00:15:38,185 --> 00:15:39,789 Pam, I can't do this. 420 00:15:39,822 --> 00:15:42,193 - Come on. Nobody knows who you are. 421 00:15:42,226 --> 00:15:43,597 - Excuse-moi, didn't you win 422 00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:46,101 the bronze medal in the giant slalom? 423 00:15:46,134 --> 00:15:48,740 Sorry, I'm just a giant skiing fan. 424 00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:50,443 My whole table is. 425 00:15:50,476 --> 00:15:53,482 Everyone, everyone, look who I just met. 426 00:15:53,515 --> 00:15:55,453 - Nope, I'm leaving. Ow! 427 00:15:55,486 --> 00:15:58,392 - How dare you speak to me that way! 428 00:15:58,425 --> 00:15:59,503 Come on, hit me. 429 00:15:59,527 --> 00:16:01,064 - I'm not ruining this wedding. 430 00:16:01,097 --> 00:16:02,568 - That's what you think. 431 00:16:02,601 --> 00:16:04,237 You knave! 432 00:16:04,270 --> 00:16:05,707 - They're rich, not medieval. 433 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,520 person over PA: Attention! Attention! 434 00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:12,788 All guards to the ballroom. 435 00:16:12,821 --> 00:16:14,157 - Okay. 436 00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,368 You can see both exits from here. 437 00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:16,461 Stay and keep watch. 438 00:16:16,494 --> 00:16:17,734 - Oh, so you can grab the jewel 439 00:16:17,764 --> 00:16:19,501 and slip out like the snake you are? 440 00:16:19,534 --> 00:16:20,837 - How would a snake grab a jewel? 441 00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:22,641 - With its tongue, obviously. 442 00:16:22,674 --> 00:16:24,377 They're prehensile. 443 00:16:24,410 --> 00:16:26,390 - Okay, I still have questions about how it crawls, 444 00:16:26,414 --> 00:16:28,118 but I'm gonna go grab this thing instead. 445 00:16:28,151 --> 00:16:29,454 - You know nothing about nature, 446 00:16:29,487 --> 00:16:30,757 and I'm coming with. 447 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,162 From here on out, I am attached to you. 448 00:16:33,195 --> 00:16:34,765 - Oh, what, like a male anglerfish? 449 00:16:34,798 --> 00:16:36,602 - Good reference, but I'm still mad. 450 00:16:36,635 --> 00:16:38,205 - Hey, who are you guys? 451 00:16:38,238 --> 00:16:40,309 - Oh, hey. I'm Officer Night. 452 00:16:40,342 --> 00:16:42,513 You might be wondering my first name. 453 00:16:42,547 --> 00:16:44,360 Officer? We are not officers. 454 00:16:44,384 --> 00:16:45,754 Ooh. 455 00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:48,560 - First name, Good. "Good Night." 456 00:16:48,593 --> 00:16:50,396 Oh, I don't think he gets it. 457 00:16:50,429 --> 00:16:52,266 Well, smash and grab time. 458 00:16:53,803 --> 00:16:55,373 That way! You lead! 459 00:16:55,406 --> 00:16:57,678 - There is no way I'm turning my back on you. 460 00:16:59,447 --> 00:17:00,817 Archer: I would have gone left. 461 00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:03,422 - Ugh! Stop backseat escaping! 462 00:17:03,455 --> 00:17:05,761 - I don't care. Get it done! 463 00:17:05,794 --> 00:17:07,463 - Yeah, I'm on it. Hold on a sec. 464 00:17:08,933 --> 00:17:11,471 Usually HR complaints don't involve a dead body, 465 00:17:11,504 --> 00:17:13,409 a town hall to discuss the dead body, 466 00:17:13,442 --> 00:17:16,181 and then a blatant lie involving Edgar Allan Poe. 467 00:17:16,214 --> 00:17:17,584 Cyril: Ouch! 468 00:17:17,617 --> 00:17:21,525 - I'm on the goddamn phone! 469 00:17:21,559 --> 00:17:24,197 Oh, sorry, your Archdukeness. 470 00:17:24,230 --> 00:17:25,466 - I wouldn't worry about it. 471 00:17:25,499 --> 00:17:27,303 It's not like violence against an archduke 472 00:17:27,336 --> 00:17:28,873 ever led to something bad. 473 00:17:28,906 --> 00:17:30,744 - I'll come up with something for you, Lana. 474 00:17:30,777 --> 00:17:32,447 - If I wanted to be a career babysitter, 475 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,184 I would have majored in sociology 476 00:17:34,217 --> 00:17:35,854 at a regional community college. 477 00:17:35,887 --> 00:17:38,593 Fucking fix it! 478 00:17:38,626 --> 00:17:40,496 - Here you are, Ms. Arch... 479 00:17:40,529 --> 00:17:42,233 - Oh, my God, I'm Malory. 480 00:17:42,266 --> 00:17:43,402 - Sorry. 481 00:17:43,435 --> 00:17:44,714 Cyril: You know, systems of power... 482 00:17:44,738 --> 00:17:46,843 Go print an invoice. 483 00:17:52,286 --> 00:17:53,255 - Huh? 484 00:17:53,288 --> 00:17:54,792 Jeezy-petes! 485 00:17:56,327 --> 00:17:58,365 Cyril: Archer, we weren't hired by Interpol. 486 00:17:58,398 --> 00:17:59,769 There's a zero instead of the "O." 487 00:17:59,802 --> 00:18:00,813 It's a fake! 488 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,745 - Interpol didn't hire us. 489 00:18:04,778 --> 00:18:06,716 You did. - It's not what you think. 490 00:18:06,749 --> 00:18:09,187 - What I think is that you give me that emerald, 491 00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:12,460 and I take you to the cops or mimes or whatever. 492 00:18:12,493 --> 00:18:14,598 - I'm afraid I can't do that. 493 00:18:19,842 --> 00:18:21,845 - I am not cleaning that up. 494 00:18:26,254 --> 00:18:27,891 - We're not so different, you and I. 495 00:18:27,924 --> 00:18:30,496 Wait, I know how that sounds, but seriously. 496 00:18:30,529 --> 00:18:31,966 - You're the mole at Interpol. 497 00:18:31,999 --> 00:18:34,572 "Intermole." 498 00:18:34,605 --> 00:18:36,241 - Damn it, it was right there. 499 00:18:36,274 --> 00:18:37,443 - You saw my record. 500 00:18:37,476 --> 00:18:38,756 People at Interpol have been trying 501 00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:40,984 to sabotage me because I make them look bad. 502 00:18:41,017 --> 00:18:43,388 So I hired you personally to catch the Vanguard. 503 00:18:43,421 --> 00:18:44,768 - Then why were you buying us all drinks 504 00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:46,796 and trying to find out personal stuff about us? 505 00:18:46,829 --> 00:18:48,933 - Because Interpol is Snore City, 506 00:18:48,966 --> 00:18:50,771 and you guys are fun. 507 00:18:50,804 --> 00:18:52,273 - We do kind of rule. 508 00:18:52,306 --> 00:18:53,952 - But honestly, the real reason I hired you 509 00:18:53,976 --> 00:18:55,847 is I just have to win. 510 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,485 And I knew you would come through. 511 00:19:12,313 --> 00:19:14,284 I've got a motorcycle stashed on the stairwell. 512 00:19:14,317 --> 00:19:16,622 - Can I drive down the stairs on the motorcycle? 513 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:17,934 - If you're okay with me sitting behind you. 514 00:19:17,958 --> 00:19:19,427 - I accept. 515 00:19:20,964 --> 00:19:23,302 Oh, sorry. Uh, reflex. 516 00:19:23,335 --> 00:19:25,272 - No, no, no, I get it. 517 00:19:25,305 --> 00:19:26,709 I mean, look at me. 518 00:19:28,445 --> 00:19:31,284 - Whoo-hoo-hoo, motorcycle! 519 00:19:31,317 --> 00:19:32,821 - Do you have to do that? 520 00:19:32,854 --> 00:19:36,762 - Let me answer your question with a whoo! 521 00:19:38,465 --> 00:19:39,969 You know, we make a great team. 522 00:19:40,002 --> 00:19:41,438 - Hard to disagree. 523 00:19:43,743 --> 00:19:46,515 I think if we take some time building up our trust level... 524 00:19:46,549 --> 00:19:48,452 - Then you're really gonna hate this. 525 00:19:48,485 --> 00:19:49,989 Decoy! - Ah! 526 00:19:55,499 --> 00:19:57,971 - Okay, now I hate being right. 527 00:19:58,004 --> 00:19:59,340 Lana: Excuse me. 528 00:19:59,373 --> 00:20:01,579 Can I have your attention, please? 529 00:20:01,612 --> 00:20:02,915 Well, first off, 530 00:20:02,948 --> 00:20:04,952 I want to apologize for yesterday. 531 00:20:04,985 --> 00:20:07,390 I really wish Cyril wouldn't have gone off script 532 00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:08,560 and lied to you. 533 00:20:08,593 --> 00:20:09,662 - God damn it. 534 00:20:09,695 --> 00:20:11,398 - But you should all know 535 00:20:11,431 --> 00:20:13,535 this is a spy organization. 536 00:20:13,569 --> 00:20:15,406 We do dangerous work, 537 00:20:15,439 --> 00:20:18,478 and that means you're gonna see some crazy-ass shit. 538 00:20:18,511 --> 00:20:21,484 So while I will try to be as transparent as possible, 539 00:20:21,517 --> 00:20:23,322 as transparent as possible 540 00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:25,025 is not gonna be very transparent. 541 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,029 - Well, that is not acceptable. 542 00:20:27,062 --> 00:20:28,498 - Hold up there, face-nuts. 543 00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:29,969 The boss is talking. 544 00:20:30,002 --> 00:20:31,706 - Is this part of your assistant duties? 545 00:20:31,739 --> 00:20:34,043 - The only part of the job I like. 546 00:20:34,076 --> 00:20:35,747 And let me tell you. 547 00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:37,760 This will absolutely not be the most messed-up thing 548 00:20:37,784 --> 00:20:39,020 you're gonna see here. 549 00:20:39,053 --> 00:20:40,757 Want to leave? Go ahead. 550 00:20:40,790 --> 00:20:41,759 Want to stay? 551 00:20:41,792 --> 00:20:43,362 You just got a 5% raise. 552 00:20:46,501 --> 00:20:47,971 - Any questions? 553 00:20:48,004 --> 00:20:49,984 Kurt: Hey, Jim, do you have those quarterly reports? 554 00:20:50,008 --> 00:20:52,513 - Wow, Pam sure does know her shit. 555 00:20:52,547 --> 00:20:54,618 Blame Cyril, tough love, raise. 556 00:20:54,651 --> 00:20:56,923 - So you still gonna do the glass walls? 557 00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:58,660 - Well, you know what they say. 558 00:20:58,693 --> 00:21:03,068 People who live in glass houses are fucking morons. 559 00:21:03,101 --> 00:21:06,809 - As soon as she pretended not to be into me, I knew. 560 00:21:06,842 --> 00:21:08,713 Traitor, god damn it. 561 00:21:08,746 --> 00:21:10,650 These apologies from Pam and Ray 562 00:21:10,683 --> 00:21:15,459 better be absolutely abject 360-degree tongue baths. 563 00:21:16,527 --> 00:21:17,998 - Hey, you made it. 564 00:21:18,031 --> 00:21:19,802 I knew you would. - What... how... 565 00:21:19,835 --> 00:21:21,639 What the... - It was the only move. 566 00:21:21,672 --> 00:21:23,876 No time to explain, but we do need 567 00:21:23,909 --> 00:21:25,412 to introduce you to someone. 568 00:21:25,445 --> 00:21:26,949 This is Pavle. 569 00:21:26,982 --> 00:21:30,089 - Yeah, he's apparently with some sort of group 570 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,393 called, like, I want to say the Vanguard. 571 00:21:32,426 --> 00:21:33,428 Did I get that right? 572 00:21:33,461 --> 00:21:34,898 - And he wants to talk to us 573 00:21:34,931 --> 00:21:36,569 about maybe joining up. 574 00:21:36,602 --> 00:21:40,409 And I think we, us thieves, should hear him out. 575 00:21:40,442 --> 00:21:41,846 - Oh, well, hello. 576 00:21:41,879 --> 00:21:43,816 Whoa! 577 00:21:43,849 --> 00:21:45,085 Ah! 578 00:21:48,793 --> 00:21:50,495 Hi. 579 00:22:11,504 --> 00:22:14,443 - Made in Georgia. 580 00:22:18,151 --> 00:22:21,023 Captioned by 3Play Media Enhanced by illuminate Hollywood