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[dramatic music]
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[boat siren]
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Hello, viewers. You join us
on a car ferry on the Baltic Sea,
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just off the coast of Poland.
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The reason we're here is because
we're about to embark on a road trip
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that no one's ever thought of doing.
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The reason we're doing a road trip no one
has ever thought of doing before is...
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in these times,
it's very difficult to do a road trip
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that someone has thought of doing before.
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Yeah, if you think about all the places
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we've been to in recent years,
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places that were stable
when we were there,
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that aren't anymore.
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Mozambique.
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Syria. Iraq. Burma.
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Ukraine. Russia.
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We couldn't go back to any of them.
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Or, for different reasons, Argentina.
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[James] No.
Or Turkey.
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- Why can't we go to Turkey?
- We're banned.
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- Are we?
- Yes.
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But it's not just the places
where we've been before,
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that there is a problem.
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No, absolutely right.
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For this show, we thought we'd drive
across the Sahara.
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We can't - too much terrorism.
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Then we said: "Let's follow
in the footsteps of Lawrence of Arabia
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and go across the Sinai."
We can't.
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Too much terrorism.
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We wanted to go from Bangladesh
to Mount Everest.
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Can't.
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Why couldn't we do that?
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- You have to go through India.
- Is that a problem?
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- I'm banned from India.
- Yes, he is. He is.
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And anyway, it's because of all of that,
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that we find ourselves here,
on a ferry, in the Baltic Sea.
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Yes, because we are about to undertake
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a 1,400-mile drive
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from - I've got the map here actually,
I'll fish this one out -
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from Gdańsk which is
right up here on the Baltic, there,
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and then we go all the way down here,
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to Bled, in Slovenia.
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Nobody's done that ever,
Gdańsk to Bled.
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Having decided to do a road trip
nobody's ever done before,
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Mr Wilman chimed in
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and said: "OK, but you've got to do it
in cars that nobody
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has ever used to do a road trip before."
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And on that front,
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- I'm the winner.
- You're so not.
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[powerful music]
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[Richard] I was first
to disembark from the ferry.
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In this.
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[jazz music]
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A pickup truck.
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With a folding roof.
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Yeah, I know.
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A convertible pick-up truck sounds
like a bulletproof tea towel.
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Why would you put
those two things together?
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But that's what this game is about.
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Unique!
Nobody's ever done this.
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[dramatic music]
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[Richard] At this point,
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Cruella de Vil arrived.
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[grandiloquent music]
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What...
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This is the most inappropriate
road trip car ever made.
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I give you the Mitsuoka Le-Seyde.
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[soft music]
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It's the most
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- inappropriate thing ever made.
- No, you say that,
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it's a work of genius.
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Because what Mr Mitsuoka did
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was he took the engine
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from a 1990s Nissan Silvia,
an ordinary 2-Door Japanese saloon car
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and the gearbox
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and the interior
and all the electrics,
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kept them as they were
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and then fitted this flamboyant body.
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What Mr Mitsuoka did, was he took
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acid and this resulted.
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- Mate, for one thing...
- Yeah?
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- Wheels.
- Ah, yes.
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[Richard] The ones at the back are hiding
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and you're steering the car
in front of you.
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- Yes.
- Look at it.
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That is a mechanical change, I admit.
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[Jeremy] These wheels are 3 feet in front
of where they should be.
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There are other things.
Look at the horns.
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[Jeremy] Check them out.
Want to hear them?
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- [Richard] Do they work?
- [Jeremy] Oh, yes.
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- I don't think I do.
- Ready?
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They look like something
on top of a train in America.
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- Ready?
- Yes.
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[quiet horn]
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That's it?
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[quiet horn]
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How many of these has he made?
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- Several hundred.
- Too many.
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I think he made about 500 of them.
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This was supposed
to look like a Mercedes SSK.
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And yet it really doesn't.
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- This looks more like a Mercedes SSK.
- I disagree with you.
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That ship looks more like a Mercedes SSK.
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- This, look... There was a tremendous...
- [Richard] Wrong.
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- [Jeremy] Can we move on to your car.
- [Richard] Utter brilliance, this.
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- An SSR, I know what it is.
- Yes, it is.
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I've never driven one, to be honest.
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- I don't think anybody has.
- No, nobody did.
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It was a convertible 2-seater
pickup truck. Electric roof.
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- The roof goes...
- In there.
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So it's not really a very good
pickup truck.
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It's not very good as a pickup truck,
but it's very bad as a sportscar.
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- Heavy?
- Yes, about 2 tons.
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- It's...
- Yeah!
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...absolutely hideous, isn't it?
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No worries, I love it.
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[Richard] We then speculated
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on what James might be using.
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- He hates being called slow guy.
- I know.
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I think he's going to be in something
a bit snappy.
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Something like...
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a Lamborghini LP550 Balboni special,
2-wheel drive,
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but fully race prepped.
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Exactly.
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[Jeremy] It then turned out
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that we were absolutely wrong.
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[Hawaiian music]
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[Jeremy] I have no clue what that is.
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- [Richard] How far away is he?
- [Jeremy] That's a good question.
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[Jeremy] What is it?
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[Jeremy] Genuinely, I don't know
what that is.
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[Richard] I've no idea.
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[Richard] Have you just come
from the circus?
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What is it, James?
It says Crosley on it.
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Sorry, but it's a very precious car
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and it's raining.
I've got to put the roof up
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but it goes up like an MX5,
it takes a couple of seconds.
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You can do it on the move.
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It's a 1947 Crosley CC convertible.
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Like me to tell you about the history
of the car? It's fascinating.
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I've a feeling you're going to.
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In the 1930s,
there was a man in America
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- called Powel Crosley Junior.
- [Jeremy] Mm-hmm.
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He made his fortune
out of domestic appliances.
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He was the first person to build a fridge
with shelves in the door.
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Something we all take for granted now.
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He looked around and saw
that everyone was driving
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massive cars and he thought
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it was ridiculous, so he decided
to use some of his fortune
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to make small cars.
He famously said:
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"If you're crossing a river,
you don't need a battleship."
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He decided he'd sell his cars
in his shops
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alongside his domestic appliances.
That's why
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this car
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is only 4 feet wide.
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It has to go through the door of a shop.
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Good thinking on the part of Mr Crosley.
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- He was a genius.
- However,
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I have produced
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larger and more attractive bogeys
than this.
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What is the motor?
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It's a 4-cylinder 724cc engine,
developing...
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twenty-six and a half horsepower.
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- Hold on, how old's this?
- 1947.
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It's 70-something years old,
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- we've got to assume, 12...
- 14.
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- 14.
- Max.
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By now, a lot of those horses
will have died.
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Did you hear the words
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1,400-mile road trip?
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Yeah.
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[Jeremy] If you're lucky,
you've got 14hp.
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What did you pay?
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There's a bit of a story about that.
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It was on a well-known
car auction website
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and I looked at it.
It finished that evening
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and bidding was at 400 pounds,
so I bid 450 pounds,
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then I went off and got some wine,
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and came back later
and it went up a bit
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- and it was...
- [Richard] What did you pay?
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- 11,000 pounds.
- [Richard laughs]
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[Jeremy]11,000 pounds for that?
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- I bought it when I was drunk.
- You...
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- [laughter]
- I'll grant you that.
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- [Richard] Fair point.
- [Jeremy] So, hold on,
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I got my entire Mitsuoka Le-Seyde
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for only 11,500.
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- [James sniggers]
- That is a proper car.
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[Richard] Who pays 11,500 grand
for an old Nissan
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- in a bad frock?
- How much was this?
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Yes, absolutely. Exactly my point.
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[Jeremy] How much?
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[quietly] It was 18,500 pounds.
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What?
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I've always wanted one.
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- It's a convertible pickup truck.
- I know.
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It's like a speed hump on a runway.
It's completely useless.
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- [Richard] That's...
- [Jeremy] Come on, let's get going.
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Ooh!
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[suspenseful music]
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You don't suppose...
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- [Richard] I do suppose, yes.
- [James] Mr Wilman
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- is being funny.
- I've got to be honest,
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that's more inappropriate
than any of our cars.
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That's designed to do
a quarter of a mile.
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[James] That's a designer hot rod,
isn't it?
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- [Richard] Look what it says.
- [Jeremy] Look.
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That...
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That is doom, isn't it?
That is the end.
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Would you want to drive a car that says
"Titties 'n' beer"
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- on the side?
- [James] I really wouldn't.
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[upbeat music]
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[Jeremy] Now praying to God
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that our own cars wouldn't let us down,
we headed
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for the port exit and the start
of our mammoth journey.
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Right. A 1,400-mile journey beginning now
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from Gdańsk to Bled.
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[crash]
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[James] I've had a crash.
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[Jeremy] We've only done 20 feet.
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[he laughs]
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When we were in Scandinavia,
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you did at least a day before you had
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- an accident.
- [James] Hang on.
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[Richard] Is this a bit of your car?
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No, that's not from the car.
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[man speaks in Polish]
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- What is this?
- You've broken his barrier.
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- You smashed his barrier.
- You've broken his barrier.
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[man speaks in Polish]
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- [Jeremy] "Polizei"?
- [Richard] Call the police?
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[Jeremy] Naturally, we thought it best
to scarper before the 5-0 arrived.
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- [James] It's hot.
- [Jeremy] But before we could do that,
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James insisted on starting
his windscreen wipers.
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Are you ready?
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[Jeremy laughs]
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What about that one?
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[laughter]
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[James] It's like a face
covered with a snare drum.
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[upbeat music]
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[Jeremy] With James now able to see
where he was going,
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we left the second biggest Baltic port
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and headed for Gdańsk itself,
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famous throughout the world
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as the birthplace
of Lech Walesa's Solidarity movement,
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a movement that helped bring down
communism
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and end the Cold War.
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Here, events happened which reverberated
throughout the communist world
249
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:03,560
and particularly
250
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:04,880
in Eastern Europe.
251
00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,280
[Jeremy] Having seen the news footage
from that period,
252
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:12,720
we assumed the city centre
would be all in black and white.
253
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,800
And a bit like Hull.
254
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,480
But by the time we got there,
the sun had come out
255
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,320
and it wasn't like that at all.
256
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,120
[soft music]
257
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,600
That is amazing.
258
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,640
That is a very pretty town.
259
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,160
[kids cheering]
260
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,160
[Jeremy] Morning, everybody.
Look at this.
261
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:52,640
If I'd done this in a Nissan Silvia,
nobody would be paying any attention.
262
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,760
But because it's got bits
of Lliberace's bathroom
263
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,600
stuck on it,
everyone's taking its picture
264
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,280
and is very happy.
265
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,000
[Richard] People are smiling,
266
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,920
they're looking.
267
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,720
There is no doubt we are bringing joy.
268
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,800
You know when the fairground
comes to your town,
269
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,240
you don't moan, do you?
All your bikes get stolen,
270
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,400
but other than that it's good news.
It's bright, it's fun.
271
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:17,440
[Richard] Having helped
272
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,680
our colleague through
an extremely narrow gap...
273
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,000
[Richard] I reckon you're OK.
You're alright. To me.
274
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,080
[Richard] You're alright.
Don't get carried away.
275
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,840
[James] Very funny. Keep it up.
276
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,600
Go on. You're going to do it.
277
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,000
He did it! Well done!
278
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,680
[Richard] We headed out of town...
279
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:38,240
and on to the motorway.
280
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,000
[upbeat music]
281
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,600
[engine roaring]
282
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:52,080
That is the determined sound
of a Nissan 4 Pot.
283
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:58,760
[Jeremy] And this was
the even more determined sound
284
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,000
of the 75-year-old Crosley.
285
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,920
[high-pitched revving]
286
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,480
Holy shit, that's terrible.
287
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,480
[Richard] James May, are you flat out?
288
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:17,360
[James] Yes. 38 mph.
289
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,280
Oh!
290
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,120
Oh my God!
291
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,800
Errrr...
292
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,160
39...
293
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,360
Errrr...
294
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:31,320
39.
295
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,600
Oh, God, massive lorry up my chuff.
296
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,120
- No!
- [lorry honks]
297
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:40,640
[James] Argh!
298
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,360
Holy shit!
299
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:44,800
[Jeremy] God, strewth,
300
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,240
that nearly rolled over.
301
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,600
[Jeremy] Seeing that our colleague
was clearly in peril,
302
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,160
we decided to leave him behind.
303
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,000
[Jeremy] Bye, James.
304
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,760
["The Final Countdown" by Europe playing]
305
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,760
Right, 1,400 miles to go,
across 4 countries.
306
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,800
[music continues]
307
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,600
[Jeremy] We're going to be
behind what used to be
308
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:19,640
the Iron Curtain...
309
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:28,160
and what might still be the Iron Curtain
by the time we finish.
310
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,120
[music continues]
311
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:38,960
[Jeremy] Our first stop-off was at a
racetrack a couple of hundred miles away
312
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,400
near the city of Poznan,
313
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,520
which meant we had plenty of time
314
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,120
to discuss our cars.
315
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,400
Jeremy, a question whilst we cruise.
316
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:52,400
[Jeremy] Mm-hmm?
317
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,760
[Richard] That thing's supposed to mimic
the Mercedes SSK, yeah?
318
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:57,400
[Jeremy] Yeah.
319
00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,880
[Richard] Wasn't a Mr A. Hitler
a fan of a Mercedes SSK?
320
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:06,320
No, because the SSK was from the early
30s when Hitler was a corporal
321
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,960
and corporals couldn't have afforded
an SSK.
322
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:12,200
[Richard] It doesn't mean
he wasn't a fan of it.
323
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:16,880
So you're driving a plastic,
unconvincing replica
324
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,520
of a car Hitler loved.
325
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:22,160
No.
326
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:23,760
I'm just not.
327
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,760
[Jeremy] Can you imagine
what it's like in the Crosley?
328
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,680
Do you know,
I don't think I actually can.
329
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,680
[lorry hoots]
330
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,400
Brace for slipstream.
331
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,880
- [lorry hoots]
- [James] Arghh!
332
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,360
This is madness.
333
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:49,600
724cc.
Where did he come up with that idea?
334
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,880
What was wrong with - I don't know -
1 litre?
335
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,960
[James] Oh Jeez!
336
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,640
[upbeat music]
337
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:05,080
[Jeremy] Many miles ahead,
we'd left the motorway
338
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:10,080
and were driving through
what the tour guides say
339
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,440
is Poland's second biggest wood.
340
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,280
[Jeremy] Think about it, Hammond,
in one day,
341
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,680
we've seen
342
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:22,200
Gdańsk, the second busiest port
in the Baltic and now
343
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,640
we're in Poland's second biggest wood.
344
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,080
[Richard] I know. It's amazing.
I love second biggest or best.
345
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,400
Because first is easy,
just make it bigger or better,
346
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:32,920
but second,
347
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,000
you can't be bigger than first,
you've got to be better than third.
348
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:35,960
It requires precision.
349
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:37,280
It's best.
350
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,960
[Richard] Having eventually emerged
from the trees,
351
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,920
we arrived at the Poznan racetrack.
352
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:55,800
Mr Wilman has booked us in to take part
in some local racing, which is great
353
00:17:56,040 --> 00:18:00,160
because we're like ambassadors.
This is a cultural exchange.
354
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,480
Without the culture
or anything to exchange.
355
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:09,080
[Richard] It was an impressive circuit.
356
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:10,960
With all mod cons.
357
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:15,640
But the real treat
358
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,280
was waiting for us in the pits.
359
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,280
[solemn music]
360
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,320
- I know what these are.
- Race cars?
361
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,040
They're Formula Easter.
362
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,440
- [Richard] Just behind the Iron Curtain.
- [Jeremy] Exactly.
363
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:39,400
This is basically the Soviet Union's
answer to Formula 1.
364
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,080
[Jeremy] Running throughout the 70s
and 80s,
365
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,280
when the Iron Curtain
was very firmly drawn,
366
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,680
Formula Easter saw teams
from Soviet bloc countries
367
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,440
race against each other.
368
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,400
With a lot of passion and bravery,
369
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,560
but very few resources.
370
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:07,200
Power came from tuned up
1.3 litre Lada engines.
371
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,880
The suspension
from East German minivans.
372
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,400
The steering rack
started life in Trabants.
373
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,960
The set of tyres
had to last a whole season.
374
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,640
[engine revving]
375
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,320
The Polish team was so hard up
376
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,520
that motor sport fan and fellow Pole
377
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:34,040
Pope John Paul II
had to buy their helmets.
378
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,440
But despite this make-do and mend
handicap,
379
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:43,320
Formula Easter provided
an exciting distraction for people
380
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:47,240
who'd spent all week
queueing for a loaf of bread.
381
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,480
[action music]
382
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,720
[Jeremy] I've always wanted
to see these cars.
383
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,400
I've heard about them,
you read about them.
384
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,800
All they had was a fuzzy photograph
385
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,480
taken in 1968,
386
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:10,920
at a European racetrack,
387
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,920
of a European racing car.
A bit like that.
388
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,080
- [Richard] "I want one of those."
- [Jeremy]Yeah, "I want one of those,
389
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,920
but I've only got a Lada engine."
390
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,240
[Richard] It's great what human ingenuity
can achieve, isn't it?
391
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:21,680
Determination.
392
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,800
I know what they did for shoes.
393
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,320
- You know boxing shoes?
- Yeah.
394
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:27,400
They wore those.
395
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,800
They're a bit like racing shoes.
396
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:33,480
- [Richard] They're really pretty cars.
- [Jeremy] They are so pretty.
397
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,800
That is fantastic.
398
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,920
- And safe.
- [Richard laughs]
399
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,520
[Jeremy] look how the windscreen's held
on this one.
400
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,680
- [Jeremy] That is authentic.
- [Richard] Taped in place.
401
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:47,240
[Richard] That's not coming off,
unless it rains and then it's coming off.
402
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,800
[high-pitched]
403
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:50,760
[James] Meanwhile...
404
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:57,680
many miles back, I too was in
Poland's second biggest wood,
405
00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,240
having left behind
406
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,960
the horror of the motorway.
407
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,320
Oh... This is so much nicer.
408
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,200
I've got to admit, there were a few times
on the motorway
409
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,480
when I looked at "Titties 'n' Beer"
in the mirror
410
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,320
and I thought: "Mmm."
411
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,680
Anyway, now we're on this road,
a pleasant road,
412
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,560
I'm going to forget "Titties 'n' Beer",
concentrate on the Crosley.
413
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:22,880
The ugly puppy, the runt of the litter
that you should take home, remember.
414
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,520
[James] However, just a mile later...
415
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:30,240
There's a man in a BMW
trying to get past.
416
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,240
I'll try and make him some space.
Jesus!
417
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:39,640
Get off.
418
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:42,200
Go on.
419
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,680
Go past.
420
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:49,880
Oh no, I'm going to cut out. I have.
It's died.
421
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,040
[honking]
422
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:54,520
Right.
423
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,480
[the engine sputters]
424
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,600
[the engine dies]
425
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,240
Ah.
426
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:09,960
[Jeremy] Back at the circuit,
427
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,600
Hammond and I had now chosen
428
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,120
which cars we'd be driving
in the race.
429
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:16,720
Oh, yes.
430
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:20,440
Ah!
431
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,400
[Richard laughs]
432
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:24,640
[Jeremy] That is it.
433
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:26,480
My arse is that far out of the seat.
434
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,080
Oh dear.
435
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,320
- Is there a bigger one?
- [man] No.
436
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,680
This is the...
So this is the biggest?
437
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,000
I won't be able to do it.
438
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,560
- You'll miss out on our day out.
- What do you want me to do?
439
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:42,560
Be less fat.
440
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,000
[Richard] It's quite easy.
441
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,680
- [Jeremy] Obesity is an illness.
- It's a big fat illness.
442
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,520
- [Richard] A big fat heavy illness.
- [Jeremy laughs]
443
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,760
It's frustrating, you're ready
to do things. You're primed.
444
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,600
You can't do them because you're so fat.
445
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,520
[he laughs]
446
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,040
I'm sorry.
You're quite sad.
447
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:04,720
- I am.
- [Richard] You're going to miss out.
448
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,840
You are being quite funny, but...
449
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:08,800
Oh God!
450
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:13,280
[Jeremy groans]
451
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:18,800
I can't get out.
452
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,120
Ah.
453
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:21,680
[Richard] Oh dear.
454
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,000
[man] ...the bodywork from you.
455
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:26,680
[Jeremy] Can you help me get out?
456
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:30,240
[Richard] They'll have to dismantle
the car around him!
457
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,920
They're going to have
to dismantle the car around you
458
00:23:35,120 --> 00:23:37,080
to get you out.
[he laughs]
459
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,600
They're peeling it off him
like a diving suit.
460
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,400
[they laugh]
461
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,800
[Richard] It would have been easier
to paint a racecar on him
462
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,480
and then wipe it off.
463
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:53,120
Thank you.
464
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:58,240
They've popped your dignity in
the workshop, you can go and pick it up.
465
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,440
[Jeremy] While Hammond
and his competitors
466
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:04,720
got ready for qualifying,
467
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,640
I realised there was
something useful I could do.
468
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,840
I've decided to appoint myself
as team manager.
469
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,680
- Have you?
- Yeah, I'm Toto Wolff.
470
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:18,760
[Jeremy] The only thing
471
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,800
- that is slightly worrying me...
- [Richard] What?
472
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,800
James May. Qualifying is in 2 minutes.
Is it 2 minutes?
473
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,680
- [man speaking]
- 2 minutes.
474
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,640
James May is still not here.
475
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,520
He needs to get a wriggle on or he won't
be here for qualifying.
476
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,520
That's the rules, mate.
477
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,040
Be here on time and don't be too fat.
478
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,400
[laughs]
479
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,840
[James] As it happened,
the Crosley was now
480
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,080
up and running.
481
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:43,640
And I was not far
482
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:45,560
from the circuit.
483
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,520
Perfect gear change.
484
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,320
[creaking]
485
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,440
Oh, no. No, no, don't do it.
486
00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,720
[the engine won't start]
487
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:07,320
[racing car engine]
488
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,120
[Jeremy] Back at the track,
489
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,120
qualifying had now begun.
490
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,800
[suspenseful music]
491
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:14,880
Hey, hey!
492
00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:18,600
He's on the outside.
493
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,760
[Jeremy] As team manager, it was my job
494
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,520
to record my driver's lap times.
495
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,120
Here he comes.
496
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,640
2.22. Oh, shit!
497
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,440
Wait. How do I...
498
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,120
How do I make the stopwatch?
499
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:42,080
How do... if you stop it,
500
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,680
How do... I needed another stopwatch.
501
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,800
[Jeremy] Before I got
the chance to tell Hammond
502
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,520
that I had no meaningful lap times,
503
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,360
James arrived.
504
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:58,360
Too late for qualifying, but still keen
to have some kind of role.
505
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,400
So, as team boss, I gave him one.
506
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:02,560
They haven't got a medical car.
507
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,560
So if you can turn your car
into an ambulance...
508
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:10,480
Wouldn't it make more sense
to turn yours into the medical car?
509
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,640
Thought about that.
Mine's only got 2 seats,
510
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,320
couldn't get a stretcher in it.
Could get it in yours.
511
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,960
- Alright.
- If you do that, it'd be brilliant.
512
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:18,920
Alright.
513
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,000
[suspenseful music]
514
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,520
[Richard] Happily,
someone who wasn't an ape
515
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:28,480
had been keeping lap times
516
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:30,760
and it turned out that I'd qualified
517
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,720
in sixth place.
518
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:38,280
This is an amazing treat on our road trip
that no one's ever thought of doing.
519
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,160
- Look who's here.
- [Richard] Hello, mate.
520
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:42,800
Have you done the car?
521
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,440
- You missed qualifying.
- [James] I know.
522
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:46,480
[Richard] It's a shame,
it's brilliant fun.
523
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:47,800
I was looking forward to a race.
524
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:49,240
Have fun.
525
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:50,920
- I will.
- Could have been me.
526
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:52,520
Yeah, I know.
You're missing it.
527
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,280
Because you're too fat.
528
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,120
He said he was too tall.
529
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,000
[suspenseful music]
530
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,120
[Jeremy] As the drivers prepared
for the off,
531
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:08,000
I gave Hammond
some final advice on strategy.
532
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,080
Thank you so much.
533
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,240
[motors revving]
534
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,160
There he is!
535
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,040
He overtook someone.
536
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:31,280
[he laughs]
537
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,080
[upbeat music]
538
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,240
Concentrate, Hammond.
Don't crash.
539
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,280
Just have your own race.
540
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,160
I'll see if I can keep hold
of fourth place.
541
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,200
Oh!
542
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,280
Oh no. Oh no.
543
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,000
[James] What if he's in third or fifth
next time he comes round?
544
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,560
- That's a good point.
- Do I put a question mark then?
545
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:24,520
[they laugh]
546
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,320
[music continues]
547
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:29,480
Come on. Keep going.
548
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:39,400
[he laughs]
I'm a proper racing driver.
549
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,960
[dramatic music]
550
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:55,760
This is a fast one.
551
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,080
- [Jeremy] Here he comes.
- Is that him?
552
00:28:58,840 --> 00:28:59,760
[Jeremy] Oh shit!
553
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,800
I reckon I could do that one in 4.
554
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,520
[tyres screeching]
555
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,520
[James] Hammond continued
on his merry way,
556
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,720
completely unaware that his leaking car
557
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:25,120
had turned the track into a skating rink.
558
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,280
Oh! Somebody's gone off.
559
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,920
Somebody else has gone off.
560
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:39,000
[James] Sadly, his team boss was making
a bit of a meal of warning him.
561
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,880
- Why "some kind of"?
- We don't know what it is.
562
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:43,960
Just put "fluid".
563
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:48,600
[tyres screeching]
564
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:49,640
Oh, bollocks.
565
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,280
- [James] Is that him?
- [Jeremy] No.
566
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:55,720
Is that a red light?
567
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,040
[man] Hammond's off. Hammond's off.
568
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:02,680
[Jeremy] What?
569
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:04,720
- [James] Hammond's off.
- Shit.
570
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:10,840
[Richard] Oh God.
571
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:12,520
Ahhh!
572
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:17,600
I'm alright. I hurt my leg,
573
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,520
I do need someone to come and get me.
574
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:22,480
[man] James is on his way.
575
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:25,240
Who?
576
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:27,560
[man] James. James is on his way.
577
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,200
[ambulance siren]
578
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,040
[ambulance siren]
579
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,720
[engine won't start]
580
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,320
[Jeremy] Oh, come on.
581
00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:02,000
[engine revving]
582
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,240
[engine won't start]
583
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:28,320
Hang on.
584
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,280
Doesn't like hot starting.
585
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:41,560
[Jeremy] There we go.
586
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:45,000
- Hang in there, Hammond.
- [Richard] Yes, I'm hanging in.
587
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,040
You're not dead.
588
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,520
No. In fact, I've got better.
589
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:56,680
[Jeremy] Sadly, Hammond's spillage
had caused so much carnage
590
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,480
that the rest of the racing
was cancelled.
591
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,480
So, for the second time
592
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,840
since we arrived in Poland,
we scarpered.
593
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,320
[upbeat music]
594
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,640
But not before
I modified my car slightly.
595
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:13,920
I've painted my wheels green
596
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,000
to make them more racy,
a bit more flamboyant.
597
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,440
[Richard] Did it need increased
flamboyance, your car?
598
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,120
I'm just enjoying my reflection
in your chrome wheels.
599
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:27,640
[Richard] You're enjoying looking
at that?
600
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,160
It looks like a disaster with a Lego set.
601
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:33,040
Something I'd leave on the sitting room
carpet when I was 8.
602
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:34,920
[upbeat music]
603
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,120
[Jeremy] It was now late in the day.
604
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:45,920
We wanted to stop off
and see Jesus before going to our hotel,
605
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:47,240
90 miles away.
606
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:49,560
That wasn't going to be
607
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,160
much of a problem for Richard
608
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:53,320
with his 6-litre V8,
609
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,040
or me.
610
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:58,920
James though...
611
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,320
It's June 21, the longest day,
612
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,520
and for James May, it's going
613
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:06,760
- to feel like it.
- [laughter]
614
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,240
[high-pitched revving]
615
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,120
[James] Situation report.
616
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,960
The engine cooling temperature is rising.
617
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:18,320
It's not in the danger zone yet,
but it's getting there.
618
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,840
- Oh God, it's truck time. No!
- [truck honking]
619
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:23,800
Arghhh!
620
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,360
Holy shit!
621
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,880
[Jeremy] Untroubled by any issues at all,
622
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:36,520
we were now arriving in Jesus' garden.
623
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:38,840
God, it's enormous.
624
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:40,680
[organ playing]
625
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:44,760
Jesus!
626
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:48,600
[religious music]
627
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,280
[Richard] Does it do anything
if you put 50p in?
628
00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:58,400
[Jeremy] I'll tell you what's funny.
629
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,080
I was just googling him.
630
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,760
He's the second tallest Jesus
in the world.
631
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,320
- Brilliant.
- One in Indonesia is taller.
632
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,960
That must be depressing.
Did this one go up first?
633
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:11,160
It must have done. You wouldn't build
the second biggest one.
634
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,200
You wouldn't say...
I don't know, we're in Poland.
635
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,520
We've been in the second biggest wood,
the second busiest port.
636
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:19,800
- [Richard] Yep.
- [Jeremy] I tell you what else I found.
637
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:23,880
Until very recently,
he had a cell tower on top of his head.
638
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,320
- And then there were some complaints.
- Why?
639
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:31,960
Because people were watching
strong pornography beamed to their phones
640
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:33,400
from Jesus' head.
641
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:35,160
[Richard] Yeah.
642
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:38,760
[Jeremy] That was a mistake,
putting the internet on Jesus' head.
643
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,520
[Richard] It's not dignified.
644
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,120
Also, there's a door in Jesus.
Who knew that?
645
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000
- Look.
- Is that Jesus' back door?
646
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,360
[Jeremy laughs]
647
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,280
[Richard] The next time
somebody surprises me
648
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,960
and I say: "Christ back door!"
649
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,160
[Jeremy laughs]
650
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:56,920
- That's what you're talking...
- That's what I'm talking about.
651
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,600
[Richard] This is proper road trip stuff.
This is what you do on a road trip.
652
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,080
It's exactly what you do on a road trip.
653
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:04,400
[James sighs]
654
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:08,160
[Jeremy] Unless, that is,
you're in a 75-year-old Crosley.
655
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,960
With an overheating engine.
656
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:14,280
This is Richard Hammond's territory.
He likes all this old stuff
657
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,040
from before the war and just after
658
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:20,480
and says: "It's one of only three."
I'm not [beep] surprised!
659
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,520
I suspect the radiator's blocked.
660
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:26,840
Wow!
661
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:30,360
There's quite a lot of brownness coming
out if you look underneath.
662
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:35,120
I was looking forward to seeing
that big Jesus.
663
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,400
[James] But all I could do now
was concentrate
664
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:45,360
on getting to the hotel before I needed
to use my antique headlamps.
665
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,520
Another 62 miles to go.
666
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:53,280
I'm getting appalling cramp
in this leg, all the way up here.
667
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,960
My arse is completely numb.
668
00:35:57,800 --> 00:35:59,640
God, let it end!
669
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,520
[James] When I finally reached
the overnight halt,
670
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:10,640
I was so shattered,
I went straight to bed.
671
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:22,800
- He's gone to bed.
- Yes.
672
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,600
[Richard] Us two, however, having enjoyed
673
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:27,480
a much less stressful afternoon,
674
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,160
still had the energy
to borrow some locals
675
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:34,040
and engage in a bit
of booze-fueled japery.
676
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:35,840
[Richard] Everybody get
what you can get to lift.
677
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,560
- Grab and lift it.
- Anything you can.
678
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,640
[Richard] Three, two...
Bloody hell, that wasn't difficult.
679
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:42,440
- [Richard] That way.
- [Jeremy] Other way.
680
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,000
[Richard] Back to there.
681
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:45,600
[Jeremy] My back! Jesus!
682
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:49,560
- Ow, my back. And my fingers.
- [Richard] We should...
683
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:54,440
[Jeremy] This could sound like
a porn film if we weren't careful.
684
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,840
[Jeremy] The next morning,
James was displeased
685
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:08,080
to find his car was tucked hard against
the wall in the hotel's restaurant.
686
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,840
[James] Very funny, bell ends.
687
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:16,680
OK.
688
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:18,680
[groans]
689
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:19,880
Ow!
690
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:21,200
Jesus.
691
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,200
[upbeat music]
692
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:28,440
[Jeremy] This delay meant he was
miles behind Richard and me.
693
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:31,480
Here's the plan for today.
694
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:35,440
Stop off at Stalag Luft III,
where The Great Escape happened.
695
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:40,800
A spot of lunch and then a long drive
to Krakow.
696
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,400
[Jeremy] Ever since we decided
to do this trip,
697
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:48,160
months ago,
James May has been beside himself
698
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:51,440
with excitement about visiting
Stalag Luft III.
699
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,400
He's even wearing a Great Escape T-shirt.
700
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:02,080
[Jeremy] But now, at least he was
on his way.
701
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:03,080
[James] Sorry.
702
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:06,600
Bollocks.
703
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,520
[Jeremy] ...and feeling very miserable.
704
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:20,640
It wasn't a terrible dream,
I really am driving
705
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,040
a Crosley across Eastern Europe.
706
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:29,440
I'm already in top gear,
this is it for an hour.
707
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,920
[James] On the plus side,
I wasn't on the terrifying motorway.
708
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:40,320
On the minus side,
709
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,640
everyone else wished I was.
710
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:44,280
[car horn]
711
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,560
[James] I'm doing my best.
712
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:51,360
[James] He's going for it.
You must be mad.
713
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:54,200
No! Ah!
714
00:38:58,480 --> 00:38:59,680
He's going.
715
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:02,960
- There he goes.
- [lorry horn]
716
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,160
There's another one.
717
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:08,840
They're both going. Oh, my God!
718
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:11,040
Jeez!
719
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,600
I'm now responsible.
720
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,400
[Jeremy] Far ahead, I too was having
a bit of a drama.
721
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:20,040
[buzzing]
722
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:23,960
Oh, Christ, that's not a wasp.
What the [beep] hell is that?
723
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:27,440
It's absolutely gigantic.
724
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,080
- Get out! Get out!
- [Richard laughs]
725
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,840
I can see it from here.
It's enormous!
726
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:35,080
It's incredibly big.
727
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:36,800
Get out.
728
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,960
[soft music]
729
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:42,640
[Jeremy] After ejecting
the poisonous hand glider,
730
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:45,680
I noticed that my car
had a comfort feature
731
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,000
I somehow missed.
732
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:49,880
I've got an overdrive button!
733
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,080
[Jeremy] Amazing news
from the Le-Seyde, Hammond.
734
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:56,160
I've got overdrive.
735
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:58,160
Oh yeah!
736
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,360
[Richard] Welcome to overdrive.
737
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:03,200
Overdrive!
738
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,920
[Jeremy] In case you're wondering,
overdrive
739
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,000
reduces the noise effectively
when you're on a motorway.
740
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:10,760
It's kind of like another gear.
741
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:13,600
So I'm driving along now
742
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,080
at 60 mph
743
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:17,480
3 and a bit thousand rpm.
744
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:22,080
I engage overdrive and we drop
to 2,400 rpm.
745
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:25,120
It just makes it more economical
and quieter.
746
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:30,960
That's Stalag Luft III.
747
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:32,200
One kilometre.
748
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:39,000
James is going to be
genuinely heartbroken if he misses this.
749
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,520
[James] Oh, God, you...
750
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,760
[James] It's completely died.
751
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:57,080
What a piece of old crap.
752
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:58,800
[groans]
753
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,600
[James] To get out of everyone's way,
I had to push
754
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,200
the Crosley into the roadworks up ahead.
755
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:11,680
Even though I was speaking to them
in Italian for some reason...
756
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:14,040
- Kaput?
- Si.
757
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,400
...they lent me a multi-metre
758
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,080
so that I could take a battery reading.
759
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:21,000
Right.
760
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:23,680
Battery's obviously completely dead.
761
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,360
I don't know about the alternator output.
762
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:27,920
[in polish] What a pile of shit.
763
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:33,600
[music theme from The Great Escape]
764
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:36,760
[Jeremy] As James struggled
765
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,400
with his drunken late-night purchase,
766
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,400
we were wandering around the actual site
767
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:49,160
where, in World War II, 80 prisoners
768
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:52,880
dug a 110-metre escape tunnel
769
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:56,160
from under the stove
770
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:57,800
in one of the huts.
771
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,480
It's a story that was immortalised
772
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:04,760
in one of the greatest films ever made.
773
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:06,840
The Great Escape.
774
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:08,840
[dramatic music]
775
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:15,400
- See you in Piccadilly.
- Scott's bar.
776
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:17,080
Right.
777
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:26,480
Oh!
778
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:28,280
That's not the one is it?
779
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,760
- [Richard] That stove there?
- [Jeremy] It probably is.
780
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,280
Yes, look, look, look.
781
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:35,440
That's where the tunnel went down
782
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:36,920
and then over to the trees.
783
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:41,640
And actual people actually dug a tunnel
out of here.
784
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:43,920
- [Jeremy] Charles Bronson.
- [Richard] No, I mean...
785
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,600
- Gordon Jackson.
- No, real... they're actors, Jeremy.
786
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:49,800
[Richard] Oh! Look at this.
787
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,360
These are the trollies
for moving stuff along.
788
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:55,640
Look, that's the actual thing that
Charles Bronson got stuck on.
789
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,400
That wasn't... That was... OK.
790
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:00,120
[Jeremy] Here we go, look.
791
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,080
There's some pictures
of the actual people.
792
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,200
James Garner, Steve McQueen,
793
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:10,400
- Donald Pleasance.
- [Richard] No, again, this is from...
794
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:15,040
[Jeremy] Look, that's a real photograph
taken with Dickie Attenborough.
795
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:19,480
We're going to have to sort out
the blurring of fact and fiction there.
796
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:22,640
A lot of what was told in the movie
happened
797
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:24,880
- but that wasn't it happening.
- Look!
798
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:28,560
- Gordon Jackson and Dickie Attenborough.
- They didn't film it on the day.
799
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:33,320
[Richard] I thought it best
to take Jeremy outside,
800
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,920
where we found the monument
that marked the route of Harry,
801
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:39,160
the codename given to the escape tunnel.
802
00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:43,880
- [Jeremy] Bloody hell, it's miles!
- [Richard] Yeah.
803
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:47,680
Imagine crawling under here in
a homemade tunnel. And this is sand.
804
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:48,800
[Richard] Mmh.
805
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:49,760
[Jeremy] At any moment...
806
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:51,840
[Richard] Death. In one form or another.
807
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:53,640
[Jeremy] Incredible.
808
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:56,200
[Jeremy] We were then joined
by a guide.
809
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,480
How deep was Harry?
810
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:01,760
It was actually between 8 and 9 metres,
811
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:03,880
- which is 30 feet.
- Metres?
812
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,120
9 metres, which is actually roughly
the size of the tree.
813
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:08,160
[Richard] Yeah!
814
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,720
- [Jeremy] That's 30 feet.
- Why that deep?
815
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:12,400
There was a reason.
816
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:14,840
The camp was called an escape-proof camp,
817
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:19,160
which means the Germans put underground
microphones around the camp
818
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:20,600
to detect any kind of tunnel.
819
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:23,480
- So they had to go deeper than those.
- Deeper than the microphones.
820
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,560
I'm staggered. I cannot believe
821
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:29,080
how long it is and I can't believe
how deep it was.
822
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:32,080
[Jeremy] We then started wondering
823
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:35,240
why they dug it because the prison camp
824
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:38,120
was actually more like a holiday camp.
825
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:41,720
- [Jeremy] A swimming pool?
- [guide] Yep. That's the one.
826
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:45,080
- [Jeremy] No way I'd escape!
- [Richard] No, me neither.
827
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:47,720
- There was a proper hockey ring here.
- What?
828
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:48,680
[Richard] What?
829
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,400
There was a huge sports field
right behind those trees.
830
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:56,000
And during the winter,
they built a huge hockey ring.
831
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:57,840
They had a sports pitch,
a swimming pool...
832
00:44:58,040 --> 00:44:59,640
- A library.
- A library.
833
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:00,960
- A theatre.
- What?
834
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:01,920
A theatre.
835
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:06,120
Are you sure it wasn't people
trying to tunnel in?
836
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:07,760
- Yeah.
- [laughter]
837
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,920
[Jeremy] The guide showed us
what he meant by a theatre.
838
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:13,560
- [Richard] Oh my God!
- [Jeremy] No!
839
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:17,560
[guide] 350 seats, orchestra, pits,
stage, backstage...
840
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,480
- Was it built as a theatre?
- Built as a theatre.
841
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:24,160
I thought you meant it would be a shed
that they used as a theatre.
842
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,680
[Jeremy] Like It Ain't Half Hot, Mum.
God all bloody mighty!
843
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:30,880
[Jeremy] If I'd been made to fight
in the war,
844
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:32,960
I'd have got myself captured.
845
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:36,000
[guide] You know what they say,
"We don't care how comfortable
846
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,160
camp will be, we'll still escape."
847
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:41,040
- It was their duty, they had to escape.
- They did.
848
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,000
[Richard] Having said our goodbyes...
849
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,720
[Richard] Absolutely fascinating.
Thank you for filling in the gaps.
850
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:47,600
- [guide] My pleasure.
- [Richard] It was really good.
851
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:49,480
[Richard] ...we got back on the move.
852
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:50,800
[Richard] That was incredible.
853
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:55,200
That was genuinely top 10
most interesting things I've ever seen,
854
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,120
places I've ever been.
855
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,400
It turns out road trips no one has ever
thought of doing before
856
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:02,360
are worth having a go at,
once you've thought of them.
857
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:04,240
And chosen the right car - which I have.
858
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:08,240
[James] Ahhh!
859
00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:11,280
[James] Having missed
the prisoner of war camp,
860
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:14,400
I had at least got the Crosley
going again.
861
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:18,040
I was beginning to wonder why I bothered.
862
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:22,080
I did 300 miles yesterday.
863
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:25,760
The schedule for today calls
for another 300 miles.
864
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,520
There's 1,100 miles still to go.
865
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:32,520
4 times as far nearly
as I've gone already,
866
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:36,480
with this noise.
I don't think I can do it.
867
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:39,800
- [horns tooting]
- Oh, God!
868
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,480
[classical music on piano]
869
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:45,760
[Richard] Up ahead,
870
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,120
over a simple Polish lunch,
871
00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:50,400
Jeremy and I discussed
872
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:54,000
just how much
James was messing up the trip.
873
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:58,320
You missed the Jesus,
you missed the prison camp,
874
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:01,400
you missed breakfast.
He's missed lunch.
875
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:03,680
{\an8}[Richard] He's going to miss
all the good bits.
876
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,440
{\an8}We haven't got somebody to talk to about
because he wasn't part of it.
877
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:10,320
He can't join in with our conversation.
That's no fun.
878
00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:14,840
[groovy music]
879
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:22,080
[Richard] With Krakow more
than 200 miles away,
880
00:47:22,240 --> 00:47:23,800
we couldn't wait for James.
881
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:25,480
So we pressed on.
882
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:29,840
["A Girl Like You"
by Edwyn Collins playing]
883
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:34,520
[Richard] Resuming once more
our new favorite topic of conversation.
884
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:37,240
Which Jag had an overdrive?
885
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:40,760
You could probably get one in a MK2
I think.
886
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,960
I know Triumph did because
the Dolly Sprint had an overdrive.
887
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:45,360
[James] Good afternoon.
888
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:47,160
What?
889
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:48,280
What?
890
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:52,480
[music continues]
891
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:02,160
[Jeremy] James May, that's just cheating.
892
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:06,400
You can't just get in the backup car
and tow your own car on a trailer.
893
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:09,000
Well, if you have a racehorse, say,
894
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:12,280
you don't ride it to Aintree,
you put it in a horsebox.
895
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:15,000
If you have a valuable
classic racing car, you take it
896
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:16,720
to the racetrack on a trailer.
897
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:20,320
That's what I'm doing. I'm taking
my valuable car to the next event.
898
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:22,720
I don't want to be rude, old chap,
899
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:25,520
but you're making
a complete hash of this.
900
00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:26,840
[he laughs]
901
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:30,240
[Jeremy] The thing
I'm most interested in is
902
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:33,760
how bad must the Crosley have been
for you to get into a car
903
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,800
with "Titties 'n' Beer"
written on the side of it?
904
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:41,400
[James] Well, it's a very good point and
I did give it a great deal of thought.
905
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:45,680
I've decided I can deal with it.
906
00:48:49,240 --> 00:48:53,600
[Jeremy] After a long drive,
we eventually arrived in Krakow.
907
00:48:54,240 --> 00:48:59,480
Which it turns out is one
of Europe's absolute gems.
908
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:01,800
[romantic music]
909
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:18,200
[Jeremy] One of the most cultured places
probably in the world.
910
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:19,240
[Richard] Yeah.
911
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:23,000
I wouldn't want to arrive here in a car
that says "Titties 'n' Beer".
912
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:24,040
That's for sure.
913
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:27,480
[Richard] Art, music, architecture,
titties and beer.
914
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:29,440
[James] I'm aware of all this, thank you.
915
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:30,960
[he laughs]
916
00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:36,040
Please don't let that woman look round.
917
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:47,920
I'll pretend I'm scratching my face
because I'm in deep thought.
918
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,000
[James] We've always had quite a few fans
919
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:53,480
in Poland.
920
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:56,680
I was hoping that our popularity
had faded.
921
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:58,960
Sadly however...
922
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:00,280
[conversations overlapping]
923
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:01,240
Hello.
924
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:09,600
[James] Mercifully, we were soon able
925
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:11,840
to leave the cars because Jeremy
was keen
926
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:15,080
to visit what he said was the best thing
927
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:17,120
in the world.
928
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,880
- [Jeremy] Hello. Can we have 3 tickets?
- [man] Yes.
929
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:22,560
[Jeremy] There we are. Lovely.
930
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:26,880
I've never been to a waxworks museum.
931
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:32,560
[Jeremy] And what a way it was for
Hammond to pop his waxwork cherry.
932
00:50:32,720 --> 00:50:34,000
[Richard] Oh, there's a...
933
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:36,320
[they laugh]
934
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:52,040
James, that's really cruel. Stop it.
935
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:55,600
The people who run the place
will be bloody hurt.
936
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:57,320
[James laughs]
937
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:00,880
- [Jeremy] OK, it's not funny.
- [James] No, it's not.
938
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:03,600
[they laugh]
939
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:09,600
He is pushing out a whopper.
940
00:51:11,240 --> 00:51:13,040
[Richard] He is definitely shifting
941
00:51:13,240 --> 00:51:15,840
a big sturdy breakfast.
942
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:17,680
[Richard] Good lord!
943
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:20,000
[they laugh]
944
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:21,800
I didn't know you could stand...
945
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:25,920
[James] "I'd like ein Volk... Oh,
I'm sorry, I've fallen over backwards."
946
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:27,720
[Richard] Why is he leaning...
947
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:29,680
I've never seen him
with his tie like that.
948
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:33,640
He was very smartly dressed
as a general rule.
949
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:37,360
I think this has been
willfully treated poorly.
950
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:40,480
[Richard] I'm seeing brilliant things
in Poland.
951
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:42,760
[they laugh]
952
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:46,080
- [James] What the bloody hell is that?
- [Richard] Good Lord!
953
00:51:46,280 --> 00:51:50,160
We know what it is because we've got
the helpful symbol on the wall.
954
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:55,600
[Jeremy] Having seen all the pop icons,
955
00:51:57,720 --> 00:52:01,560
we moved into what we assumed
was a motoring area.
956
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:02,680
Is it you?
957
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:04,560
[Richard] No, it's not.
958
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:05,600
It is, it's you.
959
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:08,960
- It's Sylvester Stallone.
- [Jeremy] I thought it was you.
960
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:11,520
Guess who it is.
961
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:13,440
[Jeremy] Erm...
962
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:15,360
[Jeremy] George Lazen... I don't know.
963
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,800
- [James] Is it, bollocks!
- [they laugh]
964
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:23,520
Who the hell's that?
965
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:26,120
- Is that Keira Knightley?
- [Richard] I think it is.
966
00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:28,400
That's not even an approximation
of Keira.
967
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:32,640
I would love to see Keira Knightley
standing next to that.
968
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:34,760
I'd like to see the real Keira Knightley
walking around Krakow.
969
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:38,480
Nobody would ask for her autograph.
They'd say: "That's not Keira Knightley.
970
00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:40,000
It looks nothing like her."
971
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:46,760
[Jeremy] After what may or not may have
been the Doctor Who zone,
972
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:51,880
we entered an area of great mystery.
973
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:53,040
[Richard] Spooky woods.
974
00:52:53,240 --> 00:52:55,080
[Jeremy] Some of the decoration
is tremendous.
975
00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:58,640
[James] Everything is good,
apart from the waxworks.
976
00:52:58,800 --> 00:52:59,920
[Richard] James May!
977
00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:03,080
[Jeremy] Ryan Reynolds?
978
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:05,200
- [Richard] That's Paul Walker.
- [Jeremy] Oh.
979
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:06,160
[Jeremy] In a room
980
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:09,280
containing what was
probably Elvis Presley...
981
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,520
Oh, for heaven's sake!
982
00:53:13,720 --> 00:53:16,400
[Jeremy] Nigel Mansell.
It isn't though, is it?
983
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:19,400
[Richard] His mustache matches
his eyebrows. It is.
984
00:53:20,720 --> 00:53:23,440
Why have Nigel Mansell?
985
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:24,440
[Jeremy] Why not Lewis Hamilton?
986
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:26,920
[Richard] The reference is a bit
out of date.
987
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,640
- Bless him, but...
- Lando Norris.
988
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:31,760
George Russell.
989
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,200
[Jeremy] I'm really annoyed about this.
990
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:37,760
It isn't that it's not very good,
it's the wrong subject.
991
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:38,920
[James laughs]
992
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,120
[Jeremy] I then had a brainwave.
993
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:43,640
[Jeremy] I'm going to steal it.
994
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:49,040
[Jeremy] If we take him away,
they'll be forced to replace it.
995
00:53:49,240 --> 00:53:50,840
With Lewis Hamilton.
996
00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:53,480
Let me put it this way.
997
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:57,440
We've got many miles to get to Slovenia
and you're driving a terrible car.
998
00:53:58,240 --> 00:54:00,880
- If we had this with us...
- Yeah?
999
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:01,920
It'd cheer us up.
1000
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:04,600
- [Richard] It would cheer us up.
- [Jeremy] Every time you're feeling low,
1001
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:08,240
sometimes Titties 'n' Beer
was being a bit badly behaved,
1002
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:10,880
you'd just have to look
in your rear wing mirror
1003
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:12,680
and there in my passenger seat...
1004
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:15,200
Is someone who looks
a bit like Nigel Mansell.
1005
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:20,880
Right.
1006
00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:22,280
- We're off to...
- No, wait.
1007
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:25,440
- If we all...
- He's doing the talk.
1008
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:27,840
Do the Birmingham accent.
You're from Birmingham.
1009
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,840
[in Birmingham accent] "I've had enough
of this. Let's have a drive outside."
1010
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:32,760
Alright, Nigel, we'll take you out.
1011
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:34,080
[accent] "Thanks
for bringing me with you, lads.
1012
00:54:34,240 --> 00:54:36,400
I really enjoyed the look
around the museum.
1013
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:38,520
Just what I wanted to see.
1014
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:41,160
That one in London,
it's not as good as this, is it?
1015
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:44,800
I'm doing some racing this afternoon.
I'm dressed and ready.
1016
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:48,000
Mind my 'ead on this beam.
Oh, bugger, I knocked it.
1017
00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:50,640
I'll see you later, Paul Walker, mate."
1018
00:54:51,240 --> 00:54:53,280
- [they laugh]
- [Richard] Keep going!
1019
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:55,440
[accent] "Oh, I hate Harry Potter.
1020
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:57,600
Absolute bollocks.
1021
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:00,520
Oh, look, lads, wait for us,
I'm coming."
1022
00:55:02,880 --> 00:55:05,600
- [Richard] Guys.
- [Jeremy] We can get out this way.
1023
00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:07,480
Come, come.
1024
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:12,120
[accent] "That, lads, was an amazing
visit. Thanks for bringing us with yer."
1025
00:55:13,720 --> 00:55:15,040
- [James] Oh.
- [Jeremy] Oh.
1026
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:17,160
[James] This is probably
somebody's house.
1027
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:19,040
[Richard] It's possible.
They may be a bit surprised
1028
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:21,880
to find us three and Nigel Mansell in it.
1029
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,760
[soothing music]
1030
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:27,480
[James] That night, we stayed in Krakow,
1031
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:30,200
which meant I had time
to exact some revenge
1032
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,120
on my colleagues
1033
00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:35,040
for putting my car in a restaurant.
1034
00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:39,000
[drilling]
1035
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:42,560
[he hums a song]
1036
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:47,880
[Richard] Ready? OK.
1037
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:49,200
- [Jeremy] Lovely.
- [Richard] Where are we going?
1038
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:52,240
Across the road. Across the road.
1039
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:53,760
Lovely. Well done.
Thank you.
1040
00:55:54,240 --> 00:55:55,320
[Jeremy] Perfect.
1041
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:57,280
Through the garden.
1042
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:04,000
[James] The next morning,
I retrieved the Crosley
1043
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:07,280
from where Hammond and Clarkson
had left it this time...
1044
00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:09,880
[classical music playing]
1045
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:11,440
[engine revving]
1046
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:21,240
...and then waited for their reaction
to what I'd done.
1047
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:28,720
[beep]
1048
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:32,720
How am I going to drive like this?
1049
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:36,280
[romantic music]
1050
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:55,000
[clanging noise]
1051
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:57,720
What's? Oh!
1052
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:02,880
You think you've got problems?
1053
00:57:05,280 --> 00:57:06,080
[Jeremy] Morning.
1054
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:08,960
I know, yes. Morning. Morning.
1055
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:12,600
[bell ringing]
1056
00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:14,400
Is that coming from your car?
1057
00:57:15,720 --> 00:57:16,840
I think it's when I brake.
1058
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:19,240
Yes, it's the brake bell.
1059
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:21,280
[James] A good safety feature.
1060
00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:22,880
[Richard] James May!
1061
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:28,120
- [horn]
- You wired my horn into my indicator,
1062
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:29,160
you bastard!
1063
00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:31,320
[he laughs]
1064
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:34,120
[horn]
1065
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:35,920
Oh, brilliant!
1066
00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:40,040
[bagpipes]
1067
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:43,720
When I put my foot down,
I hear bagpipes.
1068
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:45,200
[he laughs]
1069
00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:47,160
[he laughs]
1070
00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:50,560
Like my candelabras, Nigel?
1071
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:55,120
[accent] "I like them,
I've a couple in me bathroom."
1072
00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:57,120
[upbeat music]
1073
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:03,160
[Jeremy] Soon, we were on the motorway,
1074
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:05,120
heading for our next country,
1075
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:07,120
Slovakia.
1076
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:13,120
Straight away, I noticed two things.
1077
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:17,800
One: Nigel Mansell's face
was starting to melt.
1078
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:19,120
Oh, dear.
1079
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:21,000
And two...
1080
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:25,080
James, you've forgotten your Crosley.
1081
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:29,920
[Jeremy] It's not on the back
of your Titties 'n' Beer car.
1082
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:31,960
Exactly.
1083
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:34,840
I've attached the trailer
to the crew van.
1084
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:36,320
What?
1085
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:40,440
[James] The combination of the hot rod
and that long trailer
1086
00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:44,080
with the bouncy little car on
is absolutely lethal.
1087
00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:45,840
I'm driving the back-up car.
1088
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:49,240
The back-up car is here
for this eventuality.
1089
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:52,440
[Jeremy] The back-up car
is if your original car
1090
00:58:52,640 --> 00:58:55,320
explodes.
It's not because you don't like it.
1091
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:59,000
You can't rewrite the rules
as you go along, to suit you.
1092
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:02,040
Well, I have, as it happens.
1093
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:08,440
[James] To be honest,
even without a trailer attached,
1094
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:11,520
my hot rod experience was not improving.
1095
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:15,440
Where shall I start?
1096
00:59:15,640 --> 00:59:18,920
The throttle pedal is actually buried
in the door,
1097
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,560
so I have to drive it without
my right shoe on.
1098
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:25,880
But the pedal is razor sharp
and it's digging into my foot.
1099
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:27,120
It's now going numb.
1100
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:30,040
It's got a shirt button
for its steering wheel.
1101
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:32,640
It pulls violently to the right
under braking.
1102
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:35,720
It's baking hot, it's noisy
1103
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:37,120
and it's not even a proper hot rod.
1104
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:40,600
It's got a crappy,
old straight 6 Jag engine.
1105
00:59:40,760 --> 00:59:42,920
It's supposed to have a big V8 motor.
1106
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:45,800
[James] Still, unlike the Crosley,
1107
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:48,680
at least it wasn't breaking down
all the time.
1108
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:50,640
[explosion]
1109
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:52,120
[James] Oh, bollocks.
1110
00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:55,520
We need to stop.
1111
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:57,160
What?
1112
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:59,680
[car horn]
1113
00:59:59,880 --> 01:00:02,800
[Richard] It's steam. It's hot, hot, hot.
1114
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:04,280
[Jeremy] It smells hot.
1115
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:05,840
[groans]
1116
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:06,680
There you go.
1117
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:09,760
- [Jeremy] You know this engine.
- [Richard] I know this engine very well.
1118
01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:11,800
They cook the head.
1119
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:13,040
- James?
- Yes?
1120
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:14,960
You've bollocked the job.
1121
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:18,640
[James] It's not over. Let's just
have a bit of a think about it.
1122
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:19,640
I've had a bit of a think.
1123
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:23,680
What I'm thinking is that we've got
a good restaurant booked for lunch.
1124
01:00:23,840 --> 01:00:24,640
Yeah.
1125
01:00:24,800 --> 01:00:28,480
We're not going to get there if we stand
here looking at this while it cools down.
1126
01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:30,200
[Jeremy] With that decided...
1127
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:32,000
- Good luck and everything.
- Good luck.
1128
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:34,880
[Jeremy] ...Hammond and I
got back on the road.
1129
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:38,760
[Richard] I honestly don't know
what happens now.
1130
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:41,360
Nobody's ever broken the back-up car
before.
1131
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:45,240
I think we should get Nigel Mansell
to drive it.
1132
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:47,320
[he laughs]
1133
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:49,320
What do you think, Nigel?
1134
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:50,440
[accent] "I like it actually.
1135
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:52,480
I think it's quite
funny having Titties 'n' Beer
1136
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:56,480
written on the side of a Ford
with a Jag engine in it.
1137
01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:57,640
Oh!"
1138
01:00:57,840 --> 01:01:01,720
["You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet"
by Bachman Turner Overdrive]
1139
01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:04,920
[Jeremy] Disengaging overdrive.
1140
01:01:06,040 --> 01:01:07,920
[car engine throbs]
1141
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:14,320
Oh God!
1142
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:19,000
[Jeremy] Richard, Nigel and I waved
a fond farewell to Poland
1143
01:01:19,160 --> 01:01:22,040
and crossed over the border
into Slovakia.
1144
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:24,920
Oh!
1145
01:01:25,120 --> 01:01:28,520
[music continues]
1146
01:01:32,120 --> 01:01:34,560
[James] A break for a wee.
There it is.
1147
01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:38,080
Jesus! This is a piece of junk.
1148
01:01:40,480 --> 01:01:42,520
[music continues]
1149
01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:49,480
[James] Hello.
1150
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:51,400
God, it's a woman.
1151
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:55,880
[James] Thank you so much.
I'm sorry about the car.
1152
01:01:56,320 --> 01:02:00,440
I'm either in an offensive hot rod with
Titties 'n' Beer written on the side
1153
01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:02,800
or I'm holding everybody up
in the Crosley.
1154
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:07,840
I've never screwed up a film shoot
like I have this one.
1155
01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:12,200
[music continues]
1156
01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:18,520
[Jeremy] Half a country away,
1157
01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:22,360
Richard and I were starting
to feel sorry for James.
1158
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:24,440
So, like the good friends we are,
1159
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:27,760
we hatched a plan to cheer him up.
1160
01:02:30,480 --> 01:02:32,400
[tense music]
1161
01:02:47,400 --> 01:02:49,160
Here he comes.
1162
01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:53,520
[Jeremy] He's got no bonnet.
That's his cooling solution.
1163
01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:56,200
- He's suffered.
- I think he has.
1164
01:03:00,200 --> 01:03:01,360
- May.
- Hello.
1165
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:04,720
Listen, we can see that you're hot
1166
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:07,320
and bothered and you've missed
another lunch...
1167
01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:09,560
- [James] Yeah.
- But don't worry, because...
1168
01:03:09,720 --> 01:03:12,720
we've organised a treat for you.
1169
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:16,160
- [James] Some old aeroplanes to look at.
- Yes.
1170
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:17,880
Look at that. A MIG.
1171
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:19,800
Sus, Hind helicopters.
1172
01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:23,160
- That's not the treat though.
- No, it's better.
1173
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:25,320
- Much better.
- Better than any of these.
1174
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:29,120
We've arranged a drag race
for your Crosley.
1175
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:31,040
- Sorry, is it a joke?
- [Richard] No.
1176
01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:33,480
It will become clear
when you meet the competitors.
1177
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:35,960
- [Jeremy] Follow us.
- See who you're up against.
1178
01:03:37,560 --> 01:03:38,920
[car engine]
1179
01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:43,160
James, drag race rival number 1.
1180
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:44,920
A Tatra tipper truck.
1181
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:50,160
[Jeremy] Good lorry this.
But heavy. 18 and a half tons.
1182
01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:52,280
Rival number 2: a JCB tractor.
1183
01:03:52,480 --> 01:03:54,320
[military music]
1184
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:57,640
- This is 12 and a half tons.
- Power?
1185
01:03:57,800 --> 01:03:59,040
Pfff...
1186
01:03:59,200 --> 01:04:02,560
It's irrelevant, it's the weight
and it's not geared for acceleration.
1187
01:04:02,720 --> 01:04:06,280
It's a tractor. Then we have this,
a Velorex 3-wheeler.
1188
01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:11,640
Built in the early 60s in what was then
the Soviet Union, for disabled people.
1189
01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:14,280
- [James] 400hp.
- [Jeremy] No, 12.
1190
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:15,520
And then,
1191
01:04:15,720 --> 01:04:16,880
your final rival in this drag race.
1192
01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:19,120
You're racing a man.
1193
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:21,960
[Jeremy] He's called Martin.
1194
01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:26,160
Could you look cheerful
about what we've done?
1195
01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:27,960
This'll put a spring back in your step.
1196
01:04:28,160 --> 01:04:32,000
This is a drag race that you can win
in your Crosley.
1197
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:37,280
[tense music]
1198
01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:48,520
[Richard] I'm excited.
1199
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:50,800
He's lucky to have friends like us.
1200
01:04:51,200 --> 01:04:53,560
[in Polish] Trzy, dwa, jeden!
1201
01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:57,800
[engines revving]
1202
01:04:58,520 --> 01:04:59,640
- They're off.
- They're off.
1203
01:04:59,840 --> 01:05:01,120
[suspenseful music]
1204
01:05:03,520 --> 01:05:05,600
[James] Why am I doing this?
1205
01:05:07,360 --> 01:05:09,760
The vehicle for disabled people
made in the Soviet Union
1206
01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:12,200
in the early 60s is taking the lead.
1207
01:05:15,560 --> 01:05:16,360
Come on.
1208
01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:19,280
The JCB is getting well away.
1209
01:05:20,120 --> 01:05:21,280
[Jeremy] Look at the man!
1210
01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:23,760
[James] Jesus, come on car,
you can do it.
1211
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:26,040
[Jeremy] Here comes the 3-wheeler.
1212
01:05:31,800 --> 01:05:33,360
Can James beat the man?
1213
01:05:34,160 --> 01:05:34,960
[James] Come on.
1214
01:05:40,640 --> 01:05:41,680
[James] You bastard!
1215
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:43,720
- No, he cannot.
- [Richard] No, he hasn't.
1216
01:05:44,880 --> 01:05:47,760
[Richard] That's not the confidence boost
we wanted it to be.
1217
01:05:48,440 --> 01:05:49,960
Get your face right.
1218
01:05:51,120 --> 01:05:52,280
Mate.
1219
01:05:53,520 --> 01:05:55,000
That's a bit rude.
1220
01:05:55,840 --> 01:05:58,880
He didn't look as happy
as we were hoping.
1221
01:05:59,040 --> 01:06:02,320
- It didn't put a spring in his step.
- No.
1222
01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:07,840
[soft music]
1223
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,120
[James] That night, to thank them
1224
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:13,200
for the drag race, I did more things
1225
01:06:13,400 --> 01:06:14,760
to their cars,
1226
01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:20,360
which became apparent
first thing the next morning.
1227
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:24,320
[recording in Slovakian] Som impotentný.
1228
01:06:24,520 --> 01:06:26,360
Som impotentný.
1229
01:06:27,240 --> 01:06:28,880
- What?
- Som impotentný.
1230
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:31,200
- Som impotentný.
- Is it coming from me?
1231
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:34,280
Look at his face.
1232
01:06:34,440 --> 01:06:37,120
- [Richard] James?
- What's that saying?
1233
01:06:37,280 --> 01:06:39,000
That's for you to find out.
1234
01:06:40,400 --> 01:06:43,520
Hang on, Hammond.
Is anyone Slovakian?
1235
01:06:43,720 --> 01:06:44,760
- [man] Yeah.
- [Jeremy] Can we borrow you?
1236
01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:45,720
Sure.
1237
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:48,240
- [Jeremy] This chap's Slovakian.
- Hello? What is this saying?
1238
01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:50,520
[recording] Som impotentný.
1239
01:06:51,320 --> 01:06:52,800
Som impotentný.
1240
01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:54,960
Oh. I'm impotent.
1241
01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:57,480
- Important?
- "Impotent." Let me...
1242
01:06:57,680 --> 01:06:59,000
Let me translate it.
1243
01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:00,120
- Impotent!
- Yes.
1244
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:02,400
- What?
- [Jeremy] "I'm impotent."
1245
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:04,200
[he laughs]
1246
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:08,080
James May, you are sick!
1247
01:07:08,280 --> 01:07:10,680
[upbeat music]
1248
01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:12,840
[Jeremy] Still, it could be worse.
1249
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:22,840
Got to be honest,
1250
01:07:23,040 --> 01:07:26,120
I'm not going to tell James May,
but I quite like his work.
1251
01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:29,000
It gives a good Cruella vibe.
1252
01:07:30,440 --> 01:07:32,920
[Jeremy] We could have pressed on south
at this point,
1253
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:34,160
but we decided
1254
01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:36,960
to hang around in Slovakia
for a little while longer,
1255
01:07:37,120 --> 01:07:39,200
for a very good reason.
1256
01:07:39,360 --> 01:07:43,000
Today,
the Audi Q7 is made in Slovakia.
1257
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:44,840
So is the Q8.
1258
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:48,000
So is the VW Touareg,
the Porsche Cayenne,
1259
01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:49,960
the Porsche Cayenne coupé,
1260
01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:53,160
the Land Rover Defender,
the Land Rover Discovery,
1261
01:07:53,320 --> 01:07:56,560
the Peugeot 208 and the VW Up.
1262
01:07:56,760 --> 01:08:00,240
They make more cars per head
of population in Slovakia
1263
01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:04,240
than any other country in the world.
1264
01:08:06,880 --> 01:08:10,200
[romantic music]
1265
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:14,760
[Jeremy] Car-making has always been
in the blood in this part of Europe.
1266
01:08:15,240 --> 01:08:16,760
In pre-Soviet times,
1267
01:08:16,920 --> 01:08:20,160
Tatra were engineering demi-gods
1268
01:08:20,840 --> 01:08:24,160
and they were even better
at aerodynamics.
1269
01:08:25,320 --> 01:08:27,920
Even under the stranglehold
of communism,
1270
01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:31,080
Skoda turned out handsome sportscars
1271
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:34,880
and rally weapons
that could meet and beat
1272
01:08:35,040 --> 01:08:37,720
their well-funded rivals from the west.
1273
01:08:39,440 --> 01:08:42,000
And that was just
the stuff we knew about.
1274
01:08:44,560 --> 01:08:47,880
In 1957, when communism
in Czechoslovakia
1275
01:08:48,040 --> 01:08:52,160
was at its sootiest
and most monochromatic,
1276
01:08:52,640 --> 01:08:55,200
a small band of engineers at Skoda,
1277
01:08:55,320 --> 01:08:56,920
only about half a dozen of them,
1278
01:08:57,080 --> 01:09:00,360
decided to build a car that could race
at Le Mans.
1279
01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:02,800
And this is it.
1280
01:09:05,760 --> 01:09:08,800
[Jeremy] Although it was designed
as a racing machine,
1281
01:09:08,960 --> 01:09:12,840
it was so tightly packaged
that the bonnet had a little dimple
1282
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:15,640
to accommodate the offset cylinder head.
1283
01:09:16,760 --> 01:09:20,960
It is, nevertheless,
a thing of exquisite beauty.
1284
01:09:25,320 --> 01:09:26,960
[engine roars]
1285
01:09:27,160 --> 01:09:29,280
[upbeat music]
1286
01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:34,800
[Jeremy] It may only have
1287
01:09:35,000 --> 01:09:39,760
1100cc,
and it may only produce 91hp,
1288
01:09:40,160 --> 01:09:45,400
but the whole car only weighs
580 kilos.
1289
01:09:46,880 --> 01:09:51,320
And at a top speed of 124 mph,
1290
01:09:51,920 --> 01:09:54,400
in a car that's no bigger than my bath.
1291
01:09:58,160 --> 01:10:02,280
It revs to 8,500 rpm.
1292
01:10:02,960 --> 01:10:05,640
[engine revving]
1293
01:10:09,520 --> 01:10:11,360
[suspenseful music]
1294
01:10:15,160 --> 01:10:17,560
It even handles properly.
1295
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:19,520
The engine is at the front,
1296
01:10:19,920 --> 01:10:23,320
but the gearbox is at the back.
1297
01:10:26,080 --> 01:10:28,400
Perfect weight distribution.
1298
01:10:29,200 --> 01:10:32,440
Well, it did before I got in.
That's changed everything a bit.
1299
01:10:37,320 --> 01:10:40,600
I keep thinking the steering wheel
is going to snap.
1300
01:10:41,600 --> 01:10:42,840
Look.
1301
01:10:44,800 --> 01:10:48,800
That doesn't fill me with confidence,
but we'll gloss over it.
1302
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:55,520
This is the very definition
of a sports car.
1303
01:10:56,880 --> 01:10:59,560
This is what Ferrari
should be making today
1304
01:10:59,720 --> 01:11:02,880
and Maserati and Alfa Romeo.
Very small,
1305
01:11:03,880 --> 01:11:08,600
very light, very fast.
An agile, frantic little car.
1306
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:13,120
I love it. I absolutely love it.
1307
01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:20,840
[Jeremy] Sadly, by the time the car
was finished,
1308
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:23,680
the Cold War had become so frigid
1309
01:11:24,160 --> 01:11:26,400
that it never went to Le Mans.
1310
01:11:27,520 --> 01:11:30,040
Only 2 were ever built.
1311
01:11:33,000 --> 01:11:36,760
At this point, I was going to let
Captain Miserable have a go in it.
1312
01:11:36,920 --> 01:11:38,960
But then I realised that actually
1313
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:43,240
he was better suited to this.
1314
01:11:45,240 --> 01:11:46,600
[thunder]
1315
01:11:49,640 --> 01:11:53,040
Built by another Czech carmaker, Praga,
1316
01:11:53,240 --> 01:11:55,960
it's called the Bohema.
1317
01:11:57,280 --> 01:12:00,680
It weighs less than a ton,
so it's race-car light
1318
01:12:01,160 --> 01:12:03,400
and it's propelled
by a Nissan GT-R engine
1319
01:12:04,120 --> 01:12:07,920
uprated to produce 720hp.
1320
01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:12,880
That means it will reach 190 mph
1321
01:12:13,040 --> 01:12:14,600
and go from 0 to 60
1322
01:12:15,280 --> 01:12:17,640
in less than 3 seconds.
1323
01:12:19,920 --> 01:12:24,320
This thing has got James May
written all over it.
1324
01:12:27,320 --> 01:12:28,720
Holy crap!
1325
01:12:32,200 --> 01:12:33,320
Ah!
1326
01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:37,520
Oh my God!
1327
01:12:46,000 --> 01:12:48,760
It has incredible steering.
It doesn't have a wheel, it has a yoke.
1328
01:12:49,560 --> 01:12:50,640
Even on a fairly tight circuit,
1329
01:12:50,840 --> 01:12:52,600
I never need to move my hand
1330
01:12:52,800 --> 01:12:54,680
to that quarter to 3 position.
1331
01:13:01,040 --> 01:13:04,040
It obviously has enormous acceleration.
1332
01:13:04,200 --> 01:13:06,680
They haven't gone for top speed,
1333
01:13:06,880 --> 01:13:09,280
but low weight and agility.
1334
01:13:12,160 --> 01:13:13,440
[tyres screech]
1335
01:13:13,640 --> 01:13:15,680
It definitely has that.
1336
01:13:19,160 --> 01:13:21,280
It's wonderful. Just wonderful.
1337
01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:28,000
A million quid. A million of your pounds.
1338
01:13:30,160 --> 01:13:31,840
[Jeremy] It does look good though.
1339
01:13:32,760 --> 01:13:35,800
[Richard] It's a difficult path to tread.
It's gotta look childish and silly...
1340
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:37,080
- Yes.
- It is.
1341
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:40,840
[Richard] But it looks accomplished
and finished.
1342
01:13:41,640 --> 01:13:44,360
The Czechs were always good
at this sort of thing.
1343
01:13:44,560 --> 01:13:46,800
They just had to put up with
a slight interruption:
1344
01:13:46,960 --> 01:13:51,280
WW2, getting bombed and then
having to live under the Soviets.
1345
01:13:51,440 --> 01:13:53,640
[epic music]
1346
01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:04,520
- What's that?
- Is that the door?
1347
01:14:04,720 --> 01:14:06,160
- That is the door.
- [Jeremy] It's a hatch.
1348
01:14:06,320 --> 01:14:07,160
You're right.
1349
01:14:07,320 --> 01:14:11,120
I must say this is an impressive piece
of engineering from the Czechs,
1350
01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:15,520
but the Slovakians
have now gone one better.
1351
01:14:16,840 --> 01:14:20,280
[cosmic music]
1352
01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:48,400
[tense music]
1353
01:15:09,440 --> 01:15:11,320
- [Richard] It's flying.
- [James] It is.
1354
01:15:13,960 --> 01:15:17,200
I've never actually seen that.
1355
01:15:20,600 --> 01:15:22,560
[epic music]
1356
01:15:23,240 --> 01:15:27,320
[Jeremy] This is the AirCar.
The first flying car ever
1357
01:15:27,520 --> 01:15:30,760
to fly between 2 airports
rather than just landing
1358
01:15:30,960 --> 01:15:34,120
immediately back where it started.
1359
01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:41,000
It can whizz through the air
8,000 feet up at 120 mph
1360
01:15:42,120 --> 01:15:44,240
and its maker, Stefan Klein,
1361
01:15:44,400 --> 01:15:48,040
reckons he will be able to put it on sale
in a year.
1362
01:15:48,240 --> 01:15:49,880
[music continues]
1363
01:16:02,240 --> 01:16:03,600
{\an8}[beep] yes!
1364
01:16:03,760 --> 01:16:05,080
{\an8}Voice of experienced cameraman.
1365
01:16:05,680 --> 01:16:06,680
[Richard] Wow!
1366
01:16:06,840 --> 01:16:08,880
[James] That car has landed.
1367
01:16:09,040 --> 01:16:13,160
Very rarely am I lost for words,
but I'm lost for words.
1368
01:16:14,320 --> 01:16:18,120
Honestly, they've always said
ever since we were kids:
1369
01:16:18,320 --> 01:16:20,240
"There'll be flying cars one day."
No, there won't!
1370
01:16:20,640 --> 01:16:24,160
The important thing to point out
is that's not just a flying car,
1371
01:16:24,320 --> 01:16:25,840
it did drive here.
1372
01:16:26,000 --> 01:16:27,160
- It arrived by road.
- [Jeremy] Yes!
1373
01:16:27,320 --> 01:16:31,840
- [Jeremy] It drove down the motorway.
- [James] And then became an aeroplane.
1374
01:16:32,040 --> 01:16:35,120
- [accent] "I wasn't impressed."
- "I don't agree with a flying car."
1375
01:16:35,280 --> 01:16:38,080
- "I don't like it all."
- "We don't need both."
1376
01:16:38,240 --> 01:16:39,040
Look at his face.
1377
01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:41,320
[Richard] Oh dear, don't tell him.
1378
01:16:42,320 --> 01:16:44,360
[pop music]
1379
01:16:46,880 --> 01:16:49,600
[Jeremy] We then continued
with our road trip
1380
01:16:49,800 --> 01:16:51,320
that no one had thought
of doing before...
1381
01:16:51,520 --> 01:16:54,520
[music continues]
1382
01:16:56,400 --> 01:16:59,120
[Jeremy] Heading south towards Hungary...
1383
01:17:00,800 --> 01:17:04,360
[music continues]
1384
01:17:05,520 --> 01:17:07,440
[Jeremy] ...with James moaning away
1385
01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:10,160
like Nigel Mansell
in the good old days.
1386
01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:12,840
[James] The steering wheel's
still too small.
1387
01:17:13,240 --> 01:17:16,320
The throttle pedal is still in the floor
and too high off the ground,
1388
01:17:16,440 --> 01:17:18,600
the brake's still pulling to the right.
1389
01:17:21,880 --> 01:17:24,000
Hammond is: "I've got sunburn."
1390
01:17:24,160 --> 01:17:28,080
And Jeremy's saying: "I'm not sure
my A/C is working properly."
1391
01:17:28,240 --> 01:17:29,920
[annoyed mimicking]
1392
01:17:31,160 --> 01:17:32,280
They've no idea.
1393
01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:38,440
[Jeremy] Once inside Hungary,
we received word from Mr Wilman
1394
01:17:38,840 --> 01:17:41,240
that we should report here.
1395
01:17:46,080 --> 01:17:49,200
This looks grass-track racing to me.
1396
01:17:49,880 --> 01:17:51,320
God, it's sticky.
1397
01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:54,800
[Richard] It's a country fair.
We'll be made to do Morris dancing.
1398
01:17:55,720 --> 01:17:58,240
I got a text from Mr Wilman.
1399
01:17:59,320 --> 01:18:00,680
[Richard] What does he say?
1400
01:18:01,040 --> 01:18:03,160
I need my glasses, hang on.
1401
01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:04,960
[Richard] We're judging
the terrier racing.
1402
01:18:05,160 --> 01:18:10,200
"You are going to race in turn
around the track I've set up."
1403
01:18:10,600 --> 01:18:11,920
- That's it.
- Yeah.
1404
01:18:15,600 --> 01:18:19,720
"The winner is the one who is shot
the least amount of times."
1405
01:18:20,320 --> 01:18:21,600
- What?
- [Jeremy] "Shot."
1406
01:18:22,840 --> 01:18:24,560
Shot with what?
1407
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:32,400
[Jeremy] Hungary is famous
for the Rubik's Cube
1408
01:18:32,640 --> 01:18:33,800
and goulash.
1409
01:18:33,960 --> 01:18:35,880
Everyone knows that.
1410
01:18:36,400 --> 01:18:38,360
What everyone doesn't know,
1411
01:18:38,600 --> 01:18:43,840
is that this country also produces
the world's best archers.
1412
01:18:44,200 --> 01:18:47,520
And we'd arrived
at an archery academy,
1413
01:18:47,720 --> 01:18:49,320
run by this chap.
1414
01:18:49,840 --> 01:18:51,320
[ominous music]
1415
01:18:54,840 --> 01:18:56,800
[talks in Hungarian]
1416
01:18:59,800 --> 01:19:00,800
[they shout]
1417
01:19:14,240 --> 01:19:15,640
[Jeremy] It doesn't feel that sharp.
1418
01:19:16,520 --> 01:19:18,200
Would this go in to the car?
1419
01:19:19,240 --> 01:19:20,840
[James] It might do.
1420
01:19:21,640 --> 01:19:24,240
[Jeremy] There was only one way
to find out.
1421
01:19:25,840 --> 01:19:27,080
Find a volunteer
1422
01:19:27,280 --> 01:19:29,240
and do our own test.
1423
01:19:29,360 --> 01:19:31,320
[accent] "I gather you've got a job
for us.
1424
01:19:31,520 --> 01:19:33,360
Here I am. Ready for duty."
1425
01:19:34,520 --> 01:19:36,240
[they laugh]
1426
01:19:36,400 --> 01:19:38,400
- Right.
- [Jeremy] Move your arm, Nigel.
1427
01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:41,280
"I'll stick it in me lap.
No funny business."
1428
01:19:42,400 --> 01:19:44,000
[Jeremy] Right, here we go.
1429
01:19:44,160 --> 01:19:45,080
[Richard] You're going to fire...
1430
01:19:45,240 --> 01:19:48,960
[Jeremy] I'm just saying I don't think
an arrow will go through that.
1431
01:19:49,120 --> 01:19:52,760
- But if they miss this...
- Exactly.
1432
01:19:52,920 --> 01:19:54,680
- We'll be there.
- I know.
1433
01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:55,800
OK.
1434
01:19:55,960 --> 01:19:58,520
[Jeremy] What if it bounces back
and gets me in the eye?
1435
01:20:02,360 --> 01:20:04,520
- [Jeremy] Oh!
- [Richard] Oh my Lord!
1436
01:20:05,640 --> 01:20:08,600
- And that was you doing it.
- That was a bit worrying.
1437
01:20:09,440 --> 01:20:10,560
Oh shit!
1438
01:20:11,320 --> 01:20:14,400
[Richard, with an accent] "Oh, lads,
I've got an arrow in me 'ead."
1439
01:20:14,880 --> 01:20:15,960
[Jeremy sighs]
1440
01:20:16,160 --> 01:20:17,080
[Richard] They're pretty good.
1441
01:20:17,880 --> 01:20:19,520
[Jeremy] The point I'm trying to make
1442
01:20:19,720 --> 01:20:24,320
is that James May, at a range of 20 feet,
missed the target. Right?
1443
01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:27,920
- And that was a stationary target.
- Yes, but...
1444
01:20:28,080 --> 01:20:30,640
We're going to be driving along.
1445
01:20:32,840 --> 01:20:34,320
[Jeremy] To make things worse,
1446
01:20:34,560 --> 01:20:37,360
another text then arrived from Mr Wilman.
1447
01:20:38,080 --> 01:20:41,160
"The archers will be shooting at you
1448
01:20:41,800 --> 01:20:44,840
whilst riding horses."
1449
01:20:45,400 --> 01:20:48,840
We'll be moving as the target,
but they'll be moving
1450
01:20:49,040 --> 01:20:50,440
- themselves on horses.
- Yes.
1451
01:20:50,640 --> 01:20:56,640
On an animal which is scared by
paper bags, wind, rain, sunshine,
1452
01:20:56,800 --> 01:20:58,280
gravel, door knobs,
1453
01:20:58,960 --> 01:21:00,560
- crisp packets...
- [James] Dogs.
1454
01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:03,200
You're riding along,
"I'm just lined up on the target",
1455
01:21:03,320 --> 01:21:05,800
and the horse sneezes or bucks
or does something.
1456
01:21:06,240 --> 01:21:07,840
- Arrow in your face.
- Well, look.
1457
01:21:08,000 --> 01:21:09,040
I know.
1458
01:21:09,240 --> 01:21:11,040
[James] I'm well aware of it.
1459
01:21:12,760 --> 01:21:14,880
[Jeremy] Up at Mr Wilman's track,
1460
01:21:15,040 --> 01:21:18,400
things had gone a bit
Game of Thrones-ish.
1461
01:21:18,640 --> 01:21:20,640
[dramatic music]
1462
01:21:20,800 --> 01:21:21,640
[horses neigh]
1463
01:21:23,840 --> 01:21:27,320
[war music]
1464
01:21:30,920 --> 01:21:34,360
[Jeremy] After a long discussion
between Hammond and I,
1465
01:21:34,600 --> 01:21:37,760
it was decided
that James should go first.
1466
01:21:45,920 --> 01:21:49,000
In 3, 2, 1, begin!
1467
01:21:50,160 --> 01:21:53,320
[Jeremy] James' tactic was to go slowly.
1468
01:21:53,760 --> 01:21:55,920
Because he had no choice.
1469
01:21:56,080 --> 01:21:57,360
Here comes a horseman.
1470
01:21:58,560 --> 01:21:59,440
[horses neigh]
1471
01:22:00,960 --> 01:22:02,040
- [clanking]
- Ah!
1472
01:22:02,240 --> 01:22:03,080
I heard that.
1473
01:22:03,280 --> 01:22:04,280
- [clanking]
- Argh!
1474
01:22:04,440 --> 01:22:05,880
And that.
1475
01:22:07,400 --> 01:22:09,120
- [clanking]
- God, that is proper sca...
1476
01:22:09,320 --> 01:22:11,040
- Argh! Argh!
- [clanking]
1477
01:22:11,240 --> 01:22:12,280
- [clanking]
- Argh! Argh!
1478
01:22:14,160 --> 01:22:15,240
[James] Argh!
1479
01:22:16,400 --> 01:22:18,840
[the archers shout]
1480
01:22:19,640 --> 01:22:21,000
[clanking]
1481
01:22:21,200 --> 01:22:22,160
[James] Stop!
1482
01:22:26,560 --> 01:22:29,200
James May
has become a porcupine.
1483
01:22:29,320 --> 01:22:32,200
[James] Argh!
1484
01:22:32,360 --> 01:22:34,440
Oh, God, let me go across the line.
1485
01:22:37,720 --> 01:22:38,320
Oh!
1486
01:22:38,560 --> 01:22:39,720
[Richard] Oh dear!
1487
01:22:41,040 --> 01:22:42,840
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
1488
01:22:43,320 --> 01:22:44,400
- [Richard] 6.
- [Jeremy] 6.
1489
01:22:44,640 --> 01:22:50,360
7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14.
1490
01:22:51,160 --> 01:22:54,240
Your score, James May, is 14
and you are alive.
1491
01:22:54,400 --> 01:22:56,560
[epic music]
1492
01:22:56,760 --> 01:22:58,840
[Jeremy] Hammond was up next.
1493
01:22:59,320 --> 01:23:01,600
3, 2, 1, goodbye.
1494
01:23:02,560 --> 01:23:06,040
[Jeremy] Unlike James,
he had a choice of speeds.
1495
01:23:08,400 --> 01:23:09,320
[man] Ow!
1496
01:23:10,920 --> 01:23:14,160
He's making dust.
He's hoping he'll be invisible
1497
01:23:14,320 --> 01:23:15,240
in his dust cloud.
1498
01:23:17,040 --> 01:23:19,240
Oh my God!
That's firing straight at...
1499
01:23:20,360 --> 01:23:22,600
God above!
[screams]
1500
01:23:22,920 --> 01:23:23,720
Didn't like that.
1501
01:23:23,880 --> 01:23:26,440
[Jeremy] Although some arrows
found their mark...
1502
01:23:29,400 --> 01:23:32,920
Hammond's speed
and power did seem to work.
1503
01:23:34,680 --> 01:23:36,800
[James] Only 1 on this side.
Bit disappointing.
1504
01:23:36,960 --> 01:23:38,320
- It broke though.
- It broke.
1505
01:23:39,440 --> 01:23:41,000
[James] He's only got 7.
1506
01:23:41,200 --> 01:23:43,280
4, 5, 6, 7.
1507
01:23:43,720 --> 01:23:44,680
[James] But then...
1508
01:23:45,960 --> 01:23:47,560
[James] Ah! Wait a minute.
1509
01:23:47,760 --> 01:23:50,800
[Jeremy] Wait a minute.
One of your targets fell off.
1510
01:23:51,600 --> 01:23:54,200
- [Jeremy] What was it? 7?
- Plus those 3.10.
1511
01:23:54,360 --> 01:23:57,080
You dropped a target before the end
so he gets a penalty of 4,
1512
01:23:57,240 --> 01:23:58,920
which means 14,
so its neck and neck.
1513
01:23:59,400 --> 01:24:02,080
Are these the international regulations
for this?
1514
01:24:02,280 --> 01:24:04,440
You can't just randomly give me...
1515
01:24:04,640 --> 01:24:07,320
- [accent] "I agree as well."
- There you go. 3 to 1.
1516
01:24:07,520 --> 01:24:08,680
You can't bring Nigel in to this.
1517
01:24:08,880 --> 01:24:10,880
[Jeremy] He just has.
1518
01:24:11,080 --> 01:24:13,240
So that's 14, 14.
14 to beat.
1519
01:24:15,560 --> 01:24:19,840
- [Richard] J. Clarkson, are you ready?
- Not happy, but ready.
1520
01:24:20,040 --> 01:24:22,040
3, 2, 1, go!
1521
01:24:23,960 --> 01:24:27,640
[Jeremy] Perhaps because they were
distracted by the sheer beauty of my car,
1522
01:24:27,840 --> 01:24:29,000
Ouch! Christ!
1523
01:24:30,880 --> 01:24:33,680
the archers fired more arrows
at the bodywork
1524
01:24:33,880 --> 01:24:35,240
than the targets.
1525
01:24:38,400 --> 01:24:39,320
In the windscreen.
1526
01:24:41,240 --> 01:24:42,040
Make it end!
1527
01:24:43,320 --> 01:24:44,600
[Jeremy] Although this would guarantee
1528
01:24:44,800 --> 01:24:46,080
a winning score,
1529
01:24:46,280 --> 01:24:47,240
team Le-Seyde
1530
01:24:47,400 --> 01:24:49,280
paid a heavy price.
1531
01:24:50,240 --> 01:24:52,960
Nigel Mansell's head has come off.
1532
01:24:58,360 --> 01:25:00,080
[Richard, with an accent] "Now look
what you've done."
1533
01:25:01,040 --> 01:25:03,200
[accent] "I've been shot in the cheek
with an arrow.
1534
01:25:03,640 --> 01:25:04,640
And now me 'ead's come off."
1535
01:25:04,840 --> 01:25:07,600
- Can we add up your hits?
- 1, 2,
1536
01:25:07,800 --> 01:25:08,680
3,
1537
01:25:08,880 --> 01:25:09,720
6.
1538
01:25:09,920 --> 01:25:10,920
You've won.
1539
01:25:11,120 --> 01:25:13,280
I've lived. Nigel has been decapitated.
1540
01:25:13,440 --> 01:25:16,600
And my candelabra is in tatters.
1541
01:25:16,760 --> 01:25:19,640
And that is a sentence
nobody's ever said before.
1542
01:25:24,440 --> 01:25:27,160
[groovy music]
1543
01:25:29,240 --> 01:25:32,080
[Jeremy] The next morning,
we all turned off our phones
1544
01:25:32,240 --> 01:25:34,320
so Mr Wilman couldn't text us anymore
1545
01:25:34,920 --> 01:25:37,040
and headed for our final country.
1546
01:25:38,360 --> 01:25:40,000
Slovenia.
1547
01:25:41,000 --> 01:25:44,320
[Jeremy] OK, I've repaired
my chandeliers,
1548
01:25:45,600 --> 01:25:46,920
but most importantly,
1549
01:25:47,120 --> 01:25:50,600
I've surgically reattached Nigel's head.
1550
01:25:51,640 --> 01:25:55,080
[accent] "You lads have a life, you do.
I'll tell you that for nothing."
1551
01:25:56,320 --> 01:25:58,880
[Jeremy] Meanwhile,
James in the hot rod again,
1552
01:25:59,080 --> 01:26:01,200
was back in moan mode.
1553
01:26:01,360 --> 01:26:02,960
God, I hate it!
1554
01:26:03,160 --> 01:26:05,400
It's noisy, it's ugly,
1555
01:26:05,640 --> 01:26:06,760
it smells,
1556
01:26:06,960 --> 01:26:09,640
I've offended women everywhere.
1557
01:26:10,600 --> 01:26:11,800
I'm going to say
1558
01:26:12,000 --> 01:26:13,840
and it's a big field of competitors,
1559
01:26:14,000 --> 01:26:17,960
this is the worst car
I've ever driven on TV.
1560
01:26:18,120 --> 01:26:19,200
Actually in my life.
1561
01:26:20,360 --> 01:26:22,240
It's not even fast.
1562
01:26:22,800 --> 01:26:25,160
The biggest number I've seen
on that speedo
1563
01:26:25,320 --> 01:26:28,640
is 70 and I know that's only about 64.
1564
01:26:29,080 --> 01:26:30,000
That's it.
1565
01:26:31,400 --> 01:26:36,640
[Jeremy] Soon, we entered Slovenia,
where we were immediately distracted
1566
01:26:36,840 --> 01:26:38,400
by the scenery.
1567
01:26:38,840 --> 01:26:41,200
[enthralling music]
1568
01:26:47,560 --> 01:26:49,520
Jesus! That is spectacular.
1569
01:26:51,040 --> 01:26:52,280
Holy cow!
1570
01:26:54,320 --> 01:26:59,280
[Jeremy] Soon we realised that
these mountains weren't just beautiful.
1571
01:27:00,760 --> 01:27:02,960
They could be useful too.
1572
01:27:03,160 --> 01:27:06,360
Useful in helping us find out
if James' hot rod
1573
01:27:07,160 --> 01:27:10,320
was as slow as he claimed.
1574
01:27:14,800 --> 01:27:20,000
How fast have you managed to make
the hot rod go while you were driving it?
1575
01:27:20,200 --> 01:27:24,000
- Maybe 65 miles an hour.
- 65. OK.
1576
01:27:24,160 --> 01:27:28,960
Let's see now what it can achieve
in the hands of a master.
1577
01:27:29,760 --> 01:27:31,120
Here he comes now.
1578
01:27:31,320 --> 01:27:34,200
[accent] "Let's see the dog getting
the rabbit. What's going on here?
1579
01:27:34,880 --> 01:27:38,440
"There's only one fellow for
this job, me, with an arrow in me face.
1580
01:27:38,600 --> 01:27:39,440
Ready to go.
1581
01:27:39,920 --> 01:27:43,440
Now you've got a world champion
in what you've got here."
1582
01:27:44,800 --> 01:27:49,040
Nigel, you've got your straight six.
But to give you a bit more oomph,
1583
01:27:49,240 --> 01:27:51,400
we've added some extra gravity.
1584
01:27:52,120 --> 01:27:53,720
[dramatic music]
1585
01:28:00,480 --> 01:28:06,600
65 mph to beat on one run.
There's a speed readout over there,
1586
01:28:06,800 --> 01:28:08,160
which is connected to a speed trap.
1587
01:28:08,320 --> 01:28:11,080
[Jeremy with an accent] "I'll blow
the doors off the speed reader.
1588
01:28:11,240 --> 01:28:13,200
Watch this car control."
1589
01:28:13,400 --> 01:28:15,840
- [Jeremy] You ready, Nige?
- [Richard with an accent] "Ready."
1590
01:28:16,440 --> 01:28:19,360
3, 2, 1, go!
1591
01:28:20,640 --> 01:28:22,960
- [Jeremy] he's under way.
- [Richard] So long, lads!
1592
01:28:30,800 --> 01:28:32,440
- [Jeremy] Nigel!
- [Richard] Keep right!
1593
01:28:41,040 --> 01:28:42,160
[Jeremy] Even though the impact
1594
01:28:42,360 --> 01:28:44,720
had knocked all of Nigel's hair out,
1595
01:28:45,520 --> 01:28:47,720
he managed to regain control.
1596
01:28:49,920 --> 01:28:54,200
And he smashed
James' speed record.
1597
01:28:56,120 --> 01:28:59,760
But sadly, the hot rod was a write-off.
1598
01:29:03,320 --> 01:29:07,280
[Jeremy] I haven't seen a car this
damaged since James drove in to a tunnel.
1599
01:29:07,480 --> 01:29:11,200
- [Richard] Well, that is...
- [James] It's pretty bent.
1600
01:29:11,400 --> 01:29:18,040
Nigel, you did 89.14 mph.
25 mph faster than I've ever been.
1601
01:29:18,240 --> 01:29:20,360
[Richard with an accent] "I don't care.
I am resigning.
1602
01:29:20,560 --> 01:29:24,000
I hate this gig, it's uncomfy.
There's no dignity in this."
1603
01:29:24,200 --> 01:29:27,520
[Jeremy] He's only been working with us
for about 3 days.
1604
01:29:27,720 --> 01:29:32,200
People will say: "Remember when Mansell
was with... He didn't last long."
1605
01:29:32,400 --> 01:29:35,200
We'd better apologise to the owners
of the ski resort.
1606
01:29:35,360 --> 01:29:36,840
- Sorry about that.
- Sorry.
1607
01:29:37,000 --> 01:29:38,720
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
1608
01:29:43,160 --> 01:29:45,360
[rock music]
1609
01:29:46,680 --> 01:29:51,120
[Jeremy] We got back on the road,
a little sad that Nigel had quit.
1610
01:29:55,240 --> 01:29:56,240
On the plus side,
1611
01:29:56,440 --> 01:30:01,080
we were now just 60 miles
from the finish line at Lake Bled.
1612
01:30:04,200 --> 01:30:05,440
And our colleague
1613
01:30:05,640 --> 01:30:07,400
was smiling again.
1614
01:30:08,200 --> 01:30:10,160
Hello again, old chum.
1615
01:30:10,960 --> 01:30:12,360
Very, very nice to be back with you.
1616
01:30:12,520 --> 01:30:15,920
I hope I didn't say anything bad
about you. If I did, I didn't mean it.
1617
01:30:16,120 --> 01:30:18,320
- [gear stick screeching]
- Oh!
1618
01:30:18,800 --> 01:30:20,240
Hang on.
1619
01:30:22,040 --> 01:30:23,360
Don't stop.
1620
01:30:23,920 --> 01:30:27,240
[Richard] Sensing the little scamp
was up to its old tricks,
1621
01:30:27,440 --> 01:30:30,000
Jeremy and I took our leave.
1622
01:30:34,320 --> 01:30:36,680
Crosley's splashing.
There it is.
1623
01:30:37,800 --> 01:30:38,720
Bye.
1624
01:30:38,920 --> 01:30:41,080
[rock music]
1625
01:30:45,000 --> 01:30:49,280
[Richard] I'm very, very keen
to get to Lake Bled before it gets dark,
1626
01:30:49,480 --> 01:30:52,160
because I've heard
it's unbelievably beautiful
1627
01:30:52,320 --> 01:30:54,480
and given what we've seen today,
1628
01:30:54,640 --> 01:30:56,680
standards are high to start with.
1629
01:30:56,880 --> 01:30:59,160
[car horn toots]
1630
01:31:02,480 --> 01:31:06,040
[Richard] We ate up the miles
on silk smooth roads,
1631
01:31:06,640 --> 01:31:09,840
drinking in the "Sound of Music"
backdrop.
1632
01:31:11,120 --> 01:31:13,320
As the sun was setting,
1633
01:31:13,720 --> 01:31:16,680
we finally reached our destination.
1634
01:31:17,280 --> 01:31:19,040
Oh my Lord!
1635
01:31:20,160 --> 01:31:22,320
[enthralling music]
1636
01:31:41,440 --> 01:31:44,240
- [Richard] That delivers.
- [Jeremy] Does it ever.
1637
01:31:45,400 --> 01:31:49,240
[Richard] If you painted that as a scene,
and presented it to someone,
1638
01:31:49,400 --> 01:31:51,280
they'd say: "You've overdone it."
1639
01:31:51,680 --> 01:31:55,120
[Jeremy] "You can't have 2 churches,
one on an island and one there
1640
01:31:55,280 --> 01:31:59,200
and a castle on a rock.
Nowhere in the world looks like that."
1641
01:32:00,480 --> 01:32:02,320
[Richard] It's fabulous.
1642
01:32:03,320 --> 01:32:06,520
[Jeremy] I love the colour
of melted glacier water.
1643
01:32:06,720 --> 01:32:09,720
[Richard] That is beautiful,
beautiful scenery.
1644
01:32:10,440 --> 01:32:12,480
We could wait here for James
1645
01:32:13,480 --> 01:32:17,400
or we could go and find a bar
or a restaurant.
1646
01:32:17,560 --> 01:32:18,600
With a view...
1647
01:32:18,800 --> 01:32:21,560
[Jeremy] That looks at that
and have a cheeky beer.
1648
01:32:22,360 --> 01:32:25,680
I favour that option,
because as a team,
1649
01:32:25,840 --> 01:32:31,160
66.6% of us will have enjoyed a beer
while looking at that.
1650
01:32:32,040 --> 01:32:35,440
[calm music]
1651
01:32:38,400 --> 01:32:40,960
[Richard] Sadly, Captain Slowly
1652
01:32:41,160 --> 01:32:43,960
didn't arrive until after
it had gone dark.
1653
01:32:47,680 --> 01:32:53,160
So it ate half a pig,
but it only had 3 legs.
1654
01:32:53,560 --> 01:32:54,680
- So it...
- Mate!
1655
01:32:55,160 --> 01:32:56,920
- [James] Evening.
- We all made it!
1656
01:32:57,440 --> 01:32:59,240
[Richard] Welcome. Nice to see you.
1657
01:32:59,400 --> 01:33:00,760
- [Jeremy] You're here.
- I am.
1658
01:33:00,960 --> 01:33:02,800
You've done a job.
We've done a thing.
1659
01:33:02,960 --> 01:33:05,200
We've done well. Conquered it.
1660
01:33:05,360 --> 01:33:07,520
The only drawback is,
sorry to have to tell you,
1661
01:33:07,720 --> 01:33:13,680
that view, Lake Bled - isn't it,
Hammond? - is unbelievable.
1662
01:33:13,840 --> 01:33:16,040
"View" doesn't cover it.
It's like a feast...
1663
01:33:16,200 --> 01:33:19,360
He said his eyes have indigestion.
1664
01:33:19,560 --> 01:33:21,040
They couldn't consume any more of it.
1665
01:33:21,240 --> 01:33:26,200
I love a lake, but nothing rivals this.
It's a shame you missed it.
1666
01:33:26,360 --> 01:33:28,400
- I'll see it in the morning.
- Ah!
1667
01:33:28,920 --> 01:33:31,320
Mmh. A bit of a problem with that.
1668
01:33:31,520 --> 01:33:33,160
- We've had a text.
- Mr Wilman?
1669
01:33:33,320 --> 01:33:34,120
[Richard] Yes.
1670
01:33:34,320 --> 01:33:38,000
The plane leaves tomorrow morning
at 8 o'clock.
1671
01:33:38,440 --> 01:33:42,560
But it's about, in your car,
two and a half hours away.
1672
01:33:42,760 --> 01:33:46,040
You need to leave a good hour
when you check-in.
1673
01:33:46,200 --> 01:33:47,440
- So...
- We've worked this out.
1674
01:33:47,600 --> 01:33:48,440
Have you?
1675
01:33:48,640 --> 01:33:51,920
- There's no more view to look at.
- You have to leave at half past four.
1676
01:33:52,120 --> 01:33:55,320
- Really?
- This is where it gets unfortunate.
1677
01:33:55,880 --> 01:33:58,240
- You've missed it this evening.
- Yes.
1678
01:33:58,400 --> 01:33:59,720
- Because it's dark.
- Yes.
1679
01:33:59,920 --> 01:34:02,720
But you'll miss it in the morning,
it's even more dark.
1680
01:34:02,880 --> 01:34:05,480
So I'm going to go to bed.
1681
01:34:05,640 --> 01:34:08,640
That's a shame again
because we had a delicious
1682
01:34:08,840 --> 01:34:11,200
- spaghetti bolognese.
- That's fine. See you in the morning.
1683
01:34:11,360 --> 01:34:12,320
[Jeremy] See you...
1684
01:34:12,520 --> 01:34:15,400
- See you at the airport.
- It'll be dark.
1685
01:34:15,600 --> 01:34:18,840
[Richard] I want to remind myself of this
before we go.
1686
01:34:21,120 --> 01:34:23,000
[car engine starts]
1687
01:34:24,200 --> 01:34:27,880
[James] The next morning, I was
on my way before the sun came up.
1688
01:34:29,960 --> 01:34:34,440
Come on, metal bastard.
I've even got my Crosley T-shirt on.
1689
01:34:34,600 --> 01:34:35,680
Let's go.
1690
01:34:36,680 --> 01:34:39,880
I'd actually got up earlier
than I needed to.
1691
01:34:40,280 --> 01:34:42,000
Because I wanted to leave
1692
01:34:42,360 --> 01:34:45,960
a present for the Smug Brothers
who'd seen everything on this trip
1693
01:34:46,120 --> 01:34:48,280
while I'd seen nothing.
1694
01:34:49,880 --> 01:34:53,960
[gentle music]
1695
01:34:55,160 --> 01:34:57,040
[Jeremy] That has got to be May.
1696
01:34:57,240 --> 01:34:58,960
[Richard] That is next level!
1697
01:35:00,520 --> 01:35:01,920
[Richard] That is really...
1698
01:35:02,880 --> 01:35:04,160
Oh!
1699
01:35:04,320 --> 01:35:05,360
Oh, he's done me.
1700
01:35:05,800 --> 01:35:07,880
- [Jeremy] What?
- He's done me as well.
1701
01:35:08,360 --> 01:35:10,800
Oh... he is evil.
1702
01:35:11,000 --> 01:35:15,040
He's also an idiot.
I've got 2 spares on my front wings.
1703
01:35:16,040 --> 01:35:18,720
I'll have a wheel. It's a pickup.
There's bound to be one.
1704
01:35:19,320 --> 01:35:20,360
Dammit!
1705
01:35:20,520 --> 01:35:23,600
These are fake.
There are no wheels in them.
1706
01:35:25,120 --> 01:35:27,120
[Richard] What, your wheel things?
1707
01:35:27,320 --> 01:35:28,760
[Richard laughs]
1708
01:35:28,960 --> 01:35:30,800
Like your manifolds,
there's no wheels in it.
1709
01:35:31,000 --> 01:35:32,800
[Jeremy] Where's your spare?
1710
01:35:33,920 --> 01:35:35,080
[Richard] I haven't got one.
1711
01:35:36,040 --> 01:35:38,200
Where's he bloody put them?
1712
01:35:38,880 --> 01:35:40,480
[Jeremy] We haven't got time for this.
1713
01:35:41,440 --> 01:35:43,440
[Jeremy] Then, we found them.
1714
01:35:44,040 --> 01:35:45,600
[Jeremy] Oh!
1715
01:35:45,800 --> 01:35:46,880
[Richard] Oh, my God!
1716
01:35:48,720 --> 01:35:52,280
[Jeremy] Worst still, powered craft
are banned on Lake Bled,
1717
01:35:53,600 --> 01:35:59,080
so to get our wheels back
we'd have to commandeer a rowing boat.
1718
01:36:02,640 --> 01:36:03,600
Oh [beep] hell!
1719
01:36:07,120 --> 01:36:09,040
[Richard] This is like
Swallows and Amazons, only crap.
1720
01:36:09,200 --> 01:36:10,000
Right.
1721
01:36:12,120 --> 01:36:13,880
I'm facing the wrong way.
1722
01:36:14,320 --> 01:36:17,080
- I need directions, Hammond.
- Er, yes.
1723
01:36:17,240 --> 01:36:20,040
[Richard] Right hand down. I don't know,
I'm facing the other way.
1724
01:36:20,200 --> 01:36:22,120
- [Richard] Left hand down a bit.
- [Jeremy] What?
1725
01:36:23,440 --> 01:36:25,520
[funky music]
1726
01:36:25,680 --> 01:36:27,360
[James] Welcome back.
1727
01:36:28,000 --> 01:36:30,720
I think I'm going to make it,
if nothing goes wrong
1728
01:36:30,920 --> 01:36:32,800
with the fine car.
1729
01:36:33,280 --> 01:36:36,800
I am, I wish to remind you,
in the lead.
1730
01:36:36,960 --> 01:36:42,160
724cc, 75 years old
1731
01:36:42,680 --> 01:36:46,040
and here I am... winning.
1732
01:36:48,280 --> 01:36:52,200
[Jeremy] Bullshit!
I've gone in the swimming area.
1733
01:36:53,160 --> 01:36:55,800
[Jeremy] Having offloaded Hammond
into the other boat,
1734
01:36:55,960 --> 01:36:59,720
we eventually reached
the dock with our wheels.
1735
01:37:00,360 --> 01:37:03,560
- [Richard] We've wasted 45 minutes.
- I'm aware of that.
1736
01:37:06,200 --> 01:37:08,760
[Richard] No, don't... I can't hold it
at an angle.
1737
01:37:08,920 --> 01:37:10,840
[splashing]
1738
01:37:17,000 --> 01:37:19,360
Breaking, buffeting, weaving...
1739
01:37:19,520 --> 01:37:20,680
Thank you.
1740
01:37:21,560 --> 01:37:24,480
What a fine car this is, this fine car.
1741
01:37:25,680 --> 01:37:27,560
[Jeremy] Luckily for us, wheels float,
1742
01:37:27,760 --> 01:37:30,400
so, after a bit more faff...
1743
01:37:30,560 --> 01:37:31,360
[Richard] Go!
1744
01:37:32,160 --> 01:37:33,880
[Jeremy] ...we were finally on the road.
1745
01:37:36,720 --> 01:37:38,600
[bagpipes]
1746
01:37:38,800 --> 01:37:39,720
Bagpipes,
1747
01:37:39,920 --> 01:37:43,680
serious speed is called for.
6 litres of V8,
1748
01:37:43,880 --> 01:37:44,600
that'll get me there.
1749
01:37:45,880 --> 01:37:47,800
[Jeremy] Job 1: catch James May
1750
01:37:48,000 --> 01:37:51,440
and run him off the road.
Job 2: catch the plane.
1751
01:37:52,520 --> 01:37:55,000
[tense music]
1752
01:37:56,280 --> 01:37:59,160
Temperature is constant,
all pressure is good.
1753
01:37:59,360 --> 01:38:02,440
This car has only one remaining job.
1754
01:38:02,600 --> 01:38:06,840
With as many years on it, it just has to
get me to the airport. That is all.
1755
01:38:09,520 --> 01:38:10,520
[engine roaring]
1756
01:38:10,960 --> 01:38:11,800
[Jeremy] Listen to that.
1757
01:38:12,000 --> 01:38:13,320
- [car revving]
- Crisp power.
1758
01:38:14,000 --> 01:38:15,320
Yes!
1759
01:38:16,240 --> 01:38:17,920
[Richard] Right. I'm on the hunt.
1760
01:38:21,280 --> 01:38:22,320
[James] Up ahead,
1761
01:38:22,520 --> 01:38:25,600
I was now facing
the Crosely's number 1 enemy:
1762
01:38:29,840 --> 01:38:31,240
a hill.
1763
01:38:32,400 --> 01:38:34,200
Oh, God!
1764
01:38:34,800 --> 01:38:36,920
I'm down to 15 mph.
1765
01:38:39,160 --> 01:38:40,440
Come on!
1766
01:38:40,640 --> 01:38:42,840
[suspenseful music]
1767
01:38:43,040 --> 01:38:44,440
[Richard] Roll it in.
1768
01:38:44,640 --> 01:38:47,040
[tyres screeching]
1769
01:38:50,800 --> 01:38:53,240
[Jeremy] Hauling him in
through the corners.
1770
01:38:55,000 --> 01:38:56,440
[music continues]
1771
01:38:56,640 --> 01:38:57,840
[tyres screeching]
1772
01:39:00,280 --> 01:39:01,560
Ha! Look what I've found.
1773
01:39:03,720 --> 01:39:04,440
[James] Come on!
1774
01:39:04,640 --> 01:39:05,920
[bagpipes]
1775
01:39:07,960 --> 01:39:09,320
Sorry, mate.
Gotta be done.
1776
01:39:12,080 --> 01:39:14,200
There we are.
James May missed Jesus,
1777
01:39:14,360 --> 01:39:16,360
he missed the POW camp,
1778
01:39:16,520 --> 01:39:20,320
every single lunch and dinner
on the entire road trip
1779
01:39:20,520 --> 01:39:22,120
and now he's going to miss the plane.
1780
01:39:24,400 --> 01:39:26,920
[Jeremy] And a mile or so later...
1781
01:39:28,240 --> 01:39:29,960
[Richard] Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
1782
01:39:30,680 --> 01:39:33,840
I've got the oil light on,
temperature light on,
1783
01:39:34,480 --> 01:39:35,640
every light is on.
1784
01:39:38,280 --> 01:39:40,960
I'm overheating.
1785
01:39:42,000 --> 01:39:42,680
I'm sorry?
1786
01:39:42,880 --> 01:39:46,280
[Richard] I've got all sorts of lights
coming on. I'll have to stop.
1787
01:39:47,560 --> 01:39:48,840
Oh, dear.
1788
01:39:50,280 --> 01:39:52,040
[engine revving]
1789
01:39:54,160 --> 01:39:56,000
[Jeremy] And then there was one.
1790
01:39:56,200 --> 01:39:57,960
[he laughs]
1791
01:40:02,480 --> 01:40:03,840
[James] Oh!
1792
01:40:04,480 --> 01:40:06,560
Having a spot of bother?
1793
01:40:08,600 --> 01:40:09,640
Oh!
1794
01:40:09,840 --> 01:40:12,400
Shouldn't rejoice, but hahaha!
1795
01:40:18,120 --> 01:40:19,160
[Richard] Oh, God!
1796
01:40:21,000 --> 01:40:25,200
I think the problem is... I don't think,
I know what the problem is.
1797
01:40:25,360 --> 01:40:27,040
The electric fan hasn't been running.
1798
01:40:30,480 --> 01:40:33,520
[Jeremy] As it turned out, the airport
was just a couple of miles
1799
01:40:33,680 --> 01:40:36,360
from where Hammond had broken down.
1800
01:40:36,880 --> 01:40:38,240
Here it is. Aerodrome.
1801
01:40:38,440 --> 01:40:40,960
[throbbing music]
1802
01:40:42,240 --> 01:40:47,280
I'll have their lunch, their drinks
and then stretch out across their seats.
1803
01:40:48,960 --> 01:40:53,280
[Jeremy] However, Mr Wilman's plane
was not what I was expecting.
1804
01:40:53,480 --> 01:40:56,240
[suspenseful music]
1805
01:41:00,720 --> 01:41:02,320
[Jeremy] That is... Jesus!
1806
01:41:03,040 --> 01:41:06,280
[Jeremy] And clearly,
it was already taxiing.
1807
01:41:06,480 --> 01:41:07,640
Shit!
1808
01:41:08,400 --> 01:41:09,800
Look, the ramp's down.
1809
01:41:12,520 --> 01:41:14,320
The ramp is down.
The ramp is down!
1810
01:41:14,520 --> 01:41:16,360
[action music]
1811
01:41:28,880 --> 01:41:30,040
A lot of jet wash.
1812
01:41:30,240 --> 01:41:31,480
Lots of jet wash.
1813
01:41:36,520 --> 01:41:38,200
I'm on!
1814
01:41:38,680 --> 01:41:40,000
I'm off again.
1815
01:41:41,280 --> 01:41:42,320
Go for second.
1816
01:41:46,440 --> 01:41:47,280
Come on!
1817
01:41:47,840 --> 01:41:49,480
Back wheels.
1818
01:41:49,680 --> 01:41:50,880
Jesus!
1819
01:41:53,760 --> 01:41:55,160
[tyres screeching]
1820
01:41:57,480 --> 01:41:58,440
Jeez!
1821
01:42:01,600 --> 01:42:03,800
Holy shit! Are you kidding?
1822
01:42:06,960 --> 01:42:09,760
[action music]
1823
01:42:13,000 --> 01:42:15,760
Come on, car.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
1824
01:42:20,960 --> 01:42:21,920
Go on!
1825
01:42:23,440 --> 01:42:24,360
Argh!
1826
01:42:25,600 --> 01:42:27,120
It's getting away.
1827
01:42:30,000 --> 01:42:30,800
Coming through!
1828
01:42:33,080 --> 01:42:34,240
[Richard] Aha!
1829
01:42:34,440 --> 01:42:35,600
You bastard!
1830
01:42:40,160 --> 01:42:42,480
That was a bit late.
1831
01:42:43,320 --> 01:42:44,800
[car engine revving]
1832
01:42:45,920 --> 01:42:47,240
[James] I've got to do it this time.
1833
01:42:49,280 --> 01:42:51,520
No, windscreen wipers.
For God's sake!
1834
01:42:52,320 --> 01:42:53,120
[Richard] Here he comes.
1835
01:42:53,320 --> 01:42:54,480
Here he comes.
1836
01:42:57,800 --> 01:42:59,600
[James groans]
1837
01:42:59,800 --> 01:43:01,080
I can't do it.
1838
01:43:01,280 --> 01:43:03,600
Shoot me! Shoot me, Hammond!
1839
01:43:03,800 --> 01:43:04,960
Come on!
1840
01:43:06,720 --> 01:43:08,000
Here I come.
1841
01:43:12,400 --> 01:43:13,080
[James] Yeah!
1842
01:43:13,840 --> 01:43:15,080
[engine stops]
1843
01:43:15,960 --> 01:43:16,920
Dead?
1844
01:43:19,440 --> 01:43:21,480
It won't start.
1845
01:43:22,800 --> 01:43:23,600
Come on in, James.
1846
01:43:24,680 --> 01:43:28,480
- [James] It won't go.
- [Jeremy] We can't take off like that.
1847
01:43:31,280 --> 01:43:32,080
Argh!
1848
01:43:32,960 --> 01:43:33,720
Ooh!
1849
01:43:34,120 --> 01:43:36,400
Oh, Jesus. Come on, car,
you can do it.
1850
01:43:37,360 --> 01:43:40,080
[engine revving]
1851
01:43:40,280 --> 01:43:42,440
[epic music]
1852
01:43:45,560 --> 01:43:47,520
[Richard] Come on, James!
1853
01:43:47,720 --> 01:43:49,840
It's a good job
the runway is 26 miles long.
1854
01:43:50,000 --> 01:43:51,080
I'm pleased about that.
1855
01:43:51,240 --> 01:43:53,240
It's longer than that one
in Fast and Furious.
1856
01:43:53,400 --> 01:43:54,200
Much longer!
1857
01:43:54,400 --> 01:43:56,560
[epic music]
1858
01:43:59,000 --> 01:44:01,280
Buffeting. Buffeting.
1859
01:44:03,040 --> 01:44:04,320
Argh!
1860
01:44:05,200 --> 01:44:06,000
Yes!
1861
01:44:06,480 --> 01:44:08,320
[Richard] Oh, my Lord!
1862
01:44:08,520 --> 01:44:09,400
Wow.
1863
01:44:09,840 --> 01:44:12,640
- James May caught the plane!
- Welcome aboard!
1864
01:44:13,640 --> 01:44:14,480
Thank you.
1865
01:44:14,680 --> 01:44:16,240
- We did it!
- We all did it!
1866
01:44:16,400 --> 01:44:18,720
- We did a thing.
- That was extraordinary.
1867
01:44:24,000 --> 01:44:25,160
[Richard] Err...
1868
01:44:31,480 --> 01:44:33,200
[Jeremy] Oh, God, I know what...
1869
01:44:33,960 --> 01:44:36,800
We've just driven on to an airplane
that just landed.
1870
01:44:42,880 --> 01:44:44,480
- I've got a text.
- What?
1871
01:44:44,640 --> 01:44:46,400
- It's from Mr Wilman.
- [Jeremy] Mmh-mmh.
1872
01:44:46,560 --> 01:44:49,840
It says: "Do you want coffees?
I'm at the BA check-in."
1873
01:44:52,560 --> 01:44:54,400
- It's in there, isn't it?
- There.
1874
01:44:57,040 --> 01:45:00,120
So everything we just did
was nothing to do with this trip?
1875
01:45:00,280 --> 01:45:01,080
No, it wasn't.
1876
01:45:01,280 --> 01:45:03,440
And on that terrible disappointment,
1877
01:45:03,600 --> 01:45:05,960
it's time to end.
Thank you so much for watching.
1878
01:45:06,120 --> 01:45:07,200
See you next time.
1879
01:45:08,720 --> 01:45:11,040
- [Richard] Somebody's going to be cross.
- [Jeremy] Yeah.
1880
01:45:12,640 --> 01:45:15,080
[upbeat music]