1
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,920
Jim, I'll need
eight battery-operated candles.
2
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,160
They're in my desk drawer.
3
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,120
- Will you just answer a simple question?
- If I hear one, of course.
4
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,200
- Uh, this way, please, Jim.
- What is happening?
5
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,800
Why is everything so weird?
6
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,440
This all started last week
when the power went out, didn't it?
7
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,000
Three questions, none of them simple.
8
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,120
But to answer
your last one, no.
9
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,440
This all started a very long time ago.
10
00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,560
But... also, yes.
11
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,200
So, why were we all dancing?
12
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,681
I thought it might make you realize
that Maggie loved you,
13
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,040
and then you'd fall in love with her.
14
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,680
It all looks so simple in Jane Austen.
15
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:53,560
Jane Austen?
16
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:57,160
Oh, yes, the brains behind
the 1810 Clerkenwell diamond robbery.
17
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,080
You're going to let us in,
whether you like it or not.
18
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:08,240
Not.
19
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,520
You are not welcome here.
20
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,920
Heaven. Doors opening.
21
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,160
- Right. Where do you keep your records?
- Records?
22
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,000
You're a scrivener, 37th class.
Records, where?
23
00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:23,560
- My office, but...
- Lead on.
24
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,960
But... No, I can't!
25
00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,040
You're a demon! I can't just...
26
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,360
Do you know how much trouble
I'll get into for this?
27
00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:31,720
It's fine.
28
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,120
You're forgetting about the bees.
29
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,560
- Bees?
- Angels are like bees.
30
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,200
Fiercely protective of their hive
if you're trying to get inside.
31
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,360
Once you're in... well, I mean...
32
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:45,360
is it even faintly possible that
an unauthorized demon might be just
33
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,160
wandering around in Heaven unescorted?
34
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:50,480
Mm, bees.
35
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,200
But you don't look like a bee.
36
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,360
You look like a murder hornet
37
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:56,960
or a snake or a...
38
00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,200
Bees. Right.
39
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:01,400
Your office. I'll follow you.
40
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,120
Go, go. Hide.
41
00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:18,880
You lot are ridiculous.
42
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,600
We are the legions of the damned.
We are invincible.
43
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:25,760
You might be invincible, but you're still
stuck out there, and we're in here.
44
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:26,960
You don't frighten me.
45
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:37,520
I had brothers.
You don't scare me by making faces.
46
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,280
- Just leave 'em alone, Maggie.
- No.
47
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,440
I'm not scared of them.
48
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,560
I've spent my life being scared of things.
49
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,520
And I'm done with being scared.
50
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,040
Please, Maggie.
51
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:49,840
Yes, please, Maggie.
52
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:55,040
Please don't embarrass yourself in front
of the woman you pathetically love.
53
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:59,440
She's not embarrassing herself.
She's... braver than anyone I know.
54
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,240
Two cowards.
55
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:05,160
You posture bravely because
you are in there and we are out here.
56
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,640
Leave us alone. Leave this shop alone.
57
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,480
Leave Mr. Fell alone.
58
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,520
You are nothing, Maggie.
59
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,320
Look at you. You run a shop nobody visits,
60
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,000
unable to pay the rent. Dull.
61
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,480
You're unloved and unlovable.
62
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,240
You're a nobody,
63
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,800
and you'll live,
and then you'll die, a nobody.
64
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,200
My God, you lot are pathetic.
65
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,440
You wanna come in here
and say that to my face?
66
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,000
Come on, quickly. Go!
67
00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,560
Maggie,
68
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,280
what just happened?
69
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,920
I... I think I might have just told them
they could come in.
70
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,000
Get back... Get back here now,
fast, please.
71
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,080
It's for your own good.
72
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,520
I am perfectly prepared
to take defensive action,
73
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,960
should it become necessary.
74
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,680
Stay back.
75
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,000
Hello?
76
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,600
Is there anybody there?
77
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:31,600
I have to tell you,
78
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,480
you can all leave now,
79
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,040
and nobody will be hurt.
80
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:51,520
You'll be hurt.
81
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,440
- Mm, nice office.
- It's a bit lonely.
82
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,280
That was why I was so pleased when
they said I finally had a job on Earth.
83
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,280
Don't you ever see anyone here?
84
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,760
Well, every few hundred years
someone comes and asks me for something.
85
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,680
- You're not really under arrest, are you?
- Not really, no.
86
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,240
I'm helping you, aren't I?
87
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:57,880
Yeah.
88
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,720
- I'm going to get into so much trouble.
- You think so?
89
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:07,480
Well then, let's make it worthwhile.
90
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,720
What have you got on Gabriel?
91
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,800
It's all confidential.
I can't show it to you.
92
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,080
I mean, I couldn't open it if I wanted to.
93
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,680
I don't have clearance.
94
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,200
You'd have to be a throne
or a dominion, or above.
95
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,680
- How did you do that?
- I haven't always been a demon,
96
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,440
and they never change their passwords.
97
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:55,240
Go on, you idiots. Get them!
98
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,080
They aren't gonna
keep walking into the circle forever.
99
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,760
Even demons aren't that stupid.
100
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,000
So, what's your plan?
101
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,360
Well, that was it.
I didn't have another bit.
102
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,720
Uh... this way, quickly.
103
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:30,880
Why do they keep blowing up?
104
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,800
Well, it's all a bit complicated.
The circle, it's a gateway,
105
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,120
but if you step into it
and you aren't prepared,
106
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,440
it can discorporate you completely.
107
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,480
Does what you say make sense in your head?
108
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,120
Stop where you are!
109
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,200
And so...
110
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,080
it ends.
111
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,160
Everything ends.
112
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,760
Time and the world
113
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:55,480
is over,
114
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,720
and we begin eternity...
115
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,880
forever and ever.
116
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,160
Amen.
117
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,760
- Amen.
- Amen.
118
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,000
Nah.
119
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:10,880
Nah?
120
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,760
Yep.
121
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:14,640
Nah.
122
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:19,040
Nah to the final victory
of Heaven on Earth?
123
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,120
Sorry, just not seeing it this time.
124
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,240
Pass.
125
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:27,640
And may I ask
why you're not seeing it?
126
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:29,480
Surely.
127
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,320
- Why?
- I told you you could ask.
128
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:36,120
However, I am the only
first-order archangel in the room,
129
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,200
or, you know, the universe,
130
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,880
so I'm not gonna answer so much.
131
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,600
But you feel free to knock yourself out
with all the asking.
132
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,000
Anyway, Armageddon the sequel,
133
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,520
that's a nah.
134
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,040
What's next on the agenda?
135
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,520
- The cleaning roster.
- Okay!
136
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:55,720
What have you got?
137
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,600
I think we've struck gold.
138
00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,640
Push!
139
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,040
- It's working!
- Well, yeah!
140
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,880
There's even more
fire extinguishers up here.
141
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,040
Why all the fire extinguishers?
142
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,080
Uh, well, there was
a fire here once, you see.
143
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,880
And, um... well, books can go up like...
144
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,240
- Well, anyway...
- Brilliant
145
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,760
Got any of that spray foam?
146
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:48,200
So, Gabriel refused point blank
to entertain another Armageddon?
147
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,840
Doesn't sound like him at all.
148
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:51,880
Any idea why not?
149
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,880
Not yet. They had a sort of trial.
150
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:58,040
It was a real trial.
It didn't take long, though.
151
00:10:58,800 --> 00:10:59,800
Hello, Crowley.
152
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,240
I didn't expect to ever see you again.
153
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:04,280
Do we know each other?
154
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:05,800
When you were an angel.
155
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,960
We worked together
on the Horsehead Nebula.
156
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,120
I meet a lot of people.
157
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:16,640
Muriel, you're the last person I'd expect
to see collaborating with the enemy.
158
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:17,760
- Oh.
- Um...
159
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,320
I suppose, from some points of view,
this could look bad,
160
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,600
- but I did arrest him.
- No, you didn't.
161
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,040
Well, don't let me interrupt you. Go on.
162
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,280
Show him the trial.
163
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,080
Shax, I charge you to leave this place,
164
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,440
with all your people,
165
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,360
and to jolly well hurry up about it,
166
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,920
or I'm going to have to take
167
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,320
severe measures.
168
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,280
Aziraphale, what are you?
169
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,880
Crowley's emotional support angel?
170
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,600
The softest touch.
The one who went native.
171
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,520
Do you need more
big human meals, Aziraphale?
172
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,640
Shall we send up the sushi?
173
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,920
Give us Gabriel.
174
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,880
Give him to us now.
175
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,200
- Sometimes people call me Gabriel.
- Shh.
176
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,320
And tell that moron
177
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,120
to stop interrupting.
178
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,096
Jim, go... go to your room.
You'll be safer there.
179
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,120
Okay. Good night.
Does anybody want any hot chocolate?
180
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,240
- No.
- Go.
181
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,520
Gabriel, Supreme Archangel,
182
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,800
you have refused to exercise
your celestial authority
183
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,680
and you are henceforth
removed from office.
184
00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,200
I see. You're casting me down to Hell.
185
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,200
Well, I accept my fate.
186
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,440
Sometimes an angel just has to say,
187
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,720
"Guys, enough."
188
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,120
- Even though...
- No speeches, Gabriel.
189
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,440
You are not going to Hell.
190
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:15,680
For one prince of Heaven
to be cast into the outer darkness
191
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,240
makes a good story.
192
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:18,920
For it to happen twice,
193
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:23,600
makes it look like there is
some kind of institutional problem.
194
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:24,800
Which there isn't.
195
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,440
Which, needless to say, there isn't.
196
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,160
You will, I am sure
you'll be glad to learn,
197
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,040
remain an angel.
198
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,040
Although, as a kindness,
199
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:38,080
your memory of your time as Gabriel
will be erased.
200
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,880
You will be demoted
201
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,200
to junior recording angel,
202
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,760
38th class.
203
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:49,240
Oh, that's pretty good,
actually. I'm 37th class.
204
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,360
I didn't know that there was one down.
205
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:54,120
I see. Well, all good things.
206
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,240
Uh, just one thing.
These clothes are tailored.
207
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:58,600
Can I keep wearing them?
208
00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:02,000
Appropriate raiment
will be provided for you, Gabriel.
209
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,840
- These clothes?
- Are not appropriate.
210
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,000
Got it. Well, I'll just need to take off
my clothes and clean out my desk, then.
211
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,360
- You have a desk?
- Yes, I do.
212
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,640
I'll just need a...
213
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,000
I'll be right back.
214
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,320
- Can we throw books at them?
- I'd rather you didn't.
215
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,120
Obviously no fiction, but encyclopedias?
216
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,000
- It's all online these days anyway.
- Oh, if you must.
217
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,320
Ah!
218
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,160
Ah!
219
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,880
{\an8}What? What's he...
220
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,080
Doors opening.
221
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,200
- He dropped it!
- Doors closing.
222
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:19,840
Going down.
223
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:28,560
What's keeping him?
224
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,160
I believe he's taking off his clothes
and cleaning out his desk.
225
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,600
Uriel, he doesn't have a desk.
226
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,920
I don't trust him.
Can we begin the memory wipe now?
227
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,320
What, without him here?
228
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,800
- Good idea.
- Right.
229
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,520
I can't... I can't
find his memory anywhere.
230
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,640
In fact, I can't find him in the building.
231
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,120
He's left Heaven.
232
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,400
- Should I sound an alert?
- Oh, don't be so wet.
233
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:02,080
No, you're all just
going to have to find him. That's all.
234
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:07,320
Stop lollygagging, you cowards.
Get back up those stairs.
235
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:11,016
Fire extinguishers have all been emptied,
and we're out of encyclopedias.
236
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,600
We can't... We can't stop them.
237
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,520
What do we do?
238
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,960
Desperate measures must be taken.
239
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,920
I haven't done this since the Great War.
240
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:38,160
It's something we're only
meant to do when we're actually
241
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,760
on a wartime... footing.
242
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,400
What did you just do?
243
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,200
I think...
244
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,560
I may have just started a war.
245
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,280
What just happened?
246
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,560
I think your friend
just declared war on Hell.
247
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,320
This could get very messy.
248
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,480
Ugh, right, come on!
Let's get back there.
249
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:45,760
You too.
250
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,000
Funny old world, isn't it?
251
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:04,440
Hello?
252
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,080
Anybody here?
253
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,240
You came back.
254
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,480
What did you do to them all?
255
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,080
I did the thing with the halo.
256
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,080
- You what?
- I did the thing with the halo.
257
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,000
You... You blew up your halo?
258
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,800
Ooh, Hell won't like that.
259
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,680
We are at war! Finally!
260
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,680
Nobody's at war.
261
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:45,920
You idiots sent an idiot to lead
a gang of idiots to attack a bookshop.
262
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,400
Those idiots there want
their archangel back so they can fire him.
263
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,080
Nice job, Shax.
264
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,400
Beautifully done.
265
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,320
Remind me to put in for your commendation.
266
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,760
- Sarcasm, yes?
- Yep.
267
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,400
I'm afraid so.
268
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:18,320
- If it is to be war...
- No, no, no, no, no war.
269
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,760
Aziraphale, let's sort this out.
Where's the cardboard box?
270
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,080
- What box?
- The one Gabriel arrived with.
271
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,560
Gabriel? He's here?
272
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:32,200
- Sometimes people call me Gabriel.
- Yeah, we did a thing... hiding miracle.
273
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,080
Apparently, if we do a miracle together,
it all works a bit too well.
274
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,560
- Careful. Could be a trap.
- It's a cardboard box.
275
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,800
It's not going to bite you.
276
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,680
Oh, there we go. I thought
that's what you were doing.
277
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,800
- What was I doing?
- You were writing a message.
278
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,240
Oh, probably to yourself,
on the bottom of the box.
279
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,720
"I am in the fly."
280
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,080
What fly?
281
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:04,720
Lord Beelzebub,
282
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,840
I believe flies are your department.
283
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:08,520
Mm.
284
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,880
There's only one fly here,
and it's familiar.
285
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,640
Come here. Come on.
286
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,400
Good boy.
287
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,440
No wonder
nobody could find you.
288
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,480
This is where you were
keeping all your memories.
289
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,240
All your... you.
290
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,800
Look at you.
291
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,400
You're perfect.
292
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:41,880
Here.
293
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:43,920
Take it.
294
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,800
Gently.
295
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,200
Now...
296
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,080
open it.
297
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:15,000
How I am supposed to get
ten million angels to stand down
298
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,200
from their war footing is...
299
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,000
It doesn't bear thinking about.
300
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:20,720
You should try to get ten million demons
301
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,200
to put down their weapons
and go back to work.
302
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,520
Well, at least we know whose fault it is!
303
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,440
You can't sit there,
I'm waiting for someone.
304
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,080
- You're waiting for me.
- I don't think so.
305
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:42,320
New face.
306
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,560
I had the old one for 6,000 years.
I just thought it was time for a change.
307
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,920
- I don't know who you are.
- Come on, it's me.
308
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,320
Beelzebub. Lord of the Flies.
309
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:53,680
Watch.
310
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,920
- There you go.
- Why did you wanna meet me here?
311
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,680
Well, if we're gonna have
background talks,
312
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,000
they can't be in either
of our home territories.
313
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,200
And what do we need to discuss?
314
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:09,960
Arma-bloody-geddon.
315
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,720
That was a complete
and utter pain in the ass.
316
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,920
- I know, but we are ready for round two.
- As are we.
317
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,600
Utterly ready. Armageddon, here we come.
318
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,960
Arma-bloody-geddon. Arma-bloody-geddon.
319
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,480
Ah.
320
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,440
- Well, you lost.
- So did you.
321
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,240
- No, we didn't.
- Well, you didn't win.
322
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:29,960
Tell me about it.
323
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,136
Everyone in Heaven is all like,
"Well, you're the commander-in-chief,
324
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,296
can't you just make the war
happen anyway?" Like, I make the rules.
325
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,240
That's exactly what my lot said.
326
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,320
Well,
327
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,800
it's good to know there's someone
who understands. Thank you.
328
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,560
It's a pity we'll never speak again.
329
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,360
I have a proposal to make.
330
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,960
Instead of Armageddon, what about...
331
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,040
no Armageddon?
332
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,040
An interesting proposal.
333
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:08,920
No Armageddon.
334
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:11,920
They won't like that, though.
335
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,120
Most of my demons live for Armageddon,
if you can call that living.
336
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,040
Well, my angels too.
But you can't always get what you...
337
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:20,240
live for.
338
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,600
Advantages to no Armageddon?
339
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,920
We keep the status quo,
static and, um, quo-ey.
340
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,240
- No one can ever know, of course.
- Of course.
341
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:34,840
A deal?
342
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:37,200
Mm.
343
00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:44,280
I like this song.
344
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,000
Song?
345
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,560
- The music that's playing now.
- What music?
346
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,080
The noise.
347
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:52,640
That's music?
348
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:55,080
I like it.
349
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,960
Contains information in a tuneful way.
350
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,120
Every day something is getting closer.
351
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,400
Then, um... Then I also like it.
352
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:12,800
♪ Love like yours
Will surely come my way ♪
353
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,160
♪ A-hey, a-hey, hey ♪
354
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:20,480
♪ Love like yours
Will surely come my way ♪
355
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:25,320
So...
356
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,480
agreement concluded.
357
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,200
No need to ever meet again, is there?
358
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,240
None whatsoever.
359
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:46,960
Let there be light.
360
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,480
I think the sculptor
really caught something.
361
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,080
The shape of the head.
362
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,120
Beautiful. Really moving.
363
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,720
It's a very good likeness.
364
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,360
Sometimes I come here
for hours and just...
365
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:02,440
look at it.
366
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,800
Right. Shall we go to the pub?
367
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:20,080
Two goblets of your intoxicating liquor,
please. And, uh...
368
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:21,920
- Packet of crisps.
- Very good, sir.
369
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,320
Which liquor would that be?
370
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:28,600
Whichever one it is you humans
usually orally consume.
371
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,760
Two pints of regular, then.
372
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:38,360
What's that?
373
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,080
A classic 1960s jukebox.
374
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:43,760
You don't see many of them these days.
375
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,080
You just put your money in
and tell it what you want to hear.
376
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:48,160
Oh...
377
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:49,920
You people.
378
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:51,760
Amazing.
379
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:57,560
Ha!
380
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,720
♪ Everyday it's a-gettin' closer ♪
381
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,240
♪ Goin' faster than a roller coaster ♪
382
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:09,600
♪ Love like yours
will surely come my way... ♪
383
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:11,520
Here you go.
384
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,240
- You don't actually have to consume.
- Oh.
385
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,560
- And the...
- Oh, packet of crisps? Good.
386
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:24,480
♪ ...yours will surely come my way ♪
387
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,160
Is that... Did you...
388
00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:29,960
- A small miracle.
- Oh.
389
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:33,200
That song will always be there
on that jukebox,
390
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,600
- to comfort the afflicted.
- Mmm.
391
00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:40,840
I should give you something.
392
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:46,880
Here. It's for you.
393
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,120
You never know when you'll need it.
394
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,320
It's a container, so...
395
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,760
it's bigger on the inside.
You can put things in it.
396
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,600
Bye-bye.
397
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,520
I don't actually know what to say.
398
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:16,520
Why not?
399
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,360
No one's ever given me anything before.
400
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,320
♪ ...seems a little longer ♪
401
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,800
♪ Every way, love's a little... ♪
402
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:45,600
Aziraphale.
403
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:51,520
Michael, Uriel.
404
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:54,360
- Don't tell me.
- I won't.
405
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,160
- It's Saraqael!
- Saraqael!
406
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,320
Yes, I knew that. Of course it is
407
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:04,960
Oh, eesh.
408
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:06,840
You guys.
409
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:10,760
You.
410
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,560
Thank you.
411
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,280
Silly, silly angel.
412
00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:19,360
Why?
413
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,760
I was coming to you, but...
414
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,040
I...
415
00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:27,440
forgot.
416
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,320
Well, I think Aziraphale probably
took much better care of you
417
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:33,720
than I could've done.
418
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:34,840
Beelzebub!
419
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,360
You traitor!
420
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,160
Collaborating with Heaven?
421
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,440
I didn't collaborate with Heaven
422
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,600
any more than
Gabriel collaborated with Hell.
423
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,960
I just found something that
mattered more to me than choosing sides.
424
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,160
That's really sweet.
425
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:01,560
- Enough to make you believe in true love.
- Mortals?
426
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,040
What are mortals doing here?
Someone turn them into pillars of salt.
427
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:06,720
- Saraqael.
- I'm on it.
428
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,120
That... That won't be necessary.
I'll see to this.
429
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,960
Maggie, Nina, you come with me.
430
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:13,720
You got this?
431
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,040
Oh, um, absolutely, yes.
432
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,520
Just don't, uh,
tell anybody about any of this.
433
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,640
Not that anyone would
ever believe a word of it.
434
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,600
Oh, God, I should've been open
half an hour ago.
435
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,560
How can you think about that
after all this?
436
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,800
People need coffee, I sell coffee,
it's my coffee shop.
437
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,056
- I should be open by now.
- Right, nice knowing you both.
438
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,080
Let's say goodbye forever
439
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,920
and pretend none of this
ever happened, yeah?
440
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,680
Oh. Some of us
have been working all night, you know.
441
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:49,640
Where did you come from?
442
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:54,640
I don't remember.
443
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,560
Good call.
Never tell them how it's done,
444
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,320
unless they pay you for it first.
Here, pick a card.
445
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,240
I'm going to my shop,
to sleep behind the counter.
446
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,000
Unless you'd like some help?
447
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,496
Could you nip down the mini mart
and pick me up some cream,
448
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,360
oat milk, soy milk, and almond milk?
449
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:16,800
Mm. I'm on it.
450
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:23,840
I can't hear you.
451
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:27,920
Can we have... Please, can we have a...
452
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,480
I've had quite enough of this.
453
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:37,760
You will speak one at a time.
454
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:46,080
I demand that you handover
both Gabriel and Beelzebub
455
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:49,440
as gifts for Satan, our master.
456
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:51,120
He won't want them.
457
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,440
Maybe as hors d'oeuvres.
458
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,000
And I demand you hand them over to us,
459
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,960
to face celestial punishment.
460
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,120
Obviously we would be
reserving the option
461
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,280
to send them both to Hell
as our punishment.
462
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,280
But we'd be the ones doing it.
463
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,040
Why don't we ask them
464
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:08,040
where they'd like to go?
465
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,600
Oh, this is ridiculous.
466
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:11,480
No, there are precedents.
467
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:13,280
Hell doing Heaven's punishing for you.
468
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,040
Job, that was one.
Lovely man, never met him.
469
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,120
Um, Gabriel,
470
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:19,000
Beelzebub,
471
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,480
what do you want?
472
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:25,600
I would like...
473
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,000
better clothes,
474
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,320
and I would like to be with Beelzebub.
475
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,200
Wherever Beelzebub is...
is my Heaven.
476
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:35,320
Mm-hmm.
477
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,320
And where you are,
my sweet, is forever my Hell.
478
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,920
You know, Alpha Centauri's nice.
479
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,160
Always wanted to go there.
480
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,640
Couple of decent planets.
No nightlife to speak of.
481
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:47,000
If you leave,
482
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,480
you can never come back.
483
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,400
- That would be the point.
- If you flee,
484
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,800
traitor,
485
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,360
Hell will send all its legions
to hunt you down.
486
00:31:56,440 --> 00:32:00,840
You know as well as I do
how badly understaffed Hell is right now.
487
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,200
Anyway, with me not there, Shax,
488
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:05,800
you could be the next Grand Duke of Hell.
489
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,600
Grand Duke of Hell.
490
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,880
Angels and Demons, they can't just...
491
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:16,000
♪ Everyday, it's a-getting closer ♪
492
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:20,560
♪ Going faster than a rollercoaster ♪
493
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,880
♪ Love like yours will ♪
494
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,760
♪ Surely come my way ♪
495
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,680
♪ A-hey, a-hey-hey ♪
496
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,440
Ah, if you're going back to Hell,
can I get my flat back?
497
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,800
- Who the hell cares?
- I care!
498
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,520
I'm bored of living in my car.
499
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,240
And I don't think
my car's much of a fan of it either.
500
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,160
I believe the Dark Council
501
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,720
will have something to say
about all this nonsense.
502
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,960
Well, I'm sure they'll be thrilled
that the mighty Shax
503
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:51,000
has uncovered a traitor in our midst.
504
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:00,840
Let's find out, shall we?
505
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,840
Order accurately and fast.
I haven't slept in 30 hours
506
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,400
and I will not hesitate to mock you
if I don't like your order.
507
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:14,800
Yes, I quite understand.
508
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:16,080
I'd like a...
509
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,400
large oat milk latte
510
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,680
with a dash of almond syrup, please.
511
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:24,680
Coming up.
512
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,760
Do people ever ask for death?
513
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:28,920
What?
514
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:33,640
Well, the name of your establishment,
"Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death."
515
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,760
I assume they always ask for coffee.
516
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:37,920
They don't ever ask for death, no.
517
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,880
No, I don't suppose they do.
518
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:42,480
So predictable.
519
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,960
I am authorized to remove
the name of anyone
520
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,400
who helped Gabriel from the Book of Life.
521
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,360
You will never have existed, Aziraphale.
522
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:53,896
In the absence of Gabriel,
523
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,320
- I am the Supreme Archangel.
- Duty officer.
524
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,120
- And I...
- Excuse me, I'm sorry,
525
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:00,160
I must interrupt you there.
526
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:01,880
Um...
527
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:04,520
Oh, and I've brought over a coffee.
528
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,960
I don't believe I asked
for any interruptions.
529
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:10,560
I couldn't help it.
You're talking utter balderdash.
530
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,160
I mean, complete piffle!
531
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,800
You don't have the authority
to do anything like that.
532
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:17,840
Um, and who are you?
533
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,160
For Heaven's sake.
534
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:24,080
And I mean that most literally.
You don't know me?
535
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:28,640
Well, uh, what about you, Demon?
Do you know me?
536
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,280
- Get him out of here!
- Really?
537
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:32,760
Oh, I know you.
538
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:36,160
Last time I saw you,
you were a big, floating giant head, man.
539
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:37,960
Oh!
540
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:39,880
The Metatron.
541
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:41,136
Correct!
542
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,600
This calls much less attention, though.
543
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:48,040
Right, you, you, you, back to Heaven,
spit, spot, not another word.
544
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,920
Ah-ah-ah! Not you.
545
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:55,160
Um... Your... Your Reverence, your...
546
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,080
- You Grace, your...
- Oh, come on, spit it out.
547
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,040
Have we done anything wrong?
548
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,880
Well, that remains
to be seen, does it not?
549
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:08,480
Well, go on, off you go, the lot of you!
550
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,440
Except the dim one.
551
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:13,440
I may need you.
552
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:19,680
Right.
553
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,680
It's just you and me, Aziraphale, eh?
554
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,640
I think we need to have
a bit of a chinwag,
555
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:29,800
don't you?
556
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,120
I don't believe there's
anything left to be said.
557
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:33,960
I've made my position quite clear.
558
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,120
Yeah, well, I brought you
a coffee from the shop.
559
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,960
It's an oat milk latte
560
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,880
with a hefty jigger of almond syrup.
561
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:45,880
- You brought me a coffee?
- Are you going to take it?
562
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,480
- Shall I?
- Drink it?
563
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:53,320
Of course.
564
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,040
I've ingested things in my time, you know.
565
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,760
It's... It's very nice.
566
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:02,840
Yes, I should jolly well hope so.
567
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:05,920
Well, we have things to talk about.
568
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,120
Shall we take a little stroll?
569
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:09,160
Um...
570
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:12,080
Mm. Go on. They can't get any weirder.
571
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,040
Oh.
572
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:34,640
You should leave now too.
573
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,040
The Metatron told me to wait.
574
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:40,800
He said he might need me.
575
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,160
Me! He might need me.
576
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:45,640
Marvelous. Have a gold star.
577
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,600
- They'll be back soon.
- Yes.
578
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:52,160
When Aziraphale does come back,
I think we need a little us time.
579
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,480
After all this, I think we are going for
580
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:01,840
an extremely alcoholic breakfast
at the Ritz.
581
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,040
Brilliant idea!
582
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,160
Breakfast. Us time.
583
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,160
Just us. Not you.
584
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,320
Oh. Oh, right, yes.
585
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,800
I can, um, explore the bookshop.
586
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:19,120
Um... you need to go.
587
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:23,080
Can I... Can I take a book with me?
588
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,320
I was looking at one earlier.
589
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,480
They're like people, only portable.
590
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:31,640
Go for it. Here, you'll like this one.
591
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,760
- No, it won't do any good.
- It doesn't matter.
592
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,680
We have to tell them.
593
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,040
Fine.
594
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,560
Anyone wants anything,
tell 'em we'll be back in five minutes.
595
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,280
Okay.
596
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:19,160
Tidied up.
597
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,800
Where's the other one?
We need to talk to you.
598
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:25,040
- He's out. Not a good time.
- I wasn't asking.
599
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:26,480
There are things you need to hear.
600
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:30,600
You and your... partner have been
messing about in our lives.
601
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,400
We're not a game. We're real people.
602
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,160
You can't just
pair us up for your amusement.
603
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,400
You were crying
and Nina needed rescuing and...
604
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,000
My relationship just ended.
605
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,000
I am not ready to start another one yet.
606
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,320
I'd just be a rebound mess.
607
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:46,960
I can't start seeing Maggie.
608
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,680
When I'm ready, I hope she'll be there,
but there isn't any guarantee.
609
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:53,760
- There is.
- You're not helping, angel.
610
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:55,840
Look at you two.
611
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,480
You're the hard bitten one,
the can't trust anyone ever again,
612
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,640
and Mr. Wherever He Is is the soft one
who still believes in magic
613
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:04,600
and people being
basically good and all that.
614
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,400
Why are you telling me all this?
I don't understand.
615
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:09,160
That's why she's telling you.
616
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:10,960
Because you don't understand.
617
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:15,360
Because you and Mr. Fell
don't ever talk to each other.
618
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:17,000
We talk all the time!
619
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,640
We've been talking for millions of years.
620
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:22,600
Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla.
621
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:24,560
I say something brilliant,
he says something
622
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,400
unintentionally funny back. It's great.
623
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:28,960
You never say what you're really thinking.
624
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:31,280
That was all we needed.
625
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,840
It's what you two need as well.
626
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:39,160
Well, you don't have to
answer immediately.
627
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,640
Take all the time you need.
628
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,640
I... I don't know what to say.
629
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,640
Well then, go and tell
your friend the good news.
630
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,480
- We're just going.
- I'm sure you two have a lot to say.
631
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,160
What's that you're holding, Muriel?
632
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:29,520
A book.
633
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:31,280
It's called a book.
634
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,880
I'm "reading" a book.
635
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:35,360
Excellent!
636
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,480
What a perfectly splendid thing to do!
637
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,120
Is it?
638
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:44,440
Oh. Yes. Jolly good.
639
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:50,880
Look, I suppose, um...
640
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:52,120
I've got something to say.
641
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,160
I know we ought to be talking about...
642
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,016
It's probably best
if I start off doing all the talking,
643
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,096
you do all the listening,
'cause if I don't start talking now,
644
00:40:58,120 --> 00:40:59,800
I won't ever start talking, right?
645
00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:01,816
- Yes, so...
- What's that lovely human expression?
646
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,320
Oh, yes! Hold that thought.
647
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:05,680
You see, I...
648
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,560
I have some incredibly
good news to give you.
649
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,920
- Really?
- I... um...
650
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,640
So, um...
651
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,600
the Metatron, you know,
I don't think he's as bad a fellow...
652
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,960
Well, I think I might've misjudged him.
653
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:24,920
You see, I... Well, he said, um,
654
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,800
that Gabriel
655
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,080
obviously hadn't worked out...
656
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,640
as Supreme Archangel
and Commander of the Heavenly Host,
657
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,280
and he asked who I thought
should take over in Heaven
658
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:36,840
now that Gabriel was gone.
659
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:37,920
And I said...
660
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:42,200
- Michael?
- Oh, don't be silly! No, no, no, no, no.
661
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:46,200
There's only one candidate
who makes even the slightest bit of sense.
662
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,280
And that's you.
663
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,840
And I said, "Me?"
664
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:53,440
And he said...
665
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,360
Well, yes. You're a leader,
666
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,600
you're honest, you don't just tell people
what they want to hear.
667
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:02,960
It's why Gabriel came to you
in the first place, I imagine.
668
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:07,400
There are huge plans afoot,
enormous projects,
669
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,320
and I will need you to run them.
670
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,160
You are just the angel for the job.
671
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,600
I... I don't want to go back to Heaven.
672
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,080
Where would I get my coffee?
673
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:24,040
You know, as Supreme Archangel,
674
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:27,480
you would be able to decide
who to work with.
675
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:31,160
Yeah, I've been looking back
over a number of your...
676
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,400
previous exploits,
and I see that in quite a few of them
677
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,400
you formed a de facto partnership
678
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:39,760
with the demon Crowley.
679
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,960
Now, if you wanted to
work with him again, that...
680
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:45,680
might be considered irregular,
681
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,880
but it would certainly be
within your jurisdiction
682
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,800
to restore your friend, Crowley,
683
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:56,600
to full angelic status.
684
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:57,760
He said what?
685
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,000
He said I could appoint you
686
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,000
to be an angel.
687
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:06,320
You could come back to Heaven and...
688
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:08,480
and everything,
689
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:10,600
like the old times.
690
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,600
Only, even nicer.
691
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:15,840
Right.
692
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,520
And you told him
just where he could stick it, then?
693
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:23,680
Not at all.
694
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:27,040
Oh, we're better than that,
you're better than that, Angel!
695
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,160
You don't need them.
I certainly don't need them!
696
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,600
Look, they asked me
back to Hell, I said no.
697
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:33,920
I'm not gonna be joining their team.
Neither should you.
698
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:35,800
But... Well, obviously
you said no to Hell,
699
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:36,920
you're the bad guys.
700
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:39,000
But Heaven...
701
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:43,560
Well, it's the side of truth, of light,
702
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:45,800
of good.
703
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,360
When Heaven ends life here on Earth,
704
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,800
it'll be just as dead as if Hell ended it.
705
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:57,200
Tell me you said no.
706
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,520
Tell me you said no.
707
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:07,880
If I'm in charge...
708
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:10,840
I can make a difference.
709
00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:13,400
Oh.
710
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,960
Oh, God. Right, okay.
711
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:17,816
Right. I didn't get a chance to say
what I was going to say,
712
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:19,000
I think I'd better say it now
713
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,400
Right, okay, yes, so...
714
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:27,360
We've known each other a long time.
715
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,680
We've been on this planet for a long time.
I mean, you and me.
716
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,240
I could always rely on you.
717
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,680
You could always rely on me.
We're a team, a group.
718
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:39,560
Group of the two of us.
719
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:43,800
And we've spent our existence
pretending that we aren't.
720
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:49,960
I mean, the last few years, not really.
721
00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:57,320
And I would like to spend...
722
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,520
I mean, if Gabriel and Beelzebub
723
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:05,040
can do it, go off together, then we can.
724
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,320
Just the two of us. We don't need Heaven,
725
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,560
we don't need Hell, they're toxic.
726
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,640
We need to get away
from them, just be an us.
727
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,800
- You and me, what do you say?
- Come with me...
728
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,360
to Heaven. I'll run it,
you can be my second in command.
729
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:23,880
We can make a difference.
730
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:26,920
You can't leave this bookshop.
731
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,120
Oh, Crowley.
732
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:33,680
Nothing lasts forever.
733
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:38,040
No.
734
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:42,520
No, I don't suppose it does.
735
00:45:46,240 --> 00:45:47,240
Good luck.
736
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:50,400
Good luck? Crowley!
737
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:51,840
Crowley, come back,
738
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:53,640
to Heaven!
739
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:56,400
Work with me!
740
00:45:58,360 --> 00:45:59,560
We can be together!
741
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:01,160
Angels...
742
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:03,680
doing good!
743
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,200
I... I need you!
744
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:15,360
I don't think you understand
what I'm offering you.
745
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:16,680
I understand.
746
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,080
I think I understand
a whole lot better than you do.
747
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:24,080
Well...
748
00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:27,040
then there's nothing more to say.
749
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,040
Listen.
750
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:32,960
Do you hear that?
751
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:36,360
I don't hear anything.
752
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:38,840
That's the point.
753
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:41,440
No nightingales.
754
00:46:45,240 --> 00:46:46,440
You idiot.
755
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:49,200
We could have been... us.
756
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:14,680
I...
757
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:20,360
I forgive you.
758
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:26,520
Don't bother.
759
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:48,200
How did he take it?
760
00:47:50,240 --> 00:47:52,320
Um, not well.
761
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,360
Ah, well, always did want
to go his own way.
762
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:59,080
Always asking damn
fool questions, too.
763
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,240
Right, ready to start?
764
00:48:03,240 --> 00:48:04,240
I...
765
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:06,840
But, um...
766
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:09,600
my bookshop.
767
00:48:10,240 --> 00:48:12,480
Yes, well, for now
768
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:14,960
I've entrusted it to Muriel,
769
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:16,960
so it should be in good hands.
770
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:19,760
But...
771
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:22,840
Anything you need to take with you?
772
00:48:26,720 --> 00:48:27,720
No.
773
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:29,800
Nothing I can think of.
774
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:31,960
Ah.
775
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:37,320
I think I...
776
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,400
Nothing at all.
777
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:57,000
Well,
I can't think of a better angel
778
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:58,800
to wrap things up,
779
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:00,800
and to set into motion
780
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,600
the next step in the great plan.
781
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:05,840
Um, yes, you mentioned that.
782
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:07,440
Can I know what it is?
783
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:11,000
Well, it's something we need
an angel of your talents to direct.
784
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:14,960
An angel who is familiar with
how they do things on Earth.
785
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:17,720
- Ah.
- We call it the Second Coming.
786
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,880
Doors closing. Going up.
787
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:21,080
♪ A nightingale sang ♪
788
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:25,720
♪ In Berkeley Square ♪